Get To Work, Goddamnit!

I am lazy, there is no disputing that. However, despite that, I try to actually get my work done and, for all intents and purposes, I am actually in the office, trying to get my work done. This isn't always the best approach to work but it does mean I am there when needed, and I am able to get to work whenever I have to. Combine that with the fact that I usually finish my work early and I figure I'm a half-decent employee, a functional component of the corporate machine.

However, the same cannot be said of one of my co-workers.

I've come to learn to adjust to how my co-workers are. For the most part, I don't mind some of their stranger habits, in the same way that they don't mind mine. In other words, we've found a way to get along with one another by enduring the things we don't like, and playing off of the things we like about each other. This is, of course, including those little things that make their way into every relationship, regardless of nature. Those little conflicts and minor instances, and the way that some people just won't tell another person they don't like them to their face.

However, like any system, there will always be one problem component. Oddly, in this case, the problem component is not me.

There's this one writer, you see. He tends to just get up and disappear for random spans of time no less than 30 minutes. For the most part, many of us don't notice him leave, and we generally don't notice him come back. Sometimes he'll leave for lunchbreak and not come back until hours afterwards, with no explanation of why it took him so long or where he went after he ate. This wouldn't be so bad if it happened only occasionally, but it happens on a daily basis. You can probably imagine this gets...frustrating after a while.

For the most part, though, I ignored it. He was managing to complete his work, even if it did take significantly longer than it should have. After all, at least he seems to know he has no right to complain about the lack of time to do the work since he's only in the office...what? Half the time or something?

But this morning was...well, it was what one might consider the last straw. He's here before I get to work, which is not unusual. At some point, he leaves. Nobody seems to have noticed this happen. He leaves no word of where he's going or what he's doing. He's gone until about half an hour before lunch. He just comes in and sits down as if he just took a short trip to the bathroom to wash his hands or something. He was gone for...about 3 to 4 hours, damnit. And up until literally just a few seconds ago, he was gone again.

At first, it was weird. After a while, I figured I could just ignore it. A bit more, and I started wondering just where in the fucking Nine Hells this guy goes. Then I got frustrated, because he keeps coming and going like he owns the place and never seems to get anything done on time whenever he does. And now? Now I'm just god-fucking annoyed by it.

I know we've all got other stuff to take care of, but would it kill you to spend most of your work hours at your actual workplace?

Goddamnit, man! You were hired to work for a set number of hours (or be in the office, at the very least), so have the decency to actually be there.

Study Starcraft For College

No, really.

Course Description:
UC Berkeley students with an interest in real-time strategy games and the competitive gaming landscape are encouraged to participate in this class.
This course will go in-depth in the theory of how war is conducted within the confines of the game Starcraft. There will be lecture on various aspects of the game, from the viewpoint of pure theory to the more computational aspects of how exactly battles are conducted. Calculus and Differential Equations are highly recommended for full understanding of the course. Furthermore, the class will take the theoretical into the practical world by analyzing games and replays to reinforce decision-making skills and advanced Starcraft theory.
Class will start with lecture and usually include a special discussion topic having to do with the day’s lecture to inspire new and original thought. At the end of lecture, there may be time to analyze student-submitted replays to illustrate a point or to improve analysis. Homework will be assigned at the end of each class and is due at the beginning of each lecture.


Course Learning Objectives and Goals:
What may look like complex topics are just ways we want you to think more deeply about the game to derive a greater satisfaction from playing. Furthermore, this understanding should have applications in real life, to further synthesize new information from limited inferences. The primary goal is for students to learn, enjoy the art of competitive StarCraft, and have fun. Overall, students will be applying critical thinking, quick decision-making, and game theory skills throughout the sessions. Students will also learn what to look for in a replay or game to learn most effectively.

Kids in UC - Berkeley can take this up for college credits?

Dutiful Service

Pictured above is a Treo 650, which is also the model of my phone. I like naming my gadgets, and I've named my phone Violet.

I've had Violet with me since my first job, and she's been one of my favorite pieces of technology ever since. Word processing, phone functions, and a handy list of small notes that keeps me from conveniently forgetting most of the things I need to remember. This has become a staple of my life, and I'm as attached to it as I am to any of my friends - as disturbing as that may sound.

So I'm kind of sad to find that she's been damaged. There's a bit of a crack on the casing, and it's dangerously close to the screen. So I want to have it fixed now, before it gets to the screen itself and causes me all sorts of problems getting it fixed. If it even can be fixed by that point.

I'd be able to get Violet repaired now if I somehow managed to lose a wad of cash. I swear, that was in my wallet when I went to sleep.

Note to self: blog about the weird way things just disappear in the house at some point.

Oh, and something for you all to enjoy:

Reflecting Pool

I don't know, where to go, what's the right team?
I want my own thing. I want my own thing!
I can't choose, so confused! What's it all mean?
I want my own dream. So bad I'm gonna scream!

This...so frighteningly fits how I see myself nowadays. You see, I've come to understand that I've become a bit of a reflecting pool. The honest truth is that, for a long time now, I've not been sure what I wanted to do, or even if I wanted to do anything at all. I've come to end up reflecting what other people want me to do or be, or what appears to be that.

I don't work because I want to. I work because people around me expect me to, and to some degree, want me to hold down a job and become a contributing member of a society that honestly could not possibly care less about me. I work because I'm told I need to work, that I'm worthless unless I do. Note that these same people tell me I'm worthless even if I am working, which is hardly a good thing for my self-esteem, but that's not the topic here.

I've figured out I don't actually want anything out of life. Sure, I act like I do, and I often talk about how nice it would be if I had certain things or achievements, but deep down, I realize I don't want any of that. I do it because I feel I have to, because I'm expected to, and because people want it for me. But I don't want it for myself.

I've become a reflection of what people want from me, but have come to understand that, really, I don't want anything for myself. I manage to get by with the appearance of wanting things, but those are really little more than ways for me to keep myself occupied when I'm not doing anything else. All I can imagine myself wanting right now is the chance to take out my frustrations and my anger, preferably with as much violence and property damage as I can muster. Or scream, but the first option sounds more interesting.

It's quite a realization. To come to understand that you're essentially nothing, that you want nothing that you can truly claim to want for yourself...it's kind of unnerving. Leaves one feeling quite empty.

Bang!

Because I'm lazy.

New Year, Old Interest

A few years ago, I watched this relaxing anime about the life of girls in a Catholic high school. It was very serene, largely lacking in antagonism or drama, and described by many I've encountered as rather dull. Still, I watched it and fell in love with it.

There's just something very lovable about it. There's conflict, but it's very mundane compared to most. Everyday, one might say. Nothing here happens that can't happen in real life, which is pretty much a good thing, considering the setting is very realistic in itself. The cast is solid and easy to find yourself becoming attached to en masse, yet picking a favorite isn't hard.

There's a certain air of calm and warmth to the show, something that makes it hard not to appreciate it once you get into the subtle drama and inter-character politics of it. The show isn't for everyone, and is definitely not for people who are looking for fast-paced excitement or flashy fights.

Anyway. Now I hear there's a new season coming up, and I just had to spend my free time watching the previous seasons. I needed to catch-up, and the show is definitely better on the second viewing than the first. Now I'm eagerly awaiting how they handle events after the 3rd season, and whether or not Touko and Yumi's interactions would be adequate replacement for the wonder of Yumi and Sachiko's interactions.

So now I sit and wait for the new season to start airing and get subbed.

Until then, enjoy some warmth and calm from Yumi and Sachiko.