And though I had slain a thousand foes less one,
The thousandth knife found my liver;
The thousandth enemy said to me,
'Now you shall die,
Now none shall know.'
And the fool, looking down, believed this,
Not seeing, above his shoulders, the naked stars,
Each one remembering.
--John M. Ford, The Final Reflection

The Asylum Director

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"The only thing I was fit for was to be a writer, and this rested solely on my suspicion that I would never be fit for real work, and that writing didn't require any." - Russel Baker

Monday, July 28, 2008

Self-Destruction

It's one thing to destroy yourself. It's another thing completely to watch someone else do the same.

One thing that most people don't expect about me is just how empathic I can be. Which is one of the many, many reasons I try not to let people too close. I tend to feel their problems as if it was mine, which is a tendency to make life difficult for me if I'm unable to solve those problems and get them out of my way. Still, man can't live life alone, and even I have a few people that have gotten closer to me than I should have ever allowed.

An old friend of mine has been effectively put through more emotional turmoil in a matter of days than most people have to go through their whole lives. Granted, she's got more issues than Time magazine, but the other girl involved in this equation, from what I'm told, has pretty much the same amount of problems. Just of a different nature. Of course, my friend isn't the talkative type, and the other girl involved in this is someone I don't know. Even so, their problems are starting to really get on my nerves, as thinking about how to fix it has begun to disrupt my perfectly orchestrated daily routine.

This is particularly true now, with my friend effectively destroying herself over a girl who, from what I've seen, probably could not care any less about her. Sadly, my friend has never been one to listen to my advice unless I'm mistaken about something. Since she won't take my advice and cut her losses, that can only mean I'm right and she's setting herself up for an inevitable and irreversible disaster.

I hate not being able to fix things. Hate it.

2 comments:

spongebabe said...

yeah, i know how that feels. T_T

Anonymous said...

At least, you've done your part as a friend--giving pieces of advice, listening, etc. If the person still doesn't listen, you can't do anything about it. A person becomes blinded by his own problems that his ears tend to close.