Oops.

For a few months now, I've had a couple of things nagging me at the back of my mind. I know I'm supposed to do something, but can't, for the life of me, remember what they are. In such cases, I just tend to gloss over them --- let them fester like the sensation of omnipresent aching you get from an old battle wound. So I did just leave it there, not paying one bit of attention to it.

Then, last Friday, someone kindly reminded me of one of them.

So sorry about the delay. My bad. Here they are.







Late, late, late addition:


Oh, and for those who play these sorts of things:
Touhou 11: Scarlet Weather Rhapsody is now available. Chaotic fun.

Where's My Thirteen?

I...am not a very big fan of people. So, expectedly, most people I work with are not very big fans of me.

It is, of course, no big secret that people I work with aren't too fond of me. Why should they be? I'm abrasive. I have a large tendency to be a curmudgeon. I am entirely too judgmental about every little thing that I feel concerns me. I have next to nothing in common with them. I don't really bother to pretend to enjoy socially interacting with them. My set of values drastically differs from their own. Simply put, I don't particularly care about them, and thus give them no reason to care about me.

Some of you might say this should not be the case, and that I should be more...I don't know, human? The thing is, I came to the workplace to do one thing: work. I'm not here to make friends or socialize or play Magic, even though there are times when the last of those three seems like a much more appropriate thing to do. However, I also make it a point to actually finish my work on time. Or preferably, ahead of time.

I've managed to consistently finish ahead of the scheduled end of my shift and am, on most days, able to get all my work done before the lunch hour kicks in. Simply put, I'm faster at this than anyone else that I work with on the day shift. Not sure about nights. While I'm disinclined to believe in it completely, part of me is also starting to grasp around the possibility that I'm not only faster than they are, but that I'm better than they are.

There are many, many days when I feel nothing but utter disdain towards the people I work with. This is particularly true when I hear them complaining about how hard the tasks are, or how big the workload is, yet moments later, I see them slacking off. I'm prone to slacking off myself, but I know enough to stop and get back to work. I also understand that the best time to slack off is when you're done with your work, or when circumstances make it so that you can't continue your work. I figure, they have no right to complain about the work if they spend half their time not working. Okay, two of them are definitely guilty of this, one I can't be sure of, and the last one has an excuse for slacking off.

However, I don't think most of them have any real excuse for a practice that I'd rather not speak of, but find absolutely deplorable. I can't go into details about this because I believe that if this goes on long enough (as far as I'm concerned, it has, but this is not the opinion of the person most involved in this problem), it'll spill over into higher ranks of management anyway. It just annoys me at how unfair it is, particularly since I'm constantly and consistently finishing things at the appropriate times.

I like to think I have some level of respect, though. I've long lived by the words "you may not like me because of my personality, but you will respect me because I am good at what I do." I know what I'm doing. I'm good at what I'm doing, otherwise I wouldn't bother doing it. I'd like to think I deserve and have a little bit of respect because of that. As far as being likable or liked is concerned, that really fails to be of any real use to me and, as I said, I work because of work, not because I want to make friends.

Which puts me into an odd position. Arrogant as this may sound, I am starting to feel like I am Ascend Asia's day shift writer's equivalent of Gregory House: largely unlikable as a person, but undeniably good at what I do. With that in mind...I would now like to go back to the question that prompted this post: if I'm Gregory House, where is (or who is, if I'm really, really lucky) my Thirteen?

Stupid Vista-Compliant Machines

I just bought a new laptop. Okay, technically, the laptop isn't mine, but my mother's, but that's beside the point right now.

So here I am, trying to install a perfectly working copy of XP onto a Vista-compliant machine. The guys at the store had the foresight to give me the drivers they said I'd need to make everything work if I install XP, since Vista drivers were not going to be a problem for me - or so they claimed, at least. However, early on in the installation, I hit a minor snag - the installation doesn't recognize the hard drives.

I do a bit of digging and I find that I've got a SATA HD on my hands, which XP doesn't have drivers for. I do a bit more digging and realize that I come to three options. First, I tamper with the compatibility settings on the BIOS so I can install XP without a problem. This is, by far, the easiest of the lot, but also the one that I'm the least sure of. I'm not sure if I can do that on the BIOS of the laptop. Second, I can slip-stream the whole thing with the appropriate drivers, but that also presents a minor problem: I can't find the drivers, and I can't get the ones I got from the manufacturer to work. Third is the option I want to deal with the least and that I'd rather die than truly consider: install Vista.

I intend to spend a few hours on the new machine (which I have named Mei) later on, to see if I can get any of the above methods to work. Installing Vista is an option, but only if I deem it absolutely necessary to do so. That's only going to happen if I exhaust the first two options, but I doubt that's going to happen soon. I've managed to grab some stuff that might be of help in my quest to making sure XP gets on that laptop, even if it kills me.

Another Round, Barkeep!

And here I go again, taking tests I shouldn't simply because I'm bored out of my skull.

Who Should Paint You: M.C. Escher

Open and raw, you would let your true self show for your portrait. And even if your painting turned out a bit dark, it would be honest.

What Artist Should Paint Your Portrait?

You Are Lightning

Beautiful yet dangerous People will stop and watch you when you appear Even though you're capable of random violence You are best known for: your power Your dominant state: performing

What Type of Weather Are You?

You Are Somewhat Logical

Ok, so didn't get the majority of questions right But you did answer some pretty tough questions correctly Logic may not be your strong point, but you hold your own!

How Logical Are You?

Your Power Level is: 54%

There's a good chance you feel pretty powerful, and with good reason, you're already fairly successful. Keep developing your goals and skills, and you'll be surprised by what you can really achieve.

How Powerful Are You?

You Are a Mac

You are creative, stylish, and super trendy. You demand the best - even if it costs an arm and a leg.

Are You a Mac or a PC?

You Are A Little Honest

Sometimes you do the right thing, but not often You prefer to look out for yourself most of the time But sometimes honesty does get the better of you Here's hoping you answered this quiz honestly

How Honest Are You?

Your Brain's Pattern

Structured and organized, you have a knack for thinking clearly. You are very logical - and you don't let your thoughts get polluted with emotions. And while your thoughts are pretty serious, they're anything from boring. It's minds like yours that have built the great cities of the world!

What Pattern Is Your Brain?

You Are A Social Butterfly

You love your friends so much... You're motto is "the more, the merrier"! Making sure everyone's included is your mission And you always prefer a group of ten to a group of two

What Kind of Friend Are You?

Note: This one is highly inaccurate.

You Are a Chocolate Cake

Fun, comforting, and friendly. You are a true classic, and while you're not super cutting edge, you're high quality. People love your company - and have even been known to get addicted to you.

What Kind of Cake Are You?

You Should Be A Virgo

What's good about you: you have a quiet determination and aren't swayed by emotions What's bad about you: you are an insane perfectionist and easily find faults in others In love: you are obsessed with making your partner happy In friendship, you're: helpful and giving - eager to be a true friend Your ideal job: poet, flight attendant, or natural healer Your sense of fashion: casual, upscale, revealing, conservative - you look good in all of it You like to pig out on: a well prepared five course meal

What Sign Should You Be?

You Are 74% Grown Up, 26% Kid

Congratulations, you are definitely quite emotionally mature. Although you have your moments of moodiness, you're usually stable and level headed.

How Emotionally Mature Are You?

Your 1996 Theme Song Is: Macarena by Los Del Rio

When I dance they call me macarena And the boys, they say that I'm buena They all want me, they can't have me So they all come and dance beside me

What's Your 1996 Theme Song?

Your Brain is 40% Female, 60% Male

You have a total boy brain Logical and detailed, you tend to look at the facts And while your emotions do sway you sometimes... You never like to get feelings too involved

What Gender Is Your Brain?

Your Linguistic Profile:

55% General American English 20% Yankee 15% Dixie 5% Upper Midwestern 0% Midwestern

What Kind of American English Do You Speak?

What Your Pizza Reveals

There are no limits to your eating. You often devour the scraps your friends can't finish. You consider pizza to be bread... very good bread. You fit in best in the Midwest part of the US. Your taste in food tends to favor what's rich and comforting. You prefer food that will definitely satisfy you. You are generous, outgoing, and considerate with your choices. You are unadventurous and boring. You should consider staying home when taking a vacation. The stereotype that best fits you is redneck. Your friends secretly agree.

What Does Your Pizza Say About You?

Your Job Dissatisfaction Level is 38%

Your job is not bad, but it's probably not a long term thing. You're just not happy enough to stick around for too long... And there's little that can change how you feel. Start looking around for other options, but only quit for something really good!

Should You Quit Your Job?

What The Holidays Mean to You

For you, the holidays are about emotional connections and bonds. You are happiest being around those you love. You celebrate the holidays in a offbeat style. You believe the holidays are for doing whatever you feel like - and some of your "traditions" are pretty wacky. During the holidays, you feel magical. You love all of the decorations and how happy people are. You like to sit back and take it all in. You think the holidays should be nostalgic and sweet. The holidays bring out your inner child. Your best holiday memories are of childhood foods and traditions. You secretly still wish you believed in Santa Claus.

What Do the Holidays Mean to You?

You Are a Centaur

In general, you are a very cautious and reserved person. However, you are also warm hearted, and you enjoy helping others in practical ways. You are a great teacher, and you are really good at helping people get their lives in order. You are very intuitive, and you go with your gut. You make good decisions easily.

What Mythological Creature Are You?

You Are the Ace of Clubs

You go at everything in your life full force. You are a natural gambler. Your life definitely has some extreme highs and lows, but you know how to ride out the low times. A total adventure seeker, you are never satisfied by what's normal or ordinary. You like to push limits and shock people. You're dramatic, but a drama queen. Your life has been a wild ride so far. You have stories that people can barely believe. And you're probably still young... with a lot of wild rides in front of you. A gamble you should take: High stakes roulette Your friends would describe you as: Crazy Your enemies would describe you as: Demented If you lived in Vegas, you would be: A high roller

What Playing Card Are You?

Your 2005 Song Is

Boulevard of Broken Dreams by Green Day "My shadow's the only one that walks beside me My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating" In 2005, you bummed everyone out. Like you care.

What Hit Song of 2005 Are You?

You Are 75% Creative

You are beyond creative. You are a true artist - even if it's not in the conventional sense of the word. You love creating for its own sake, and you find yourself quite inspired at times.

How Creative Are You?

You Belong in Generation X

You fit in best with people born between 1961 and 1981. You are fun, laid back, and very independent. You are willing to take risks and live your life however you see fit. You are casual, accepting, and friendly. You see everyone as your equal.

What Generation Do You Belong In?

Your Attitude is Better than 50% of the Population

You have a positive attitude... somtimes. You prefer to see the world through clear glasses, not rose colored ones.

How's Your Attitude?

You Are Most Like Liv Tyler

“I don't want to spend so much time obsessing about myself.”

What Modern Bombshell Are You Most Like?

You Are Agnostic

God? Religion? Maybe... you're just not sure. You're still figuring out your spiritual path... or figuring out you really don't care. You believe that no one really can know the true story about religion or God. So you might as well relax a little. You'll go crazy trying make sense of it all.

Are You an Atheist, Agnostic or a Believer?

Your Fortune Is

It's ok to let a fool kiss you, but don't let a kiss fool you.

The Wacky Fortune Cookie Generator

You Are the Index Finger

You are ambitious, driven, and capable. You aren't afraid to take responsibility for your actions - or place the blame on whoever deserves it. You are honest, free thinking, and objective. You see things in your own way - and you aren't afraid to let everyone know about it. You get along well with: The Thumb Stay away from: The Ring Finger

What Finger Are You?

You Are 40% Feminine, 60% Masculine

You are in touch with your masculine side. You are not overly sensitive and not easily moved. Occasionally, though, something will get through and touch your heart!

Are You Masculine or Feminine?

Exhaustion

My friend once said that he felt old, and noted the consequences of such thoughts.

Now, while I don't feel old, I do feel rather exhausted. Drained, you could say.

This has happened before, and it isn't just boredom. I feel like I just don't have what I need to have anymore, or something similar to that. Hell, I can't even come up with the right words to describe it.

I just...feel exhausted.

I'm tired of the monotony of the topics I write for at work, even if I'm not quite completely drained by how the work is structured. Like handling cases of customer care back in my call center days, these things have ceased to really get my interest going. They've become mundane and dull to me, which means my writing slows down to a snail's pace --- something I find completely unacceptable.

My mind drifts off now, and hasn't drifted this far off what I should be focusing on since my last few days at Intelligraph. Like I said, it isn't as if I think things are bad or crappy (they need improvement, to be sure, but every office is like that). No, things are actually rather neutral --- except for that whole "night shift" thing, which I object to. Work is just...dull.

I'm coming to hate the scope of the topics I can write for, and the keywords that limit things further. The whole damn field of medicine is starting to grow stale for me as something to write about, which means that I've officially stopped caring how much I produce, whether or not I can overproduce, and if the stuff I put out is as good as what I used to.

As far as my writing mind is concerned, I'm just in it to do it. Nothing less, but definitely nothing more either. I guess you might be able to compare this to the realization that trying to go forward is pointless because there is no going forward. I guess the comparison I can best come up with now is with a treadmill. All that work, and you don't really get anywhere.

Right now, my mind just wants to sit back, take a month or two off, and do nothing. Obviously, because of commitments, because of the economy, and because of anything and everything that can be related to this, I can't. The best I can do to alleviate the continued process of my own mind cannibalizing itself is to play Magic: the Gathering, building and improving decks (not always mine) along the way.

Seriously, the time my mind spends on improving and planning my decks and strategies in that card game has managed to keep my mind from entering into a complete state of creative disrepair. This game, along with Code Geass R2, are the only things keeping me from declaring the creative side of my mind dead in the water. I suspect that, without these things to keep my mind off work both during and out of work hours, I'd be the literary equivalent of a lifeless rock. The worst part is, while they're great for keeping the exhaustion from becoming too bad, they're not permanent solutions.

I've been in this before, and the results were not pretty.

My writing skills suddenly decide to shift into two different gears. First, the assembly line, which continues to write what needs to be written for the office. Get things done and written and made to specifications, but without any personal touches or attempts to add a little polish to it. The stuff just rolls out of the assembly line without any fanfare or decoration. The second is the set of my mind that delves into my creative projects. That side of me goes dead and requires time (an obscene amount of time) to get jump-started again.

I hate it when that happens.

Gods, I'm tired. What I'd give for a chance to just lay around and do whatever I want and write whatever I want for a month right now, but life isn't about to let me have that or anything close to it. This whole "transfer to the night shift or resign" vibe I'm starting to get from the office doesn't do anything to help, either. I'd fight it, try and negotiate a better deal, but I'm mentally exhausted from the monotony of work, the lies I have to tell myself each day, the stress of having to work in the city I hate the most in the world, and the masks I have to wear to get through the average day in the office.

I'm tired. So very tired.

Deckbuilder's Diary: Black, Part 3

Almost there, almost complete.

I've long considered the true stress test of any deck of any color to be a mana-rich, well-designed, set-up blue counter-control deck. In three consecutive tests, the current, incomplete format of my black deck survived and thrived. Then again, the greatest weakness of any blue deck that relies heavily on set-up and counters (virtually all forms of blue decks, from what I've seen) is the existence of the weenie. The first game had my opponent taken out by two weenies. Granted, said weenies were the Prickly Boggart and the Wicked Akuba, but that's beside the point.

One thing I've always disliked about traditional weenie decks is the lack of ability or cards to really do damage once past the mid-game stage. In streamlining the deck, I decided to take out a couple of low-cost creatures and replace them with bigger ones, which are more suitable for dealing with problems in the mid-game, where size starts to come into play. Numbers is still an issue, but sheer size, combined with the right tactics, can make short of that advantage. It helps that said big beef came with built-in evasive abilities, but I still need a way to handle the late game.

Or rather, I did. Four copies of Corrupt and a Maga, Traitor to Mortals, along with a Choice of Damnations seal up the late game pretty well, I think. Choice is a tough one to use because it requires precise timing to maximize the damage it could do, but overall, it can really turn the tide of a game if the opponent makes the wrong call on the number. And in the mana-rich late game, Corrupt can really take a dent out of someone's life total, potentially but me back in the lead (or increase my lead), and still leave mana for me to be able to cast other spells.

However, as good as it may be now, I'm still missing a few cards. One-mana drops are low in number, but compensated by the high concentration of efficient two-mana drops. I think I need one more big creature to round things out, and I'm juggling between Dread (my favorite) or Oona, Queen of the Fae. I'm toying with the possibility of using a Toshiro Umezawa as well, increasing the number of cheap creatures and adding extra spell-casting ability from the grave.

And of course, Ashenmoor Gouger is still missing. Damn it, someone always beats me to buying those things.

Still, aside from these few cards, I don't have too many more gaps to fill. I have a decent sideboard prepared, but doesn't cover all the common tactics decks use. Still has problems dealing with a deck that relies heavily on blasters, but that's mainly because a good blaster is generally much faster than the average weenie deck. In any case, deck is almost complete. I just need to improve the rather sparse mid-game (which is what the Dread/Oona, Queen of the Fate and the Ashenmoor Gougers are for) to top it all off.

Might grab Toshiro Umezawa as a sideboard as a utility, but I doubt I can find room in the main deck for him. Same goes with Maralen of the Mornsong, because even if she's a "tutor" effect each turn, the cost is too high and she helps the opponent too.

With any luck, I'll get to work on my white/green elf-token deck sometime next month.

Deckbuilder's Diary: Black, Part 2

Still tweaking my black deck, largely because I'm not satisfied with how it performs, and partly because those bastards at BDO still won't give me my damn money.

I've decided to take some time to re-focus on the primary strengths of the idea. That is, cheap, cost-effective creatures, powerhouses that don't eat into my other resources too much, and sheer, destructive force. I've also decided to do away with gimmicky new keyword abilities and rely more on the tried and true precepts of Magic: the Gathering weenie decks: speed and power. But with a touch of direct damage, black-style, tagging along in the form of 4 copies of Corrupt.

I've also decided to better streamline and improve the creature line-up. There won't be too many ways to pump up my creatures in the new plan, so I need creatures that make other creatures beefier. Thankfully, the newest expansion can help in that quest. While Ashenmoor Liege lacks defensive capabilities at 4/1, the life loss ability and the "Bad Moon" effect it has makes it very useful in this deck. The same applies to the Glen Elendra Liege, even if it switches out the life loss ability for extra defensive power and flying. Put together, they make for an impressive means of increasing the offensive and defensive abilities of my creatures --- even if, thanks to the largely black components of it, I can't take full advantage of their boosting powers. The Ashenmoor Liege wins out over the Glen Elendra slightly when it comes to maximizing the effect, though, because I have more black/red hybrids planned for the deck than I do black/blue ones. Not by much, but still.

I definitely need Ashenmoor Gouger. The creature is a three-mana drop that pops in at 4/4, with the only drawback being that it can't be used on defence. For that kind of power and that cost (and the possibility of being cast on the first turn with a Dark Ritual), I'd rather use it as a means of getting rid of early blockers that don't have any means of saving themselves from that kind of early assault. It can also get a lot of damage early on against decks that require time to set up, like sliver decks or some of the old school land destroyer decks I've seen.

Not sure whether I should grab a Dread, a Ghastlord of Fugue, or an Oona, Queen of the Fae as the fourth example of big beef in the deck. The Dread has the most raw power and it is the type of creature that keeps coming back for more, but aside from that, it doesn't provide me with other strategic options. The Ghastlord is two mana more than the Gouger, at the same power, but is unblockable and works as an improved Coercion spell with each attack. It would also help me in making the most out of the Glen Elendra Liege. Oona has higher power and flies, but has the weakness of being a legend and the special ability can end up eating up a lot of mana --- the reason I took Maga, Traitor to Mortals out of the deck. Still, the ability to make tokens is useful in the event of a creature stalemate that continues attacks from the Gouger and the next creature I plan to add can't fix.

The other thing I intend to add would be the Inkfathom Infiltrator. As far as offensive tactics go, for a two-mana drop, the creature isn't bad. In fact, I think it is a very effective early-game creature. The unblockability is the best part of it, and the lack of toughness I can circumvent with Glen Elendra Liege, Ashenmoor Liege, Fists of the Demigod, or Unholy Strength --- all of which can also boost the offensive power. If it didn't last long enough to do that, it won't be too bad.

I also think adding Eyeblight's End would be a good idea. One problem with black is how it lacks the ability to use spells to destroy black creatures. Eyeblight's End still has weaknesses, but it can at least get rid of black creatures that need to be removed. I don't run into problem black creatures too often, and even in those cases, my creatures can generally handle them. Still, a little insurance policy never hurt. Though I might swap that out for more...large-scale creature kill, if I ever find Damnation.

Oh Dear Lords, The Stupidity

Science fiction fans, anime fans, and comic book fans have a tendency to be tagged as socially awkward, not-quite-right-in-the-head, and generally so inept that they can't get a girl to so much notice they exist, let alone initiate physical contact. Being a fan of comics, high quality science fiction, and anime, I try my best to at least not be as stereotypical as I can sometimes be. Sure, I nerd out a lot when I get to talking about anime I like, but I don't spend every waking minute of my day talking about it. I mostly keep quiet and ponder other things. However, for the most part, regardless of the stupidity that a vast majority of other fans do, I try not to mind.

Then, there's this: The Open Source Boob Project.

"At Penguicon, we had buttons to give away. There were two small buttons, one for each camp: A green button that said, "YES, you may" and a red button that said "NO, you may not." And anyone who had those buttons on, whether you knew them or not, was someone you could approach and ask:

"Excuse me, but may I touch your breasts?"

You know what? I'm just as much of a perverted bastard as the next guy, but this is just crossing the line.

Let me make something perfectly clear: I am not female. While some might portray me as a nice guy, the fact is, like all guys, I can be perverted, twisted, and even slightly misogynistic. Maybe even chauvinistic. However, I like to think there are limits to such impulses and behaviors. There is a point when it stops being an exagerrated action-reaction chain related to natural instincts and it just becomes stupidity. Excessive, "buying into the Church of Scientology's inane crap that any human being with half a brain would be able to see is low-grade crockery" level of stupidity. This idea, I think, is among the multitude of examples of such stupidity.

A minor issue here is just how badly this is going to reflect on the people that go to the conventions. They've already established a bad enough reputation, but engaging in this level of stupidity, this bottom-of-the-barrel desperation for any form of sexual contact is just beyond anything I've ever even considered before. And believe me, I've considered a lot of disturbing things.

Being male, I don't think I'm qualified to speak on how a female view of this would be like, but I think this post, from the Occasional Superheroine blog, would be enough of a statement. This one, from Blurred Productions, does a good job of doing that too. I'll leave things at that regarding the female view of this absurdity.

I normally don't give a damn about things that don't touch upon my life or that I don't touch upon. I avoid conventions when possible, and this sort of behavior is unlikely to emerge at local conventions. Or anywhere outside the collective mass of inexplicable stupidity that is the US con scene, for that matter. Still, one can't help but be flabbergasted at how any sane individual could possibly come up with this and still expect to maintain an image of respectability.

And people wonder why I don't want to go to the conventions and the like and expose myself to this level of...is there even a word for this?