I seem to be having troubles of an unknown nature lately.
I can’t put my finger on it and I can’t really figure out why but I have a distinct feeling that something is very, very wrong. It feels like I’ve somehow gotten myself involved in something I shouldn’t have had. I don’t know why but something just doesn’t feel right at all. Ever had that feeling?
No, I’m not talking about that sinking feeling you get when something is about to go wrong. I’m talking about feeling as if something is wrong but you have no idea what’s wrong or why. From all indications, there isn’t anything wrong. I’ve got a job, I’m working on another project, H2GC2 is going slowly but well and I’ve got my games. I haven’t had it this good in a long, long time. So what the Hell could be wrong?
Beats me, I haven’t the foggiest.
And that’s what bothers me. Why don’t I know what’s wrong? I normally do and that helps me out a lot but now that I don’t, I feel a bit unsettled. I like knowing things. I like having some degree of control over how my head works. But if I don’t know what’s wrong with something, that makes me lose a bit of control. I hate it when that happens. This doesn’t happen to me very often but when it does, I tend to really let it get on my god-damned nerves. It disrupts how I think, how I create.
In any case, I don’t think I’ll be putting up anything new until I figure out what the Hell is wrong and why. I’ll still work and I’ll still write my current pet project but as for the blog, I think I’ll be silent for a while. Not that it matters. Nobody reads this anyway.
On another note, I know I’m damned late but I’ve only recently discovered the twisted wonders of CLAMP’s xxxHOLiC and the sweetly magnificent The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya. Both have given me a warped little idea…
The Asylum Director
- VIIIofSwords
- "The only thing I was fit for was to be a writer, and this rested solely on my suspicion that I would never be fit for real work, and that writing didn't require any." - Russel Baker
Saturday, September 30, 2006
Monday, September 25, 2006
Nothing New To Report
See above. Just thought I'd put down that the project H2GC2 has been cancelled. There are better resources for potential call center applicants out there already. However, maybe a turn more in the direction of H2G2 is in order...hmm...
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
Place-Holder (Edit: EduNara Warning)
"Champions aren't made in gyms. Champions are made from something they have deep inside them: A desire, a dream, a vision. They have to have last-minute stamina, they have to be a little faster, they have to have the skill and the will. But the will must be stronger than the skill."
- Muhammad Ali
Note: Quote will likely be removed when the real post is put up.
Note 2: Normally, I wouldn't bother with something like this but...
[Quote] Hi... I was quite intrigued by your entry since I was looking for some background info on Edunara. I am currently working as a call center supervisor for a US company based in Makati and was planning to make a career move by teaching instead. I came across an ad in jobstreet for English Online Teachers and that's when I began to google Edunara.
Your instinct tells you that there is something weird or not right about them, can you expound on this? I am planning to dropby on Friday and pass my resume. I would appreciate some early warning advice though...[/Quote]
I'd like to begin by telling you that if you sign up there from a call center supervisor job, you're essentially cutting your finances in half or less. I was an agent and what they offered me as allowance during training (you see, you don't get "paid" until you hit the floor) isn't even close to what I earned. That's without night differential computed in the mix. From what I understood of the workload, you'll be doing twice what the typical customer service agent does. If money is even at all a consideration for you, don't go. Stay where you are.
Beyond that, there's daily eliminations. And I mean daily. Now, if you're working in a call center, you shouldn't have a problem with the requirements of being able to think-on-your-feet or with the English grammar and syntax but they'll nail you on pace. They seem highly particular about how fast you talk. I normally don't have a problem with this but when they ask you to slow down to a snail's pace. I felt as if they were asking me to dumb down or something. Maybe it won't for you but I got the impression that they were insulting my intelligence.
Something I felt highly suspicious about was the atmosphere of the place. I can't pin it down but something was very, very wrong about the place. This is one of those things you're better off seeing for yourself. I only lasted a day's worth of training before I decided it wasn't the right place for me. Apparently, I came to that conclusion a little late since most of my co-workers (and, rumor is, one supervisor) turned it down right after the orientation.
Again, I don't know if this'll be a factor for you but the work environment is drastically different. There's a stricness in the hierarchy to the point that they actually give you a list of titles to use when addressing specific ranks/superiors. Your calls to your students are tightly scheduled and if you're even a minute late, they will complain. Then again, I got the impression that these Koreans will complain about damn near every little thing.
While I never actually signed a contract with them (they said they'd have us sign them if we pass the training), they did give us ample warning. Apparently, the "evictions" (as they called it) occur daily and even the slightest dip in your performance can get you the ax. No questions asked. Just leave.
If you're going there, I'm not going to stop you but be warned...from what I've seen on how they operate, I wouldn't go back there.
- Muhammad Ali
Note: Quote will likely be removed when the real post is put up.
Note 2: Normally, I wouldn't bother with something like this but...
[Quote] Hi... I was quite intrigued by your entry since I was looking for some background info on Edunara. I am currently working as a call center supervisor for a US company based in Makati and was planning to make a career move by teaching instead. I came across an ad in jobstreet for English Online Teachers and that's when I began to google Edunara.
Your instinct tells you that there is something weird or not right about them, can you expound on this? I am planning to dropby on Friday and pass my resume. I would appreciate some early warning advice though...[/Quote]
I'd like to begin by telling you that if you sign up there from a call center supervisor job, you're essentially cutting your finances in half or less. I was an agent and what they offered me as allowance during training (you see, you don't get "paid" until you hit the floor) isn't even close to what I earned. That's without night differential computed in the mix. From what I understood of the workload, you'll be doing twice what the typical customer service agent does. If money is even at all a consideration for you, don't go. Stay where you are.
Beyond that, there's daily eliminations. And I mean daily. Now, if you're working in a call center, you shouldn't have a problem with the requirements of being able to think-on-your-feet or with the English grammar and syntax but they'll nail you on pace. They seem highly particular about how fast you talk. I normally don't have a problem with this but when they ask you to slow down to a snail's pace. I felt as if they were asking me to dumb down or something. Maybe it won't for you but I got the impression that they were insulting my intelligence.
Something I felt highly suspicious about was the atmosphere of the place. I can't pin it down but something was very, very wrong about the place. This is one of those things you're better off seeing for yourself. I only lasted a day's worth of training before I decided it wasn't the right place for me. Apparently, I came to that conclusion a little late since most of my co-workers (and, rumor is, one supervisor) turned it down right after the orientation.
Again, I don't know if this'll be a factor for you but the work environment is drastically different. There's a stricness in the hierarchy to the point that they actually give you a list of titles to use when addressing specific ranks/superiors. Your calls to your students are tightly scheduled and if you're even a minute late, they will complain. Then again, I got the impression that these Koreans will complain about damn near every little thing.
While I never actually signed a contract with them (they said they'd have us sign them if we pass the training), they did give us ample warning. Apparently, the "evictions" (as they called it) occur daily and even the slightest dip in your performance can get you the ax. No questions asked. Just leave.
If you're going there, I'm not going to stop you but be warned...from what I've seen on how they operate, I wouldn't go back there.
Friday, September 15, 2006
Top 10 Books
Well, as promised…my Top 10 favorite fiction books. As with my other Top 10 list, this is a temporary list. As I read more, books will be added and removed. I personally never saw the point of an ‘all-time’ list since, as new things are made, the list can be altered. This is true for films, video games, books and even something as mundane as shoes (if anyone ever bothered to make a Top 10 list for shoes). Sure, there will always be some that are rock-solid on the list such as Final Fantasy VII is for many console gamer’s list, stupid as that decision would be. But now I’m just ranting. On to the list!
Oh, I cannot help but mention this again: this is a list my current favorite fiction books.
10. The Bible (various authors): without a doubt, this book is both a magnificent piece of propaganda and a good work of fiction. Any idiot who actually believes this to be a religious book is…well, an idiot. I have to admit, I’m an opponent of religion in general and I save a particular distrust and dislike of the Catholic Church but this book is magnificent. It has everything. Sex, intrigue, violence, conflict. Certainly, there are a lot of things about it that are historically accurate but that doesn’t mean the book is actually a historical account. In the same way that the piece of garbage that is Dan Brown’s The Da Vinci Code is considered historical fiction, so is The Bible. It isn’t just historical fiction either. As previously mentioned, it is also the finest crafted piece of propaganda in human history, a cornerstone of the longest-running con in the world: Christianity! I’d like this more if it wasn’t constantly being claimed as a religious piece.
9. Belinda (Anne Rice): I love this book. This, for me, is Anne Rice before she turned back on her fans and on The Vampire Chronicles and The Lives of The Mayfair Witches. I don’t want to judge and if she wants to make the stupid decision of doing so for the purpose of joining some stupid religion, that’s her choice. Anyway, I personally think Anne Rice was at her best with this book. Belinda (the character, book) is, by far, the character I like most out of all of Rice’s creations, with the possible exception of Gabrielle De Lioncourt. She’s very endearing and, even though I have extreme difficulty relating to her on many levels, she isn’t what you’d expect after reading the summary at the back. The story itself if very sensual, very erotic but manages to avoid going into the trap that other erotic fiction falls into. I think, somewhere, it was realized that what’s implied and left to the imagination is far more sensual, more seductive than anything put into words on paper. It doesn’t hold the same scope or drama as, say, Queen of the Damned or Memnoch The Devil but it has a certain quality to it I find more appealing.
8. Sputnik Sweetheart (Haruki Murakami): Murakami is fast becoming my new favorite author. This is actually one of his shorter novels and the only one I’ve seen so far that has a female lead, a break from his usual mid-life crisis male salaryman leads. I actually relate to Sumire on a number of levels. I can easily see myself becoming almost a parody of her if I ever take my writing as seriously as she does. I can relate to her frustrations with her writing. She starts but seems unable to finish most of the time. I simply adore her personality and her many quirks since I actually found a lot of them in me. I also find little trouble relating to K, the narrator, because, like him, I know what it feels like to be just a friend to the girl you love. There’s a certain degree of electricity that gets me going when I read through the way the characters interact. I don’t know if this is just due to Murakami’s style, which differs from what I usually read, but I always have trouble putting his books down. I confess most of his fans find this book to be of lower quality than his others but I rather like it.
7. Dracula (Bram Stoker): the vampire novel, no questions asked. This is one of the finest examples of gothic horror there are. The atmosphere that Stoker creates, from the environs of Castle Dracula to the streets of London, is extraordinary. There is a sense of genuine terror whenever you read about an encounter with The Count in his numerous forms. It isn’t the vampire that got me interested in this book, it was the way things were presented. The Count is, in many ways, presented as an ultimate evil and is both a physically present villain and a representation of the darkness and corruption that human beings are capable of. There have been countless interpretations of this story, of this character but none have ever really managed to bring out the extraordinary mix of elegance, dominance, greed, lust and sheer presence that The Count exudes in the book.
6. The Phantom of The Opera (Gaston Leroux): without a doubt, the novel is significantly better than the musical. The Phantom is an incredible villain done with exquisite flair. As Dracula has that lord of the night sensibility to him, Erik exudes a sense of deseration, of loneliness and of inner powerlessness despite his dominance of the opera house that he haunts. He understands that society can never accept him and will always cast him away because of his deformities but in Christine Daae he sees a faint hope of finding some semblance of acceptance, of love. The Phantom longs for someone to end his loneliness, someone to share his world of endless night and infinite music with. In the end, isn’t the pursuit of love something so utterly human? I guess in a way, I think Erik was trying to seek a humanity he feels he lost or never had, through both his music and his pursuit of Christine. It isn’t the smartest idea in the world but it makes for a very sympathetic character, one that makes the novel quite memorable.
5. Carmilla (John Le Fanu): perhaps the inspiration for Bram Stoker’s Dracula, Carmilla is also the root of the stereotypical lesbian vampire. This is unusually short and at times, the style can be oddly fragmented but where it really shines is the way that Carmilla interacts with the narrator. There isn’t much of a grand mystery to it and she isn’t presented as being as cunning and as powerful an evil as The Count was but she has her own wicked charms. Like Dracula, Carmilla is slain at the end and like Dracula, her influence on the surviving characters can never be undone. Certainly, Dracula was scarier and was better written but one cannot help but be enamored by Carmilla’s rather dark charms. Also, I currently find the toned down sexual air of Carmilla to be more appealing than Dracula since so much vampire fiction has that sensuality and eroticism that it gets…boring. Here, there is definitely an attraction but I never got a sexual vibe out of it.
4. Memoirs of a Geisha (Arthur Golden): this book is excellent from every angle I look at it. There’s really noothing I can add to what people have already said about the book and I won’t even try. There’s so much beauty in this book that I can’t figure out how to even begin explaining why I like it so much. Everything is described in vivid detail but not to the point that it chokes the reader, stifles the imagination. All of the characters, from the greedy Mother to the cruel, insecure Hatsumomo to the lead, the sublime and beautiful Sayuri are interesting and endearing, each playing a part in the well-oiled machine that is the narrative of this story. The movie adaptation, like most movie adaptations, was a disappointment when compared to the book but that’s to be expected. This one deserves a place on the bookshelf of any lover of good fiction and any praises it has garnered are well-deserved.
3. The Lovely Bones (Alice Sebould): I can’t praise this book enough, I think. I initially thought it was some sort of horror story and, at the start, it does seem like one, with the narrator being dead and all. Yet, as I read on, I realized it wasn’t. I can’t really tell what genre this is. It isn’t a coming of age story since little Susie Salmon never gets the chance to do so. It isn’t a romance either though she does describe those relationships in the people she left behind. It isn’t horror and it isn’t a detective mystery since we know who did it to her; Susie herself reveals it to us pretty early on in the story. I honestly have no idea how to place this into a single category since it takes elements from a lot of things. All I know for sure is that it is an excellent story and it provides for an interesting perspective on how to narrate a story about people’s lives, which all too often are tainted by the narrator being part of the inside and not detached from it. It has an elegant simplicity that puts it above most other fiction today and I sincerely believe the longer things go, the more people will appreciate this book. Out of all the books in this list, The Lovely Bones is one of the two I think everyone should read at least once. This book deserves far more attention than it has gotten but we can thanks garbage like The Da Vinci Code and J.K. Rowling for that. Though, in a way, I’m thankful. A movie adaptation of this would be sorely disappointing anyway.
2. At The Mountains Of Madness (H.P. Lovecraft): one of the underlying themes of Lovecraft’s works is the insignificance of man and human concepts of morality. Yet, a main fixture of what has been added on to the so-called Cthulhu Mythos have been beings described as ‘gods’ when, in reality, this contradicts Lovecraft’s original ideas, his sort of anti-mythology. Perhaps in response to such, he wrote this piece and made clear that the Old Ones, the Elder Things and such were not divine beings but aliens with technology and biology far more advanced than our own. I’m not even sure what I like about this story, really. I enjoyed it when I first read it and I tend to agree with Lovecraft’s themes but I certainly don’t think this is his best work. The Dunwich Horror or maybe The Strange Case of Charles Dexter Ward have that honor. Still, I needed something that represented what the Mythos is all about and, for me, At The Mountains of Madness does a better job than the others.
1. The Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy (Douglas Adams): I think my feelings on this book are best summed up by this quote from the book itself: DON’T PANIC. This story makes for some very interesting reading, if nothing else. The degree of absurdity in his work varies but the talent in his work doesn’t. If you didn’t chuckle the first time you read the description of how Vogon bureaucracy works or the stupidity of the Ravenous Bug Blatter Beast of Traal, then you don’t have a sense of humor. Amidst all this insanity, he also managed to weave a good amount of sensibility into the work. That is most evident early on in the story. The good sense, the good humor and the unorthodox approach to handling fiction all make the so-called Hitchhikers “trilogy” a must-read and the first book in it even more so. Unlike most science fiction, there isn’t any overwhelming moral argument or philosophical discussion of this or that technology. It is simply a fun ride filled with chaos, comedy, absurdity and the presence of some of the strangest, most endearing characters this side of Magrathea. Where would we be without the answer ‘42’? People have to read this book, even if this is the only book they’ll ever read in their lives. After all, the book is harmless. Mostly harmless.
And that’s that for this list. I’ll do a Top 10 favorite TV shows or video game characters next time around. Anyway, I’ll add some updates to this entry as well.
In terms of gaming, I’ve encountered a few problems. My copy of Lunar 2: Eternal Blue is faulty. It suffers from horrible slowdown at random locations and it makes for a less than enjoyable experience. While I intend to lay it through to the end, unless the slowdown problems clear up soon, I won’t be playing it with the same frequency as say…Thousand Arms. I won’t abandon it though. I’ve always liked the original and I’m determined to finish the sequel. Besides that, I’ve also started playing another SoTN again, just for kicks. I won’t be playing it as religiously as I did before but I don’t think I’ll be burning out the CD due to excessive use. I still haven’t found a working copy of LoD however. That’s a damn shame, really. I’m thinking of playing Legacy of Kain: Soul Reaver again since I never really finished it before. Sure, I have the script for all the games in the series somewhere in my HD but it doesn’t feel the same, you know?
Since I won’t be playing as often as I used to, that gives me more time to work on my writing. I’ve decided to drop my other ideas and put them into the ‘Unfinished Business’ folder on my system and work on an old idea of mine: a modern-day version of Dante’s Inferno. It has been a long, long time since I even considered the idea but right now, I think I’ll focus all my creative energies onto it until I finish. One thing Dante did that I know I can’t would be the focus on the tormented, on the sinners in Hell. I intend to go a different route and focus on the residents of Hell, the demons and devils of the place. I’m still undecided on how it should be structured and if I should make it seem as if there are prominent locations there but that’s secondary. The main allure of the original was the creative ways tht sinners were punished for their sins and I don’t intend to ignore that. I just need to refine my ideas on the matter a little more, add some spit-shine on it.
I’m reluctant to say I’ve found work again since…well, the last time I did that, it wasn’t pretty. For now, I’ll give it a week before I confirm where I’m working though, for privacy reasons, I can’t say what I do and who the company does it for. I admit the pay is lower than anything I’ve ever gotten but at least I have a degree of control over my hours. That’s always a plus.
Anyway, that should be all for today. Let me leave you with this wonderful quote from Douglas Adams:
“Writing is easy. You only need to stare at a blank piece of paper until a drop of blood forms on your forehead.”
Oh, I cannot help but mention this again: this is a list my current favorite fiction books.
10. The Bible (various authors): without a doubt, this book is both a magnificent piece of propaganda and a good work of fiction. Any idiot who actually believes this to be a religious book is…well, an idiot. I have to admit, I’m an opponent of religion in general and I save a particular distrust and dislike of the Catholic Church but this book is magnificent. It has everything. Sex, intrigue, violence, conflict. Certainly, there are a lot of things about it that are historically accurate but that doesn’t mean the book is actually a historical account. In the same way that the piece of garbage that is Dan Brown’s The Da Vinci Code is considered historical fiction, so is The Bible. It isn’t just historical fiction either. As previously mentioned, it is also the finest crafted piece of propaganda in human history, a cornerstone of the longest-running con in the world: Christianity! I’d like this more if it wasn’t constantly being claimed as a religious piece.
9. Belinda (Anne Rice): I love this book. This, for me, is Anne Rice before she turned back on her fans and on The Vampire Chronicles and The Lives of The Mayfair Witches. I don’t want to judge and if she wants to make the stupid decision of doing so for the purpose of joining some stupid religion, that’s her choice. Anyway, I personally think Anne Rice was at her best with this book. Belinda (the character, book) is, by far, the character I like most out of all of Rice’s creations, with the possible exception of Gabrielle De Lioncourt. She’s very endearing and, even though I have extreme difficulty relating to her on many levels, she isn’t what you’d expect after reading the summary at the back. The story itself if very sensual, very erotic but manages to avoid going into the trap that other erotic fiction falls into. I think, somewhere, it was realized that what’s implied and left to the imagination is far more sensual, more seductive than anything put into words on paper. It doesn’t hold the same scope or drama as, say, Queen of the Damned or Memnoch The Devil but it has a certain quality to it I find more appealing.
8. Sputnik Sweetheart (Haruki Murakami): Murakami is fast becoming my new favorite author. This is actually one of his shorter novels and the only one I’ve seen so far that has a female lead, a break from his usual mid-life crisis male salaryman leads. I actually relate to Sumire on a number of levels. I can easily see myself becoming almost a parody of her if I ever take my writing as seriously as she does. I can relate to her frustrations with her writing. She starts but seems unable to finish most of the time. I simply adore her personality and her many quirks since I actually found a lot of them in me. I also find little trouble relating to K, the narrator, because, like him, I know what it feels like to be just a friend to the girl you love. There’s a certain degree of electricity that gets me going when I read through the way the characters interact. I don’t know if this is just due to Murakami’s style, which differs from what I usually read, but I always have trouble putting his books down. I confess most of his fans find this book to be of lower quality than his others but I rather like it.
7. Dracula (Bram Stoker): the vampire novel, no questions asked. This is one of the finest examples of gothic horror there are. The atmosphere that Stoker creates, from the environs of Castle Dracula to the streets of London, is extraordinary. There is a sense of genuine terror whenever you read about an encounter with The Count in his numerous forms. It isn’t the vampire that got me interested in this book, it was the way things were presented. The Count is, in many ways, presented as an ultimate evil and is both a physically present villain and a representation of the darkness and corruption that human beings are capable of. There have been countless interpretations of this story, of this character but none have ever really managed to bring out the extraordinary mix of elegance, dominance, greed, lust and sheer presence that The Count exudes in the book.
6. The Phantom of The Opera (Gaston Leroux): without a doubt, the novel is significantly better than the musical. The Phantom is an incredible villain done with exquisite flair. As Dracula has that lord of the night sensibility to him, Erik exudes a sense of deseration, of loneliness and of inner powerlessness despite his dominance of the opera house that he haunts. He understands that society can never accept him and will always cast him away because of his deformities but in Christine Daae he sees a faint hope of finding some semblance of acceptance, of love. The Phantom longs for someone to end his loneliness, someone to share his world of endless night and infinite music with. In the end, isn’t the pursuit of love something so utterly human? I guess in a way, I think Erik was trying to seek a humanity he feels he lost or never had, through both his music and his pursuit of Christine. It isn’t the smartest idea in the world but it makes for a very sympathetic character, one that makes the novel quite memorable.
5. Carmilla (John Le Fanu): perhaps the inspiration for Bram Stoker’s Dracula, Carmilla is also the root of the stereotypical lesbian vampire. This is unusually short and at times, the style can be oddly fragmented but where it really shines is the way that Carmilla interacts with the narrator. There isn’t much of a grand mystery to it and she isn’t presented as being as cunning and as powerful an evil as The Count was but she has her own wicked charms. Like Dracula, Carmilla is slain at the end and like Dracula, her influence on the surviving characters can never be undone. Certainly, Dracula was scarier and was better written but one cannot help but be enamored by Carmilla’s rather dark charms. Also, I currently find the toned down sexual air of Carmilla to be more appealing than Dracula since so much vampire fiction has that sensuality and eroticism that it gets…boring. Here, there is definitely an attraction but I never got a sexual vibe out of it.
4. Memoirs of a Geisha (Arthur Golden): this book is excellent from every angle I look at it. There’s really noothing I can add to what people have already said about the book and I won’t even try. There’s so much beauty in this book that I can’t figure out how to even begin explaining why I like it so much. Everything is described in vivid detail but not to the point that it chokes the reader, stifles the imagination. All of the characters, from the greedy Mother to the cruel, insecure Hatsumomo to the lead, the sublime and beautiful Sayuri are interesting and endearing, each playing a part in the well-oiled machine that is the narrative of this story. The movie adaptation, like most movie adaptations, was a disappointment when compared to the book but that’s to be expected. This one deserves a place on the bookshelf of any lover of good fiction and any praises it has garnered are well-deserved.
3. The Lovely Bones (Alice Sebould): I can’t praise this book enough, I think. I initially thought it was some sort of horror story and, at the start, it does seem like one, with the narrator being dead and all. Yet, as I read on, I realized it wasn’t. I can’t really tell what genre this is. It isn’t a coming of age story since little Susie Salmon never gets the chance to do so. It isn’t a romance either though she does describe those relationships in the people she left behind. It isn’t horror and it isn’t a detective mystery since we know who did it to her; Susie herself reveals it to us pretty early on in the story. I honestly have no idea how to place this into a single category since it takes elements from a lot of things. All I know for sure is that it is an excellent story and it provides for an interesting perspective on how to narrate a story about people’s lives, which all too often are tainted by the narrator being part of the inside and not detached from it. It has an elegant simplicity that puts it above most other fiction today and I sincerely believe the longer things go, the more people will appreciate this book. Out of all the books in this list, The Lovely Bones is one of the two I think everyone should read at least once. This book deserves far more attention than it has gotten but we can thanks garbage like The Da Vinci Code and J.K. Rowling for that. Though, in a way, I’m thankful. A movie adaptation of this would be sorely disappointing anyway.
2. At The Mountains Of Madness (H.P. Lovecraft): one of the underlying themes of Lovecraft’s works is the insignificance of man and human concepts of morality. Yet, a main fixture of what has been added on to the so-called Cthulhu Mythos have been beings described as ‘gods’ when, in reality, this contradicts Lovecraft’s original ideas, his sort of anti-mythology. Perhaps in response to such, he wrote this piece and made clear that the Old Ones, the Elder Things and such were not divine beings but aliens with technology and biology far more advanced than our own. I’m not even sure what I like about this story, really. I enjoyed it when I first read it and I tend to agree with Lovecraft’s themes but I certainly don’t think this is his best work. The Dunwich Horror or maybe The Strange Case of Charles Dexter Ward have that honor. Still, I needed something that represented what the Mythos is all about and, for me, At The Mountains of Madness does a better job than the others.
1. The Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy (Douglas Adams): I think my feelings on this book are best summed up by this quote from the book itself: DON’T PANIC. This story makes for some very interesting reading, if nothing else. The degree of absurdity in his work varies but the talent in his work doesn’t. If you didn’t chuckle the first time you read the description of how Vogon bureaucracy works or the stupidity of the Ravenous Bug Blatter Beast of Traal, then you don’t have a sense of humor. Amidst all this insanity, he also managed to weave a good amount of sensibility into the work. That is most evident early on in the story. The good sense, the good humor and the unorthodox approach to handling fiction all make the so-called Hitchhikers “trilogy” a must-read and the first book in it even more so. Unlike most science fiction, there isn’t any overwhelming moral argument or philosophical discussion of this or that technology. It is simply a fun ride filled with chaos, comedy, absurdity and the presence of some of the strangest, most endearing characters this side of Magrathea. Where would we be without the answer ‘42’? People have to read this book, even if this is the only book they’ll ever read in their lives. After all, the book is harmless. Mostly harmless.
And that’s that for this list. I’ll do a Top 10 favorite TV shows or video game characters next time around. Anyway, I’ll add some updates to this entry as well.
In terms of gaming, I’ve encountered a few problems. My copy of Lunar 2: Eternal Blue is faulty. It suffers from horrible slowdown at random locations and it makes for a less than enjoyable experience. While I intend to lay it through to the end, unless the slowdown problems clear up soon, I won’t be playing it with the same frequency as say…Thousand Arms. I won’t abandon it though. I’ve always liked the original and I’m determined to finish the sequel. Besides that, I’ve also started playing another SoTN again, just for kicks. I won’t be playing it as religiously as I did before but I don’t think I’ll be burning out the CD due to excessive use. I still haven’t found a working copy of LoD however. That’s a damn shame, really. I’m thinking of playing Legacy of Kain: Soul Reaver again since I never really finished it before. Sure, I have the script for all the games in the series somewhere in my HD but it doesn’t feel the same, you know?
Since I won’t be playing as often as I used to, that gives me more time to work on my writing. I’ve decided to drop my other ideas and put them into the ‘Unfinished Business’ folder on my system and work on an old idea of mine: a modern-day version of Dante’s Inferno. It has been a long, long time since I even considered the idea but right now, I think I’ll focus all my creative energies onto it until I finish. One thing Dante did that I know I can’t would be the focus on the tormented, on the sinners in Hell. I intend to go a different route and focus on the residents of Hell, the demons and devils of the place. I’m still undecided on how it should be structured and if I should make it seem as if there are prominent locations there but that’s secondary. The main allure of the original was the creative ways tht sinners were punished for their sins and I don’t intend to ignore that. I just need to refine my ideas on the matter a little more, add some spit-shine on it.
I’m reluctant to say I’ve found work again since…well, the last time I did that, it wasn’t pretty. For now, I’ll give it a week before I confirm where I’m working though, for privacy reasons, I can’t say what I do and who the company does it for. I admit the pay is lower than anything I’ve ever gotten but at least I have a degree of control over my hours. That’s always a plus.
Anyway, that should be all for today. Let me leave you with this wonderful quote from Douglas Adams:
“Writing is easy. You only need to stare at a blank piece of paper until a drop of blood forms on your forehead.”
Thursday, September 14, 2006
Mini-post Plus Mini-Rant
I think I’ve finally figured out why I feel more attached to my Ambergris workmates rather than my ePLDT workmates despite my having enjoyed the work at the latter call center more.
The training.
Allow me to explain my theory. I spent just a month worth of training in ePLDT before they threw us from the frying pan and into the fire, whereas Ambergris trained us for almost 2 months before we went live full-time. What does that matter, you might ask? Well, it matters because that time spent training is also time spent bonding. The thing is, call center training periods are also the best times for you to bond with one another, form friendships and connect with your future co-owrkers. So, with that in mind, it is natural for me to have bonded more with my Ambergris fellows than ePLDT. I simply had more time away from the floor to get to know them and warm up to them.
You see, the work environment in a call center doesn’t really lend itself too well to building relationships past the training period. Essentially, you have to have some sort of relationship, some sort of bond with them before you even make it to the production floor. The fact is, it is very hard to develop closeness when you’re taking in calls near constantly, the (idiots) callers are in your face and you know you can’t take it out on them, so sometimes, you inadvertently vent it out on your fellow agents. It doesn’t happen but when it does, it has impact. Since your work primarily involves your voice and talking, you rarely have any time to talk to anyone but the customers since they might not have a call but you do or the other way around. It is very rare indeed for 2 agents to have no call for enough time to be able to have anything but an idle, pointless conversation and even then, you tend to talk about work. Now, it is possible for you to talk to one another before or after shift. If you go with ‘before shift’ then you have the problem of not all of you being there and once most or all of you are there, there isn’t that much time left. If ‘after shift’ you or others may not be feeling so good or feel rather burned out by the work and would rather go home and sleep than bond. This is something that doesn’t seem to have ever been noticed by anyone else, or maybe my experience with the industry hasn’t been enough.
And now to abruptly shift topics…
I play video games to get my head out of reality, to take my mind off things even for just a little while. You see, with a life like mine, you don’t have much of a choice. You need to get away from things or you’ll end up insane and you’ll do whatever it takes, be it daydreaming, gaming or reading books. I play and I write because they’re really the only relaxation my mind has left. Music doesn’t do much and the kind of music I listen to isn’t the kind of music you should be listening to at home. They help me relax, help me think, help me create. And most importantly, while playing them I have fun. A lot of people I know don’t get that. They don’t understand that these pseudo-interactive story books are my way of venting out any potentially misplaced anger or sadistic tendencies. If I snap and become angry, that’s likely because I haven’t stomped a mudhole in a game’s boss and walked it dry. I’d be a very, very angry person without them, especially my RPGs. I actually prefer Japanese-style RPGs but I like the more D&D-ish RPGs as well, as shown by my preference in games.
Speaking of preferences, I think I’ll note down my current ten favorite books after the Rant. It’ll help me remind myself that I need to read some more.
Nah.
With those aside, on to this entry’s Rant. I don’t recall what number it is anymore, so I won’t bother putting a number to it.
I have also just come to thinking about something strange about my mother. To be specific, she is always, always on my case whenever I’m looking for a job. She says I’m not trying hard enough. She says I’m not even bothering to look. She says I really should have just stayed with whatever company I was last employed with even though one of the main reasons I left was because she prompted me to leave in the first place. Yet, whenever I do find one, she always, always not-so-subtly hints that she wants me to quit because she always finds something to complain about. For the most part, she finds just one detail about it she doesn’t like and ignores all the good points about it or the possibility that I actually like the job. She complains about the location, the hours, the pay and even if just one little, tiny detail of it she finds to be undesirable, she’ll bite my head off. Sometimes I think she does it because she considers it fun or something. Or she just likes the idea of tormenting me when I’m unemployed. I can’t force myself to believe this is for my best interest because she sure as Hell doesn’t act that way. She finds a way to demean whatever job I have, she complains all the time when I’m employed, berates me when I’m not and generally just gets on my case and on my nerves.
She also happens to pay more attention to the money I make than to the job. That is quite understandable since, in this country, money isn’t just the oil that keeps the machine running. Money is the machine. However, it does disturb me that she cares more about the money than I do. That, plus the fact that she’s put most of what I’ve earned into a bank account that I cannot touch under any circumstances aside from her death, worries me. I think…no, I'm sure she’s spending my money. I don’t mind that. Like any good son, I know I owe it to her but she could at least admit to it. I mean, I know the money I earn but don’t get to touch is going to her wasted shoes, bags, clothes, jewelry and whatnot, but she could at least admit she’s doing it.
Beyond that, she’s asking me to be too many things, to fulfill too many roles. She wants me to work. That’s fine with me. Reasonable. She also wants me to help around the house at the same time. Still within reason. I can do that. She also wants me to do my younger brother’s research and assignments for him. Correct me if I’m wrong but shouldn’t he be doing that himself? She expects me to know everything. What am I? The Philosopher’s Stone? No, I’m not. She wants me to look stuff up for her when she needs it. Why can’t she do it herself? She wants me to show some backbone. How can I do that when she herself cuts me down whenever I do? She wants me to stop being so disrespectful of her. The Hell did that come from? I’ve been nothing but a quiet, often-obedient slave to her for most of my life. She’s the tyrant in my life and she knows it! She says that I should take to her about my problems more. I can’t because she doesn’t listen, doesn’t care and she’ll just find some way to use it to berate me anyway. She wants me to go out more. When I do, she constantly calls and asks when I’m coming home just half an hour after I left the house! If she even lets me leave at all! She wants me to take charge of my life. How can I when she insists on forcing her opinion down my throat for every decision I make?
I’m god-damned tired of it but I don’t have a choice but to deal with it. Not that I haven’t thought of ways to get out of it, mind you. To be honest, [this part of the rant has been edited out].
So what do I do, given my options? Suck it up. I’ll snap eventually and when I do, she’ll regret everything.
The training.
Allow me to explain my theory. I spent just a month worth of training in ePLDT before they threw us from the frying pan and into the fire, whereas Ambergris trained us for almost 2 months before we went live full-time. What does that matter, you might ask? Well, it matters because that time spent training is also time spent bonding. The thing is, call center training periods are also the best times for you to bond with one another, form friendships and connect with your future co-owrkers. So, with that in mind, it is natural for me to have bonded more with my Ambergris fellows than ePLDT. I simply had more time away from the floor to get to know them and warm up to them.
You see, the work environment in a call center doesn’t really lend itself too well to building relationships past the training period. Essentially, you have to have some sort of relationship, some sort of bond with them before you even make it to the production floor. The fact is, it is very hard to develop closeness when you’re taking in calls near constantly, the (idiots) callers are in your face and you know you can’t take it out on them, so sometimes, you inadvertently vent it out on your fellow agents. It doesn’t happen but when it does, it has impact. Since your work primarily involves your voice and talking, you rarely have any time to talk to anyone but the customers since they might not have a call but you do or the other way around. It is very rare indeed for 2 agents to have no call for enough time to be able to have anything but an idle, pointless conversation and even then, you tend to talk about work. Now, it is possible for you to talk to one another before or after shift. If you go with ‘before shift’ then you have the problem of not all of you being there and once most or all of you are there, there isn’t that much time left. If ‘after shift’ you or others may not be feeling so good or feel rather burned out by the work and would rather go home and sleep than bond. This is something that doesn’t seem to have ever been noticed by anyone else, or maybe my experience with the industry hasn’t been enough.
And now to abruptly shift topics…
I play video games to get my head out of reality, to take my mind off things even for just a little while. You see, with a life like mine, you don’t have much of a choice. You need to get away from things or you’ll end up insane and you’ll do whatever it takes, be it daydreaming, gaming or reading books. I play and I write because they’re really the only relaxation my mind has left. Music doesn’t do much and the kind of music I listen to isn’t the kind of music you should be listening to at home. They help me relax, help me think, help me create. And most importantly, while playing them I have fun. A lot of people I know don’t get that. They don’t understand that these pseudo-interactive story books are my way of venting out any potentially misplaced anger or sadistic tendencies. If I snap and become angry, that’s likely because I haven’t stomped a mudhole in a game’s boss and walked it dry. I’d be a very, very angry person without them, especially my RPGs. I actually prefer Japanese-style RPGs but I like the more D&D-ish RPGs as well, as shown by my preference in games.
Speaking of preferences, I think I’ll note down my current ten favorite books after the Rant. It’ll help me remind myself that I need to read some more.
Nah.
With those aside, on to this entry’s Rant. I don’t recall what number it is anymore, so I won’t bother putting a number to it.
I have also just come to thinking about something strange about my mother. To be specific, she is always, always on my case whenever I’m looking for a job. She says I’m not trying hard enough. She says I’m not even bothering to look. She says I really should have just stayed with whatever company I was last employed with even though one of the main reasons I left was because she prompted me to leave in the first place. Yet, whenever I do find one, she always, always not-so-subtly hints that she wants me to quit because she always finds something to complain about. For the most part, she finds just one detail about it she doesn’t like and ignores all the good points about it or the possibility that I actually like the job. She complains about the location, the hours, the pay and even if just one little, tiny detail of it she finds to be undesirable, she’ll bite my head off. Sometimes I think she does it because she considers it fun or something. Or she just likes the idea of tormenting me when I’m unemployed. I can’t force myself to believe this is for my best interest because she sure as Hell doesn’t act that way. She finds a way to demean whatever job I have, she complains all the time when I’m employed, berates me when I’m not and generally just gets on my case and on my nerves.
She also happens to pay more attention to the money I make than to the job. That is quite understandable since, in this country, money isn’t just the oil that keeps the machine running. Money is the machine. However, it does disturb me that she cares more about the money than I do. That, plus the fact that she’s put most of what I’ve earned into a bank account that I cannot touch under any circumstances aside from her death, worries me. I think…no, I'm sure she’s spending my money. I don’t mind that. Like any good son, I know I owe it to her but she could at least admit to it. I mean, I know the money I earn but don’t get to touch is going to her wasted shoes, bags, clothes, jewelry and whatnot, but she could at least admit she’s doing it.
Beyond that, she’s asking me to be too many things, to fulfill too many roles. She wants me to work. That’s fine with me. Reasonable. She also wants me to help around the house at the same time. Still within reason. I can do that. She also wants me to do my younger brother’s research and assignments for him. Correct me if I’m wrong but shouldn’t he be doing that himself? She expects me to know everything. What am I? The Philosopher’s Stone? No, I’m not. She wants me to look stuff up for her when she needs it. Why can’t she do it herself? She wants me to show some backbone. How can I do that when she herself cuts me down whenever I do? She wants me to stop being so disrespectful of her. The Hell did that come from? I’ve been nothing but a quiet, often-obedient slave to her for most of my life. She’s the tyrant in my life and she knows it! She says that I should take to her about my problems more. I can’t because she doesn’t listen, doesn’t care and she’ll just find some way to use it to berate me anyway. She wants me to go out more. When I do, she constantly calls and asks when I’m coming home just half an hour after I left the house! If she even lets me leave at all! She wants me to take charge of my life. How can I when she insists on forcing her opinion down my throat for every decision I make?
I’m god-damned tired of it but I don’t have a choice but to deal with it. Not that I haven’t thought of ways to get out of it, mind you. To be honest, [this part of the rant has been edited out].
So what do I do, given my options? Suck it up. I’ll snap eventually and when I do, she’ll regret everything.
Monday, September 11, 2006
Until I Get It Right...A Top Ten List!
So, what’s been happening since the last update?
Gaming-wise: well, now that I’m done finishing Valkyrie Profile and getting the good ending on Hard, as per personal tradition, I have to beat it with cheats. Now, I’m not a completely cheap bastard. I only plan to use a couple of codes, like the max experience in Experience Orb trick, as well as giving Valkyrie an Angel Slayer or something. Essentially, getting the best weapons I can and a few odd skills, nothing more. Beyond that, I did a bit of digging and found Thousand Arms and Lunar 2: Eternal Blue Complete, which will tide me over once I’m done getting my VP fix. For now though, I’m playing through the game again (current line-up is Valkyrie, Arngrim, Jelanda and Belenus; haven’t gotten that far yet) and the extra dungeon, the Seraphic Gate for kicks. Not sure who to send up but it is tempting to throw Belenus up first, even though I normally send Llewelyn up pretty quickly. Jelanda I don’t have much choice except to keep unless I want to be caught mage-less. I replace her as soon as I can though, typically with Nanami (Dragonbane!). Playing it again reminds me of just how much I loved this game and how much I still love it. And Mystina’s right. Lezard is a little freak. But he’s powerful as Hell, magic-wise. The save I have that’s currently in the Seraphic Gate consists of the power players of the game: Lenneth Valkyrie (archer), Brahms, Lezard Valeth and Freya. For my next run, once I’ve managed to get them, it’ll be Lenneth (front line), Mystina (mage) and… I’m not too sure about who the other ones are going to be. I’ll think about the possibilities after a few runs on Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater 2.
Fiction-wise: even though I’m distracted, I still get bits and pieces of writing done here and there. Now, it isn’t exactly regularly being added to but it works well enough for me. However, I’m still trying to establish a stable background before I go into the plot. I feel as if the introduction is key to this whole thing and I can’t afford to go into how the plot actually starts before I feel I’m good and ready. However, I don’t even have the plot in hand yet. I’m still crafting things in my head and certain details and events are rock-solid already but most is still rather evanescent. However, I think I won’t have too much trouble with this little project. I have a good feeling about it even though I’ve barely touched it, to be honest. I’ll probably get to it once I’m done with Valkyrie Profile and am just starting either TA or L2:EBC.
On a completely unrelated topic, I think I should list down my current Top 10 favorite video games. It has been a while since I last noted them down. I don’t really recall what exactly was in the list the las go-around but I’m pretty sure at least some of it changed in the intervening time. So, without further delay and from last to first, my current Top 10 favorite video games…
10. Final Fantasy VIII: they say you can never forget your first and that’s true for me. FFVIII was the first RPG I ever played and the first game I ever invested more than 12 hours on since another game higher up on this list. Sure, the plot was a little bare and the combat/magic system wasn’t exactly fair and there was little to no character development but the first game that hooks you to a genre tends to stay with you. It may have been the 2nd game in the slow decline of the FF series (the 1st being FFVII) but you have to admit, it weaves a good love story.
9. Guilty Gear XX: fighting game goodness! Combine technical, twitch-button savvy and fast-paced, hit-count-happy combo strings and the quirkiest cast of characters in the history of the genre and you’ve got GGXX. I can’t even begin to tell you just how much fun it is to learn the nuances and oddities of every character and watch their personalities fleshed out in the story mode. Top it all off with a decent fighting game storyline and a real winner’s on your hands. This is living proof that 2D fighting games (and 2D gaming in general) is far from dead and far from being dull and boring.
8. Castlevania: Symphony of the Night: a lot of people hail this as the greatest game ever made and while I don’t agree with that, I do believe this is one of the finest of all time and the best of the series. I spent months on this game trying to complete everything and up to now, I’m still missing bits and pieces here and there. I spent a week trying to get the damn Crissaegrim! The gameplay was intoxicating and it was the first PS1 game I had and, for a while, the only one I had that was in English. While Castlevania: Aria of Sorrow and Castlevania: Harmony of Dissonance were fun, at times, they felt more like SotN clones that didn’t quite get to the level the original did. Definitely a game to come back to frequently for kicks.
7. Metroid: Zero Mission: Samus Aran’s first mission revisited. Perhaps the combination of exploration, platforming elements and trigger-finger action got to me. Maybe it was the fact that this is the remake of the first game in the series. I don’t know. I mean, Metroid Prime is wicked cool and all but there’s something about a 2D Samus Aran that fits my idea of the game like a glove. The intense gameplay and sense of satisfaction you get when you beat the game gave me a warm, fuzzy feeling inside. Sure, it ruined my thumbs but it was well worth the pain. Having played the original Metroid, I believe this to be more than a worthy remake.
6. Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater: the godfather of modern skateboarding game. This game is one that is very close to me. I’ve been a skating fan for many years now and while I can’t physically actually enjoy the sport, at least this game lets me imagine I am. Coupled with a great soundtrack and some of the most insane trick combinations you’ve ever seen in a game like this and you’ve got one of the best ways to relieve stress and forget your worries that money can buy. There’s nothing like pulling off that first 900 successfully after several crash and burn attempts. Heaven is a half-pipe!
5. Planescape: Torment: hands-down, the greatest PC-style RPG ever made. This game had all the elements of the perfect RPG experience: an excellent cast of characters, flexibility in creating your character, an intriguing world to play in, a wide array of challenges and one of the finest plots ever written for a game. The game has a philosophical bent to it with the whole ‘What can change the nature of a man?’ question and the nature of the game and the script leaves the answer in your hands, as it should be since such a question, I think, has no definite answer. This blows other RPGs, other games, right out of the water and if this wasn’t a list of my current favorites, I’d list it at the top.
4. Kana: Imouto: if this game didn’t make you cry at least once when you played it, I suggest you go see a shrink. I know it made me cry. This isn’t just a game. This is an experience. Being part of the visual novel genre, very few people outside of Japan have ever even heard of this, which is a shame. This is a classic story and there’s good replay value due to the number of endings you can get and, by far, the true ending is the most memorable and the most emotional. No other game but this made me cry and I actually still play it and consciously go for what I know to be the saddest ending because I can’t help it. I’m such a sucker for a good sob story.
3. Metal Gear Solid: the pinnacle of the series, Hideo Kojima’s work at his best. This is the best of the series, in my opinion. A good story, well-written characters, challenging boss battles and strangely satisfying stealth-based gameplay make this a classic. Sure, Sam Fisher of the Splinter Cell games may have more tricks up his sleeve than Solid Snake but in the end, Snake’s a bigger bad ass than Fisher. It was well worth is to rack up the save count to see Mei Ling and Snake’s conversations with Otacon can induce the occasional chuckle. Who can forget Gray Fox’s infamous ‘Hurt me more!’ line? Or the FoxHound members, each with their own personalities and view on things? In the end, MGS delivers a stealth-action experience nothing out there can top. Who knew cardboard boxes could be so much fun?
2. Baldur’s Gate II: Shadows of Amn (plus the expansion, Throne of Bhaal): in reality, this really should be a distant second to Planescape: Torment but one thing sets BG apart from PS:T and that is mods. There are a lot of mods for BG out there and most are good. Some add new characters, like the whiny and annoying Kelsey (I respect the work put into this mod; I don’t respect the character that came of it) or the young, beautiful Saerileth. There are others that modify existing content, like the Imoen Romance Mod or the Unfinished Business mod. Regardless of what they do, the mods help give new life to the old game and I think it’ll give BG more longevity than PS:T since the mods always add some new nuance to explore or some new character to get to know. Honestly, PS:T is the infinitely superior game if we’re talking about a game standing alone but with the mods taken into consideration, BGII takes the cake. That doesn’t mean it doesn’t get old though. For the time being, I’m actually enjoying BGII more but that’s probably because I haven’t touched on PS:T for a while.
1. Valkyrie Profile: an old, underappreciated friend. I’ve always been interested in Norse mythology and when I first heard of the game, I knew I had to grab it. I knew I was in for an RPG but I wasn’t expecting some of the things that I got in this game. Some of the recruitment scenes made me laugh (Badrach). Some of them made me sympathize (Yumei). Some of them I understood the emotions of all too well (Janus). Some of them got on my nerves (Jelanda). Some of them made me feel all warm and fuzzy for some reason (Mystina). The Einherjar had more character development in their recruitment scenes than the entire FFVIII crew and I found even annoying little Jelanda more appealing than the entire cast of FFVII combined. The unique combat system demanded more strategy than the conventional RPG. I hope to get my hands on Valkyrie Profile: Silmeria in the future, just to see if it matches up to the original. There isn’t anything more satisfying in a game for me right now than hearing Freya say ‘Can you withstand this?’ right before blasting the enemy into dust or hearing Mystina speak the incantation for Absolute Zero over and over again. I can live without Grey’s or Lorenta’s lines though. Something about their voices don’t mix well with me. This game, without a doubt, is my current favorite.
Well, that’s my current Top 10 favorite games. That’s guaranteed to change in time, though I think Planescape: Torment, Final Fantasy VIII, Valkyrie Profile and Metal Gear Solid are going to be staples of this list over time. I think I’ll cook up my current Top 10 favorite fictional characters or books next…
Ha! That’ll be a good laugh!
Gaming-wise: well, now that I’m done finishing Valkyrie Profile and getting the good ending on Hard, as per personal tradition, I have to beat it with cheats. Now, I’m not a completely cheap bastard. I only plan to use a couple of codes, like the max experience in Experience Orb trick, as well as giving Valkyrie an Angel Slayer or something. Essentially, getting the best weapons I can and a few odd skills, nothing more. Beyond that, I did a bit of digging and found Thousand Arms and Lunar 2: Eternal Blue Complete, which will tide me over once I’m done getting my VP fix. For now though, I’m playing through the game again (current line-up is Valkyrie, Arngrim, Jelanda and Belenus; haven’t gotten that far yet) and the extra dungeon, the Seraphic Gate for kicks. Not sure who to send up but it is tempting to throw Belenus up first, even though I normally send Llewelyn up pretty quickly. Jelanda I don’t have much choice except to keep unless I want to be caught mage-less. I replace her as soon as I can though, typically with Nanami (Dragonbane!). Playing it again reminds me of just how much I loved this game and how much I still love it. And Mystina’s right. Lezard is a little freak. But he’s powerful as Hell, magic-wise. The save I have that’s currently in the Seraphic Gate consists of the power players of the game: Lenneth Valkyrie (archer), Brahms, Lezard Valeth and Freya. For my next run, once I’ve managed to get them, it’ll be Lenneth (front line), Mystina (mage) and… I’m not too sure about who the other ones are going to be. I’ll think about the possibilities after a few runs on Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater 2.
Fiction-wise: even though I’m distracted, I still get bits and pieces of writing done here and there. Now, it isn’t exactly regularly being added to but it works well enough for me. However, I’m still trying to establish a stable background before I go into the plot. I feel as if the introduction is key to this whole thing and I can’t afford to go into how the plot actually starts before I feel I’m good and ready. However, I don’t even have the plot in hand yet. I’m still crafting things in my head and certain details and events are rock-solid already but most is still rather evanescent. However, I think I won’t have too much trouble with this little project. I have a good feeling about it even though I’ve barely touched it, to be honest. I’ll probably get to it once I’m done with Valkyrie Profile and am just starting either TA or L2:EBC.
On a completely unrelated topic, I think I should list down my current Top 10 favorite video games. It has been a while since I last noted them down. I don’t really recall what exactly was in the list the las go-around but I’m pretty sure at least some of it changed in the intervening time. So, without further delay and from last to first, my current Top 10 favorite video games…
10. Final Fantasy VIII: they say you can never forget your first and that’s true for me. FFVIII was the first RPG I ever played and the first game I ever invested more than 12 hours on since another game higher up on this list. Sure, the plot was a little bare and the combat/magic system wasn’t exactly fair and there was little to no character development but the first game that hooks you to a genre tends to stay with you. It may have been the 2nd game in the slow decline of the FF series (the 1st being FFVII) but you have to admit, it weaves a good love story.
9. Guilty Gear XX: fighting game goodness! Combine technical, twitch-button savvy and fast-paced, hit-count-happy combo strings and the quirkiest cast of characters in the history of the genre and you’ve got GGXX. I can’t even begin to tell you just how much fun it is to learn the nuances and oddities of every character and watch their personalities fleshed out in the story mode. Top it all off with a decent fighting game storyline and a real winner’s on your hands. This is living proof that 2D fighting games (and 2D gaming in general) is far from dead and far from being dull and boring.
8. Castlevania: Symphony of the Night: a lot of people hail this as the greatest game ever made and while I don’t agree with that, I do believe this is one of the finest of all time and the best of the series. I spent months on this game trying to complete everything and up to now, I’m still missing bits and pieces here and there. I spent a week trying to get the damn Crissaegrim! The gameplay was intoxicating and it was the first PS1 game I had and, for a while, the only one I had that was in English. While Castlevania: Aria of Sorrow and Castlevania: Harmony of Dissonance were fun, at times, they felt more like SotN clones that didn’t quite get to the level the original did. Definitely a game to come back to frequently for kicks.
7. Metroid: Zero Mission: Samus Aran’s first mission revisited. Perhaps the combination of exploration, platforming elements and trigger-finger action got to me. Maybe it was the fact that this is the remake of the first game in the series. I don’t know. I mean, Metroid Prime is wicked cool and all but there’s something about a 2D Samus Aran that fits my idea of the game like a glove. The intense gameplay and sense of satisfaction you get when you beat the game gave me a warm, fuzzy feeling inside. Sure, it ruined my thumbs but it was well worth the pain. Having played the original Metroid, I believe this to be more than a worthy remake.
6. Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater: the godfather of modern skateboarding game. This game is one that is very close to me. I’ve been a skating fan for many years now and while I can’t physically actually enjoy the sport, at least this game lets me imagine I am. Coupled with a great soundtrack and some of the most insane trick combinations you’ve ever seen in a game like this and you’ve got one of the best ways to relieve stress and forget your worries that money can buy. There’s nothing like pulling off that first 900 successfully after several crash and burn attempts. Heaven is a half-pipe!
5. Planescape: Torment: hands-down, the greatest PC-style RPG ever made. This game had all the elements of the perfect RPG experience: an excellent cast of characters, flexibility in creating your character, an intriguing world to play in, a wide array of challenges and one of the finest plots ever written for a game. The game has a philosophical bent to it with the whole ‘What can change the nature of a man?’ question and the nature of the game and the script leaves the answer in your hands, as it should be since such a question, I think, has no definite answer. This blows other RPGs, other games, right out of the water and if this wasn’t a list of my current favorites, I’d list it at the top.
4. Kana: Imouto: if this game didn’t make you cry at least once when you played it, I suggest you go see a shrink. I know it made me cry. This isn’t just a game. This is an experience. Being part of the visual novel genre, very few people outside of Japan have ever even heard of this, which is a shame. This is a classic story and there’s good replay value due to the number of endings you can get and, by far, the true ending is the most memorable and the most emotional. No other game but this made me cry and I actually still play it and consciously go for what I know to be the saddest ending because I can’t help it. I’m such a sucker for a good sob story.
3. Metal Gear Solid: the pinnacle of the series, Hideo Kojima’s work at his best. This is the best of the series, in my opinion. A good story, well-written characters, challenging boss battles and strangely satisfying stealth-based gameplay make this a classic. Sure, Sam Fisher of the Splinter Cell games may have more tricks up his sleeve than Solid Snake but in the end, Snake’s a bigger bad ass than Fisher. It was well worth is to rack up the save count to see Mei Ling and Snake’s conversations with Otacon can induce the occasional chuckle. Who can forget Gray Fox’s infamous ‘Hurt me more!’ line? Or the FoxHound members, each with their own personalities and view on things? In the end, MGS delivers a stealth-action experience nothing out there can top. Who knew cardboard boxes could be so much fun?
2. Baldur’s Gate II: Shadows of Amn (plus the expansion, Throne of Bhaal): in reality, this really should be a distant second to Planescape: Torment but one thing sets BG apart from PS:T and that is mods. There are a lot of mods for BG out there and most are good. Some add new characters, like the whiny and annoying Kelsey (I respect the work put into this mod; I don’t respect the character that came of it) or the young, beautiful Saerileth. There are others that modify existing content, like the Imoen Romance Mod or the Unfinished Business mod. Regardless of what they do, the mods help give new life to the old game and I think it’ll give BG more longevity than PS:T since the mods always add some new nuance to explore or some new character to get to know. Honestly, PS:T is the infinitely superior game if we’re talking about a game standing alone but with the mods taken into consideration, BGII takes the cake. That doesn’t mean it doesn’t get old though. For the time being, I’m actually enjoying BGII more but that’s probably because I haven’t touched on PS:T for a while.
1. Valkyrie Profile: an old, underappreciated friend. I’ve always been interested in Norse mythology and when I first heard of the game, I knew I had to grab it. I knew I was in for an RPG but I wasn’t expecting some of the things that I got in this game. Some of the recruitment scenes made me laugh (Badrach). Some of them made me sympathize (Yumei). Some of them I understood the emotions of all too well (Janus). Some of them got on my nerves (Jelanda). Some of them made me feel all warm and fuzzy for some reason (Mystina). The Einherjar had more character development in their recruitment scenes than the entire FFVIII crew and I found even annoying little Jelanda more appealing than the entire cast of FFVII combined. The unique combat system demanded more strategy than the conventional RPG. I hope to get my hands on Valkyrie Profile: Silmeria in the future, just to see if it matches up to the original. There isn’t anything more satisfying in a game for me right now than hearing Freya say ‘Can you withstand this?’ right before blasting the enemy into dust or hearing Mystina speak the incantation for Absolute Zero over and over again. I can live without Grey’s or Lorenta’s lines though. Something about their voices don’t mix well with me. This game, without a doubt, is my current favorite.
Well, that’s my current Top 10 favorite games. That’s guaranteed to change in time, though I think Planescape: Torment, Final Fantasy VIII, Valkyrie Profile and Metal Gear Solid are going to be staples of this list over time. I think I’ll cook up my current Top 10 favorite fictional characters or books next…
Ha! That’ll be a good laugh!
Tuesday, September 05, 2006
God Hates Me.
Something’s been on my mind that shouldn’t be there lately.
Fanfiction.
Specifically, writing fanfiction. Again.
Now, as anyone who knows me is aware of, I’ve given up writing that a long time ago. The last fanfic I wrote (I use the term loosely) was The Phantom of the Hinata Opera. I don’t even consider that as something I wrote since the script was practically already written out for me, so in a way, the last real fanfic I wrote was…Angel Light, Angel Dark I believe. And now here I am, beta-reader to an LH fanfic centering around my favorite LH girl (arguably former favorite, really) Kanako Urashima and a “consultant” (not sure the term applies) to a GA fic that needs my input because it stems off of my sole GA fanfic, Rhapsody. This is all well and good but it has gotten my mind rolling back in that loathsome direction. I don’t want to end up writing fanfics again and putting up with the stupidity that is FFN but already Galaxy Angel fanfic ideas are overwhelming the spaces in my mind that should be reserved for original work. Mind you, I admit that if there’s one fandom that can possibly drag me kicking, screaming and cursing back to FFN and the spiral of Hell that is fanfiction writing, it has to be Galaxy Angel.There’s just so much you can work with in both the animé and the games, not to mention Mint and Milfeulle are so cute together. However, for now the urge is small but the fact that my head is occupied by GA fanfic ideas worries me a bit. Is this how it feels to knoe that dread Cthulhu is about to rise from his dream-death state to end humanity? Yeah, probably. Oh well. Time to join the local chapter of the Cthulhu Cult.
Now, moving on. I think I’ve finally nailed down what I want to do with my next story. Take out all the unrealistic details that appeal to the escapist fanboy in me and leave in a bare, vanilla high school setting. Well, not completely vanilla. Like everything else I’ve written, there has to be a degree of absurdity to it all that no one within the story pays much attention to. In Shinjo No Aijo, it was the all-too-human androids. In Yuki’s Diary, it was the fact that nearly none of the cast was straight. In this one? Well, the very location of the school setting would be the first one, though it sort of feels like I ripped it right out of Mai-HiMe or Mahou Sensei Negima. I won’t give out the details but let me just say that no one in their right mind would put a school where I’m putting it in the real world. I’m not really sure if I should make the main character (for now, her name is Celia Franboise) into a real lesbian or just someone going with the flow of things in the school. I also probably need an outside observer character, someone who isn’t swept in by the whims and fancies of the student body. Fortunately, I have just such a character in mind and, frankly, I’ve been saving Tarot Corbin for a bit now so about time she got her kicks in. Not quite sure if it should be played out as a love story or not but then again, such stories are hard to make exciting so I might go a different route at the least.
I think my next piece (tentative title being Scrapbook) should be written scene-by-scene. Such an approach will not only prove to be a lot easier on me than the chapter-by-chapter method I employed before. That means the length of each update will fluctuate unlike in the past, when my updates were consistent in terms of length. It also lets me determine what scenes to flesh out and what not to as I see fit and not be forced to stretch out some scenes that should be kept short because I need to fill in the page quota. The latter approach, though, seems more suited for the current trend towards maximalism in description and narration. Maybe that’s just my take on things though. In any case, my plan to do this scene-by-scene is going to be a little alien to me since it strikes me as being more fluid, more free-form than I’m used to. However, I still have to get past the hurdle of the starting paragraph. In many ways, the starting paragraph should ideally be independent of the rest of the story but it also, in my mind, sets up the all-important opening chapter. That, I hope, is a good thing. I never really know what is going to be a good thing until I’m done with whatever story it happens to be tried in. Turns out shojo-ai in my fiction is a good thing (Shinjo No Aijo) but full-blown, all-out yuri (Yuki’s Diary) is not. We’ll see.
In the gaming front, disappointment and frustration. My PC copy of Breath of Fire IV is busted at the Empire aqueduct part. As I thought about how to go about it next, I recalled my old collection of RPGs on the PS1. I dug it up and found Valkyrie Profile, Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VIII, Final Fantasy VI, The Legend of Dragoon, Legend of Legaia, Breath of Fire IV, Lunar: Silver Star Story Complete and a whole bunch of others that I really miss. Since I never had and will never be able to afford a PS2, I only have a PS1 game library. Since my younger brother nuked the lens of my old console, I decided it was about time I dug up a PS1 emulator and started getting the old games out of the cabinet. Likely just a bunch of RPGs such as Valkyrie Profile and Chrono Cross, probably Castlevania: Symphony of the Night, Darkstalkers 3 and Tenchu 2: Birth of the Assassins as well since I already have FFVI on emulator and FFVIII on PC. No, never will FFVII touch my system. So I went and got myself an emulator. Anything to get my current console-style RPG fix since that seems to be what’s running about in my head. Even turned them into ISO files, in case the CDs end up breaking down due to excessive use and abuse. If all goes well, I’ll have more fun than I’ve had since first discovering the Imoen Romance Mod for Baldur’s Gate II: Shadows of Amn (speaking of which, I wonder if the ToB portion of that mod is done at last?) a while back. Fun times ahead I hope.
Now, it just slipped into my mind that I’m actually enjoying Shaman King and Outlaw Star. Normally, I don’t enjoy the shallow and dull shonen animé like them but I seem to be making an exception for those two. In recent years, any shonen series I watch I watch not because I like it but because either a female character or an idea in the show interested me. As regards the latter, it doesn’t happen very often for me but the best example, I guess, would be Negi. I hate all the girls there, even though I can tolerate Setsuna, Konoka and Makie and Nodoka. For the first one, SK falls into that category since I only watch it for Ellie and Tao Jun, even if they are minor characters. LH, now that I think about it, fits in this nicely too. Kanako and Shinobu made my day for that show. Lunamaria Hawke and her baby sister, not to mention Lacus Clyne and Flay Alster, got me pseudo-hooked on GS and GSD. I’m just not that big a fan of the genre any more. Now, to be fair, I like Azu and GA for the funny and not for anything else. Shows like that soothe me. Yet, Outlaw Star is actually a series I’m starting to enjoy because of the show itself. I’m not fond of any of the female characters (but Melfina’s easy on the eyes, unlike Aisha) but the show just appeals to me. Sort of the same way that Hand Maid May appealed to me. Can’t imagine why though. I lost interest in almost all male-oriented anime a long time ago. Yet, it has to be said that whatever I liked before shifting to shojo I still do but not always for the same reasons as before the shift. I need for GA in my TV diet…that’ll fix things. Maybe catch a few raw episodes of that new show, Simone, too. I hear it be cute!
Work was…interesting. I seriously can’t tell you all exactly what I do but I have to say, it is…different. I’m happy I don’t have to take in calls anymore and I don’t have to listen to some silly American and his silly complaints or demands. Maybe the lack of sleep is responsible or the lack of water but my first day wasn’t the smoothest transition I’ve ever had. Could just be the fact that I didn’t get any training for the job but then again, I can’t really ask to be trained in this job, can I? You can’t exactly be taught how to review, write and critique, can you? I’ll have to find some way to adjust and I’ll probably need some time to do that. I’ll never find out what would have happened if I had since I was fired prettty much after my shift. There goes my writing career…
Another Rant is in order but I’ll save the venom for laterr.
At the same moment as this is being written, I’m actually watching Troy. Not exactly my cup of tea but anything will do while I wait for some things to finish, though I’d much prefer a more accurate depiction of Homer’s original epic. As I watch, I can’t help but think I’m doing something wrong. I don’t know what or why but I can’t help but feel like I’m doing something wrong. This isn’t one of those things that’s wrong with my life. This isn’t related to the moves I’ve made career-wise or personally either. I can’t figure it out. I realize this has happened before and I think this, like the others that came before it, would just pass by. Nothing a few Nibelung Valesti hits in VP can’t cure, combined with avoidance of any and all FFVII-related garbage like Dirge of Cerberus. Keep it away!
Speaking of keeping away, I think I should get away from this now and get back to more important things.
Job Hunting.
Again.
Fanfiction.
Specifically, writing fanfiction. Again.
Now, as anyone who knows me is aware of, I’ve given up writing that a long time ago. The last fanfic I wrote (I use the term loosely) was The Phantom of the Hinata Opera. I don’t even consider that as something I wrote since the script was practically already written out for me, so in a way, the last real fanfic I wrote was…Angel Light, Angel Dark I believe. And now here I am, beta-reader to an LH fanfic centering around my favorite LH girl (arguably former favorite, really) Kanako Urashima and a “consultant” (not sure the term applies) to a GA fic that needs my input because it stems off of my sole GA fanfic, Rhapsody. This is all well and good but it has gotten my mind rolling back in that loathsome direction. I don’t want to end up writing fanfics again and putting up with the stupidity that is FFN but already Galaxy Angel fanfic ideas are overwhelming the spaces in my mind that should be reserved for original work. Mind you, I admit that if there’s one fandom that can possibly drag me kicking, screaming and cursing back to FFN and the spiral of Hell that is fanfiction writing, it has to be Galaxy Angel.There’s just so much you can work with in both the animé and the games, not to mention Mint and Milfeulle are so cute together. However, for now the urge is small but the fact that my head is occupied by GA fanfic ideas worries me a bit. Is this how it feels to knoe that dread Cthulhu is about to rise from his dream-death state to end humanity? Yeah, probably. Oh well. Time to join the local chapter of the Cthulhu Cult.
Now, moving on. I think I’ve finally nailed down what I want to do with my next story. Take out all the unrealistic details that appeal to the escapist fanboy in me and leave in a bare, vanilla high school setting. Well, not completely vanilla. Like everything else I’ve written, there has to be a degree of absurdity to it all that no one within the story pays much attention to. In Shinjo No Aijo, it was the all-too-human androids. In Yuki’s Diary, it was the fact that nearly none of the cast was straight. In this one? Well, the very location of the school setting would be the first one, though it sort of feels like I ripped it right out of Mai-HiMe or Mahou Sensei Negima. I won’t give out the details but let me just say that no one in their right mind would put a school where I’m putting it in the real world. I’m not really sure if I should make the main character (for now, her name is Celia Franboise) into a real lesbian or just someone going with the flow of things in the school. I also probably need an outside observer character, someone who isn’t swept in by the whims and fancies of the student body. Fortunately, I have just such a character in mind and, frankly, I’ve been saving Tarot Corbin for a bit now so about time she got her kicks in. Not quite sure if it should be played out as a love story or not but then again, such stories are hard to make exciting so I might go a different route at the least.
I think my next piece (tentative title being Scrapbook) should be written scene-by-scene. Such an approach will not only prove to be a lot easier on me than the chapter-by-chapter method I employed before. That means the length of each update will fluctuate unlike in the past, when my updates were consistent in terms of length. It also lets me determine what scenes to flesh out and what not to as I see fit and not be forced to stretch out some scenes that should be kept short because I need to fill in the page quota. The latter approach, though, seems more suited for the current trend towards maximalism in description and narration. Maybe that’s just my take on things though. In any case, my plan to do this scene-by-scene is going to be a little alien to me since it strikes me as being more fluid, more free-form than I’m used to. However, I still have to get past the hurdle of the starting paragraph. In many ways, the starting paragraph should ideally be independent of the rest of the story but it also, in my mind, sets up the all-important opening chapter. That, I hope, is a good thing. I never really know what is going to be a good thing until I’m done with whatever story it happens to be tried in. Turns out shojo-ai in my fiction is a good thing (Shinjo No Aijo) but full-blown, all-out yuri (Yuki’s Diary) is not. We’ll see.
In the gaming front, disappointment and frustration. My PC copy of Breath of Fire IV is busted at the Empire aqueduct part. As I thought about how to go about it next, I recalled my old collection of RPGs on the PS1. I dug it up and found Valkyrie Profile, Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VIII, Final Fantasy VI, The Legend of Dragoon, Legend of Legaia, Breath of Fire IV, Lunar: Silver Star Story Complete and a whole bunch of others that I really miss. Since I never had and will never be able to afford a PS2, I only have a PS1 game library. Since my younger brother nuked the lens of my old console, I decided it was about time I dug up a PS1 emulator and started getting the old games out of the cabinet. Likely just a bunch of RPGs such as Valkyrie Profile and Chrono Cross, probably Castlevania: Symphony of the Night, Darkstalkers 3 and Tenchu 2: Birth of the Assassins as well since I already have FFVI on emulator and FFVIII on PC. No, never will FFVII touch my system. So I went and got myself an emulator. Anything to get my current console-style RPG fix since that seems to be what’s running about in my head. Even turned them into ISO files, in case the CDs end up breaking down due to excessive use and abuse. If all goes well, I’ll have more fun than I’ve had since first discovering the Imoen Romance Mod for Baldur’s Gate II: Shadows of Amn (speaking of which, I wonder if the ToB portion of that mod is done at last?) a while back. Fun times ahead I hope.
Now, it just slipped into my mind that I’m actually enjoying Shaman King and Outlaw Star. Normally, I don’t enjoy the shallow and dull shonen animé like them but I seem to be making an exception for those two. In recent years, any shonen series I watch I watch not because I like it but because either a female character or an idea in the show interested me. As regards the latter, it doesn’t happen very often for me but the best example, I guess, would be Negi. I hate all the girls there, even though I can tolerate Setsuna, Konoka and Makie and Nodoka. For the first one, SK falls into that category since I only watch it for Ellie and Tao Jun, even if they are minor characters. LH, now that I think about it, fits in this nicely too. Kanako and Shinobu made my day for that show. Lunamaria Hawke and her baby sister, not to mention Lacus Clyne and Flay Alster, got me pseudo-hooked on GS and GSD. I’m just not that big a fan of the genre any more. Now, to be fair, I like Azu and GA for the funny and not for anything else. Shows like that soothe me. Yet, Outlaw Star is actually a series I’m starting to enjoy because of the show itself. I’m not fond of any of the female characters (but Melfina’s easy on the eyes, unlike Aisha) but the show just appeals to me. Sort of the same way that Hand Maid May appealed to me. Can’t imagine why though. I lost interest in almost all male-oriented anime a long time ago. Yet, it has to be said that whatever I liked before shifting to shojo I still do but not always for the same reasons as before the shift. I need for GA in my TV diet…that’ll fix things. Maybe catch a few raw episodes of that new show, Simone, too. I hear it be cute!
Work was…interesting. I seriously can’t tell you all exactly what I do but I have to say, it is…different. I’m happy I don’t have to take in calls anymore and I don’t have to listen to some silly American and his silly complaints or demands. Maybe the lack of sleep is responsible or the lack of water but my first day wasn’t the smoothest transition I’ve ever had. Could just be the fact that I didn’t get any training for the job but then again, I can’t really ask to be trained in this job, can I? You can’t exactly be taught how to review, write and critique, can you? I’ll have to find some way to adjust and I’ll probably need some time to do that. I’ll never find out what would have happened if I had since I was fired prettty much after my shift. There goes my writing career…
Another Rant is in order but I’ll save the venom for laterr.
At the same moment as this is being written, I’m actually watching Troy. Not exactly my cup of tea but anything will do while I wait for some things to finish, though I’d much prefer a more accurate depiction of Homer’s original epic. As I watch, I can’t help but think I’m doing something wrong. I don’t know what or why but I can’t help but feel like I’m doing something wrong. This isn’t one of those things that’s wrong with my life. This isn’t related to the moves I’ve made career-wise or personally either. I can’t figure it out. I realize this has happened before and I think this, like the others that came before it, would just pass by. Nothing a few Nibelung Valesti hits in VP can’t cure, combined with avoidance of any and all FFVII-related garbage like Dirge of Cerberus. Keep it away!
Speaking of keeping away, I think I should get away from this now and get back to more important things.
Job Hunting.
Again.
The First Day Is Always The Hardest: iWebmasters
First day (or night, depends) of work. Need sleep. Not thinking straight. Need water.
Sunday, September 03, 2006
Considerations...
For some reason, I still can’t get my head wrapped around how I can’t stop playing Final Fantasy VIII. I’m slowly discovering little details about it that I didn’t know before. I never realized that there were items you could use to rename both Rinoa’s dog Angelo and the little Chicobo that Chocobo Kid gives you as a reward for catching your first Chocobo. After a lot of hard work, I managed to max out everybody’s level, down to the GFs and, in contrast to previous strategies I employed, I actually handed out GFs to my B-team characters (Quistis, Irvine and Selphie) to make them useful in the final battle. But that isn’t the only thing. Playing the game so much has actually made me discover that I can actually identify where a particular piece of the soundtrack was played, what the title of the piece is and, more often than not, even what was going on while the music played. Of course, playing the game has also opened me up once more to playing old console-style RPGs again. Now, my PS1 is busted and I can’t afford a PS2, so I’m stuck with playing PC versions. I think Valkyrie Profile or The Legend of Dragoon for the PC doesn’t exist and I’m no fan of Final Fantasy VII or Final Fantasy IX, so I did a little digging. And I found Capcom’s Breath of Fire IV, which I’m having a lot of fun with at the moment.
To be honest, I’ve always found the BoF series plots to be weaker than average (and every decent RPG gamer knows plot is key to any RPG) and BoF4 is no exception to that. However, I’m not in the mood for any plot with the level of insanse intricacy to the point of stupidity of FFVII’s or with awkwardly handled plot twists like FFVIII’s, so I don’t mind. Ryu isn’t exactly my idea of an ideal main character either (Squall is a bit closer but not quite) but Nina’s not bad as the female lead. She’s certainly easier to stomach than Yuna, Rikku, Paine or Garnet. She reminds me of Aerith for some reason. Ursula is a lot more interesting for me, however. There’s something oddly appealing about her and reminds me of the same appeal I saw in Rinoa of FFVIII and Lenneth of VP when I first played their respective games. I don’t spend countless hours on it, however. I know better than that. If I could get my hands on an English copy of Lunar: Silver Star Story Complete or Lunar 2: Eternal Blue Complete for the PC, I think it’ll be a safe bet you can lock me up and throw away the key for the duration. I appear to be giving myself more free time writing (or, more appropriately, trying to write) than playing, unlike FFVIII.
Now, to be honest, I’m not entirely sure what to write next. After the disaster that is Akatsuki, I know I don’t want to go into another story with people having powers of any sort, be it psychic or demonic or whatever in nature. However, the idea for a character I had in mind as a minor character for what was going to be my next piece lends itself too well to not only people having supernatural powers but also to having the existence of other things. I confess an inkling to go into Lovecraftian territory and delve into fiction that portrays beings man cannot know but doing it now? I’m not entirely sure I can convince myself to pull that off. Still, the prospect is too good to pass up completely. I keep telling myself that the time has come for me to get back to my writing roots (so to speak) but the prospect of crafting my own twisted version of the good-evil dichotomy and supposed conflict is too tempting to shelve. This poses a problem for me. Although I have to admit, I’ve always wanted to write something that’s a mix of Lovecraftian horror, shojo-ai and a plot akin to the style seen in games like Persona and Persona 2: Eternal Punishment. A truly talented writer can pull it off but there comes the question: am I one of those?
Of course, part of me, the part that’s an In Nomine and Spawn die-hard, wants to create a story that mixes elements from both worlds. I’ve always liked the way IN handled the good-evil conflict and how the concepts of Destiny and Fate were done. It makes sense to me that each of us has an ultimate evil that we can perform that will condemn us as well as an ultimate good that can redeem us. The fact that a good man can go to Hell just by not giving alms to one random beggar while a vicious torturer can be given access to Heaven for a single act of mercy appeals to me even as many would see it as unfair. The idea of Heaven and Hell being less clearly good and evil and more…morally neutral than religion portrays them also sits well with me. Although I dislike the concept of Words and how important human perception is to their power, as presented by IN, since it imposes a bit of an unusual limitation and makes humans too important. Still, the only alternatives I know of that I think make sense would be the Buffyverse version (like The First and Wolfram & Hart’s Senior Partners) and the Lovecraftian idea of tossing good and evil out the window since such things don’t matter in the grander scheme of things. However, such a project and the scope it would entail isn’t quite something I think I can handle just yet. Though the idea lends itself too well to me for me to ignore it for very long.
Well, I think I better go on for now. I’ve got to wrap my head around the concept and characters in my head. This may take a while…
To be honest, I’ve always found the BoF series plots to be weaker than average (and every decent RPG gamer knows plot is key to any RPG) and BoF4 is no exception to that. However, I’m not in the mood for any plot with the level of insanse intricacy to the point of stupidity of FFVII’s or with awkwardly handled plot twists like FFVIII’s, so I don’t mind. Ryu isn’t exactly my idea of an ideal main character either (Squall is a bit closer but not quite) but Nina’s not bad as the female lead. She’s certainly easier to stomach than Yuna, Rikku, Paine or Garnet. She reminds me of Aerith for some reason. Ursula is a lot more interesting for me, however. There’s something oddly appealing about her and reminds me of the same appeal I saw in Rinoa of FFVIII and Lenneth of VP when I first played their respective games. I don’t spend countless hours on it, however. I know better than that. If I could get my hands on an English copy of Lunar: Silver Star Story Complete or Lunar 2: Eternal Blue Complete for the PC, I think it’ll be a safe bet you can lock me up and throw away the key for the duration. I appear to be giving myself more free time writing (or, more appropriately, trying to write) than playing, unlike FFVIII.
Now, to be honest, I’m not entirely sure what to write next. After the disaster that is Akatsuki, I know I don’t want to go into another story with people having powers of any sort, be it psychic or demonic or whatever in nature. However, the idea for a character I had in mind as a minor character for what was going to be my next piece lends itself too well to not only people having supernatural powers but also to having the existence of other things. I confess an inkling to go into Lovecraftian territory and delve into fiction that portrays beings man cannot know but doing it now? I’m not entirely sure I can convince myself to pull that off. Still, the prospect is too good to pass up completely. I keep telling myself that the time has come for me to get back to my writing roots (so to speak) but the prospect of crafting my own twisted version of the good-evil dichotomy and supposed conflict is too tempting to shelve. This poses a problem for me. Although I have to admit, I’ve always wanted to write something that’s a mix of Lovecraftian horror, shojo-ai and a plot akin to the style seen in games like Persona and Persona 2: Eternal Punishment. A truly talented writer can pull it off but there comes the question: am I one of those?
Of course, part of me, the part that’s an In Nomine and Spawn die-hard, wants to create a story that mixes elements from both worlds. I’ve always liked the way IN handled the good-evil conflict and how the concepts of Destiny and Fate were done. It makes sense to me that each of us has an ultimate evil that we can perform that will condemn us as well as an ultimate good that can redeem us. The fact that a good man can go to Hell just by not giving alms to one random beggar while a vicious torturer can be given access to Heaven for a single act of mercy appeals to me even as many would see it as unfair. The idea of Heaven and Hell being less clearly good and evil and more…morally neutral than religion portrays them also sits well with me. Although I dislike the concept of Words and how important human perception is to their power, as presented by IN, since it imposes a bit of an unusual limitation and makes humans too important. Still, the only alternatives I know of that I think make sense would be the Buffyverse version (like The First and Wolfram & Hart’s Senior Partners) and the Lovecraftian idea of tossing good and evil out the window since such things don’t matter in the grander scheme of things. However, such a project and the scope it would entail isn’t quite something I think I can handle just yet. Though the idea lends itself too well to me for me to ignore it for very long.
Well, I think I better go on for now. I’ve got to wrap my head around the concept and characters in my head. This may take a while…
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