Gripe #8: One For The Old Guard

Well, well, well. Another Gripe from me. It has been a while, hasn't it? Don't worry. This one, like the others, is non-sensical, ill-informed, and highly subjective. Now, please pass the vitriol and we can begin.

The PS3

First off, let me express my dislike of Sony's PS3. I have liked the company's products for years, mind you, and am an avid fan of the PS1. My opinion of the PS2 has always been treading murky waters but the few good games for it compensated. However, regardless of the game quality, I cannot condone the PS3.

The damn console uses so much proprietary technology that it is ridiculous. Also, judging from the specifications and insider reports I got, I'm sure the PS3 has failed to address some of the practical problems that have plagued Playstations since the very first one was released.

Also, as much as I hate to admit it, I dislike the fact that Sony is the dominant console company today. It only means that all the crap-tastic games will be coming out mostly for the PS3, which eats away at people's money. Also, it has become clear that being the dominant console has had very negative effects on the quality of the games coming out. A number of games for the PS2 during this time, the closing years of the console, are utter garbage. After a bit of historical analysis, they're (comparatively) worse than the last few games to be released for other console wars dominators, like the SNES.

It would be nice of the X-Box 360 (which is an excellent system, though the game selection lacks tried and true RPGs) or the Nintento Wii (Mario, Samus, Pikachu, and Link are all Nintendo needs to stay afloat in the gaming world, really) could kick the PS3 off the top spot that it will inevitably claim. Sony should take a cue from Nintendo. Even though the console is far from dominant, the Gamecube has some of the best games out there. Metroid Prime (and the sequel, Metroid Prime 2: Echoes) is, by and large, infinitely more fun than most of the games to come out for the PS2.

Rest In Peace, Final Fantasy Series

As far as I am concerned, the Final Fantasy series is dead.

It started dying when Final Fantasy VII was released, though that was really just a flesh wound. At the very least, it featured a halfway decent plot but the villain was little more than a superpowered mama's boy and felt lacking. Still, at least Sephiroth was a more credible villain than Edea, Seifer, Kuja, or the horribly contrived Ultimecia. Don't get me started on the poor excuse for a villian that you get in Final Fantasy X. The death of a major character was a nice, poignant touch, but it served as little more than a way to extend a convoluted, confusing, and, at times, nonsensical plot. To make matters worse, the Materia system is a terrible system that just doesn't work.

Final Fantasy VIII, while I love the game because it was my first RPG (I went backwards through the series afterwards), was also a nail in the coffin. I confess that it is a good game on it's own but it is no Final Fantasy. The characters lacked development, save for Squall and Rinoa. Understandable, as most characters in a love story are poorly developed and serve only as background for the lovers to stand on. However, the easily abused Junction system and the level of combat interactivity threw me off. It didn't feel like Final Fantasy, a fact I realized after playing through the first game. Let's not even begin to talk about the lack of a credible villain in this story. Small consolation, I guess, is the fact that I actually am quite fond of the cast and am happy to see some of them in the Kingdom Hearts series.

Final Fantasy IX was the worst of the PS1 lot. Let's start with the Trance feature. I hate it. I despite it. I loathe it. Frankly, at the very least, the Limit Break systems from Final Fantasy VII and Final Fantasy VIII offered a degree of control over them, making them infinitely more useful. The fact that the Trance ability could not be controlled in any way made me sick. I felt as if it defeated the very purpose of having a system like that. What's the use of it if you can't save it for a battle when you'd really need it? Let's not even begin talking about the plot and characters, who are all distressingly annoying. The villain, Kuja, is also the worst villain in Final Fantasy history.

Final Fantasy X I consider to be in a similar vein to Final Fantasy VIII, which means I think it is a good game on it's own but it doesn't stack up to Final Fantasy standards. The main gripe I have it is that the plot lacks power. The love story is has is not as potent or well-delivered as Rinoa and Squall's. The darkness of the atmosphere lacks the true, overall dark appeal of Final Fantasy VII, which lures you in from the get-go with the slums of Midgar. Finally, the system it employs reminds me too much of Diablo for comfort. Of course, there's also the debacle that is Final Fantasy X-2 to take into account...

Final Fantasy XI doesn't count. It only bears the Final Fantasy name, none of the legend or legacy behind it. Sort of like the Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within movie. Standing alone, it is an above average product but it lacks the power to be desrving of the name.

Final Fantasy XII is what really killed the series for me. I'll give you one simple statement as to why: (almost) real-time combat. I liked the old ATB system. I love turn-based combat systems. I like having menus and commands and that little cursor/pointer thing. I like not having to worry about how fast I press buttons when I'm in an RPG combat situation. By making the combat what it is, Final Fantasy XII has effectively taken away what little RPG elements the game had after the four games that came before it. The plot is only marginally acceptable, as it is a good, solid plot but lacks Sakaguchi's signature. None of the characters are as memorable or as endearing, sadly. That is disappointing, as all the 3D Final Fantasy games before it (again, barring Final Fantasy XI) had at least one likeable character.

Final Fantasy XIII may or may not be the saving grace of the series for me. It looks nice enough and the graphics definitely feel like Final Fantasy again, unlike the 3 most recent outings. However, the combat is still carried out in the same way, which, in conjunction with the setting, makes it seem less Final Fantasy and more Halo.

***end gripe***

That's it for today. Work is still...work. I'm still not done doing what I want to do with Final Fantasy VI or Castlevania: Symphony Of The Night. I'm not done watching Buffy, The Vampire Slayer yet. I'm still re-working Tohya's second "book." My social life is still dead in the water. I'm still sure I'm going to lose the WAFF contest Tuxy has, as well as still being a Mod on his forums. I'm still hammering out the details for my other fiction project, currently called Project: X because I can't think of anything else to name it. Yeah, nothing much has changed....

Bits

Well, I've decided to focus on Tohya for a while, though with a few changes. I've decided to drop the current section, XI, completely. I'm dropping it in favor of a re-write in the 3rd person. I'm re-tooling the timeline, the setting, and quite a few of the characters. I think I'll keep Kelly Kincaid and Isabel Zhang, as well as the prerequisite Kanako Tohya and "Yuki," though most of the cast will likely be altered. I might throw in Atma di Magdalena, who is supposed to appear in my other project, as a monkey wrench.

As for my other project, I'm not really building onto it much. A vampiric Romeo & Juliet is a nice thought and all, but I don't think I have it in me to do that as of yet. As for Atma, she was supposed to appear as one of the main characters of this project but her predatory lesbian tendencies make her an ideal source of conflict and confrontation to the more benign appearance of Kanako Tohya. Well, maybe Tohya's Atma will be a pre-vampire version of her. Maybe.

And...

Happy Birthday Mikki!

Congratulations on the baby, too!

I'm Losing My Touch

I'm...well, I'm not entirely sure.

Creatively, I haven't completely stalled on XI, though I have re-tooled it (and Yuki's Diary) to fit into the context of a 3-part novel, currently given the title Tohya. Tohya is designed to be...well, I'm not entirely sure about that either. I mean, we glimpse her modus operandi in the first part, Yuki's Diary, and we see a touch of her personal and "professional" evolution in XI, but beyond that...I'm not sure. The idea is to make it come in 3 books, though I think it needs more. We've covered Kanako Tohya's murderous nature and her motivation, to a degree, in the first part. The second part shows off more of her twisted psyche, as well as a shift in her chosen "tools of the trade." The third would be used to elaborate on her past, on the "how and why" of Tohya. Yet, in reality, none of them are really written from her point of view.

I mean, YD was mostly from Yuki's, perspective, which is distorted because the two play mind games on each other. The second part is written from the eyes of another girl, one that's in her care and is quickly falling for her. I don't want to write a part grounded on Tohya's POV, as she's not a character who's comfortable with such. I don't want to return to Yuki's perspective long-term, though the way she "returns" in the story makes for an interesting avenue. Or, perhaps, an entirely different character is needed for the third book. Maybe someone taking notes on Kanako's mental condition? Though that last option requires a degree of trust that the character isn't eager to give out to anyone, especially after what happened to her "dearest Yuki."

In any case, at least my problem tells me that Tohya is alive and well in my head.

Which gives cause for us to move along...

As for my other fiction works, they've definitely stalled. My "dark fantasy" project is dead, though I managed to claw out a half-decent setting for it. I guess I decided to kill it when it started to seem too fantasy-flavored for my tastes. I'm thinking of doing a Gothic horror (well, as Gothic horror as I can make something) tragic romance. Think Romeo & Juliet meets Vampire: The Requiem and you'll get my idea. I'm not sure how far this version of the idea will get, though I intend to make it a better planned out one that the last time it brewed in my head. After all, what's more romantic than offering fresh blood, straight from the throat, to the lady you're wooing?

In my personal life, things have...changed. A friend from my previous work, I have just learned, is pregnant. Her birthday is tomorrow and I have no idea what to give her. If I can't think of one in time, I'll just cop out, buy a CD-R and burn onto it the songs in my collection that I know she enjoys listening to. If nothing else, it is better than nothing. I'd toyed around with the idea of burning a second disc filled with my orchestral music selection but I don't think she'd enjoy that.

Work is still work, as it has always been. I'm getting both tired and used to what my regular assignment is now. At the start, you feel a little overwhelmed by it. Then, you get a sense of wonder after you get used to it. Finally, it just gets old as you start noticing you're rehashing the same thing over and over again.

I've been re-watching Buffy, The Vampire Slayer. Much enjoyment. If nothing else, this will help me reaffirm the fact that Spike is my favorite character in the show. That, and I need to watch the entire second season and half of the third season, which I missed out on when it was showing in this neck of the woods.

I'm this close to finishing Final Fantasy VI, which is good and bad. Good because I feel the sense of satisfaction and sadistic enjoyment that I got when I hit disc 4 of Final Fantasy VIII. Bad because I don't feel inclined to start all over again and play through the game favoring a different party configuration, which is reminscent of my feelings after Final Fantasy VII. I also am not quite sure who to bring along to the end.

I know I'm going to bring Terra and Celes along (due to the fact that, by and large, they're the characters I'm most comfortable using and, therefore, my best) but the other two slots are...sketchy, at best. Shadow's Throw skill is useful since I've got a lot of stuff he can use as ammo but his offensive capacity beyond that is a little low. However, I won't really have any need for those weapons once the game's done, which is the same logic I have for setting up Setzer and his GP Toss ability. Edgar's nice and powerful, though I can't decide between the Dragoon Edgar set-up, or have him hold 2 weapons. Sabin, as of now, is too weak for me, and his Blitz skills (in my opinion) are not all that they're cracked up to be. Relm I'm considering solely for the cuteness factor, though her magic skills are up there with Terra and Celes, but her defense is...lacking. The rest...don't fit in that well with my plans. Eh, I'll figure it out when I get there.

In more news, I've become a Mod for Tuxedo Jack's forums. How odd, that. I have no qualifications for the job, aside from the ability to observe the forums for hours at a time while I really should be working, and a working knowledge of what is and is not to be considered spam there. I don't have any idea what the reason for this is, though for the most part, nothing's changed save for me moving a spam thread to where it belongs. Why am I talking about this like it matters? I don't know, actually. The last time something of this happened to me, people thought I was a Chiense lesbian blackjack dealer in Macau and made me Mod of their forums, which was essentially a femmeslash discussion board. Didn't last. The forums, I mean.

In The Air...

'Tis the season...

Let it never be said that I have the Christmas spirit in me. I never have and chances are, I never will. I just never found the point in the whole "goodwill to all men" propaganda only during one time of year. Echoing the idea of countless others before me and countless others after me, why only be good to others during one season? Why not all the time? If we're going to be nasty for most of the year, why not make it all year? Just drop the whole Christmas season garbage altogether. It'll make things easier on us.

Anyway, let us move on to more important things...

XI is chugging along. I've dropped it as my contest entry in Tuxedo Jack's forums, though I've written/reconstructed an old Love Hina fanfic as replacement entry. While I can re-tool the events of XI to fit with the WAFF theme, it won't be the same story I set out to write. So the contest, rather than getting the second part of a seriously twisted little story, gets more Love Hina shoujo-ai fanfics from the man who was once known as the lord and master of Love Hina shoujo-ai fanfics.

That fic was actually an unusual little thing. The original idea was supposed to be 2 things: a shoujo-ai saga (much like my celebrated fanfic Black and White) and a musical. Yes, a musical. It woudl have used Eyes on Me from Final Fantasy VIII, Aria Di Mezzo Carattere from Final Fantasy VI, and even One Winged Angel from Final Fantasy VII. I also managed to work in a scene for All I Ask Of You, from The Phantom of The Opera. Hell, I even managed to work in The Game by Motorhead and Sweet Child Of Mine by Guns N' Roses in the mix. I also mixed in a few songs from the local music industry, like Side A's Tell Me and Beautiful Girl by Jose Mari Chan.

Yes, the old Kanako/Mutsumi piece would have been a grand spectacle...

If it had gotten off the ground.

Mind you, I have the outline somewhere, as well as the scenes that needed the songs but...well, let's just say, a few days after I finished the outline, I made the drastic decision to drop out of fanfiction for good. The 'for good' part is a little...sketchy, at best.

My other project is dead. It had a good run as a playground of ideas but, in the end, the races reminded me too much of Tolkien's Middle-Earth races in The Lord of The Rings, so I dropped the idea. Granted, none of the races I made are even remotely like any of the thousand and one breeds of Elf Tolkien made, but it didn't feel right. Writing fantasy just doesn't seem right anymore. Hell, reading and playing fantasy doesn't feel right anymore, save for the rare exceptions, like the Final Fantasy series' first six games (I refuse to acknowledge the remaining games as part of the series, for reasons I'll one day explain). However, it did give me enough of a creative boost to pick up on an older idea of mine, though how long that boost will last is debatable, at best.

Things in my life, socially speaking, are askew, as always. A couple of good friends (who are also a couple, from what I last heard) have moved from their old job to a new one, which is closer to my current location, though their shift schedule is drastically different from mine. I'm still managing to get into contact and engage in a few quick chats with my former Ambergris Solutions workmates, which sort of alleviates the fact that I don't really have as close a bond with my new workmates as I do my old ones. In particular, I can name a few names that I really wish I saw more often nowadays...

I miss Gara, Che, Mikkitik, Lei, Cy, TJ, Robert...I even miss our old trainer, Sarge Joma. Good times, good times.

Not to say that I don't get along with the people here at Intelligraph. I just haven't found enough common ground with them to feel close. A couple of them I share a common interest with, though nothing major. Oh well, at least I enjoy the work more than taking in calls for Dell. I also get to have more time to relax, engage in my hobbies, and just spend time with the warped thoughts in my head. I finally have the time to go through my box set DVD of Buffy, The Vampire Slayer, for example. Now, if only I could find my box set DVD of That '70s Show and Fate/Stay Night.

Ain't piracy grand?

I've also recently purchased the 4th original audio CD I've ever bought. The previous three, in order, were Hikaru Utada's First Love, Hikaru Utada's Exodus, and the Guilty Gear XX: LA Vocal Edition album. The fourth one is Grand Finale: Final Fantasy VI. The last one I bought almost solely for the vocals on Aria Di Mezzo Carattere. I'm considering getting eithr the Chrono Cross OST or the Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater OST next, if I can remind myself to do so when I get my next paycheck. Of course, that Fate/Stay Night OST looks mighty tempting...

Well, that's all for now. For the 2 people who are bored enough to actually read this, let me end by quoting Johnny Gomez of Celebrity Deathmatch fame:

"Good fight, good night."

(Ab)Normal Circumstances

Well, let me see...I don't feel like putting up a serious post, so here's a list of 10 random things in my head.

1. Untitled project is still in planning stages. Main characters now being developed. Setting almost completely developed. Just need to create the 108 different realms, or at least assign them names.

2. XI is still going, though slowly. There's been a slight snag but I've figured out a way around it.

3. Still playing Final Fantasy VI and I'm nowhere near the end of the game yet.

4. I've stalled playing Castlevania: Symphony of the Night for the time being.

5. My head hurts.

6. I really feel like going to a casino and playing roulette all of a sudden.

7. Gun N' Roses rocks. Hard. So does Deadeye Dick. And Metallica. But Emo sucks.

8. I miss my Ambergris co-workers. We had some good times.

9. I'm slightly melancholic at the moment.

10. I can't believe I'm listening to Britney Spears and not feeling the urge to kill myself for listening to such crap.

Another Word From Our Sponsor

Time - 07:21, Manila time
Temporary placeholder for later post:
Pic of Nina Minami

Actual post should come a little later...

Time - 07:48, Manila Time

Okay, isn't the above picture just tempting? Very attractive, isn't she? Well, Nina Minami has managed to successfully re-awaken my dormant Japanese Idol fetish, which never really went away. It just slept for a while after I'd scoured every resource I could to find pics of Rena Tanaka. Nina-chan is relatively unknown, likely not all that popular in Japan either. However, she's one of the most attractive women I've ever seen and definitely worth the trouble searching for info and media of her on the Internet. When I saw first saw a pic of her (not the one above, something a little less revealing), I knew I had to base the appearance of the Kaijin race (for my currently in planning stages original fiction project) on her and name the lead character after her.

Anyway, moving along...

Very much thanks to a sudden infusion of sexy and cute Idol pics, I've got my creative spark back. I'm only averaging about half a "chapter" (I use the term quite loosely) a day, but that's better than a paragraph a day. I think I might finish my Tuxedo Jack contest entry in time, with a little luck. I think I rushed the events of the next chapter a bit, though that does open up an entirely new avenue for me to test out. I think the story can turn out beautifully with the WAFFy ending everyone wants. Or it could turn out the way I envision it to, which can lead to a potential next arc in Kanako Tohya's mad, mad story but is definitely as depraved and as warped as the revised end of Yuki's Diary.

Aside from that, my aforementioned untitled fiction project is going along nicely. I've come to dislike the fantasy fiction genre over the years, mainly because everything seems to stem from Tolkien. Every author after him has ripped off his interpretations of elves, dwarves, and even ripped off the halflings, his original creations. I'm sick of it. Dungeons and Dragons come very, very close to being original, if only because you can custom-craft the setting to your tastes, even if the races are still Tolkien-rips. Still, I can't fault Dungeons and Dragons too much, especially since they developed the Ravenloft campaign setting, the most original treatment of fantasy I've seen in years. My project is likely as much fantasy as it is supernatural, though the way things are set up, it is very different from Tolkien fantasy.

Gaming-wise, I'm still in Final Fantasy VI. I just lost Terra as she flew out screaming in Esper form, so I've decided to take my time and try to level up my characters first. I'm thinking level 20 before they actually begin a formal search for Terra would be appropriate. As of now, I'm planning on building up my final team: Celes, Terra (absent), Cyan, and Sabin. I'll level up the others as well, but I don't think I'll be focusing on them. Thinking of replacing Cyan with Shadow later on, or maybe Edgar. Locke doesn't fit my overall plan, though I'm sure he'll come in handy in a few battles. Whichever seems the more appropriate choice. Certainly, there's an intense level of thinking involved in Final Fantasy VI since it does matter who you bring along to a fight.

My brother has finally reached Disc 3 of Final Fantasy VII. He's only level...51 or so, so I'm bugging him to get in a few fights and level up. Maybe take on the Weapons. Of course, part of me wants him to finish now, so I don't have to ever have to look at that stupid game again. Ever.

Anyway, back to work. May add more later on.

Oh, for those who are wondering. The reason why so little of my personal life makes it to this is because I don't really have much of a personal life. Not since I left Ambergris Solutions. I don't think I've ever fit in so well anywhere else, except among the voices of the characters I've created that play out in my head. Or on some parts of the Internet. So there.

It Settles

Well, the malevolent storm in my head has finally settles down and I can think straight (more or less) again.

Not much to say, except that I've decided to re-tool XI for the contest over at Tuxedo Jack's place. I've also gotten to the third part of it, as well as edited Yuki's Diary to serve as a prequel (or something) to it. It'll all tie in eventually. I took XI and Akatsuki off of FictionPress and I don't intend to ever write anything for that site again.

Anyway, links to part 2 and 3 on deviantART, as well as the link to the thread the story's on:

Part 2

Part 3

Tuxedo Jack thread

In the thread, you'll even see a slight progress timeline of just how chaotic my concept of this piece actually is. It'll also likely serve as a more accessible archive for the whole thing, as it'll be divided into parts on my deviantART account, which makes for a rough reading experience.

Also, I've been playing Final Fantasy VI a lot lately, while my brother is intent on finishing Final Fantasy VII solely because of Yuffie Kisaragi. Interestingly, the only reason I actually bothered to finish Final Fantasy VII even once was because of Yuffie. I thoroughly enjoyed Yuffie's presence in Kingdom Hearts 2 and I think she and Leon (*cough*Squall*cough*) make an excellent couple. She's certainly better for him than, say, Rinoa or Quistis. Come to think of it, Yuffie would make a great match for Cloud. Or Terra from Final Fantasy VI. Speaking of which, more FFVI characters should appear in Kingdom Hearts, for as long as they don't ruin them.

That's all for now. Back to work, playing Final Fantasy VI, and writing XI.

Decisions, Decisions

I've made a couple of decisions.

First, since Tuxy's allowing original fiction into his contest, I'm throwing my hat in. I know I won't win and even if I do, it won't do me much good but I think I should enter anyway. I'm afraid I've forgotten how to write WAFF (warm and fuzzy feelings for the unaware) and a contest is the best way (for me) to get back in that particular aspect of the game. Granted, he's right in saying it might become darkWAFF but it might not. Nothing ever goes according to plan for me and this contest isn't likely to become an exception to the rule.

Second, I've decided to decrease focus on XI for a bit. I actually want to focus on my contest entry for the time being and writing XI at the same time isn't good for that. I'll add bits and pieces to XI as I go along but don't expect me to focus on it as much as before. Still, the fact that only one "part" of the thing has been completed so far gives me some comfort. I am thinking of removing it completely from FictionPress, however, since I really should stop putting stuff up on the site. To be frank, I think I should take down all my written works there. The site is just too big and too open to be effective in its purpose. However, I think I'll only remove the ones I posted after I left the site, namely: XI and Akatsuki. deviantART gets to keep XI however, as I intend to update it there somewhat infrequently. I trust it more than FP. I'm also thinking of putting XI up on Tuxy's forums, for no good reason.


Other things:

I'm actually looking forward to Pacquiao-Morales III. I'm no sports fan but there are some things that, as a Filipino, you can't help but get swept into. There's Batista of the WWE, who's half-Filipino. There's the infamous Ateneo-La Salle rivalry that plays out every year in the UAAP (college basketball for the foreigners who are unaware). There's Django Bustamante and Efren 'Bata' Reyes, billiards champions who I've had the pleasure of meeting in person. And of course, the aformentioned Pacquaio-Morales III fight. To be honest, I didn't actually show much interest in the first fight but the second one made me want to see what all the hype was about. It was the moment Morales got knocked out that I got it.

Now that I'm off the Love Hina Fanboy War hook for good, I can finally completely, 100% turn my back on fanfiction. I won't deny I had a decent run but I won't go back to it. As far as I'm concerned, I can finally free myself of that constraint. Though I'm still intent on helping out Star Otaku with her fanfic, for as long as she wants me to. It has been a long, long time since she started that and, to be honest, I was interested in it then and I'm interested in it now.

Oh well, back to work.

A Little Bit Of This, A Little Bit Of That

I've finally gotten around to playing Final Fantasy VI again, though I'm still finishing up on Alisa's scenario in Front Mission 3. I know I loved Front Mission 3 the first time around but I never realized just how much depth the game had until this, my second run through. Much fun to be had, especially since you get the chance to rig the Miss Teihoku contest bit so she wins. Though, I have to admit, Hodaka's a lot cuter than Alisa is. As for Final Fantasy VI, I finished it once but I never got around to getting everything and completing every little detail of it. I certainly wasn't as thorough with that game as I was with...Final Fantasy VIII or Legend of Dragoon, for example.

XI is proceeding sluggishly, but it is being worked on. I get to write bits and pieces at a time, so I'm not sure how the pacing is going to come out. I'm still on the second scene of the story, where I introduce an old friend from Yuki's Diary - the only major character of that story to have actually survived. I'm not entirely sure to go with the original plan and make XI a direct sequel to Yuki's Diary or to go in an entirely new direction and only make the YD character a presence in the overall plot (or lack of plot) of XI. In any case, I have plenty of time to settle on that.

I recently read about the love-themed fanfic writing contest on Tuxy's forums and, frankly, I'm tempted to join, even if I know that I can't win and that even if I somehow do, I won't get my hands on the prizes. Tempting because, well, for the Hell of it, really. But then, I realize that would be tantamount to both spitting in the face of the original author of whatever show I pick from and turning my back on my own convictions on the matter. Vae Victis is an exception, as it was started before I made my decision and I have to finish it - even if what everyone else gets is merely a rough outline of what's supposed to happen and how it was supposed to end. I'll consider biting into the contest, if only to see how things go before I get sick of myself.

I realized that, in my life, nothing ever seems to go according to plan. Nothing. Is that wrong? I guess some would say its a sign of my being a random figure, or something like that. The accurate term escapes me at the moment. For example, when I wrote Shinjo No Aijo, against the logical flow of the story, the final pairing for the main character was not what is seen in the story. It was supposed to be one of the androids. When I wrote the Love Hina shoujo-ai fanfic Black and White, Kanako and Motoko were not supposed to have a happy ending. Kanako was slated to die in her duel with Shinja and Motoko would leave Hinata Sou, never to return there or to her home in Kyoto. The final scene was supposed to be one where Keitaro thinks he spots someone near his sister's grave that looks vaguely like Motoko. It also would have opened up the way for a sequel, where Shinobu and Motoko meet again after a decade has passed. That idea got...modified into my Shinobu/Kanako fic, Angel Light, Angel Dark. I had planned to stay in Ambergris Solutions until my contract was up and beyond, but I changed my mind because, frankly, the company didn't pay me enough to put up with the bullshit that Dell was making me put up with. I wasn't a fool and I wasn't going to hang around long enough for Dell to turn me into one.

So, the question now becomes "why can't I stick to a plan?" I honestly don't know. I hardly ever manage to accomplish a plan, unless it involves buying something, in which case, it happens regularly enough. Of course, I don't really plan on buying anything - most of my purchases are spur of the moment, or brought about by a last-minute realized need. Funny, that. Maybe I just need to be more organized or something. I mean, even this entry (and all other entries) in the blog are unplanned, random bits of chaos. Maybe this all stems from my belief that the ultimate, underlying principle of existence is chaos, that everything (even the laws of nature and science) stems from it.

In other thoughts, I don't know whether to be happy or not with the news that only 5 people from Dell ABU Batch 5 remain in Ambergris Solutions. I should be happy because, if I recall correctly, none of us really felt like we were cut out for the job, or liked the job, or were being paid enough to put up with the job. Of course, my recollection of that is a little hazy since I spent most of my time either adjusting to my teammates or with Grace. Then again, I tend to do that everywhere I go - except for my current workplace, Intelligraph, but that's a different situation. I think I should be sad about the Dell ABU situation because, well, I think it must get lonely for the last 5 sometimes. Even in the short time we knew each other, we bonded really well. I've never felt like I belonged in any group more than I did there, so it does seem a bit of a downer for me to hear that we've all been scattered across the call center/outsourcing world.

I guess, at the very least, I still have contact with them. And the old album at Photobucket. Always a good place. I also still have access to Grace's Photobucket account (because I set it up for her) and her e-mail. I also have cell #s for most of them, though contacting them can be a little difficult since I'm a daywalker now but most of them are still nocturnal. I'll find a way around that.

Well, I really should get back to work now. Wasted enough time already, not that I actually need that time, though.

Done. Sort of.

Well, I uploaded it to FictionPress and deviantART, anyway. XI, that is. I considered retaining the title sanctuary but I opted for tradition instead, sticking to the slightly eponymous naming system of the original Yuki's Diary. So I decided to use XI, the nickname that the narrator of the story uses. The main reason she calls herself XI is...I haven't come up with a name for her yet. Her name just has to be perfect for her personality, so I figure I'd write the story first and get to know her as it goes along rather than force a name on her and force the narration to conform to my perception of that name.


deviantART version

FictionPress version

Due to submission guidelines, in the event that more adult-themed scenes make it into the story, I'll put up an edited version on deviantART, while FictionPress get's the unedited version.

I think my addiction to deviantART picture raiding has faded a bit. I've managed to take any and all pictures that I've found even remotely interesting and I'm just finishing up on a few that I didn't take before at the moment. I have a couple of specific fetishes I wouldn't mind having more pics of on my HD but they're not major interests, so I don't think I'll be delving too deep into those fields. Also, deviantART can't help me find the CGs of the infamous, the legendary Yukirin of Japan. A few mentions are made but those are mostly by deviants looking for her.


Oh, how I miss Snow Apple.


Well, let us move on then.

I've started to play Front Mission 3 again, taking on the scenario I missed the first time around: Alisa's story. Part of me is sorry in missing out on Moneymaker (she's my favorite character from then Emma scenario, you see, even though everyone else finds her annoying) but I'm hoping the other characters can compensate for that loss. I'm too lazy to actually have to work as hard as I did the first time through though, so I thought I'd use a few quick cheats to make it easier on me. I've also re-started Castlevania: Symphony of the Night all over again. I can't seem to tire of that game, or Aria of Sorrow.


And I can't believe my brother is playing that piece of shit Final Fantasy VII.

I take all the blame.

Oh well, not much to say for now. Back to work.