One Bad Day

Currently Listening To: "Aria de Mezzo Carattere," from Final Fantasy VI. The last true Final Fantasy game.

Currently Watching: my hand move. Because I damn well can.

Currently Plotting: the bloody murder of two particular individuals who have recently made life just that touch bit more annoying and unbearable.

For no particular reason, I feel thoroughly displeased this particular Friday. I don't know the reasons for this, just that I am. It isn't the work, which I've finally talked myself into accepting as some sort of advanced taste of what Hell must be like for folks like me. It isn't that I seem to be able to find less and less time to write Cecilia & Mint during the weekdays, though I'm practically crapping out ideas for The Ramblings of Naga, which is a fantasy-styled piece I'm currently outlining. No, I suspect this particularly bad day is caused by something else, though I can't put my finger on what.

It isn't in the playlist on my MP3 player, seeing as how I updated it last night with some of my favorite anime and video game tracks. It can't be my lack of anime to watch at home, though I am sorely in need of watching Sister Princess right now. I'm pretty sure it isn't my abject inability to rip and tear and rend and mutilate the "management" of my office for this ridiculous additional work they're having me (and the rest of the writers) put up with without any additional pay. No, that's not it either. This is highly unusual for me, particularly because I tend to know why I have bad days.

Even "Hare Hare Yukai" (bless that song) isn't helping much.

In any case, I suppose my mood will lift when I get home and start working on Cecilia & Mint again. Yes, I'm still stuck on Chapter 8, and I doubt that I'll finish that any time soon. I've already made preparations to momentarily halt my brief return to fanfiction writing, if only to focus on the more important project. Despite the lack of comments on my work, I'm confident I can finish this piece, if only because this one has a cast of characters that are very, very dear to me.

As for my other original fiction project, The Ramblings of Naga, that's a different story. It has always bothered me that tales of sword-and-sorcery have a tendency to make the main character either a noble swordsman or a crafty mage of some sort. Sure, there are those rare exceptions, but that appears to be the general rule of things. Also, I've found the portrayal of magic to be a little too convenient and plain, even if it comes off as a strict discipline. I've always liked the portrayal of magic as shown by the Tremere Clan of White Wolf's Vampire: The Masquerade games.

In other words, magic is a slow, arduous, long task that produces potent results. The art is hardly one that is to be taken so lightly that one only needs make an incantation. So I've decided that for the "Naga" world, I'm going to use the pattern that the Tremere Clan established. In other words, the spells will be performed through long rituals and with deadly consequences for mistakes made during the casting. It'll be useless in the thick of combat, unless prepared beforehand. Or if you're calling upon the power of a superior being. You'll get it when I start writing how things work, but that might be a while from now. I have no intention of starting this piece until I reach Chapter 10 of Cecilia & Mint.

I'm eagerly awaiting the second season of Suzumiya Haruhi, which I hear is based on volume 4 of the novels, The Disappearance of Suzumiya Haruhi. This should be entertaining, as I think that novel (out of all of them) really explored Kyon's true feelings for the eccentricities and oddities that surround him, as well as provided the largest proof of a romantic connection between him and Haruhi since "The Kiss That Saved The World. Maybe." from volume 1. I have difficulty imagining how they'll pull off having a show where the main character doesn't appear until much later, however. Though I guess they can pull in incidents from the other books to fill in the gaps, much like they did for the first season. Naturally, episodes aired in non-chronological order is a must if they take that approach.

On a random thought, I doubt this is a bad enough day to drive me crazy and turn into the Joker. If you didn't get that reference, you clearly aren't a fan of the Batman graphic novel Batman: The Killing Joke. Oh, that was a good one. And I firmly believe in the Joker's theory that one really bad day is all someone needs to snap, become insane, and do things that they'd not have done under normal circumstances. While I'm not ready to fully accept the idea that society and sanity are fundamentally flawed concepts and should be discarded for mass insanity, I'm dangerously close to accepting his theory. After all, in the end, we're all nuts.

To quote:
"Madness is the emergency exit — you can just walk out on all the horrible things that happened and lock them away forever!"

Oh yes, I'm having a bad day. Just not that bad. Yet.

Well, rotten days are a dime a dozen in this office, anyway. I really should be used to it by now.

The Hell?!

Your Brain is 53% Female, 47% Male

Your brain is a healthy mix of male and female You are both sensitive and savvy Rational and reasonable, you tend to keep level headed But you also tend to wear your heart on your sleeve

What Gender Is Your Brain?

This is...actually, now that I think about it, it does seem pretty accurate.

Anyway, moving along...

Nothing much has changed. I still hate, hate, hate, hate, hate the "management." Incompetent, inadequate, idiots that they are. I'm still working on Cecilia & Mint, which is progressing nicely. Maybe I'll put up the entire first chapter in the blog some day, if I ever feel like it. Make the most of my resources, and all that. I'm also re-watching two specific anime series: Slayers and Tsukikage Ran. The latter I just watch for kicks, the former I watch for the character known as Naga, the White Serpent.



Yes, definitely watch it for Naga.

Anyway, that's all for now. I'm feeling lazy because I couldn't scour the elections for cash.

Cry. Scream. Die. Rinse. Repeat.

There are days when it just isn't worth the effort to get out of bed anymore...

This feels like one of them. It's Thursday and, to quote Arthur Dent (The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy), "I never could get the hang of Thursdays." Work is what it has become, as of late. Work. This, interestingly enough, is a seizure-inducingly bad thing. You see, my current project is about to be replaced with something that I know nothing about and, unlike my current project (which I knew nothing about when I started this whole mess), I thoroughly don't want to know anything about. There's a certain degree of incompetence involved in this management decision to put this new project on my plate (though I can't say I know when I'll be starting this torment), which I believe is proof enough that the higher up the chain of command you are, the more incompetent you are.

I think the words that best describe my daily thoughts on this matter are as follows:

"Another drab, dreary project with which to dull my creative skills. Joy."

Despite this, I am still here. One must wonder where I get this energy (or idiotic loyalty, depends on which of the voices in my head you ask) from. I suppose it stems from my innate desire to just keep writing, regardless of a majority of external factors. Yes, that's probably the case. Still, no words can possibly fathom the hatred I have for the people running the company I'm in. As I've said multiple times before, I'm underpaid, under-appreciated, overworked, and I'm damn tired of it. Right now, there are only a few things that give me comfort.

First, my little unconventional love story, Cecilia & Mint. I swear, not a single idea in that story is original. Then again, human beings stopped having original ideas a long time ago. Still, who would have thought I'd actually enjoy narrating that particular story? I mean, I'm crazy and all, but this story just explores the depths of how nuts I am, not to mention everyone else that's played an important role in my life. Still, I have the outline for this one set and, oddly, despite all the distractions and things that get in the way, I fully intend to finish it. Not an easy task, considering my writing of Chapter 8 is sluggish and I've got 60 chapters planned for this baby.

This is a love story I can really get into, oddly enough. There's hardly anything romantic about it, though some areas wax a little too philosophical for its own good. Still, I like writing the characters (particularly the currently nameless narrator, Cecilia, and Mint) and I feel comfortable tapping into the inner voices of my mind to characterize them. They give voice to my madness, which no fictional character really deserves to be burdened with. Days like this, I wish I could draw. Maybe then I'd add illustrations to the text, add that extra kick to it that I think would make it better. Oh well. Back to writing Chapter 8. At this rate, I'll be 45 before I finish the whole thing.

Second comfort in life would be the Haruhi Suzumiya series. Not since H2G2 have I felt so compelled to love a series of novels. There's a certain madness needed to actually enjoy these books at the obsessive level that I'm in, but they're worth it. Why? Because deep down, somewhere in our subconscious mind, every person out there has had dreams of being something like Haruhi Suzumiya. I'm inclined to think that, at one point, that boundless energy and imagination is something that all humans went through. Sure, the book can be a bit confusing to read sometimes, but the strain is worth it. Yes, Haruhiism is a great comfort to me.

Third is the idea that, at some point in my life, I'm going to get out of this mess I've walked right into. One day, I'm going to finally accomplish my goal of getting a novel out. I have no delusions of getting it into the New York Times Bestseller's list. Right now, I'd be content just to get a damn thing published. When that day comes, find me and shoot me, because I can die happy. I'm hoping it'll be Cecilia & Mint, but I'd be content if it was anything original I've written.

As pointed out by a friend of mine, I seem to have developed a fascination for characters portrayed (voiced) by Natsuki Kuwatani. Two roles of hers, in particular, stand out for me. Kanako Urashima of Love Hina Again (the OVA) and Ryoko Asakura of Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuutsu. A friend of mine, Tuxedo Jack, believes this fascination may eventually extend to include Kuwatani herself. Unlikely, as the only voice actresses I've ever found to my tastes are Aya Hirano and Maaya Sakamoto. Still, considering my mental state, I wouldn't put it past myself.

On a final note, election time is coming. Like my cousin, I have no intention of voting. Everyone knows the people casting the votes don't determine the election results. The people counting the votes do. Thank you for that overwhelmingly intelligent piece of wisdom, Joseph Stalin. However, I do plan on cruising the local vote-buyers and getting as much money out of them as possible. I could use the extra cash, honestly.

Now, I end with this paraphrased conversation from H2G2:

Marvin, the Paranoid Android: I have an intellect the size of a planet. Go ahead. Pick a number. Any number.

Mattress: Five.

Marvin, the Paranoid Android: Wrong. See?

And the mattress took that as a sign of great intelligence.

Once More, With Feeling (Again!)

How did that song go again? Oh yeah...

Where do we go
From here?
Why is the path unclear
When we know home is near?


No, I think this other song fits my mood better...

I don't wanna be...
Going through the motions
Losing all my drive
I can't even see
If this is really me
And I just wanna be...
Alive!

Yes. That sums up my current mood rather nicely.

I'm tired. Months of writing about nothing but the [removed for security purposes, pardon my sarcasm] is grinding. I have a couple of projects that keep my mind occupied and otherwise creatively enthused, but this is ridiculous. My story, Cecilia & Mint, is progressing nicely, though I've stalled at the start of Chapter 8: Sith Lords. This is because of some minor complications that force me to do something I long thought I abandoned and I consider something rather distasteful.

Fanfiction.

Yes, I'm writing fanfiction again. To be specific, Avatar: The Last Airbender fanfiction. Though part of me wants to drag in the Haruhi Suzumiya series into this "revival" of my old habit. Right now, I'm actually rather low-key (which contrasts with how I ended my Love Hina fanfiction days: as a god), though I've only got two pieces in so far. Hitsuzen is a Ty Lee/Jin story, with the appropriate shoujo-ai warnings. The other one isn't even worth mentioning, really. However, I do have two others in mind that I'm only starting to plan.

I'll get back to Cecilia & Mint when I finish writing Hitsuzen, which should be about 7 to 9 days from now. Or I'll start plotting out my other original fiction idea, entitled Rise, God-King.

Anyway, I'm bored with work. I'm tired of what they're having me write. I hate the system and the rules and the idiotic demands, such as giving me something to write and sending me the instructions on how the client wants it written a week later! I'm tired of the crappy chair that offers terrible back support, has an uncomfortable seat, and makes sounds at the slightest movement. I'm tired of the crappy Ubuntu OS and the good-for-nothing mouse that I have to work with. I'm tired of being over-worked and underpaid and being expected to deliver god-like levels of quality when I'm barely being paid jack-shit, and shit just left the building!

Mind you, I'm not tired of writing. However, I am tired of the circumstances that at work that force me into writing the same drab garbage over and over. Well, I probably wouldn't mind it so much if the whole thing didn't bring in so little cash.

As for Spider-man 3, it was a good film. I just didn't like the choice of using the Ultimate Marvel version of Venom in the film's universe. I'm not too fond of the New Goblin idea either, though I guess that does lend more closure to Harry Osborn's situation in the film than the traditional comic outcome would have. I don't like the portrayal of Gwen Stacy either. However, I did like the very human element that they added to Flint "The Sandman" Marko.

I hope Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End fares better.

And my left ankle hurts like Hell if I keep it still, if I put any weight or pressure on it, if I walk on it, or even so much as breathe on it.

Sometimes, I just can't get a break.

I can lay my body down
But I can't find my sweet release
So let me
Rest In Peace...