And though I had slain a thousand foes less one,
The thousandth knife found my liver;
The thousandth enemy said to me,
'Now you shall die,
Now none shall know.'
And the fool, looking down, believed this,
Not seeing, above his shoulders, the naked stars,
Each one remembering.
--John M. Ford, The Final Reflection

The Asylum Director

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"The only thing I was fit for was to be a writer, and this rested solely on my suspicion that I would never be fit for real work, and that writing didn't require any." - Russel Baker

Thursday, March 27, 2008

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Behold! A new religion is born!

The Church Of Google!

There is nothing I can say about this that would adequately do the very idea of this justice, so let me just take something right off of their site.
We at the Church of Google believe the search engine Google is the closest humankind has ever come to directly experiencing an actual God (as typically defined). We believe there is much more evidence in favor of Google's divinity than there is for the divinity of other more traditional gods.

We reject supernatural gods on the notion they are not scientifically provable. Thus, Googlists believe Google should rightfully be given the title of "God", as She exhibits a great many of the characteristics traditionally associated with such Deities in a scientifically provable manner.


Yes, I know the whole thing is patently ridiculous, but that's what makes it so much fun. Besides, the whole thing is infinitely more believable than the crockery known as the Cult of $cientology.

Seriously. There's a lot of crockery in this whole Church of Google (or Church of Anything, really) idea, but that pales in comparison to the stuff that the average Scientologist actually believes.

3 comments:

Cough Syrup Junkie said...

i dont get that Cult of $cientology too. a lot of Hollywood celebrities are in it db?

VIIIofSwords said...

Yup, yup.

Comedy nga sya, if you read the history eh. The "Church" of Scientology is based on the teachings of L. Ron Hubbard. Si Hubbard e science fiction novelist, and yung mga nobela nya ang basehan ng doctrine ng Scientology.

Get this: estimated na believers have to pay a total of $300,000 to access documents that are the Scientology equivalent of the Bible. Parang ang weird, diba?

me said...

there's an internet movement that is trying to bring down this scientology fuck: the anonymous. i don't know why hubbard's fanatics dub their group a religion. it's clearly a cult. it's just so effing weird. lalo na pag nabasa mo yung mga beliefs nila. can't believe there are actually people who buy this crap.