And though I had slain a thousand foes less one,
The thousandth knife found my liver;
The thousandth enemy said to me,
'Now you shall die,
Now none shall know.'
And the fool, looking down, believed this,
Not seeing, above his shoulders, the naked stars,
Each one remembering.
--John M. Ford, The Final Reflection

The Asylum Director

My photo
"The only thing I was fit for was to be a writer, and this rested solely on my suspicion that I would never be fit for real work, and that writing didn't require any." - Russel Baker

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Take my love, take my land
Take me where I cannot stand
I don't care, I'm still free
You can't take the sky from me

Take me out to the black
Tell them I ain't comin' back
Burn the land and boil the sea
You can't take the sky from me

There's no place I can be
Since I found Serenity
But you can't take the sky from me...

--- The Ballad of Serenity, from the TV series Firefly

Game Over?

Link 1
Link 2

So, why the links? Seems about to be sued, you see. Or there's a substantial risk of me being sued. Can't say I'm surprised at this. Kind of surprised it took this long, considering local libel laws. I guess this is game over, then. At least, if I do get sued; slim chance of that not happening and all that. We'll see.

This is what I get for speaking the truth, I suppose.

The only real consideration I have left is simple. I honestly don't want to burden the people I care about any further than I already have. Which...well, this leaves me with one last move to play.

Monday, September 28, 2009

I Aim To Misbehave.

So, my boss wants a written (and signed, I bet) explanation for one of my recent entries. So I will oblige him. In the interest of transparency, I will include said written explanation here, along with some minor commentary.

With that in mind, let us delay no further.

The Explanation:
Why did I write those things? The answer is simple. It needed to be said.

We are employees. This comes with the sad implication that no matter what the boss does, says, or implements, we are to bend over and accept it. We do not question, we do not doubt, and we certainly do not say anything about it. Simply put, unless you are somehow in some sort of managerial position, you are apparently not supposed to complain, and you are supposed to just let people above you walk all over you.

I do not hold to that.

My view is simple. I have not said anything that did not need to be said. What I said is both my personal opinion and, quite likely, a sentiment shared by others in the company among the rank and file. I am not happy with this recent string of refusals to take command responsibility, the multiple instances of insane policy, and the constant attempts to take away what little enjoyment we have in the office environment.

I did not say anything that nobody else has not already expressed. The only difference is that I said it out loud. I figured none of them were actually going to speak up about it, to be frank about it. Quiet acceptance, I have noted, has only invited further provocation from the company, and frankly, I was tired of being provoked.

Someone had to come out and openly say the things that we have kept bottled up and never spoke of. Someone had to let it all out. Someone had to make you notice. Whatever it is you think you're doing, we aren't happy about it. Most just choose not to talk about it for reasons of their own. As for myself? I've done this before; I saw the need to speak out then, and I see the need to speak out now.

Your recent actions show us you have no respect for us. You have shown us no respect in your decisions, your policies, and your actions. So I ask, why should we continue to show you respect?


So, what comes next? Maybe he'll fire me. Maybe I'll get some sort of sanction. Maybe nothing will happen. I honestly don't know, and am only barely bringing myself to care about the possibility of being unemployed. Again.

One would think I've have learned to keep my mouth shut by now, but, see...keeping my mouth shut means I am being "reasonable." Frankly, if everyone in the history of the world was "reasonable," the human race would be extinct. So I made my choice.

I did not back down.

I should, perhaps, mention that I do not intend to take anyone with me. Yes, we all think the same as what I said, but not everyone said it out loud. That was my move, and my move alone. Should my move be justification for my part on this Game to end, then so be it. I will only regret that no one else spoke up as I did, because I think we all know more people need to speak up.

Note: Many thanks to the wonderful series Firefly and the movie Serenity for the title. Great stuff.

Saturday, September 26, 2009

Good Girl. Bye Girl.





Death, as I have mentioned before, is something I view as inevitable and inexorable. You will die, and you will not be able to avoid it. So by and large, I think I'm going to be able to die more or less able to accept it. It sometimes becomes a different matter when it comes to people around me, however.

I did not feel much of anything when my grandfather (maternal) died. Nor did I feel anything when my grandmother (paternal) died. Their deaths were expected. Then we come to the most recent death of someone that mattered to me, even in the slightest way.

Brownie (pictured above) was my uncle's pet dog. Don't know what breed, don't particularly care either. Anyone who knows me will know I prefer animals to people. I find humans disgusting things, and take more comfort in machinery. Barring that, a good dog or cat. What I know is that I find her death has affected me quite deeply, almost as if I was her owner and had raised her for years by my own hand.

She died of cancer. Didn't even know dogs could get cancer. I find it barely consoling that she died quietly, in her sleep. The worry was that she would live to the point where it became unbearable to do so, and had to be euthanized. I...a part of me is glad it didn't come to that.

In a way, I think she knew it was coming. Little things, like walking up to us and sitting down, just begging to be petted or paid attention to. Maybe I'm over-thinking it, or seeing something that's not there. Regardless, I will hold on to the belief that she did that yesterday because she knew it was her last chance.

I don't think I have a point or something to say. Just...I think I just need to admit that this has made me profoundly sad, and I'm going to miss her.

Monday, September 21, 2009


You know who you are.

My Boss Is A Sanctimonious Sonovabitch


Ignore the picture, I just put it there for decoration.

One of these days, the people that I work for are going to die. I am going to hear about it, and I am going to take a very, very fine amount of distinct pleasure from it. Hopefully, that day will come so deliciously soon.

In case I haven't been crystal clear, I actively and openly hate my bosses and I hope they all die or have some measure of sense beaten into them. Violently and continuously. It isn't any one big act of sheer stupidity that's gotten to me, unlike one of my former employers. No, my current office has managed at least avoid that. This one, this...Asia1Pro (yes, I know, it is an insipidly stupid name and I avoid having to mention it whenever possible) has earned my displeasure by compounding numerous little things into the mix.

I learned to live minus the USB ports, though the fact that they're still blocked is something I am still personally offended by. I still think their insistence on not letting us use them is stupid. I find my view of this worsened by their excuse, citing "security reasons." So...for the almost two years we've been using them, they weren't a security risk? That's a flimsy excuse and you know it, Tengco. Sure, they reason that there is a perfectly workable alternative and that we can simply talk to the network admin to have them temporarily reactivated, but see...there's still a problem there.

The alternatives mentioned have a tendency to fail rather miserably, and one of them has been a dismal failure for weeks now. Not that it was ever much use, considering that there was no way we could actually recover files from it. As for the network admin solution, it is a waste of time --- both the admin's and the employee's. So, what, each time I need to make a back-up of something, I need to talk to him, assuming he's even around? Wouldn't it be significantly simpler to just open everything up and get rid of the proverbial "middle man" in this?

Then there's the numerous sites they've decided to block. I could care less about social networking plagues like Multiply and Facebook. Blocking those sites I can somewhat understand, even if they are (perhaps literally) among the few things that have kept the average employee in this company from becoming mindless drones on the job. I can empathize with them, mind you. I can understand how the blockage of these sites gives them a feeling of being stifled, of being deprived of what few available outlets they have to relax during the workday. But that's not my concern. My concern here is the fact that these morons have chosen to block YouTube and Photobucket.

You have to wonder why, really. YouTube I can sort of understand. It is quite possible to end up losing yourself on that site without even trying. Plus, some of the videos can be a touch taxing on the already shitty Internet connection the office uses. But Photobucket? Come on, man. The site does not qualify as social networking, so you can't use that excuse. It is an image hosting service, and the search feature isn't even all that comprehensive. For what logical reason could you possibly block that site? Unless the only reason it was blocked was to spite people. You haven't even gotten around to blocking the inordinate amount of porn sites that some people apparently access on a semi-regular basis, for crying out loud.

Oh, and let's not forget the fact that the guy who runs this hellhole of an office has decided it is against the rules to talk to each other. No, I do not mean that as a metaphor. He has blocked meebo, which means we are cut off from our individual, personal IM accounts. He has also issued a memo that basically can be summed up as "no talking, relaxing, or relieving stress during work."

No, I am not joking. We cannot use IM accounts like AIM or MSN. We do have Jabber, but everyone knows he monitors everything that gets mentioned there and it'd be an outright intrusion of privacy if it wasn't so blatantly clear he's doing it. As for the "no talking" policy, I sincerely doubt anyone really cares about it. I'm certain everyone who knows of it ignores its very existence unless he's around, and from what I've seen, he's quite capable of violating it himself. Still, when he's actually present, people do have to pay the stupid thing lipservice, at least. I sometimes wonder if he's deliberately trying piss us off, or if he's intentionally ignoring the stupidity of said policy.

I should not forget the most recent act of inexplicable stupidity, however. See, all of my previous employers, even the dumbass ones, have always had a relatively decent policy for holidays. Show up for work on a holiday, you get extra cash. Simple enough. There were no inherent confusions regarding what type of holiday it was, and certainly very few instances of us having no idea if we needed to show up for work or if it was optional. The current office? Now that's a bit of a story.

I can sort of understand all those times when they attempted to find a loophole in the wording or legalities to get out of paying us what is rightfully ours by law. But this recent...I can't even describe it. Let's go back to the previous holiday.

We are informed that we are not required to show up for work if we don't want to, but will still be paid. Fine, most of us don't bother to show up. Who's going to pass up a long weekend, right? There's a hiccup to that, though. A hiccup, I might add, that the chain of command was well aware of prior to informing us we can choose not to show up for work. That hiccup is that, for some inane reason, the Department of Trade and Industry declares the field we happen to be working in as being exempt from the holiday. Never mind the sheer strangeness of being exempted from a declared holiday. The point is, the higher-ups knew we were not counted and yet told us it was our option not to show up anyway. The next day, we come in, and we are not so subtly informed that we are all counted as absent, "no call, no show" for the day. Why? Because some insipid moron higher up the chain of command sent the wrong info and never bothered to correct it. It is not our fault that you got it wrong, and not our fault you were too stupid to do anything about it. Yet he took it out on us anyway by not paying us for that day, instead of taking the responsibility for his mistake!

Oh sure, try to fix it by having us all file sick leaves to get paid for it. That doesn't work because, you see, we weren't sick. By having us file those things, you are making us take responsibility for your mistake. That's not how a chain of command works, you sanctimonious sonovabitch. I haven't touched those sick leaves. I haven't touched my vacation leaves. I was not going to use them to cover up your inability to grasp the concept of "command responsibility!"

Which brings us to today. Yet another holiday. This one, for the past few years, has been consistently optional. We have never been required to show up for work for this particular holiday, and even when we don't, we get the regular daily pay rate. Yet, for some reason, this year, we have no idea. See, nobody seems to know whether we need to show up or not. The only way to know for sure is to ask the HR liaison/Admin assistant person. That, however, brings up a few issues.

First, my shift clocks in at 0900 hours. The person in question clocks in later than that. What does this mean? Well, if I want to get paid either way, I need to clock in on-time. If I don't and there is work, I won't get paid despite actually being at work. Of course, even if there is no work, it'd be pointless. I've already clocked in and if I leave early, I am forfeiting my pay. So damned if I do, damned if I don't. Oh, and the person who knows whether or not we need to show up? She's on leave.

Second issue is the simple fact that nobody seems to know whether or not the holiday even counts. For crying out loud, is it that hard to make a clear decision on whether or not it counts and inform us? If you and your delusional state of mind want us to sit in front of our piece of trash computers and attempt to do our jobs despite the atrocity that is the Internet connection we use, then why not just say so? It'd be far less aggravating than having us show up for work, clocking in, getting work done, and then telling us we've all just wasted our time.

I swear, if finding another job wasn't so damn inconvenient, I suspect many of us would have left by now.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Disheartening

I know not why, but I find Noynoy Aquino's decision to run rather...disheartening. It feels wrong for him to run for the presidential office, even if he actually does have better political credentials for it than his mother did. I have no idea why, but it just seems like a bad, bad idea.

Also:
I would consider my employers no better than thugs, goons, and thieves for what they've done and will likely continue to do. Then again, I cannot do that in clear conscience. I wouldn't want to insult the thugs, goons, and thieves of the world, do I?

Thursday, September 03, 2009

Webcomics

I like webcomics. I find it comforting to be able to check on them and read updates and just have something to occupy my mind for a bit, entertain me. Here are a few favorites. Note that, for the purposes of universal enjoyment, I have decided to remove any webcomic that may require knowledge of a specific niche or field to enjoy. This includes +EV and Order of the Stick.

Marry Me: a short, very touching story about a pop star and a guy (conveniently named Guy) who has one of those cliche "Marry Me" signs during her concert. They get married, and that, ladies and gents, is when one of the sweetest love stories in comic format begins.

Contemplating Reiko: perhaps one of the best webcomics that delves into very, very dark humor. If you're not turned off by things some might find offensive, such as torture and casual killing, then you're likely to find this rather enjoyable.

Out There: there's not a whole lot to be said about this one. It is a good comic about normal people. Or a normal comic about good people. It touches on ordinary people and their lives, with their ordinary problems and concerns, and that makes for very compelling material. Either way, it is perhaps one of the most compelling reads on the Internet, webcomic or not.

Queen of Wands: this webcomic is already complete, and it is also an excellent read. Insights into things everyone thinks about at one point or another, and a very compelling, very lovable cast. Don't let the name fool you; there's nothing in this that's occult but the name. An excellent, very well-written work.

Nana's Everyday Life: if this comic fails to make you feel sad or cry, then you have no heart, no soul, and no humanity.