And though I had slain a thousand foes less one,
The thousandth knife found my liver;
The thousandth enemy said to me,
'Now you shall die,
Now none shall know.'
And the fool, looking down, believed this,
Not seeing, above his shoulders, the naked stars,
Each one remembering.
--John M. Ford, The Final Reflection

The Asylum Director

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"The only thing I was fit for was to be a writer, and this rested solely on my suspicion that I would never be fit for real work, and that writing didn't require any." - Russel Baker

Saturday, June 11, 2005

A Few Things...

I've been thinking a little lately. I once said I'd never do fanfics again, that I was done with them but recently, I've been feeling that old inkling to infringe on someone else's creative property again and what's coming from the ol' Font de Diabolique is rather...creative. It's nothing short of parallel to my old fanfictions - the good ones - and it's alarming for me. And I've also been thinking back to what kept me writing fanfictions even after I'd somehow internally realized I (and the LH department of FFN) was really heading down really fast.

I spent the day pondering on a couple of other things as well, trying to see things as I did back when I wrote the original Shinjo No Aijo, along with Yuki's Diary - the two pieces of original fiction I carry a degree of pride at having finished. It alarms me to know that I'm so detached from the characters I do nowadays, to apart from the cast of my stories as compared to back when I was writing the 2 aforementioned stories. Now, I don't really know if that matters so much but I've always been driven by my characters. Like FFVIII's development, I've always created the cast first and revolved the storyt around them but now...if I'm detached from them, if I can't feel what they feel anymore, can I pull off another miracle like SNA or YD? It's a question I'm almost afraid to answer.

Of course, these are all rantings of someone who has his own writing history against him. It's also the meager ponderings of the mad, though I know I'm sane enough to understand that nobody really cares.

Ah well. Maybe I'll write them down anyway and use Shadow Rhapsody to house the thoughts, as this is not the place for it.

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