And though I had slain a thousand foes less one,
The thousandth knife found my liver;
The thousandth enemy said to me,
'Now you shall die,
Now none shall know.'
And the fool, looking down, believed this,
Not seeing, above his shoulders, the naked stars,
Each one remembering.
--John M. Ford, The Final Reflection

The Asylum Director

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"The only thing I was fit for was to be a writer, and this rested solely on my suspicion that I would never be fit for real work, and that writing didn't require any." - Russel Baker

Friday, August 19, 2005

Moving On With Life

“All hope renounce, ye lost, who enter here…”

I swear, a sign with those words should be placed on top of the door to That Place. Today be Judgment Day once more for those who survived the first elimination round. I dare say it’s going to get harder from here on end for them and while I’d like to say I can feel that they’ll all somehow make it through to the end, I can’t. Along the way, their numbers will be cut down and those found not good enough cast out into the biting cold. Nevertheless, the ones of Wave 3.3 that made it are nothing it not survivors. They’ll make it. Of the lot of them, I feel assured of four specific people who’ll stick it out to the end: Natski, Rami, Nestor and Thea. Of the others, I am in varying degrees of certainty and uncertainty. A risky thing I am doing, speaking out like this. Still, it’s a free country and I can saw (for the most part) what I like.

Good luck today to Wave 3.3! Even though I’d love to see all of you again, I hope not to see any of you at HR signing your clearances or getting your separation pay. That won’t be a good thing.

Anyway, on to more pleasant things.

Project updates first, then. Because, truth be told, my mind is about as fickle and as unpredictable as the weather on this matter. What I’m writing and determined to finish one moment is different from the next.

The Da Benjie Code – work in progress. Stuck at about 8 pages, cover page included. This little deranged guide to life is coming along nicely enough. Just enough good sense in it to make it a worthwhile read, just enough of the WTF factor to derive any level of seriousness from it. Add a touch of what I call Wonka-logic and you’ve got yourself the most complex in-joke Wave 3.3 will ever have and something outsiders likely won’t get.

A Vampire Named Constance – blame Vampire: The Masquerade and Vampire: The Requiem (the tabletop RPG versions) for this one. Still in the early stages, I haven’t fully finished creating the characters – not even the lead, Constance – nor am I satisfied with the fictional city of Charity I’ve set up as their stage. The idea has intrigued me enough to work on it for some foreseeable amount of time which, judging from projects past, is a good thing.

Angel of Temptation – a re-working, re-tooling and expanding of my old short story. It always did deserve a better treatment than I gave it. Still quite early on in the planning stages, I’m debating with myself whether to focus my attention on the choice made at the end by Marcus (which, coincidentally, I never really wrote nor decided upon) or at the traumatic existence lived by Nicolette. For the time being, this is lurking in my head. As soon as I finish either of the above projects (or abandon them, as the case may be) I’ll start drafting for this one.

Now, onto my work prospects.

Applied to BiometriX, Ambergris, Peoples Support and Lufthansa. That makes it 3 call centers, 1 airline. Someone referred me to Daksh as well and they’ve at least called for a phone interview. I think I stand a decent chance of making it in there, though I’d prefer Lufthansa or Ambergris. I don’t know why either, so don’t ask. If I’m desperate enough, I’ll apply to Convergys (again) despite my friend Thea’s counsel against it. I suppose I could try and pass off one of my finished works as a novel, try to get it published but there’s no money in that apart from the initial check. It’s a 5 year wait for most and I don’t have 5 years to wait. Theoretically, I could write for a newspaper or magazine or something but articles were never my forte. I need to find work and fast. Though my morale isn’t what it was before, I’m moving on now. I just want to get the money as soon as possible.

What’s next? My gaming?

That’s a rather empty scene at the moment. Re-finished Final Fantasy VIII for the PC. Halfway through Final Fantasy Tactics Advance on a GBA emulator. Considering starting another Baldur’s Gate II save, not quite sure what class to use though but I’m fairly certain I’ll be of the evil persuasion. Probably give myself another go-through in Vampire: The Masquerade, Bloodlines as a Tremere or Toreador. I didn’t feel as pleased as I thought I’d be playing a slightly psychotic Malkavian the first time around.

Still teaching myself Ren’Py to try and create a Visual Novel of my own even though I can’t draw to save my life. The ADRIFT engine is far simpler to use for a strictly text-based thing but the free version is too limited. I’d delve into Tsuruku but it’s in Japanese and I can’t understand a word of it.

And don’t even ask about my personal life because, frankly, it barely exists anymore.

Ah well. Until next time, kiddies. Remember…

Big Brother is watching you.

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