I do so love the sweet smell of death in the morning.
When I woke up today, I had expected this to be a rather unremarkable period. Nothing was different, other than the incessant playing of "Stairway to Heaven" by Led Zeppelin in my head. In fact, the whole day seemed like it was set to be just another one of those days that started too early and can't possibly end soon enough the moment I walked into the office. Then, Fate threw me a bone.
I don't normally run into a whole lot of my former Intelligraph (or Intellicrap, as I prefer to call it). When I do, it usually doesn't add up to much unless it was a party, or something. You see, it isn't all that often that I bump into someone that's still working there. Why is this an event of prominence and some measure of importance to me, you may ask? Well, it is simply because this time around, I heard a few little things that brought a twisted little smile to my face. For all intents and purposes, it would appear that the company I have dubbed "Worst. Employer. Ever." is starting to collapse in on itself.
And I couldn't be happier, even if I orchestrated it myself.
You see, back when I was still there, there were quite a few people and two primary divisions. First was dubbed "E-mail Support," which was smaller than the other division (which I worked in). A few of them were annoying and got on my nerves, but for the most part, they seemed like genuinely nice people. There were more than a dozen people there, though I'm not entirely sure the division ever managed to go above 20 people while I was there. It certainly didn't look to be expanding at the time. Well, it certainly can't expand anymore, if what I've been told is true. You see, I just learned that the entire division --- from top to bottom --- is now gone. Dissolved. Terminated. Wham-bam, thank you ma'am.
Typical Intelligraph procedure, really.
Now, what about the other division? Said other division, "Text Content Services," was what I worked in (read: made a corporate slave of myself in) for a grand total of nine months. What happened to that department? Well, if what I was told earlier is of absolute veracity, then the department, itself, survives. However, there have been some drastic changes. Now, I know that after I left, people in the TCS division started leaving one after another. The resignations were happening even before I left, mind you, but not with the same frequency as afterwards. In one friend's words, "natauhan na." In English, the most accurate (but indirect) translation would be to say that they finally had their "eureka!" moment.
As I said, the division survived, but not entirely intact. From what I was told, there isn't any of the experienced, older writers left. Not a single one. Former editors? Gone. Former writers? Gone. Anyone with even a modicum of writing talent and some grasp of the basics of English writing grammar and style? Look somewhere else. If what I've been hearing is true, and even if it isn't entirely true so long as part of it is, then the ones that got left behind are a bunch of no-talent hacks who can't write their way into kindergarten (let alone out of it!) that are only there because they can be controlled.
What's more, there's only 11 of them now. For a company that was expanding to the point that it considered promoting me to editor sometime near the end of my tenure (I turned it down), the drop is incredible. I know I should be sad, but I can't help but laugh at what's going on. 11 no-talent hacks are, essentially, the only thing keeping that sinking ship from going the way of the HMS Titanic? Does that idiot of a boss actually believe that the company is going to survive --- let alone profit --- with 11 no-talent hacks being the only things keeping it from sinking? I realize rats flee sinking ships, but one must wonder what happens if the rats themselves don't realize the ship is sinking? Intelligraph Corporation is doomed.
Doomed!
Anyone with even the slightest bit of talent has either left, or is well on the way out.
So, are we approaching the end days of the one company that I truly, truly want to see ruined and its owners reduced to being so poor that even the beggars of the street are better off than they are? I sure hope so.
So here's to Intelligraph Corporation and its incomprehensibly idiotic boss, Gene Cruz.
May your business be like a pleasure cruise.
Named the HMS Titanic.
And though I had slain a thousand foes less one,
The thousandth knife found my liver;
The thousandth enemy said to me,
'Now you shall die,
Now none shall know.'
And the fool, looking down, believed this,
Not seeing, above his shoulders, the naked stars,
Each one remembering.
--John M. Ford, The Final Reflection
The thousandth knife found my liver;
The thousandth enemy said to me,
'Now you shall die,
Now none shall know.'
And the fool, looking down, believed this,
Not seeing, above his shoulders, the naked stars,
Each one remembering.
--John M. Ford, The Final Reflection
The Asylum Director
- VIIIofSwords
- "The only thing I was fit for was to be a writer, and this rested solely on my suspicion that I would never be fit for real work, and that writing didn't require any." - Russel Baker
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Rules For Breaking-Up
Everyone I know seems to be breaking up lately. Okay, not quite everyone, but a disturbingly large number of the girls I know seem to be ending both short and long-term relationships lately. Normally, this wouldn't be a problem. My long, torturous years in Siena College have made me largely...apathetic to such events unless the girls involved are my friends, or I'm told of these events directly (at which point, I tend to consider it as part of my business to meddle in it). However, this current trend I'm starting to notice is something I'd call "disruptive" because of two reasons.
First, I'm actually being made aware of them happening, rather than hearing about them at a much later date.
Second, they all seem to be initiated by the guy. Rather badly, I might add.
These have led me to realize something. There really ought to be some set, firm ground rules for breaking-up. Even if the guy is the one getting the ball rolling. Especially if the guy is the one getting the ball rolling, being the idiotic, emotionally-inept fools that we are.
At some point, I'm sure I'm going to attract all sorts of criticisms and attacks for what I'm about to do, not to mention a whole lot of statements about how I'm hardly qualified to be talking about this, but I'll do it anyway. I suppose pointing out that this is strictly what I think is appropriate, right, and decent would be useless? Thought so.
So, at risk of being ridiculed and attacked, I present:
Proposed Ground Rules For Breaking-Up
Rule #1:
Do It In Person
The fact is, modern communications technology has made what was once a delicate and unwelcome dance all too easy and all too impersonal. Men, rather than being gentle about things, have become spineless cowards that hide behind the iron curtain of texting and e-mail. This, of course, generally does not bode well for the girl. So do it in person.
Why do it in person? Well, for one thing, it would be the decent thing to do. It also happens to be the proper thing to do. By avoiding being in person when breaking up with someone, that only shows that you don't have the cajones to handle the immediate emotional reaction and backlash that it might cause. If you're going to end something like a relationship, at the very least be there to witness (or be the target of) the reaction. The other party (or parties) deserves at least that much.
There are, of course, a few exceptions. Which leads me to...
Rule #2:
State Your Reasons Clearly
Don't even get me started on the excuses being used. Or rather, over-used. "It's not you, it's me." "I've fallen out of love with you." "I've found someone else." "I just don't feel it anymore." To paraphrase a friend, girls are suckers for sappy romance stories, but they're not so stupid as to fall for the same lines that are used in them. I doubt that most guys actually believe that it works, but are stupid enough to try them anyway.
When you break up with someone, at least have the decency to be specific about your reasons. Tell them exactly what made them come to the decision to end it, rather than attempt to resolve things. Don't expect them to buy something stupid, inane, puerile, or cliche. Damn it, at least have the spine to tell them what you think is wrong with them or the relationship. You may think you're doing them a favor by telling them you're the problem, but more often than not, such statements tend to have an effect similar to reverse psychology.
Rule #3:
Be Gentle
Just because you're ending the relationship doesn't mean you have to be a jerk about it. Just because chivalry is in a coma doesn't mean you have to treat her like dirt when you break up with her. Just because women (theoretically) have equal rights now doesn't mean you get to treat him like a little puppy dog you can kick around.
The fact is, there are emotions in play in these things. In fact, these events tend to be emotional minefields. As such, these should be navigated carefully, and with a lot of tact. Unless the decision was mutual, there's bound to be quite a bit of emotional backlash with this sort of thing. If you're any sort of decent human being, you're going to be there in person, so being gentle in doing this helps reduce the venom and bile being thrown at you as well as the unsettling feelings that the other half of the equation is going to feel.
Besides, being gentle might (key word: MIGHT) help you avoid the problem of having a psychotic ex. (Note to self: write a guide about surviving psychotic ex-girlfriends/ex-boyfriends in the future.)
Edit:
I can't believe I forgot about this one.
Rule #4:
Be Honest
Sparing her/his feelings is all well and good, but if you lie to her at a time and moment like this, you're just awful. You're already breaking up, so there's no reason to sugarcoat anything or outright lie to them if you have not done anything. If you have, then at least have the basic human decency to come clean about it. You wouldn't want them to find out about your inexcusable behavior behind their back at a later date, do you? Sure, being honest about something sensitive (such as this girl I was together with once, until she realized she and I were interested in the same thing: girls; she went on to hook up with my other ex-girlfriend) might cause a lot more emotional backlash, but at least you're sparing yourself the trouble of having to worry about dealing with it at a later date.
------------------------------
Damn. I'm bound to get into all sorts of trouble for this.
Eh, nothing I haven't done before.
First, I'm actually being made aware of them happening, rather than hearing about them at a much later date.
Second, they all seem to be initiated by the guy. Rather badly, I might add.
These have led me to realize something. There really ought to be some set, firm ground rules for breaking-up. Even if the guy is the one getting the ball rolling. Especially if the guy is the one getting the ball rolling, being the idiotic, emotionally-inept fools that we are.
At some point, I'm sure I'm going to attract all sorts of criticisms and attacks for what I'm about to do, not to mention a whole lot of statements about how I'm hardly qualified to be talking about this, but I'll do it anyway. I suppose pointing out that this is strictly what I think is appropriate, right, and decent would be useless? Thought so.
So, at risk of being ridiculed and attacked, I present:
Proposed Ground Rules For Breaking-Up
Rule #1:
Do It In Person
The fact is, modern communications technology has made what was once a delicate and unwelcome dance all too easy and all too impersonal. Men, rather than being gentle about things, have become spineless cowards that hide behind the iron curtain of texting and e-mail. This, of course, generally does not bode well for the girl. So do it in person.
Why do it in person? Well, for one thing, it would be the decent thing to do. It also happens to be the proper thing to do. By avoiding being in person when breaking up with someone, that only shows that you don't have the cajones to handle the immediate emotional reaction and backlash that it might cause. If you're going to end something like a relationship, at the very least be there to witness (or be the target of) the reaction. The other party (or parties) deserves at least that much.
There are, of course, a few exceptions. Which leads me to...
Corollary #1:
The Acceptability Scale
In Person - Advised and practically required, as this is the only proper way to go about this business. Reasons have already been explained.
Phone Calls - In the event that something logical and uncontrollable is getting in the way of doing it in person. Barring truly exceptional circumstances, the only reasons for this to be acceptable would be geographical distance or medical reasons.
Hand-Written Letters - This is acceptable only if a face-to-face encounter is going to happen later on, if you can actually write something that's worth more than the paper you're writing on, or if distance is an issue and there's no phone line. While letters written during the relationship can be romantic (depends on the girl, me thinks), using one to break-up is hardly an example of good form.
E-Mail - Bad form. In general, if they have Internet access, they likely have either a mailing address or a phone line. In most cases, they have both. Seeing as how you've got two more acceptable alternatives, why not use them? Besides, not everyone checks their inboxes on a regular basis.
Text Message/Instant Messaging - Utterly inexcusable. If you've got a cellphone, call her instead. I suspect most girls would rather get an e-mail than this. It's rude, it's impersonal, it's callous, and in most cases, it's even insulting. You're already ending a relationship that the other party might have invested quite a bit of emotion in, you don't need to add salt to the wound too.
The Silent Treatment - I'd consider you scum for even thinking about this. I'd consider this acceptable if you're friends but don't get to regularly see or speak to one another (I do it all the time), but in a relationship scenario, this has the potential to be outright cruelty. The potential reactions to this can vary, but in general, this is just a bad, bad idea.
Rule #2:
State Your Reasons Clearly
Don't even get me started on the excuses being used. Or rather, over-used. "It's not you, it's me." "I've fallen out of love with you." "I've found someone else." "I just don't feel it anymore." To paraphrase a friend, girls are suckers for sappy romance stories, but they're not so stupid as to fall for the same lines that are used in them. I doubt that most guys actually believe that it works, but are stupid enough to try them anyway.
When you break up with someone, at least have the decency to be specific about your reasons. Tell them exactly what made them come to the decision to end it, rather than attempt to resolve things. Don't expect them to buy something stupid, inane, puerile, or cliche. Damn it, at least have the spine to tell them what you think is wrong with them or the relationship. You may think you're doing them a favor by telling them you're the problem, but more often than not, such statements tend to have an effect similar to reverse psychology.
Rule #3:
Be Gentle
Just because you're ending the relationship doesn't mean you have to be a jerk about it. Just because chivalry is in a coma doesn't mean you have to treat her like dirt when you break up with her. Just because women (theoretically) have equal rights now doesn't mean you get to treat him like a little puppy dog you can kick around.
The fact is, there are emotions in play in these things. In fact, these events tend to be emotional minefields. As such, these should be navigated carefully, and with a lot of tact. Unless the decision was mutual, there's bound to be quite a bit of emotional backlash with this sort of thing. If you're any sort of decent human being, you're going to be there in person, so being gentle in doing this helps reduce the venom and bile being thrown at you as well as the unsettling feelings that the other half of the equation is going to feel.
Besides, being gentle might (key word: MIGHT) help you avoid the problem of having a psychotic ex. (Note to self: write a guide about surviving psychotic ex-girlfriends/ex-boyfriends in the future.)
Edit:
I can't believe I forgot about this one.
Rule #4:
Be Honest
Sparing her/his feelings is all well and good, but if you lie to her at a time and moment like this, you're just awful. You're already breaking up, so there's no reason to sugarcoat anything or outright lie to them if you have not done anything. If you have, then at least have the basic human decency to come clean about it. You wouldn't want them to find out about your inexcusable behavior behind their back at a later date, do you? Sure, being honest about something sensitive (such as this girl I was together with once, until she realized she and I were interested in the same thing: girls; she went on to hook up with my other ex-girlfriend) might cause a lot more emotional backlash, but at least you're sparing yourself the trouble of having to worry about dealing with it at a later date.
------------------------------
Damn. I'm bound to get into all sorts of trouble for this.
Eh, nothing I haven't done before.
Monday, January 21, 2008
Excellent News
The previously announced fourth season of the Maria-sama ga Miteru school anime series has now been confirmed for television broadcast. The third "season" was released on home video instead of on television. Shueisha's Cobalt magazine had first revealed the plans for the fourth season in July, but voice actresses Kana Ueda (Yumi), Haruna Ikezawa (Yoshino), and Mamiko Noto (Shimako) had indicated in an interview that a television broadcast had been uncertain at that time.
The official website of the fictional Lillian All-Girls Catholic High School has also announced that the story's Rose Mansion will be recreated in the Second Life virtual world. Information on events and announcements will be posted there, and visitors will be free to explore the virtual locale. The virtual Rose Mansion will open on February 8 at 7:00 p.m., Japan Standard Time. Finally, Pizza Hut has begun delivering pizzas in the official Maria-sama ga Miteru boxes on January 7.
Source Link
Personally, I can't wait.
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Build Your Own Harem!
This is a simple game. If you could have a harem of 6 anime girls (plus one maid), who would you choose?
There are a few rules to this, however.
1. One character per series.
2. Twins and triplets and whatever else follows count as only one character.
3. The obligatory maid character should not be part of the harem itself.
4. Six harem members plus one maid only. No more, no less.
In my case, my choices are as follows:
Girl 1: Asakura Ryoko, Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuutsu
Why? Because she's a wonderful, helpful, cheerful soul. When she's not bent on ripping someone to pieces. I figure, so long as I'm not Kyon or a threat to the Integrated Sentient Data Entity, I'm not likely to get skewered by her. Also, knives are sexy. Clearly, Ryoko's the leader of this harem.
Girl 2: Fuyou Kaede, Shuffle!
The original yandere, if memory serves. Besides that, she's helpful around the house, is an excellent cook, is fiercely loyal, and is overall a pleasant person to be with. So long as you don't neglect her and all the good things she's doing for you. She can also easily perform the duties of a maid without taking up the maid slot.
Girl 3: Katsura Kotonoha, School Days
When she's not being psychotic and homicidal, she's actually a very sweet girl. She's not very good with the household things like Kaede is, but she makes up for it in smarts. Plus, I can probably talk her into reading my fiction, seeing as how she seems to like reading books. I think she'd appreciate a man who can not only appreciate, but actually stroke that intellectual side of her. Besides, she's obsessively loyal.
Girl 4: Matou Sakura, Fate/Stay Night
No, I'm talking about the version from the game Fate/Stay Night, not the less-than-perfect anime rendition. Sakura, like Kaede and Kotonoha before her, is really a nice girl. She's very sweet, very gentle, and overall, one of the nicest and most likable characters I've seen in recent times. Besides, putting her in my harem will take her away from that vile family and that harem-hogging Emiya Shirou. Also, Dark Sakura would be most handy in a fight, so long as I don't get in her way.
Girl 5: Sakai Chigusa, Shakugan no Shana
This is the first one to break from the established "mess with me and I'll kill you" pattern I've put in, don't you think? Regardless, she's a very accepting and accommodating woman, with quite a bit of wisdom and life experience. Plus, out of this whole group, she's probably the only normal one and I think every harem needs one --- and only one --- normal girl.
Girl 6: Fasalina, Gun x Sword
Kotonoha's loyalty, but without the psychotic tendencies. Ryoko's combat ability, but without the warm, cheerful facade. Chigusa's "older woman" appeal, but without the complication of being a mother. Plus she's just oozing with sex appeal.
The Maid: Hisui, Tsukihime
As with Sakura, I want the one from the game and not the "I deny that it even exists" anime version. Kohaku can cook, true. However, I already have Kaede for cooking, and Sakura for the days when she's not up to it. I do lack someone with the other necessary household skills, which is what Hisui is for. If I brought Kohaku in, I'd have to make room for them among the harem, and I don't want that kind of pressure.
There are a few rules to this, however.
1. One character per series.
2. Twins and triplets and whatever else follows count as only one character.
3. The obligatory maid character should not be part of the harem itself.
4. Six harem members plus one maid only. No more, no less.
In my case, my choices are as follows:
Girl 1: Asakura Ryoko, Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuutsu
Why? Because she's a wonderful, helpful, cheerful soul. When she's not bent on ripping someone to pieces. I figure, so long as I'm not Kyon or a threat to the Integrated Sentient Data Entity, I'm not likely to get skewered by her. Also, knives are sexy. Clearly, Ryoko's the leader of this harem.
Girl 2: Fuyou Kaede, Shuffle!
The original yandere, if memory serves. Besides that, she's helpful around the house, is an excellent cook, is fiercely loyal, and is overall a pleasant person to be with. So long as you don't neglect her and all the good things she's doing for you. She can also easily perform the duties of a maid without taking up the maid slot.
Girl 3: Katsura Kotonoha, School Days
When she's not being psychotic and homicidal, she's actually a very sweet girl. She's not very good with the household things like Kaede is, but she makes up for it in smarts. Plus, I can probably talk her into reading my fiction, seeing as how she seems to like reading books. I think she'd appreciate a man who can not only appreciate, but actually stroke that intellectual side of her. Besides, she's obsessively loyal.
Girl 4: Matou Sakura, Fate/Stay Night
No, I'm talking about the version from the game Fate/Stay Night, not the less-than-perfect anime rendition. Sakura, like Kaede and Kotonoha before her, is really a nice girl. She's very sweet, very gentle, and overall, one of the nicest and most likable characters I've seen in recent times. Besides, putting her in my harem will take her away from that vile family and that harem-hogging Emiya Shirou. Also, Dark Sakura would be most handy in a fight, so long as I don't get in her way.
Girl 5: Sakai Chigusa, Shakugan no Shana
This is the first one to break from the established "mess with me and I'll kill you" pattern I've put in, don't you think? Regardless, she's a very accepting and accommodating woman, with quite a bit of wisdom and life experience. Plus, out of this whole group, she's probably the only normal one and I think every harem needs one --- and only one --- normal girl.
Girl 6: Fasalina, Gun x Sword
Kotonoha's loyalty, but without the psychotic tendencies. Ryoko's combat ability, but without the warm, cheerful facade. Chigusa's "older woman" appeal, but without the complication of being a mother. Plus she's just oozing with sex appeal.
The Maid: Hisui, Tsukihime
As with Sakura, I want the one from the game and not the "I deny that it even exists" anime version. Kohaku can cook, true. However, I already have Kaede for cooking, and Sakura for the days when she's not up to it. I do lack someone with the other necessary household skills, which is what Hisui is for. If I brought Kohaku in, I'd have to make room for them among the harem, and I don't want that kind of pressure.
Monday, January 14, 2008
Currently Watching:
Various anime with psychotic female characters.
Higurashi No Naku Koro Ni
Who's Insane: Pretty much the entirety of the females in the cast, though Ryuuga Rena and Sonozaki Shion are pretty prominent in their psychosis.
Intro:
There's So Many Psycho Moments That It Makes Me Want To Cry Tears Of Joy:
School Days
Who's Insane: Kotonoha Katsura, though whether or not Sekai Saionji snapped for a moment in episode 12 is arguable.
Intro:
The Psycho Moment Near The End:
Shuffle!
Who's Insane: Fuyou Kaede, who is arguably the one that's been mentally unstable the longest among the girls on this selection, yet the one that does the least damage.
Intro:
Psycho Moment:
In many ways, insanity truly is one of those traits I find most attractive. There's just something about it that clicks with me. I also find it comforting, in ways only I and the thousands of voices in my head can truly understand.
Seriously. The worlds needs much, much less tsundere and more yandere and yangire.
On a side note: No, I am not watching Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha.
Higurashi No Naku Koro Ni
Who's Insane: Pretty much the entirety of the females in the cast, though Ryuuga Rena and Sonozaki Shion are pretty prominent in their psychosis.
Intro:
There's So Many Psycho Moments That It Makes Me Want To Cry Tears Of Joy:
School Days
Who's Insane: Kotonoha Katsura, though whether or not Sekai Saionji snapped for a moment in episode 12 is arguable.
Intro:
The Psycho Moment Near The End:
Shuffle!
Who's Insane: Fuyou Kaede, who is arguably the one that's been mentally unstable the longest among the girls on this selection, yet the one that does the least damage.
Intro:
Psycho Moment:
In many ways, insanity truly is one of those traits I find most attractive. There's just something about it that clicks with me. I also find it comforting, in ways only I and the thousands of voices in my head can truly understand.
Seriously. The worlds needs much, much less tsundere and more yandere and yangire.
On a side note: No, I am not watching Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha.
Saturday, January 12, 2008
Gripe#13: A Return To Corporate Exploitation
Disclaimer: In the highly unlikely event that any of the locally-based higher-ups of Ascend Asia are reading this, this is not meant to be an attack on you. I firmly understand that the things I have written about here are not under your control and you're probably (but unlikely to be) just as annoyed as I am. This is, however, an attack of the people above you. The ones running the show.
Hold on tight, folks. This is going to be a long, bumpy ride. And it won't be at all pleasant.
It has been almost...six months since I landed a gig at Ascend Asia.
Due to my natural tendencies, I've been watching things a lot of the time. Sadly, part of me is starting to think that I might have made a grave, grave error in judgment. There are certain things going on within the writing department that I don't like. Especially the latest development I've just been told of, which brings back too many bad memories from Intellicrap for comfort.
When I signed on for this boat, the daily quota was 800 words. I got into this job expecting to do only 800 words, which is really not a whole lot. In fact, a small part of me felt insulted by it. Of course, this amount was far from permanent, as I would quickly learn.
Now, I didn't really pay much mind to the increase from 800 to 1000. It was perfectly reasonable since most article submission sites tend to reject anything below 500, and 500 words and above was pretty much the standard length for the stuff I write. That wasn't really a problem for me.
Then came the increase from 1000 words to 1,500. Normally, I'd be up in arms about something like this. Not because I can't handle it, which clearly isn't the case, but because I'm basically doing extra work for no extra compensation. Under normal circumstances, I would have thought of this as being wrong and I would have been more than vocal about my objections to it. However, I kept quiet about it. We were told that 1,500 (basically, 3 articles a day, even if I find it awkward to think in terms of articles, rather than word count) words per day had been the head honcho's plan all along. Fine, then. I suppose that I shouldn't be complaining about it, especially since it was the intention from the very beginning. I didn't believe one word of it, but I let it slide because the excuse wasn't completely ridiculous.
That happened about, I don't know, three months into my stay, I guess?
And now, almost six months in, they're doing it again! By next week, we're all going to be on the same word count quota as Intellicrap --- sorry, Intelligraph --- Corporation. Yes, 2,000 per day. This, of course, is mandatory and is being touted as "being the boss' plan all along."
Two words: Fuck you.
I object to this for a number of reasons.
Firstly, our quota has effectively been doubled without a corresponding increase in compensation. Basically, we're being told to work more for the same amount of money. Granted, I've done the same amount of work (and then some) for less, but as dense as I am, even I knew the situation was simply beyond unfair and was nothing more than corporate exploitation. And now the people in the US head office are basically doing the same thing. My first reaction to this was simple:
"You expect me to do twice the work for the same pay? How stupid do you take me for?"
Incidentally, this was roughly my first gut reaction to when I was offered a position. The real, honest truth was that I knew I could handle the work, but I sure as Hell wasn't going to take more work for no concrete increase in my damn pay. If I'm doing the work of an editor, proofreader, or whatever it happens to be called right now, I should damn well be getting more pay than I would have as a writer. Seeing as how nobody could give me a concrete answer other than a "salary adjustment," whatever the Hell that means, I felt like I had no choice but to decline.
And now, the situation isn't much different. More work, same pay. Bastards. Let me stress the fact that this isn't anything new to me. I've done this amount of work before and I sure can do it again on a regular basis, but that's not the point here. The point is that I am being exploited, just like the rest of the writers are. I probably am just the only one that realizes this, or am the only one that's stupid enough to openly state that i object to this. Strongly. At the very least, Intellicrap projects tended to have a little variety. As it is, I know more about birth control and pain killers than anyone without a degree in pharmacy should.
Which brings me to another thing I've noticed: the complete and utter lack of variety. We're being treated as a support group for the call center (which is perfectly understandable, if a little odd) portion of the business. This approach, of course, conveniently ignores the fact that the writers can be used for so much more. The dayshift people alone has an impressive range of interests between us, with some leaning towards advertising, others to mixed martial arts, and some towards technology or travel.
Why hasn't anyone important realized that we could be used for so much more than just a kickstand for the agents (who have the most atrocious accents and pronunciations I've heard in agents in my life)? Why hasn't anyone figured out that the best way to make money using the writing division is to market us to people who need web content services, not use us to market the English skills-deprived agents? Why hasn't anyone figured out that we're starting to really, really dislike having to write about nothing but drugs and medications day in, day out?
This increased quota would be significantly more palatable if we didn't have to write about the same thing repeatedly. There are only so many angles a person can take when writing about birth control, or sexual health, or pain relief medication, and whatnot.
If you want to bleed our creative juices dry with a double-quota, then at least give us something more than medicines and drugs to work on, damn it.
I also find that the company (or the person running it) seems to think of us as either idiots or people with really short memories. I can understand viewing us as little more than a production line and not as employees. This is a business, and I understand that you can't afford to take every possible human element into consideration. However, at the very least, I expect the higher-ups to treat their employees like they have some degree of intelligence.
Didn't you already try the "this has been the plan all along" excuse before? Sorry, folks. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. I'm not falling for that excuse again. I'm not stupid and I don't have that bad of a memory.
So yes, I protest to this increase in the quota. It is more a protest of principle (I'm not stupid enough to fail to see the exploitation going on here) than one of money. I'm not entirely unreasonable to ask that my pay be doubled because my workload is doubled. I would appreciate an increase, but knowing how things work in Ascend Asia, that's about as likely as an elephant growing wings big enough to actually let it fly. Or anyone discovering a one-stop shop cure for all variants and forms of the common cold.
Don't get me wrong, though. I'll do as you ask. I'll do 2,000 words per day. I'll work like the government pack mule you seem to think everyone working for you is. Because, as much as I like to think of myself as being a man of principle, I like having money more.
Mark my words, though. Give the writers three months of consistently pulling 2,000 words a day off, and the US office will want us to do 2,500 words and give us the excuse that, you guessed it, it was "the plan all along." It, I believe, is an inevitability. It is fucking inevitable.
I mean, the higher-ups have already established it as a pattern, haven't they? As soon as the writing production line shows it can fulfill this daily quota, increase it by another 500. In a year, we'll all be asked to write 3,000 or more per day. Or Ascend Asia won't have a writing division because the writers can't take it anymore.
I know I'll be gone the moment it hits 2,500, which will likely happen 3 to 4 months after the writers prove they can handle 2,000.
On a side note, I know I'm liable to be "talked to" for this (in the best case). More likely to be fired, though. Not that I particularly care. Given the company's pattern of behavior over the last few months, even their subtlety is going to become little more than full-blown corporate exploitation within the year. Go right ahead. I'll be laughing when I'm inevitably proven right.
So with that, I have this to say for closing:
I see the line in the sand.
Hold on tight, folks. This is going to be a long, bumpy ride. And it won't be at all pleasant.
It has been almost...six months since I landed a gig at Ascend Asia.
Due to my natural tendencies, I've been watching things a lot of the time. Sadly, part of me is starting to think that I might have made a grave, grave error in judgment. There are certain things going on within the writing department that I don't like. Especially the latest development I've just been told of, which brings back too many bad memories from Intellicrap for comfort.
When I signed on for this boat, the daily quota was 800 words. I got into this job expecting to do only 800 words, which is really not a whole lot. In fact, a small part of me felt insulted by it. Of course, this amount was far from permanent, as I would quickly learn.
Now, I didn't really pay much mind to the increase from 800 to 1000. It was perfectly reasonable since most article submission sites tend to reject anything below 500, and 500 words and above was pretty much the standard length for the stuff I write. That wasn't really a problem for me.
Then came the increase from 1000 words to 1,500. Normally, I'd be up in arms about something like this. Not because I can't handle it, which clearly isn't the case, but because I'm basically doing extra work for no extra compensation. Under normal circumstances, I would have thought of this as being wrong and I would have been more than vocal about my objections to it. However, I kept quiet about it. We were told that 1,500 (basically, 3 articles a day, even if I find it awkward to think in terms of articles, rather than word count) words per day had been the head honcho's plan all along. Fine, then. I suppose that I shouldn't be complaining about it, especially since it was the intention from the very beginning. I didn't believe one word of it, but I let it slide because the excuse wasn't completely ridiculous.
That happened about, I don't know, three months into my stay, I guess?
And now, almost six months in, they're doing it again! By next week, we're all going to be on the same word count quota as Intellicrap --- sorry, Intelligraph --- Corporation. Yes, 2,000 per day. This, of course, is mandatory and is being touted as "being the boss' plan all along."
Two words: Fuck you.
I object to this for a number of reasons.
Firstly, our quota has effectively been doubled without a corresponding increase in compensation. Basically, we're being told to work more for the same amount of money. Granted, I've done the same amount of work (and then some) for less, but as dense as I am, even I knew the situation was simply beyond unfair and was nothing more than corporate exploitation. And now the people in the US head office are basically doing the same thing. My first reaction to this was simple:
"You expect me to do twice the work for the same pay? How stupid do you take me for?"
Incidentally, this was roughly my first gut reaction to when I was offered a position. The real, honest truth was that I knew I could handle the work, but I sure as Hell wasn't going to take more work for no concrete increase in my damn pay. If I'm doing the work of an editor, proofreader, or whatever it happens to be called right now, I should damn well be getting more pay than I would have as a writer. Seeing as how nobody could give me a concrete answer other than a "salary adjustment," whatever the Hell that means, I felt like I had no choice but to decline.
And now, the situation isn't much different. More work, same pay. Bastards. Let me stress the fact that this isn't anything new to me. I've done this amount of work before and I sure can do it again on a regular basis, but that's not the point here. The point is that I am being exploited, just like the rest of the writers are. I probably am just the only one that realizes this, or am the only one that's stupid enough to openly state that i object to this. Strongly. At the very least, Intellicrap projects tended to have a little variety. As it is, I know more about birth control and pain killers than anyone without a degree in pharmacy should.
Which brings me to another thing I've noticed: the complete and utter lack of variety. We're being treated as a support group for the call center (which is perfectly understandable, if a little odd) portion of the business. This approach, of course, conveniently ignores the fact that the writers can be used for so much more. The dayshift people alone has an impressive range of interests between us, with some leaning towards advertising, others to mixed martial arts, and some towards technology or travel.
Why hasn't anyone important realized that we could be used for so much more than just a kickstand for the agents (who have the most atrocious accents and pronunciations I've heard in agents in my life)? Why hasn't anyone figured out that the best way to make money using the writing division is to market us to people who need web content services, not use us to market the English skills-deprived agents? Why hasn't anyone figured out that we're starting to really, really dislike having to write about nothing but drugs and medications day in, day out?
This increased quota would be significantly more palatable if we didn't have to write about the same thing repeatedly. There are only so many angles a person can take when writing about birth control, or sexual health, or pain relief medication, and whatnot.
If you want to bleed our creative juices dry with a double-quota, then at least give us something more than medicines and drugs to work on, damn it.
I also find that the company (or the person running it) seems to think of us as either idiots or people with really short memories. I can understand viewing us as little more than a production line and not as employees. This is a business, and I understand that you can't afford to take every possible human element into consideration. However, at the very least, I expect the higher-ups to treat their employees like they have some degree of intelligence.
Didn't you already try the "this has been the plan all along" excuse before? Sorry, folks. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. I'm not falling for that excuse again. I'm not stupid and I don't have that bad of a memory.
So yes, I protest to this increase in the quota. It is more a protest of principle (I'm not stupid enough to fail to see the exploitation going on here) than one of money. I'm not entirely unreasonable to ask that my pay be doubled because my workload is doubled. I would appreciate an increase, but knowing how things work in Ascend Asia, that's about as likely as an elephant growing wings big enough to actually let it fly. Or anyone discovering a one-stop shop cure for all variants and forms of the common cold.
Don't get me wrong, though. I'll do as you ask. I'll do 2,000 words per day. I'll work like the government pack mule you seem to think everyone working for you is. Because, as much as I like to think of myself as being a man of principle, I like having money more.
Mark my words, though. Give the writers three months of consistently pulling 2,000 words a day off, and the US office will want us to do 2,500 words and give us the excuse that, you guessed it, it was "the plan all along." It, I believe, is an inevitability. It is fucking inevitable.
I mean, the higher-ups have already established it as a pattern, haven't they? As soon as the writing production line shows it can fulfill this daily quota, increase it by another 500. In a year, we'll all be asked to write 3,000 or more per day. Or Ascend Asia won't have a writing division because the writers can't take it anymore.
I know I'll be gone the moment it hits 2,500, which will likely happen 3 to 4 months after the writers prove they can handle 2,000.
On a side note, I know I'm liable to be "talked to" for this (in the best case). More likely to be fired, though. Not that I particularly care. Given the company's pattern of behavior over the last few months, even their subtlety is going to become little more than full-blown corporate exploitation within the year. Go right ahead. I'll be laughing when I'm inevitably proven right.
So with that, I have this to say for closing:
I see the line in the sand.
Friday, January 11, 2008
My Office Is Killing Me
I am fully convinced that my office is trying to kill me. No, not my officemates (who are more likely to be killed by me) but the office itself. The roof is lined with that same stuff they use to soundproof rooms, except that in my office's case, the stuff is slowly crumbling and falling apart. The white powdery stuff that's falling down gets into everything, from the black keyboards that turn white from the stuff over the weekend to my sinuses and respiratory system. I generally get a cold once per every place of employment during my stay, and one more during my last month. This has been a rule that has been constant ever since I graduated college. However, over the course of my stay in Ascend Asia, I've been sick a total of 6 times. That's not including the minor sinus problems I have every so often.
And I'm utterly, completely convinced its that damn white stuff that's falling down from the fucking roof.
The only thing that could make it worse was if there was asbestos somewhere in the office, too.
Chances are, there is asbestos in the office, just that I haven't found it yet.
And I'm utterly, completely convinced its that damn white stuff that's falling down from the fucking roof.
The only thing that could make it worse was if there was asbestos somewhere in the office, too.
Chances are, there is asbestos in the office, just that I haven't found it yet.
Wednesday, January 09, 2008
Starfish!
Mmm. Fuuko-chan.
"The noblest fate that a man can endure is to place his own mortal body between his loved home and the war's desolation." -Lt. Col (Rtd) Jean Dubios, Starship Troopers by Robert A. Heinlien
“The Bible and several other self help or enlightenment books cite the Seven Deadly Sins. They are: pride, greed, lust, envy, wrath, sloth, and gluttony. That pretty much covers everything that we do, that is sinful... or fun for that matter.” - Dave Mustaine
"Reality is an illusion created by a lack of good alcohol."
"When you can't run, you walk, when you can't walk, you crawl and when you can't crawl you find someone to carry you."
"I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer." - Douglas Adams
"I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally." - W.C. Fields
"Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday." - Dale Carnegie
"An intellectual is someone who has found something more interesting than sex." - Edgar Wallace
"You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named 'Bush', 'Dick', and 'Colon'." - Chris Rock
"All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusions is called a philosopher." - Ambrose Bierce
"If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world." - J.R.R. Tolkien
"Public education in large states will always be mediocre, for the same reasons that food from large kitchens is usually bad." -Nietzsche
"Your foe is well equipped, well-trained, battle-hardened. He believes his gods are on his side. Let him believe what he will. We have the tanks on ours." -Colonel Joachim Pfeiff, 14th Kriegs Panzer Regiment
"The primary function of government is to perpetuate legalized theft."
"Every normal man must be tempted, at times. to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats" - H.L. Mencken
"In Wartime, the truth is so Precious that she must be attended to by a bodyguard of lies." - Winston Churchill
"If the choice is between cowardice, and violence, I choose violence." - Ghandi
Note: This is a placeholder. I'm sure I'll have time to write a proper entry later on. Just not at this specific time. The quotes will go away eventually.
Monday, January 07, 2008
More Tests
Yes, I'm that bored again. Standard rule: the more tests I take and put up in a single post, the more bored I am.
You Are 56% Intuitive |
Your intuition is often right, and you use it more than you may realize. Your gut feelings are usually a good guide, but you need more to go on when making a decision. You'll often check to see if the facts back up your feelings. And when your intuition is wrong, you work to improve it for the future. |
You Are Pretty Happy Being Single |
You have a full, fun life. And you definitely don't need love to be content. Of course, being single can get you down a little. Especially when you've been single for a while. But you know how to be patient and wait for the right person. You're life is too good to settle for anything! |
You Mostly Fight Fair |
When you fight, you tend to remember your end goal of resolving conflict. However, you can get a little too wrapped up in your own feelings. Remember that there are two sides to every argument. And even if you think you're totally right, you should take more time to hear your partner out. |
You Communicate Like a Woman |
You empathize, talk things out, and express your emotions freely. You're a good listener, and you're non-judgmental with your advice. Communication is how you connect with people. You're always up for a long talk, no matter how difficult the subject matter is. |
You Have Not Been Ruined by American Culture |
You're nothing like the typical American. In fact, you may not be American at all. You have a broad view of the world, and you're very well informed. And while you certainly have been influenced by American culture (who hasn't?), it's not your primary influence. You take a more global philosophy with your politics, taste, and life. And you're always expanding and revising what you believe. |
You Are 69% Creative |
You are beyond creative. You are a true artist - even if it's not in the conventional sense of the word. You love creating for its own sake, and you find yourself quite inspired at times. |
There's a 34% Chance That You Need Therapy |
You may need therapy, but you're probably doing okay at working out your own problems. In general, you are able to solve any troubles that come up. But there's no harm in talking to a professional. |
You Are From Jupiter |
You are exuberantly curious - and you love to explore newness. Enthusiastic and optimistic, you get a kick out of stimulating intellectual discussions. Foreign cultures and languages fascinate you. You love the outdoors, animals, and freedom. Chances are you tend to exaggerate, so try to keep a lid on that. If you do, you'll continue to be known for your confidence, generosity, and sense of justice. |
Your Career Personality: Practical, Easy-Going, and Determined |
Your Ideal Careers: Airplane pilot Civil engineer Fire fighter Forensic pathologist Graphic designer Marine biologist Police officer Professional athlete Race car driver Software engineer |
The Movie Of Your Life Is An Indie Flick |
You do things your own way - and it's made for colorful times. Your life hasn't turned out how anyone expected, thank goodness! Your best movie matches: Clerks, Garden State, Napoleon Dynamite |
You Are Beef |
You're big, burly, and maybe even a little stinky. And no one's going to come between you and a good steak. And you've probably never met a vegetable you like, unless fries and ketchup count. |
You Are a Auditory Learner |
You tend to remember what you hear, and you have a knack for speaking well. You excel at debating, foreign languages, and music. You would be an excellent diplomat - or rock star! |
Your Personality is Very Rare (INFP) |
Your personality type is dreamy, romantic, elegant, and expressive. Only about 5% of all people have your personality, including 6% of all women and 4% of all men You are Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling, and Perceiving. |
You Should Learn French |
C'est super! You appreciate the finer things in life... wine, art, cheese, love affairs. You are definitely a Parisian at heart. You just need your tongue to catch up... |
People Envy Your Compassion |
You have a kind heart and an unusual empathy for all living creatures. You tend to absorb others' happiness and pain. People envy your compassion, and more importantly, the connections it helps you build. And compassionate as you are, you feel for them. |
You Belong in Paris |
Stylish and expressive, you were meant for Paris. The art, the fashion, the wine! Whether you're enjoying the cafe life or a beautiful park... You'll love living in the most chic place on earth. |
You Are 76% Gentleman |
You are definitely a gentleman. You're very considerate and you have excellent manners. Occasionally, you slip and do something foolish... but usually no one notices! |
Your Attitude is Better than 45% of the Population |
You have a positive attitude... somtimes. You prefer to see the world through clear glasses, not rose colored ones. |
You Should Be a Painter |
You have the vision, patience, and skill to bring your unique visions to canvas. And you're even tempered enough not to cut your ear off in the process! |
You Should Be a Science Fiction Writer |
Your ideas are very strange, and people often wonder what planet you're from. And while you may have some problems being "normal," you'll have no problems writing sci-fi. Whether it's epic films, important novels, or vivid comics... Your own little universe could leave an important mark on the world! |
You Should Be An Aquarius |
What's good about you: philosophical and idealistic, you are a great thinker What's bad about you: you require a lot of space - it's hard to get close to you In love: you're quirky and playful, but you hate to be smothered In friendship, you're: likely to have many acquaintances and very few good friends Your ideal job: pilot, snow boarder, or science fiction writer Your sense of fashion: unconventional, unique outfits that turn heads You like to pig out on: anything with garlic or unique spices |
You Are a Mermaid |
You are a total daydreamer, and people tend to think you're flakier than you actually are. While your head is often in the clouds, you'll always come back to earth to help someone in need. Beyond being a caring person, you are also very intelligent and rational. You understand the connections of the universe better than almost anyone else. |
You Are 77% Tortured Genius |
You are smart. Brilliant in fact. And while it's a blessing, it's also a curse. Your head is filled with everything - grand ideas, insufferable worries, and a good deal of angst. |
You Are More Cutthroat Than You Think |
Yes, you do have that killer instinct lurking in you. And while you may not be actually cutting throats anytime soon... You certainly don't mind clawing your way to the top. |
You Don't Need Extra Attention |
You're perfectly happy with who you are, and you don't need attention to feel good about yourself. You prefer to let your actions and accomplishments speak for themselves. Working hard to get people to like you is your idea of a nightmare. You've got a lot going on, and anyone with half a brain will notice that on their own! You come across as: Confident and serious People may wrongly think you're: Stuck up and shy |
You Are a Carnation |
You are down to earth and grounded. You tend to be more traditional than trendy. Your confidence gets you through anything. People trust you and are very loyal to you. |
Your Love is Represented by a Purple Rose |
For you, love is all about chemistry and attraction. You totally believe in love at first sight. If a relationship is right, you know it from the start. You're often sure of your feelings. And you're not afraid to express them. |
Your Blogging Type is Pensive and Philosophical |
You blog like no one else is reading... You tend to use your blog to explore ideas - often in long winded prose. Easy going and flexible, you tend to befriend other bloggers easily. But if they disagree with once too much, you'll pull them from your blogroll! |
Your Gemstone is Amber |
Creative, happy, and logical. You shine in any intellectual endeavor |
You Are a Mac |
You are creative, stylish, and super trendy. You demand the best - even if it costs an arm and a leg. |
Your Love Life is Like The Graduate |
"Would you like me to seduce you? Is that what you're trying to tell me?" You believe that you can't pick who you fall in love with. And that sure explains a lot about your past! For you, love has always been dramatic and crazy... which suits you just fine. Your love style: Unconventional and a bit shocking Your Hollywood Ending Will Be: Eerily calm |
You May Be a Bit Schizotypal... |
A bit odd and socially isolated. You couldn't care less of what others think. And some of your beliefs are a little weird. Like that time you thought you were Jesus. |
You Are Scary |
You even scare scary people sometimes! |
You Are A Loyal Sidekick |
While you aren't the most visable one in your group... You're always up for a good time or conversation And you stick with your friends no matter what You may feel underappreciated - but it only seems that way! |
Your Intrapersonal Intelligence Score: 85% |
Your Intrapersonal Intelligence is Very High You've spent a lot of time introspecting, and it's really paid off. You are comfortable with who you are, and you have a life philosophy that you are happy to live by. And you're always re-evaluating what you believe. Because you learn something new about yourself each day! |
Tuesday, January 01, 2008
New Year, Old Blog
Every New Year makes me feel like I've not done something that I should have. It could be writing that long-overdue foray into horror that I've always wanted to do (but Vampires are so overdone nowadays). It could be taking that risk in getting one of my short stories published. Anything, really, can qualify as "that annoying little something I should have done in that year that just went by." For the transition period between 2007 and 2008, I find that it isn't so much something I should have done, and more along the lines of something I should have found.
My cousin's recent wedding (quite a lovely bride he's managed to catch, by the way; I'll have pictures of the lovely couple up at some point) and this recent post by a friend got me thinking about It.
Love.
Should I have found it by now? I've been in love before, to be sure, but should I have found it in a more...permanent sense by now? Yes, yes, I know I'm only 23 (damn that number makes me feel old), but already there are hushed, half-meant jokes about me being next in line to have a wedding. The idea I dismiss in public, especially when I cheerfully remind my family members that I don't have a girlfriend (the ones I've had they know nothing about and are likely to never know about) and that, while one or two people I know have caught my eye, I'm in no hurry to do anything about that. In my own mind, however, I can't help but think I should, at the very least, be looking for love.
Of course, there's a part of me that's just a tad bit technocratic. A part of me that considers this whole situation a problem to be solved, but I can't work on the solution until I understand the problem. Which is what keeps me from getting anywhere. I simply feel like I should understand what cannot be understood (love) before I can get to the long, arduous, and seemingly rather frustrating task of finding it. Just the idea sends chills up and down my spine when I consider the ramifications this might have on my schedule and my personal projects (Darkness & Stars is going strong, by the way).
Unless the old stereotype kicks in and love hits me square in the face (with enough force for me to eventually recognize it for what it is), I doubt I'm going to make any progress on the romantic front any time soon. Just as well, I guess. At the moment, I'm actually rather content to just sit back and let my thoughts mull over on other matters, such as the fiction I create.
Is it odd, I wonder, to be thinking like this on the New Year? Or, for that matter, writing a blog that is, by Internet terms, a rather ancient one? I suppose not, considering the other topics I've written about in the past.
Interestingly, part of me doesn't want to find a girl who has the same interests I do. A similar personality would be nice, especially if tacked along with an innate understanding that my interests are not the sort of things I will compromise in the name of love. It irks me that I can't come up with anything more specific than that, other than an ability to cook well. I flounder whenever someone asks me what I look for in a girl, simply because I haven't really bothered to pin down the qualities that attract me. I suppose I could examine the girls I used to love (along with a few that I almost, but not quite, loved) but I did that once before. Yeah, didn't exactly get any real results out of that.
I wonder if, should I ever find the right girl, the whole thing will just hit me like a ton of bricks? Or is one of the voices in my head right in saying that if you love someone, there should be no defining qualities or traits that catch your emotions? Yes, I just made sense. Read it over if it didn't, because you clearly missed something.
Great, now I feel moderately alarmed that I welcome the New Year in my blog with a rather...melancholic thought.
And another quiz result:
What Vampire: the Requiem Vampire clan are you?
Regal, commanding and aristocratic, the Ventrue are the harsh lords of the Danse Macabre. The Ventrue most often come from the closest the modern world comes to feudal nobility: the ranks of professionals, the cream of high society, the scions of old money or political dynasties. As new professions and new forms of power arise, the Ventrue bring them into the clan. Through whatever means necessary, the Ventrue rise to the top of the undead heap.
Take this quiz!
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Join
| Make A Quiz | More Quizzes | Grab Code
Sometimes, I surprise and scare myself at the same time.
I would have preferred to be a Daeva, though.
My cousin's recent wedding (quite a lovely bride he's managed to catch, by the way; I'll have pictures of the lovely couple up at some point) and this recent post by a friend got me thinking about It.
Love.
Should I have found it by now? I've been in love before, to be sure, but should I have found it in a more...permanent sense by now? Yes, yes, I know I'm only 23 (damn that number makes me feel old), but already there are hushed, half-meant jokes about me being next in line to have a wedding. The idea I dismiss in public, especially when I cheerfully remind my family members that I don't have a girlfriend (the ones I've had they know nothing about and are likely to never know about) and that, while one or two people I know have caught my eye, I'm in no hurry to do anything about that. In my own mind, however, I can't help but think I should, at the very least, be looking for love.
Of course, there's a part of me that's just a tad bit technocratic. A part of me that considers this whole situation a problem to be solved, but I can't work on the solution until I understand the problem. Which is what keeps me from getting anywhere. I simply feel like I should understand what cannot be understood (love) before I can get to the long, arduous, and seemingly rather frustrating task of finding it. Just the idea sends chills up and down my spine when I consider the ramifications this might have on my schedule and my personal projects (Darkness & Stars is going strong, by the way).
Unless the old stereotype kicks in and love hits me square in the face (with enough force for me to eventually recognize it for what it is), I doubt I'm going to make any progress on the romantic front any time soon. Just as well, I guess. At the moment, I'm actually rather content to just sit back and let my thoughts mull over on other matters, such as the fiction I create.
Is it odd, I wonder, to be thinking like this on the New Year? Or, for that matter, writing a blog that is, by Internet terms, a rather ancient one? I suppose not, considering the other topics I've written about in the past.
Interestingly, part of me doesn't want to find a girl who has the same interests I do. A similar personality would be nice, especially if tacked along with an innate understanding that my interests are not the sort of things I will compromise in the name of love. It irks me that I can't come up with anything more specific than that, other than an ability to cook well. I flounder whenever someone asks me what I look for in a girl, simply because I haven't really bothered to pin down the qualities that attract me. I suppose I could examine the girls I used to love (along with a few that I almost, but not quite, loved) but I did that once before. Yeah, didn't exactly get any real results out of that.
I wonder if, should I ever find the right girl, the whole thing will just hit me like a ton of bricks? Or is one of the voices in my head right in saying that if you love someone, there should be no defining qualities or traits that catch your emotions? Yes, I just made sense. Read it over if it didn't, because you clearly missed something.
Great, now I feel moderately alarmed that I welcome the New Year in my blog with a rather...melancholic thought.
And another quiz result:
What Vampire: the Requiem Vampire clan are you?
Regal, commanding and aristocratic, the Ventrue are the harsh lords of the Danse Macabre. The Ventrue most often come from the closest the modern world comes to feudal nobility: the ranks of professionals, the cream of high society, the scions of old money or political dynasties. As new professions and new forms of power arise, the Ventrue bring them into the clan. Through whatever means necessary, the Ventrue rise to the top of the undead heap.
Take this quiz!
Quizilla |
Join
| Make A Quiz | More Quizzes | Grab Code
Sometimes, I surprise and scare myself at the same time.
I would have preferred to be a Daeva, though.
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