And though I had slain a thousand foes less one,
The thousandth knife found my liver;
The thousandth enemy said to me,
'Now you shall die,
Now none shall know.'
And the fool, looking down, believed this,
Not seeing, above his shoulders, the naked stars,
Each one remembering.
--John M. Ford, The Final Reflection

The Asylum Director

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"The only thing I was fit for was to be a writer, and this rested solely on my suspicion that I would never be fit for real work, and that writing didn't require any." - Russel Baker

Wednesday, May 02, 2007

Once More, With Feeling (Again!)

How did that song go again? Oh yeah...

Where do we go
From here?
Why is the path unclear
When we know home is near?

No, I think this other song fits my mood better...

I don't wanna be...
Going through the motions
Losing all my drive
I can't even see
If this is really me
And I just wanna be...

Yes. That sums up my current mood rather nicely.

I'm tired. Months of writing about nothing but the [removed for security purposes, pardon my sarcasm] is grinding. I have a couple of projects that keep my mind occupied and otherwise creatively enthused, but this is ridiculous. My story, Cecilia & Mint, is progressing nicely, though I've stalled at the start of Chapter 8: Sith Lords. This is because of some minor complications that force me to do something I long thought I abandoned and I consider something rather distasteful.


Yes, I'm writing fanfiction again. To be specific, Avatar: The Last Airbender fanfiction. Though part of me wants to drag in the Haruhi Suzumiya series into this "revival" of my old habit. Right now, I'm actually rather low-key (which contrasts with how I ended my Love Hina fanfiction days: as a god), though I've only got two pieces in so far. Hitsuzen is a Ty Lee/Jin story, with the appropriate shoujo-ai warnings. The other one isn't even worth mentioning, really. However, I do have two others in mind that I'm only starting to plan.

I'll get back to Cecilia & Mint when I finish writing Hitsuzen, which should be about 7 to 9 days from now. Or I'll start plotting out my other original fiction idea, entitled Rise, God-King.

Anyway, I'm bored with work. I'm tired of what they're having me write. I hate the system and the rules and the idiotic demands, such as giving me something to write and sending me the instructions on how the client wants it written a week later! I'm tired of the crappy chair that offers terrible back support, has an uncomfortable seat, and makes sounds at the slightest movement. I'm tired of the crappy Ubuntu OS and the good-for-nothing mouse that I have to work with. I'm tired of being over-worked and underpaid and being expected to deliver god-like levels of quality when I'm barely being paid jack-shit, and shit just left the building!

Mind you, I'm not tired of writing. However, I am tired of the circumstances that at work that force me into writing the same drab garbage over and over. Well, I probably wouldn't mind it so much if the whole thing didn't bring in so little cash.

As for Spider-man 3, it was a good film. I just didn't like the choice of using the Ultimate Marvel version of Venom in the film's universe. I'm not too fond of the New Goblin idea either, though I guess that does lend more closure to Harry Osborn's situation in the film than the traditional comic outcome would have. I don't like the portrayal of Gwen Stacy either. However, I did like the very human element that they added to Flint "The Sandman" Marko.

I hope Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End fares better.

And my left ankle hurts like Hell if I keep it still, if I put any weight or pressure on it, if I walk on it, or even so much as breathe on it.

Sometimes, I just can't get a break.

I can lay my body down
But I can't find my sweet release
So let me
Rest In Peace...

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