You Yet Live?

What can change the nature of a man?

I personally think it is quite a good question. But we are not going to attempt to answer that for now. That is way too complex an issue to get into right now. For now, I am going to rant and whine about my work and other little things that are quite insignificant to other people.

First things first. Work is not my thing, as I am rapidly finding out. I really am just not quite suited for this sales thing. I lack the “sales drive” needed to push (or nudge or bamboozle, whatever) people over the proverbial edge and hook a sale. Sure, there are easy sales out there and the pleasure of getting a caller that knows what he/she wants and isn’t going to beat around the bush is great but they’re a rare breed. Most of the time, the idiots tend to be price-shopping or (more often than not) are incapable of performing the menial task of actually making the purchase on their own!

A lot of callers are damn bloody fools. They are wholly incapable of understanding even the simplest lines of reasoning or contemplating just how idiotic they are when quoting a competitor’s price that isn’t just out-dated, it also tends to be erroneous as well. These people can’t seem to really see what’s right in front of them.

Of course, I’m not particularly leaning towards the sales side of things myself. I just don’t have it in me to push someone to buy something that they either don’t want or that even I wouldn’t buy given the circumstances. If they don’t want something, why push them? Even if we’re not doing any hard-selling, I get on my own nerves just making a single attempt at obtaining a sale.

Main complaint of mine, work-wise, is that I don’t particularly see the point of my work when they can do it themselves on-line. I also can’t really grasp the reasoning of why we’re using the client’s website as our main system. It poses such a huge risk in a worst-case scenario. What if the server crashes? That means that we are screwed. There appears to be no clear line of reasoning as to why we are limited to such a system.

Now, my co-workers are fine since most of them were not my co-trainees. The few co-trainees of mine that are on my team I get along quite well with. It is pleasant for me to be able to listen to those agents that have been there longer and pick up tips from them while they also pick up tips and trivia (on some tech stuff) from me. I won’t say that we’re at all close but we get along well enough and I feel I can befriend them over time.

Moving on then.

I’ve come to terms with some personal matters. I’ve decided to get back to writing again but unlike previous projects, I don’t plan on spreading this one out for anyone to read. This one is a strictly personal project, one that I’ve never actually thought of before, nor have I ever wanted to cook up something like it. I don’t have any hopes for it, nor do I have any delusions that it will be fit for public reading if and when it is completed. All I know is that there’s a chance that it might be something I can find some moderate degree of comfort and escapism in writing. Too much reality in all my recent attempts, too much of what’s really around me instead of what I want to have around me or some such.

For those of you who are interested to know, it’s supposed to have a heavy martial-arts feel to it. Inspired by Tekken 5 as it is, I actually don’t know enough about the countless variants of martial arts in the world to write them accurately or properly, so I’ll stick with the lies and fabrications that I know so well and create new styles as necessary and rely on wikipedia and other resources for those times when I do need to use a real martial art.

I’ve been reading a lot more lately. Recently finished some interesting books I found off the internet, along with Thomas Harris’ Hannibal and I also re-read Anne Rice’s Belinda. I’ve been looking to buy more of Murakami’s books, burning Rowling’s books and digging into some of the older pieces in my collection. Books and writing seem to be the only things that give me some level of satisfaction nowadays, aside from competing in Tekken 5 and Soul Calibur 2 games at the local arcade every so often. Aside from that, I only seem to find some semblance of solace and enjoyment in knowing that…no, actually, I don’t.

Not that such a state of mind is much of a change for me, mind you.