And though I had slain a thousand foes less one,
The thousandth knife found my liver;
The thousandth enemy said to me,
'Now you shall die,
Now none shall know.'
And the fool, looking down, believed this,
Not seeing, above his shoulders, the naked stars,
Each one remembering.
--John M. Ford, The Final Reflection

The Asylum Director

My photo
"The only thing I was fit for was to be a writer, and this rested solely on my suspicion that I would never be fit for real work, and that writing didn't require any." - Russel Baker

Friday, October 26, 2007

Random Tests

Arty Kid

Whether you were a drama freak or an emo poet, you definitely were expressive and unique.

You're probably a little less weird these days - but even more talented!


You Are 76% Sociopath

The good news is that you're devastatingly charming.
The bad news? You mostly use those charms for evil!


You Are 77% Misanthropic

Here's the truth: Most people suck. You are just lucky enough to know it.
You're not ready to go live alone in a cave - but you're getting there.


Your Life is 72% Off Track

If you're honest with yourself, you have to admit that you often feel like you're living the wrong life.
It's a pretty easy conclusion to come to - because it seems like not a lot is going right.
Consider finding a life coach or mentor. You need some encouragement in turning your life around.


Your Vocabulary Score: A-

Congratulations on your multifarious vocabulary!
You must be quite an erudite person.


You Are 84% Perfectionist

You're a total perfectionist. So go ahead and congratulate yourself on a "perfect" score.
The truth is, everyone is sick of living up to your standards. And you're probably even sick them yourself.


You Should Have Been Born Under:

You have both a fiery energy and a warm heart.
Your charisma and charm makes it easy for you to influence others.
Lucky in life, you also have a reputation of being lucky in love.
Power hungry, you are determined to get what you want - no matter what it takes.

You are most compatible with a Monkey or Rat.


You Have A Type A- Personality

You are one of the most balanced people around
Motivated and focused, you are good at getting what you want
You rule at success, but success doesn't rule you.

When it's playtime, you really know how to kick back
Whether it's hanging out with friends or doing something you love!
You live life to the fullest - incorporating the best of both worlds


You Are Merlot

Smooth, confident, and popular - you're the type most likely to order wine for the whole group.
You seem to breeze through life on your intuition and wit. And no one seems to mind!
You're comfortable in any social situation you find yourself in, and you never feel outclassed.
And while you live a charmed life, you never let it go to your head. You are truly down to earth and a great friend.

Deep down you are: Balanced and mature

Your partying style: Surprisingly wild... when you let loose, you really let loose

Your company is enjoyed best with: Some greasy pizza


You Are 64% Paranoid Schizophrenic

You definitely have a chance of being a paranoid schizophrenic.
Crazy or not, you certainly don't have a good grip on reality!


You Are The Hermit

You posses a great deal of wisdom and the ability to see people for who they are.
You are always looking ahead at the future, developing visions.
A loner, you tend to travel by yourself through life, seeking your own truth.
You don't crave material things or fancy titles. You have no baggage.

Your fortune:

It's possible that there is a unknown guiding figure in your life, ready to help you.
All you have to do is find this person and seek their advice.
It's also possible that you need to start seeking the meaning of your own life.
Either way, there's some deep thinking you need to undertake, and it needs to be done soon.


You Are 10% Extrovert, 90% Introvert

You avoid people at all costs
You aren't one for social interaction
And you limit your interaction to a select few
Thank God for self checkout!


You Are 60% Politically Radical

You've got some radical viewpoints, but you aren't completely nuts. You're more of a visionary than a radical.


Your Love is Based on Commitment

You believe that love is something that develops and grows.
You don't believe in love at first site, and you never mistake lust for love.
For you, love is about mutual devotion, respect, and understanding.
You don't feel comfortable in a relationship, unless you're both in it for the long run.

Why your love can last: You don't take commitment lightly - or leave relationships easily

Why your love can fail: You're so committed, you often can't see the most obvious problems in your relationship


Your Depression Level: 48%

You seem to have mild depression.
A lot of people fall into your range, and it's quite possible you don't need treatment.
If you've been feeling this way for a while, you may want to seek help.


You Are More Cutthroat Than You Think

Yes, you do have that killer instinct lurking in you.
And while you may not be actually cutting throats anytime soon...
You certainly don't mind clawing your way to the top.


Your Inner Blood Type is Type A

You seem cool and collected, though a bit shy.
You are highly driven and a perfectionist, but that's a side you keep to yourself.
Creative and artistic, you are a very unique person who doesn't quite fit in.
People accept you more than you realize, seeing you as trustworthy and loyal.

You are most compatible with: A and AB

Famous Type A's: Britney Spears and Hilter


You Can Make 60% of Your Crushes Fall in Love With You

You certainly have this dating thing down - and you know how to charm most people.
And when your charm seems broken, just think back to what has worked in the past.
You have the tools to make almost anyone fall in love with you - you just have to put them into action.


You Are 72% Evil

You are very evil. And you're too evil to care.
Those who love you probably also fear you. A lot.


You are a Self-Discoverer

You're not religious, but you've created your own kind of spirituality.
Introspective and thoughtful, you tend to look inward for the divine.
You are distrusting of all forms of organized religion.
You especially dislike religious gurus and leaders, who you feel are charlatans.


You Would Choose Love

Money may buy a little happiness, but not the happiness of true love.
You rather have a true soulmate than a private jet.
And while many people may claim they would choose love too...
You're one of the few who would really do it.


You Are a Snarky Blogger!

You've got a razor sharp wit that bloggers are secretly scared of.
And that's why they read your posts as often as they can!


Your Dominant Intelligence is Linguistic Intelligence

You are excellent with words and language. You explain yourself well.
An elegant speaker, you can converse well with anyone on the fly.
You are also good at remembering information and convicing someone of your point of view.
A master of creative phrasing and unique words, you enjoy expanding your vocabulary.

You would make a fantastic poet, journalist, writer, teacher, lawyer, politician, or translator.


Your Career Type: Artistic

You are expressive, original, and independent.
Your talents lie in your artistic abilities: creative writing, drama, crafts, music, or art.

You would make an excellent:

Actor - Art Teacher - Book Editor
Clothes Designer - Comedian - Composer
Dancer - DJ - Graphic Designer
Illustrator - Musician - Sculptor

The worst career options for your are conventional careers, like bank teller or secretary.


You Are a Great Liar

You can pretty much pull anything over on anyone.
You are an expert liar, even if you don't lie very often.


Some of these are right, some of these are wrong. Or at least I think they're wrong. I was bored and I didn't feel like doing any work for a few hours, go figure.

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

The Other Side Of The Coin

[begin disturbingly accurate Yoda impersonation]
A funny thing, time is.

Funnier than time, money is.

Funnier than money and time combined, nothing is.
[end disturbingly accurate Yoda impersonation]

Random Note: yes, I do have a disturbingly accurate vocal impersonation of Yoda. Don't ask how I got it.

I've noted before that my current job affords me quite a bit more pocket money than my last one. For one thing, I haven't managed to burn through even half of my last paycheck, which hasn't happened to me since my last call center job, at Ambergris. However, that may also be affected by the fact that I don't have the time to actually spend the damn cash.

Or rather, I don't have the time to go to the places where I can spend the damn cash.

Indulge me a little here, folks.

I'm an anime fan. Sure, my periods of interest have been on and off over the years, but I've always been willing to return to the fold whenever I see a show that I think is worth my time. I've ranted before on how rare it is to find good anime nowadays, what with so much crap out there like Naruto and Bleach. Still, there are little gems and sleeper hits that really catch my eye as being a worthy investment of my time and money. Examples include Maria-sama ga Miteru (which had a local airing that got canceled because the Philippine anime community is composed of Narutards who have no taste in anime whatsoever), School Days, Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuutsu, and, I realized recently, Lucky Star.

Opening video for Lucky Star shown here:


Now, as I said, I have the cash to indulge my particular habit. I can probably grab that boxset of Ranma 1/2 (hate that show) or Fate/Stay Night (love the game, not that big a fan of the anime version) if I damn well wanted to. Or better yet, grab a boxset of the seasons and OVA of Maria-sama ga Miteru (and satisfy my odd desire to see Shimako-brand moe) at last! However, something's in my way.

Time.

My current office is located far, far away from any Comic Alley branch (that I'm aware of) and there isn't a reliable stall in the area that sells pirated anime DVDs. Well, not the DVDs I'm looking for, at least. Since the anime I seek isn't the kind that gets a lot of publicity, they're not that easy to find. You try looking for a DVD of Maria-sama ga Miteru in the usual places (Quiapo, St. Francis Square, Makati Cinema Square, 168 Mall, etc.) and see how well you do. In most cases, I have no choice but to wait and see if I'll ever find it. In theory, I do have the software and the Internet connection to rip the videos off YouTube, but video quality suffers and, like what happened with School Days, I don't want to have to open up movie editing software to put the parts of an episode together. Not to mention the process would take too damn long.

For now, I haven't found a way to alleviate the problem yet. I guess I should be thankful that most of the anime I like have alternative ways for me to get my hands on them. Still, the fact that not a single DVD has been added to my humble collection since I started working in Ascend Asia alarms me. I always add at least one DVD to my collection. That's been a tradition since I started working. I'm afraid I'll lose touch, which disturbs me to no end.

So for now, I talk myself into being content with little clips from the anime I like. I'm particularly fond of the fake bloopers from the Maria-sama ga Miteru DVDs, as they're funny and almost entirely out of character. Almost.

Here's some of my favorites:










But this, among all the clips, is my favorite:


And just for kicks:






Which Maria-sama ga Miteru girl are you most like?




You are Shimako!
Take this quiz!








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Monday, October 22, 2007

Minor, Minor Change

First off, I decided to tweak the color scheme a little. It now sort of reminds me of an overly long MS Word document or something similar, which isn't too bad for me. As for my readers, considering the fact that nobody really bothers to read this stuff, I don't think I have to worry too much about that. Anyway, I think it is a good change.

I was tempted to do an entry based on the events from last Friday. However, by now, the whole thing is really old news and it would be rather pointless to speculate on it now. I mean, the timing and the location are both rather poorly planned out of it was a terrorist attack. I mean, if you're trying to actually terrorize people, you time it so that it is closer to Christmas time. That way, even the classy, high-class malls are packed with last-minute shoppers. Plus, if you're trying to maximize the effect, you go for one of the more tightly-packed malls, like SM North Edsa or SM MegaMall. More people, higher body count, more psychological and sociological impact. As it is, this can only either be an incredibly elaborate case of bad luck on the mall's part, or politically timed. Which do I think it is? Well, considering the fact that I don't keep up with local politics much, I honestly can't say.

On a random note, I actually walked right into the mall in question earlier this morning. I tried to get as close as I could to the blast area to observe things, get a feel for the place. If nothing else, I wanted to revel in the general chaos and whatever afterimages of death and destruction were present. The place was pretty empty when I walked through, but it was still early and not many people go there so soon after opening hours. I wanted to see what was left of the blast area, look at it for myself and smile. However, that didn't happen because they decided to (logically) block off the damaged areas. Probably waiting for the investigation to end before they start repairs, which could equal to a lot of lost revenue. Besides, I hear rescue efforts are still on-going, but they've moved the operations to recovering the dead, rather than search-and-rescue.

Oh well. I'm still playing through BGII, though I've installed a few mods to spice things up. I'm not sure if I should start playing through Classic Adventures yet. I'm thinking it best for me to wait, or at least not start with the total conversion until I finish my 3 current games.

Thursday, October 18, 2007

Yes. Yes. I Know Already.

I know I really ought to stop posting so damn often (if only because it makes it so damn hard for my non-existent readers to actually catch up), but there are just some days when the good stuff is too hard to pass up.

Let me start out with this:

What is your Alignment?
created with QuizFarm.com
You scored as Lawful Evil

A Lawful Evil person is someone who respects laws, customs, or traditions, but will try to bend them to suit their own needs. These people have little concern for others they hurt, being intrinsically self motivated. Despite this, they value order and obedience to authority.

Lawful Evil

75%

Chaotic Good

75%

Chaotic Evil

70%

True Neutral

70%

Neutral Evil

70%

Neutral Good

55%

Lawful Good

55%

Lawful Neutral

40%

Chaotic Neutral

30%


It's frightfully accurate, methinks.

This one is just weird.

Officials in Mexico City are investigating a suspected serial killer eating parts of his victims, after police arrested an unknown horror-story writer who allegedly dismembered his girlfriend to eat her, authorities said Thursday.


Here's one more reason to drink:

Australian doctors have kept an Italian tourist alive by feeding him vodka through a drip for three days, medical staff in Queensland say.

The 24-year-old man, who had swallowed a poison in an apparent suicide attempt, was treated while in a coma.


And finally, this guy is just damn impressive:

EMEK HEFER, Israel - With eight wives and 67 children, Shahadeh Abu Arrar has given new meaning to the term “family man.”

Abu Arrar, 58, is a member of Israel’s impoverished Bedouin Arab community. But even in a traditional nomadic society where men commonly have several wives and many children, Abu Arrar is exceptional.

“I’m thinking about a new wife, No. 9,” he told the Israeli daily Yediot Ahronot in a recent interview. “There are many women who wish to marry me and there is no lack of women. I never had a problem with such things.”

Abu Arrar, whose oldest child is 37, was photographed by the newspaper in a long Bedouin robe and head cover, surrounded by a dozen of so of his kids.

During a visit to his multistory home in central Israel, The Associated Press spotted 17 of the children milling about, dressed in bright red, blue and green-embroidered Palestinian dresses and headscarves. Four veiled women, including two who said they were his wives, sat on the porch peeling vegetables.

Abu Arrar refused to talk to an AP reporter.

Bedouin society allows polygamy
While Islam allows Muslim men to have four co-wives, it is a custom in Bedouin society to flout the already-generous ruling — and an Israeli ban on polygamy — by marrying women one at a time, divorcing them and marrying others, experts on Bedouin culture said.

Culturally, it’s understood that the renounced wives are still married to Abu Arrar, the experts said.

It’s unclear how Abu Arrar supports his massive family. Camels, goats and a cow were grazing on his property. Yediot said he also receives about $1,700 in government handouts each month.

According to the Israeli Interior Ministry, Abu Arrar has 53 children registered as Israeli citizens. He has 14 other children born to Palestinian wives in the West Bank and who are not eligible for Israeli citizenship, his other wives said.

Either way, his family size pales in comparison to the size of the average Israeli family: 2.3, according to the Israeli Central Bureau of Statistics.

Splits time among wives
Abu Arrar claims to remember all his children’s names, and says they are split almost evenly between boys and girls. And he’s still going strong.

“My first wife is my age, and today I hardly spend any time with her. Her children are big, and I leave her alone. I have younger wives to spend time with. Every night I decide which wife to be with,” Abu Arrar told the newspaper.

Activists said Abu Arrar’s story showed the urgency of raising literacy and education among Bedouin women. Many are pressured into marriage or feel they have no other options beside raising children, said Khadra al-Sani, director of Sidra, a Bedouin women’s rights group.

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Developments In The Office

I'm not normal. Anyone and everyone who's bothered to read this blog (and my other blog, to an extent) would know and understand that. I'm a mortal relativist. I'm adamantly opposed to any and all forms of organized doctrine and religion. I'm an avid supporter of finding a workable alternative to the idiocy that is democracy. I believe in achieving a higher state of being by inflicting pain, whether on myself or on others. I have problems with authority if I get even the slightest hint that they're incompetent simians who have no idea what they're doing or how they're supposed to do it. I believe in exercising violence when needed and torture whenever possible. In short, I've got a few screws loose, to say the least.

I've talked about doing various violent things to various stupid people before. Doing so holds a two-fold purpose. One, it lets me get out all my frustrations and my issues with said people before it wells up to the point where it becomes perfectly reasonable to bring a handgun and a melee weapon (preferably a sword or something) to work and start cleaning the place out. On most days, such impulses are well-contained and are used to fuel the malignant little voice in my head that represents the darker side present in every human being. It also allows me to keep my creative skills from becoming dull and useless, which is something I desperately need to prevent if I'm going to stay in this line of work. Let's face it, the way things are with me and my work, I need to find ways to keep myself creative or I'll drown.

I find it actually rather funny that this is the second time one of my blogs has gotten me into a bit of controversy. Albeit this instance is different for a variety of reasons.

For one thing, the last time this sort of thing happened, I had a deeply-rooted respect for my immediate supervisors, team leaders, and editors. That time, I lacked respect for the person who was calling the shots from his high-horse. This instance? I still respect my editor, but my immediate supervisor? Well, to be honest, the others are more capable of pointing out her management flaws and are less tolerant, if only because I've lived through worse. My issue with her lies in her inherent idiocy. She seems utterly incapable of putting together even one cohesive article without the need for someone else to re-work the damn thing into something even remotely readable.

Another difference here lies in what sort of trouble I've gotten myself into, if I really have gotten myself into any.

In the first instance, the trouble didn't really last. I was gone from the company soon after, which was fine by me. They made up some ridiculous reason that no sane employee of the office really bought into. This was because I spoke the truth. Well, not really. To be honest, it wasn't even really an opinion to begin with. It was a series of counter-points to an e-mail that the boss sent us, likely in an effort to boost morale or quality or somesuch. Unfortunately for him, people either didn't read it (a shame, really, because Steve Pavlina is very good at what he does) or thought as I did: it was little more than his hypocrisy at work, not to mention his belief that he can pull the wool over the eyes of everyone in his company. I merely countered it point for point not on the merits of the work itself, but on the delusion that the words it contained actually applied to the nature of my work at Intelligraph.

They hated me for it because of two reasons (again!). First, I exposed their hypocrisy right then and there. They have this little habit of sending out motivational e-mails, never citing where they came from. Most of us didn't bother to really read them, but I often took the time to analyze them. More often than not, I found that they couldn't have written any of the things they were sending, but I admit I admired their ability to cover their tracks. Without knowing about their sources, I couldn't trace the original authors. Until they made that fateful mistake. They left in the URL to their source. That was proof enough for me, as they simply copypasta'd the damn thing from the site to the e-mail. Even if they did take out some of it, the fact that they neglected to remove mention of Steve Pavlina's site was a stupid, amateurish mistake. I capitalized.

This second instance, on the other hand, is more closely tied to the fact that I've come to embrace various aspects of my personality that can be branded 'insane' by most standards. I've been described as sadistic, as cruel, as psychotic, as sociopathic, and a whole range of similar adjectives that normal people don't want to be associated with. And for the most part, I enjoy it. I enjoy the fact that my interests and tastes often give other people the chills. I enjoy the fact that my blissful enjoyment of films like Battle Royale and Audition puts even horror movie veterans at a bit of unease. I'm not one to socialize and I'm not that fond of other people, despite the fact that I can work well enough with them. Just don't expect me to socialize outside of the work environment, where I need to do so. But some people tend to reach out to loners, for reasons I fail to understand. So I cultivate fear. It isn't true horror, the kind that brings nightmares to people. But it works for my purpose, which is to keep people from getting too close.

Of course, my sadistic tendencies (particularly when I'm angry or when I'm writing) can easily be misinterpreted. Due to some recent news, I'm starting to think my immediate supervisor believes I'm out to kill her. Frankly, the thought did cross my mind, but I realized it wouldn't have been very satisfying. No, a true Devil would exact a more long-term campaign. Destroy the finances, the mind, and the emotions. Only then would a true Devil enact the brutish, puerile act of physical torment. In other words, I'd rather see my enemies ruined from the top down first before I bring out any of my little friends. But those sorts of campaigns tend to be expensive and, frankly, I haven't the energy in me to plan another one of those right now.

Despite the fact that I try to detach myself from the office grapevine whenever possible, it becomes rather inevitable that I end up catching wind of some things. Like somebody sending a certain supervisor a picture of her being stabbed or something. It could be an animated picture, my source wasn't entirely sure. Naturally, the target, having read Reckoning, has linked this to me and considers it a part of some twisted pattern. Please. As if I could actually animate. I can draw, but I hardly have the inclination, the tools, and the scanner. Besides, if I was going to do something of that sort, I'd be a lot more careful about it. For one thing, I'd be smart enough to do what needed to be done to make sure it never got to her. At least, not until the time was right.

Besides, this is hardly my style. If I wanted to force a confrontation, sending a picture would not have been my path to doing it. I would have done more than just write a simple short story designed to relieve my anger about it. I'd have written something utterly scathing, as I did with that dumbass owner of Intelligraph Corporation, Gene Cruz. I wouldn't even have bothered to cover it up with some silly pseudonym like "The Incompetence," though I did entertain the idea of using "Incompetent Simian" over the course of writing it. I'd have written about it, seeing as how I can't draw to save my life and I have no scanner.

You might be wondering what I intend to do about this. Simple. I intend to do nothing about it beyond this post. This sort of thing is something that happens in any office, anywhere. It just so happens that I'm crazy enough to admit to my more eccentric tastes and I can be brutally, brutally honest about my darker impulses and how incompetent (or not) I think someone is. So I'll ride this one out and see what I can discern from it. Besides, I do so enjoy observing the psychology of fear. That's it. I'm not going to do anything. I intend to carry on as I always do. Do my work, find ways to alleviate boredom when I'm done, play chess with one of the voices in my head, and enjoy myself when I get home. Nothing out of the ordinary for me.

If they want to run around like headless chickens, let them. Me? This is nothing.

I'll go home later, fire up my laptop, and play a little Baldur's Gate II. Maybe when I finish my save, I'll run through the Classic Adventures mod. Blush reminds me of a very dear, sadly departed friend of mine, so I'm sort of partial to her as my favorite NPC from CA.

Anyway, to lighten the mood:

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Gripe # 12: Excessive Observation

I'm starting to develop a deep-seated disapproval of a number of things going on in my current company. Granted, I've let some questionable things slip past me before, using the rationale that the division is a new one and the company isn't quite sure how to handle us yet, but this is getting ridiculous.

First off, there's no official or unofficial "support" structure in case the editor is not present. The man is responsible for a lot of things and, while there is a back-up system for editing our output in case he's gone (which includes me somewhere along the chain of command), there is no back-up structure for everything else. Oh, I'm sure it somehow ends up on the lap of a certain someone whose name I will not mention for purposes of plausible deniability, but said person is clearly, clearly unable to handle that. The person can barely handle the daily workload supposed to be done, let alone someone else's!

Another thing I have noticed and that I do not like is the fact that there is no clear definition of what exactly is our division supposed to be doing. Yes, we're labeled "Web Content Writers," but that's not exactly the only thing we're doing. The "special projects" that come our way all have an odd habit of going just that step outside of what you'd expect a web content writer's job to include. Everything, from making sure a website meets the registration requirements of some sort of directory to coming up with possible URLs that the web design division can use (complete with silly one-liner marketing taglines that ought to be handled by a completely separate department) has been assigned to us. We've even been asked to fix the screw-ups in the content of existing sites, mainly because all the content for new sites are copy-pasted from older sites owned by the client.

Is it wrong for me to ask that we have a concrete, single job description? One that clearly defines what the division can and cannot be assigned to do? Is it so wrong to ask that they stop heaping projects on us that are better handled by completely separate divisions? Is it so wrong to ask that if we're going to be assigned to write the content of some silly webcam consultation website that it go through us first, so the site is top-quality from the get-go, saving the company a lot of time and the employees a lot of effort? Is it so fucking wrong to ask for detailed instructions when the project is time-sensitive (given 2 hours before the deadline and the project needs at least a day to be completed) and needs to be perfect the first time around?

And I am not a god-damned spin doctor. I did not sign on for this boat to do company marketing or damage control because some agent from the call center division got pissed and started bitching about the work conditions on the Internet. People do that all the time and I believe they have every right to do that, even on a public forum that their employers can read. It is their opinion and sending out an undermanned writing division to go out and spin doctor it is just bad form on the company's part. The fact that I have to do it just hurts me on a personal level, given that I'm the type who likes to opine about my complaints at how employers treat their employees, though my subtlety in that regard has been...declining.

A minor, minor concern for me is just how often the HR people lose my god-damn ID. How many 1x1 pictures have I actually had to give for that stupid thing? And how many times have I asked for them to give it to me? For the love of the Kings of the Ten Thousand Hells, it's a simple, fucking ID. How hard can it be to take a picture, fill up some sort of card thing, laminate it, and had it over to your employee? Is it really that hard to know where somebody's damn ID is? Or at least be able to know whether or not said employee has even been given his damn ID? If I didn't say anything, they would not have known that I still didn't have it yet.

To be utterly and brutally honest once again, I am starting to sense some truly rotten things about what's going on in this company. Truly rotten. About as rotten as what happened in the "state of Denmark," to blatantly steal from Shakespeare. But I'll give myself some more time, try to see where all of this is going. Like the predictions that the Nintendo Wii was doomed to catastrophic failure, I may be wrong about my current predictions. We'll see.

For now, I go back to playing Baldur's Gate II. At one point or another, I'm going to have to get around to installing and playing the Classic Adventures mod.

Thursday, October 04, 2007

Work Bores Me.

I don't recall the last time I was in a job that bored me so quickly. Sure, the days seem to float by faster than any other job I've had before, but when taking things day-by-day, they all seem to have this slow pace about them that's driving me nuts.

I honestly dislike having absolutely nothing to do for several hours and not be allowed to just sleep said hours away. I try to write stuff for Kanaverse or for Darkness & Stars (finally on Chapter 24, mind you!) when my required work is done and I settle into a restful state, but that only gets me through so many hours. Eventually, my mind tends to latch on to other things to keep it occupied, not the least of which is randomly reading articles on Wikipedia. For the time being, my employer's unwillingness to open up the chance for writers to go home once they've fulfilled their quota irks me a little, but it is something I can deal with. If nothing else, the long hours of nothingness tend to make me think about my own habits.

I've realized that I tend to write my best fiction at certain times of the day, but I get my most creative during those precious hours before I go to sleep and for the first few hours or so after lunch. Odd, that.

In other news, I've been reading up on my Kindred of the East. It has given me an interesting idea to work with, but I'm not entirely sure how far I can take the concept. It does strike me as a bit odd that no vampire-themed fiction has come into the market that takes the concept of a vampire and gives it a thoroughly Chinese or Japanese (or any other Asian country, for that matter) spin. I think I ought to give it a kick.

To close this, a video from YouTube:

Monday, October 01, 2007

A Little Too Thin...

Running through scenarios and ideas in my head is something of a necessity for me. In the same way that most sharks have to keep swimming or drown, I can't stop writing (in my head, at least) for fear of being rendered unable to do so for an extended period. I realized that the hard way, going into a prolonged state of writer's block after Yuki's Diary (PDF download, mates), although I'm not entirely sure whether to count the production of Akatsuki and the period after that as part of the slump. However, there is a slight, slight problem with this system.

I'm afraid that I'm spreading my mind a little too thin.

I have to write for work. It isn't as easy as it sounds, mind you. There's a lot of pressure to work on things and the fact that the limited number of categories I can play around in makes it harder and harder to write about it. I don't know how far off that time is, but I'm worried that time will come when I'll have squeezed my head dry of every idea I can come up with for the nature and limitations of the job, much like a similar time back in Intellicrap. Yes, I know I was supposed to eventually come around to detailing how that happened, but I can't be bothered to do so right now, as it would screw up my already screwed-up timetable.

Besides work, there's the VIII of Swords (you know, what you're reading right now) and Kanaverse blogs. These two little beauties pose an entirely different challenge for me. I can write whatever I damn well want, whenever I damn well want, however I damn well want. In theory. There are certain people that are aware of how to find my blog and I'd rather not give said people a clear reason to despise me more than they already do. And no, I'm not talking about Panda-man from Intellicrap. No, the individual I speak of now is someone more recent, but no less despicable. Aside from that, I find that blog maintenance has been difficult for me lately. I simply feel like I've got very few ideas worth writing into this specific blog. As for good old Kanaverse, I have far too many ideas. Too many possible stories and ways to go about them. It overwhelms me because I honestly have difficulty focusing on any one project long enough to get a working story out of it. Even vignettes are becoming more and more elusive to me.

Maybe I'm just trying to write too many things at once? Of course, if that's the case, the expedient solution would be to drop one aspect of my current writing system. The problem lies in what can be dropped. I can't drop what I do for a living, for obvious reasons. I don't want to drop either of my blogs, although letting Kanaverse sit still for a bit seems like a sensible move for the time being. However, that brings me to the problem of being unable to write due to letting my creative faculties go too far into rest mode. I certainly can't shift any more focus from Darkness & Stars, as it is already going slow enough as it is. So that puts me right back at the proverbial square one.

How do the damn Thousand Whispers do it?

Heh, guess this explains why I feel more attuned to being a Devil Tiger.