I've just come to realize something.
I'm wasting a lot of good material on the stuff I write for work. There's a lot of material there that could really be put to better use as a blog entry, particularly the pieces of mine that focus on stuff like corporate catch-22 situations, workplace-related stress, and "going postal."
No wonder I can't come up with even half-decent posts anymore. Damn.
That settles it. Working is bad for creativity. Well, mine at least.
And...there's no further point to this post, is there?
Let me get back to you when I have a draft of a scene from this side project I'm working on.
The Asylum Director
- VIIIofSwords
- "The only thing I was fit for was to be a writer, and this rested solely on my suspicion that I would never be fit for real work, and that writing didn't require any." - Russel Baker
Thursday, August 30, 2007
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
I Smell Disaster On The Horizon
I smell disaster on the horizon for School Days.
Someone. Is. Going. To. Die.
I have the strangest feeling that this show is going to follow the "Conclusion of Blood" ending, though the "Eternity" ending is just as likely at this point. I suppose later episodes will help lend more clues as to whether Kotonoha dies or Sekai does, but at this point, I don't particularly care. Despite my misgivings early on about the show, I have to admit that School Days is actually a decent adaptation of the original material.
However, to better understand what I'm rambling on about, we'll need to summarize the show a bit.
Let's start off with the basic facts. Makoto likes Kotonoha, but only because she's very physically attractive. He also exhibits stalker-like tendencies. Sekai, in an attempt to be the helpful friend, gives him advice on how to get Kotonoha to notice him. She also goes on recon to get a bit of information on Kotonoha. Kotonoha, for her part, actually likes Makoto and considers Sekai to be her friend. She also admits that she found Makoto's stalker-like behavior prior to actually talking to her to be rather attractive.
However...there are problems. Makoto, being the impulsive piece of trash that he is, experiences difficulty in adjusting to how sensitive Kotonoha is. She's very closed off and seems almost afraid of sexual contact, which frustrates Makoto, as all he really wants from her is sex, sex, and more sex. Being the idiot that he is, Makoto fails to realize that and ends up being "trained" by Sekai on how to properly approach Kotonoha for sex. However, things go a little too far and the two end up in bed. Repeat this cycle for an extended period, until fate conspires to put Kotonoha back into Makoto's mind in the form of a rain shower and a drenched cardigan. Kotonoha eventually finds out and confronts Sekai as the latter is leaving Makoto's apartment.
Now, throw in the fact that Otome, one of Kotonoha's classmates, also makes the stupid mistake of liking Makoto, and you've got some trouble. Particularly because Otome is quite adamant and adept at using her friends to bully Kotonoha and discourage her. Throw in Setsuna, who is heading for France, and you've got another angle to this. Particularly after a long day at the school, where Kotonoha catches Setsuna kissing a sleeping Makoto. Things escalate the following day, when one of Makoto's friends reveals that to Kotonoha that she has been betrayed. Meanwhile, Otome is getting what she wants and is having sex with Makoto, which effectively is a betrayal of both Kotonoha and Sekai. To top it all off, the end of episode 9 (the current episode) hints that Makoto's friend, Taisuke, may or may not have forced himself on Kotonoha.
So, where does this all lead us? Disaster!
I swear, somebody is going to die by the end of this. I'd be severely, severely disappointed if that doesn't happen, as all the events so far seem to be leading to that. Although I'd be perfectly content with an ending where Makoto dies, even if it leaves Kotonoha incurably insane and Sekai scarred for life. At the very least, that idiot will get what's coming to him.
For now, I just have to remind myself that there are only three episodes to go.
Monday, August 27, 2007
I Ought To Stop Thinking So Damn Much
As I sit here, eating pancakes in front of a PC I loathe and wishing I had my own PC at work, I found myself thinking.
Which is a bad thing for someone like me at a time like this.
Thinking too much just leads me to heaps and heaps of trouble, which inevitably only serves me from completing my self-appointed tasks and fiction projects. Seriously, thinking too much has served to impede my ability to write. It blocks the creative process in my head, which tends to make whatever I write while thinking tends to be...sub-par. Granted, I see enough quality in them to get want to finish them, but there's a reason for my increasingly large folder named "Unfinished Business," folks. I can barely even think about what to say here.
Another problem I've noticed is that thinking also leads me to speculate, which leads me to develop a deep sense of paranoia. If I start thinking for too long, I start to feel that there are bad things coming, and that I'm about to get screwed big time. There's never any concrete evidence of that, nor does anything happen (most of the time), but that doesn't really help alleviate my paranoia.
Bleh.
My mind is running dry of concrete thought at the moment, rendering me unable to produce even a half-decent post. This is alarming, though that may indicate that my mental state is more geared towards other things. That thought also alarms me, though for different reasons. Well, let's just leave things like this before I begin to rant about things I really ought not to talk about, shall we?
Anyway, here's something to tide you folks over:
I like the Blood Elves.
Which is a bad thing for someone like me at a time like this.
Thinking too much just leads me to heaps and heaps of trouble, which inevitably only serves me from completing my self-appointed tasks and fiction projects. Seriously, thinking too much has served to impede my ability to write. It blocks the creative process in my head, which tends to make whatever I write while thinking tends to be...sub-par. Granted, I see enough quality in them to get want to finish them, but there's a reason for my increasingly large folder named "Unfinished Business," folks. I can barely even think about what to say here.
Another problem I've noticed is that thinking also leads me to speculate, which leads me to develop a deep sense of paranoia. If I start thinking for too long, I start to feel that there are bad things coming, and that I'm about to get screwed big time. There's never any concrete evidence of that, nor does anything happen (most of the time), but that doesn't really help alleviate my paranoia.
Bleh.
My mind is running dry of concrete thought at the moment, rendering me unable to produce even a half-decent post. This is alarming, though that may indicate that my mental state is more geared towards other things. That thought also alarms me, though for different reasons. Well, let's just leave things like this before I begin to rant about things I really ought not to talk about, shall we?
Anyway, here's something to tide you folks over:
I like the Blood Elves.
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
Stagnant Change
Change is a constant. Ironic as that statement is, there is little denying that. Regardless of what goes on in the world, the only certainty is that things are going to change. Of course, the more things change, the more they tend to stay the same. You fight a war to depose one despotic autocrat, and you end up having to deal with another despotic autocrat. You fund a rebel group to eliminate a political enemy's influence in a country, and you end up fighting that same rebel group once they become your political enemy in that country. The fact is, change is hardly really as potent a force as everyone seems to think it is. Change is only a powerful force when the people are there to truly enforce change. Louis XIV pulled it off with his reforming the government of France during his reign. Where does that leave "civilization" and "society," you may ask? Frankly, I don't particularly care.
However, I do care that, regardless of where I go, things tend to stay the same.
Sure, the screw-ups of management and the superiors are different, but the general spirit remains the same. Companies still find ways to breed discontent and damage the morale of their employees, often without intentionally doing so. This is, of course, all linked to the overwhelming power of profit. The fact is, when you work in a business, the needs of the business come first and the needs of the employees are a far, far second. The company or the nature of the work may seem better, but there are little elements you pick up on that make you wonder if the place you're working at now is just as screwed up as the place you left, albeit in a different form. It is, of course, a rather disturbing possibility.
I'm not at liberty to discuss what I know and what I've heard, but I'm starting to think that aside from the venue and location, not much has changed. Sure, I don't feel the inevitable desire to slaughter my way through upper management just yet, I have a feeling things are going to be at that point eventually. Just how far "eventually" is going to be, I can't safely say right now.
I'm just a little worried at the moment. The division is new and the company isn't exactly an old veteran in the Philippine business world, though it is a fairly established corporate entity in the US. With that in mind, I can forgive a few slip-ups here and there. However, certain things are starting to alarm me, as they remind me of the philosophies and tendencies inherent to the Gene Cruz School of Mismanagement. There is no certainty of anything at the moment, except for the fact that changes are coming and, from what I've seen, those changes are not good.
I'll go into detail on this at a later date. For now, suffice it to say that things are starting to become...worrying at worst and troublesome at best.
So, where do I stand right now?
I'm exercising my right to be patient and meditate. I guess I've become a little too critical of management mistakes, not to mention become a little too suspicious of pretty much anyone who happens to be a corporate decision maker, after Intelligraph Corporation. I can't quite say if the people running this three-ring circus are graduates of the Gene Cruz School of Mismanagement, with the exception of one particular individual whose name I will not mention, but I guess I wouldn't be surprised if I find out that's the case.
Still, change works both ways. Just as there is ample room for negative development, there is also ample room for positive development. There are a number of ways that the place could be improved, ranging from policies to client's orders to procedures. So I sit, wait, and observe. Things could still go one way or another, and even if Ascend Asia turns out to be Intelligraph 2.0, well...we'll have to burn that bridge when we get there, won't we?
Anyway, for added value to this otherwise pointless post, here again is Maria Ozawa:
And a link to the oddly relaxing Reimu Hakurei Clock.
However, I do care that, regardless of where I go, things tend to stay the same.
Sure, the screw-ups of management and the superiors are different, but the general spirit remains the same. Companies still find ways to breed discontent and damage the morale of their employees, often without intentionally doing so. This is, of course, all linked to the overwhelming power of profit. The fact is, when you work in a business, the needs of the business come first and the needs of the employees are a far, far second. The company or the nature of the work may seem better, but there are little elements you pick up on that make you wonder if the place you're working at now is just as screwed up as the place you left, albeit in a different form. It is, of course, a rather disturbing possibility.
I'm not at liberty to discuss what I know and what I've heard, but I'm starting to think that aside from the venue and location, not much has changed. Sure, I don't feel the inevitable desire to slaughter my way through upper management just yet, I have a feeling things are going to be at that point eventually. Just how far "eventually" is going to be, I can't safely say right now.
I'm just a little worried at the moment. The division is new and the company isn't exactly an old veteran in the Philippine business world, though it is a fairly established corporate entity in the US. With that in mind, I can forgive a few slip-ups here and there. However, certain things are starting to alarm me, as they remind me of the philosophies and tendencies inherent to the Gene Cruz School of Mismanagement. There is no certainty of anything at the moment, except for the fact that changes are coming and, from what I've seen, those changes are not good.
I'll go into detail on this at a later date. For now, suffice it to say that things are starting to become...worrying at worst and troublesome at best.
So, where do I stand right now?
I'm exercising my right to be patient and meditate. I guess I've become a little too critical of management mistakes, not to mention become a little too suspicious of pretty much anyone who happens to be a corporate decision maker, after Intelligraph Corporation. I can't quite say if the people running this three-ring circus are graduates of the Gene Cruz School of Mismanagement, with the exception of one particular individual whose name I will not mention, but I guess I wouldn't be surprised if I find out that's the case.
Still, change works both ways. Just as there is ample room for negative development, there is also ample room for positive development. There are a number of ways that the place could be improved, ranging from policies to client's orders to procedures. So I sit, wait, and observe. Things could still go one way or another, and even if Ascend Asia turns out to be Intelligraph 2.0, well...we'll have to burn that bridge when we get there, won't we?
Anyway, for added value to this otherwise pointless post, here again is Maria Ozawa:
And a link to the oddly relaxing Reimu Hakurei Clock.
Monday, August 20, 2007
Fiction: An Act Of Mercy
She always went to the same hospital and made her way along the same hallways, always with the same silent footsteps. Footsteps that seemed unnaturally silent, preternaturally graceful. The patients and the night staff all knew, instinctively, that she was there. They understood her nature and the purpose for her arrival. There were a few who refused to accept her actions, more still that held true to their belief that she was violating some ethical rule or another, but few really vocally objected to her being there. After all, it wasn't as if she came there every night. She only came, in her own words, when someone in the hospital called out to her, required the one thing she could give them that modern society was unwilling to. So it was that she stopped by room 314, one of the rooms of the hospital's ICU.
In the room was a young woman. Terminally ill, as she had been for most of her life, she had every right to resent the world, to want society to pay for her pain, and to want to just die. However, every negative emotion and thought she had a right to harbor seemed alien to her. She was oddly perky and bright for someone in her position, despite her clear affection for black and the darker shades of red. The figure had heard the girl described as a "perky goth" by some of the other regular fixtures of the hospital. She was most often referred to by that nickname by the two nurses that tended to her, both of whom seemed particularly fond of the girl's cheerful and friendly demeanor. Yet, they were also aware of the underlying deception of that cheerful facade. In a childlike manner that only anyone can pick up on but only a child can understand, the little girl with the fatal heart ailment was afraid of death.
So her mind called out to the hospital's near-mythical "Angel of Mercy."
"Hello there," the figure called to the girl.
A smile. "You are real."
There was an interesting comparison between the two that both had managed to pick up on rather quickly. The patient was hardly a child, but she was no woman. She was just barely 16, still in the flower of life. She had a prettiness to her that carried her cheery smile well, making it twice as potent and, to most observers, twice as difficult to understand. She looked typical of girls of her age in most respects, save that her muscles had less definition, her skin was just a little paler. Oh, but the life in her eyes! There was that spark of life in them, the drive to experience the fullness of life that was missing from so many among the living, that set her apart the most.
The figure didn't look that much older. Her innocent, shy face looked just a little over 17 or 18, though her figure suggested she was a little closer to early 20s in age. She moved with the grace of a ballerina, but the poise betrayed a strength to her that was hidden deep beneath the calm, angelic exterior. She was also oddly pale, though she didn't seem like an albino. Her skin resembled that of someone who was anemic, lacking the blood to bring color to her flesh. In days gone by, that feature made her those moments when she blushed more adorable, which compounded with her natural shyness and unusual aura of cuteness. Her eyes, however, were the most striking, as they seemed to be an unnatural shade of blue.
"You know, for a while there I didn't think you were real," the girl said as the figure came closer.
"It is a little hard to believe what they say about me, isn't it?" she asked with a smile. Her voice had that odd submissive quality, but it also sounded overwhelmingly kind. "My name is Kotonoha. What's yours?"
She returned the smile. "Kelly."
"That's a nice name."
"You're very pretty."
"So are you," Kotonoha said as she took Kelly's hand. "Do you know what I am?"
"I've heard the night nurses talk about you, call you an angel," the girl said. Kotonoha felt surprised by the honesty. "They mentioned something about blood."
"Yes, they're right about the blood," Kotonoha said. "I'm a Vampire, you see."
It felt rather surreal that the girl didn't seem at all affected by the statement. "Like Dracula?"
There's that question again. "Not quite."
"So when they say you take their blood so they can die, they mean it literally?"
A nervous laugh. "Yeah, they do."
"You come to the ones who don't want to go on living and you help them go away peacefully."
"So, is that what you called me for?"
"I'm going to die, aren't I?"
Kotonoha dropped the smile. The advent of mortality in one so young wounded her, mainly because she herself had been taken from the mortal coil as a child. "I can take the pain away, make sure you go comfortably..."
"I don't want to die," came the blunt reply.
Kotonoha looked into her eyes and saw determination. She looked into the girl's mind and saw a strong desire to live, to be free of her physical burden, and to experience the wonders of life that countless others take for granted.
"I'd do anything," the little girl said.
Kotonoha leaned close and brushed aside some of the young girl's hair. She placed a kiss on the girl's right cheek as she began to embrace Kelly. It was cold and warm at the same time, but it was comforting in an odd and...unnatural manner. A few gentle caresses and soft kisses, light one that barely touched the lips, followed before Kelly's eyes pleaded with Kotonoha once more. She lets Kelly go and lays her down on the bed, resting her head and back as comfortably as possible.
"Kaede would disapprove of this as she usually does," Kotonoha said before she let out a single, prolonged sigh. "You are certain of your wish, little one?"
"I want to live life."
With no reluctance, Kotonoha slits her wrist and offered it to Kelly. "Drink."
"Will this...?"
"It'll fix what's wrong with you. Slowly," the Vampire explained. "It won't be an instant change. It'll be gradual. It will take time."
"Thank you."
As Kelly pressed her lips and began to drink, Kotonoha could do nothing but look away.
She knew the consequences of saving a life with Vampire blood.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Yeah, I haven't done this in a while. This is, of course, just an experiment. There really wasn't much of a point to this when I first put it together in my head. I suppose it grew to have a point when I took it apart, but that's merely speculation. Anyway, I was bored, I had time on my hands, and I'm interested in working on a special horror project that just screams "personal horror sub-genre!," so this may or may not be a part of it.
I don't know.
In the room was a young woman. Terminally ill, as she had been for most of her life, she had every right to resent the world, to want society to pay for her pain, and to want to just die. However, every negative emotion and thought she had a right to harbor seemed alien to her. She was oddly perky and bright for someone in her position, despite her clear affection for black and the darker shades of red. The figure had heard the girl described as a "perky goth" by some of the other regular fixtures of the hospital. She was most often referred to by that nickname by the two nurses that tended to her, both of whom seemed particularly fond of the girl's cheerful and friendly demeanor. Yet, they were also aware of the underlying deception of that cheerful facade. In a childlike manner that only anyone can pick up on but only a child can understand, the little girl with the fatal heart ailment was afraid of death.
So her mind called out to the hospital's near-mythical "Angel of Mercy."
"Hello there," the figure called to the girl.
A smile. "You are real."
There was an interesting comparison between the two that both had managed to pick up on rather quickly. The patient was hardly a child, but she was no woman. She was just barely 16, still in the flower of life. She had a prettiness to her that carried her cheery smile well, making it twice as potent and, to most observers, twice as difficult to understand. She looked typical of girls of her age in most respects, save that her muscles had less definition, her skin was just a little paler. Oh, but the life in her eyes! There was that spark of life in them, the drive to experience the fullness of life that was missing from so many among the living, that set her apart the most.
The figure didn't look that much older. Her innocent, shy face looked just a little over 17 or 18, though her figure suggested she was a little closer to early 20s in age. She moved with the grace of a ballerina, but the poise betrayed a strength to her that was hidden deep beneath the calm, angelic exterior. She was also oddly pale, though she didn't seem like an albino. Her skin resembled that of someone who was anemic, lacking the blood to bring color to her flesh. In days gone by, that feature made her those moments when she blushed more adorable, which compounded with her natural shyness and unusual aura of cuteness. Her eyes, however, were the most striking, as they seemed to be an unnatural shade of blue.
"You know, for a while there I didn't think you were real," the girl said as the figure came closer.
"It is a little hard to believe what they say about me, isn't it?" she asked with a smile. Her voice had that odd submissive quality, but it also sounded overwhelmingly kind. "My name is Kotonoha. What's yours?"
She returned the smile. "Kelly."
"That's a nice name."
"You're very pretty."
"So are you," Kotonoha said as she took Kelly's hand. "Do you know what I am?"
"I've heard the night nurses talk about you, call you an angel," the girl said. Kotonoha felt surprised by the honesty. "They mentioned something about blood."
"Yes, they're right about the blood," Kotonoha said. "I'm a Vampire, you see."
It felt rather surreal that the girl didn't seem at all affected by the statement. "Like Dracula?"
There's that question again. "Not quite."
"So when they say you take their blood so they can die, they mean it literally?"
A nervous laugh. "Yeah, they do."
"You come to the ones who don't want to go on living and you help them go away peacefully."
"So, is that what you called me for?"
"I'm going to die, aren't I?"
Kotonoha dropped the smile. The advent of mortality in one so young wounded her, mainly because she herself had been taken from the mortal coil as a child. "I can take the pain away, make sure you go comfortably..."
"I don't want to die," came the blunt reply.
Kotonoha looked into her eyes and saw determination. She looked into the girl's mind and saw a strong desire to live, to be free of her physical burden, and to experience the wonders of life that countless others take for granted.
"I'd do anything," the little girl said.
Kotonoha leaned close and brushed aside some of the young girl's hair. She placed a kiss on the girl's right cheek as she began to embrace Kelly. It was cold and warm at the same time, but it was comforting in an odd and...unnatural manner. A few gentle caresses and soft kisses, light one that barely touched the lips, followed before Kelly's eyes pleaded with Kotonoha once more. She lets Kelly go and lays her down on the bed, resting her head and back as comfortably as possible.
"Kaede would disapprove of this as she usually does," Kotonoha said before she let out a single, prolonged sigh. "You are certain of your wish, little one?"
"I want to live life."
With no reluctance, Kotonoha slits her wrist and offered it to Kelly. "Drink."
"Will this...?"
"It'll fix what's wrong with you. Slowly," the Vampire explained. "It won't be an instant change. It'll be gradual. It will take time."
"Thank you."
As Kelly pressed her lips and began to drink, Kotonoha could do nothing but look away.
She knew the consequences of saving a life with Vampire blood.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Yeah, I haven't done this in a while. This is, of course, just an experiment. There really wasn't much of a point to this when I first put it together in my head. I suppose it grew to have a point when I took it apart, but that's merely speculation. Anyway, I was bored, I had time on my hands, and I'm interested in working on a special horror project that just screams "personal horror sub-genre!," so this may or may not be a part of it.
I don't know.
Friday, August 17, 2007
I Can't Believe I Forgot This!
I'm a fan of music from the old school. I'm talking Beethoven, Mozart, and Wagner. I'm also talking about more recent "old school" music. In particular, two singers have influenced me in ways that I can only begin to grasp. Frank Sinatra is one of them, with each of his songs resonating in my head and all of the lead characters in that story (in my own mind, if not explicitly mentioned in the narrative) adore "My Way." As for the other, it was Elvis Presley. And I can't believe I forgot that August 16th was the 30th Anniversary of The King's untimely demise.
I'm not good enough to write a proper tribute to The King, but here are a few things that I can only wish I said first:
Prominent Musicians Talk About Elvis
As for me, all I can say is this: "If I end up being called the 'Elvis of the literary world' at some point, I can die happy."
To end this, here's a video of "Jail House Rock," my favorite Elvis song.
I'm not good enough to write a proper tribute to The King, but here are a few things that I can only wish I said first:
Prominent Musicians Talk About Elvis
As for me, all I can say is this: "If I end up being called the 'Elvis of the literary world' at some point, I can die happy."
To end this, here's a video of "Jail House Rock," my favorite Elvis song.
Thursday, August 16, 2007
Seems Like I Missed Something Here
Before anything, watch this:
On a side note, sound is a must when watching this, as the inherent comedy of it is impossible to grasp without hearing the song.
I'm pretty sure I'm missing something here, though I'm not sure what.
My brother is playing Final Fantasy VIII, a game he loathes.
I'm thinking of grabbing a copy of Guild Wars, despite my bitter hatred for multiplayer gaming.
I've decided to do something I know I should not do and attempt to create a modern version of Le Fanu's Carmilla, with a healthy mix of Stoker's Dracula thrown into the mix.
Something here feels very, very wrong.
But I don't know what.
I'll have to get back to you on that. Too bored to think straight.
Oh, and my apologies to Barry Manilow for this gory little parody of "Copacabana":
Her name was Lola, she was a psycho
With red bloodstains in her hair and a knife from god-knows-where
She would turn crazy and kill some people
She killed a puppy with a jar, and an old man with a car
She liked to party in the gore, before she killed some more
She was cute and she was crazy,
Who could ask for more?
At the Loca, Loca Cabana
The bloodiest part of Manila
At the Loca, Loca Cabana
Murder and torture were always the fashion
At the Loca....she killed a cop
(Loca Loca Cabana)
Her name was Suzie, she had a shotgun
She killed a little bunny pair, she saw Lola choppin' there
And when she finished, she called her lover
But Suzie went a bit too far, fingers flew across the bar
And then the chainsaws flew and guys were chopped in two
There was blood and a single knife wound
But just who stabbed who?
At the Loca, Loca Cabana
The bloodiest part of Manila
At the Loca, Loca Cabana
Murder and torture were always the fashion
At the Loca....she killed a dog
Her name is Lola, she's still a psycho
She was cured years ago, now she kills people on the go
They try to fix her, but not for Lola
Still with the knife from god-knows-where, faded bloodstains in her hair
She sits there so refined, and kills who she can find
She lost her youth and she lost her Suzie
But she has her knife!
At the Loca, Loca Cabana
The bloodiest part of Manila
At the Loca, Loca Cabana
Murder and torture were always the fashion
At the Loca....don't bring a knife
On a side note, sound is a must when watching this, as the inherent comedy of it is impossible to grasp without hearing the song.
I'm pretty sure I'm missing something here, though I'm not sure what.
My brother is playing Final Fantasy VIII, a game he loathes.
I'm thinking of grabbing a copy of Guild Wars, despite my bitter hatred for multiplayer gaming.
I've decided to do something I know I should not do and attempt to create a modern version of Le Fanu's Carmilla, with a healthy mix of Stoker's Dracula thrown into the mix.
Something here feels very, very wrong.
But I don't know what.
I'll have to get back to you on that. Too bored to think straight.
Oh, and my apologies to Barry Manilow for this gory little parody of "Copacabana":
Her name was Lola, she was a psycho
With red bloodstains in her hair and a knife from god-knows-where
She would turn crazy and kill some people
She killed a puppy with a jar, and an old man with a car
She liked to party in the gore, before she killed some more
She was cute and she was crazy,
Who could ask for more?
At the Loca, Loca Cabana
The bloodiest part of Manila
At the Loca, Loca Cabana
Murder and torture were always the fashion
At the Loca....she killed a cop
(Loca Loca Cabana)
Her name was Suzie, she had a shotgun
She killed a little bunny pair, she saw Lola choppin' there
And when she finished, she called her lover
But Suzie went a bit too far, fingers flew across the bar
And then the chainsaws flew and guys were chopped in two
There was blood and a single knife wound
But just who stabbed who?
At the Loca, Loca Cabana
The bloodiest part of Manila
At the Loca, Loca Cabana
Murder and torture were always the fashion
At the Loca....she killed a dog
Her name is Lola, she's still a psycho
She was cured years ago, now she kills people on the go
They try to fix her, but not for Lola
Still with the knife from god-knows-where, faded bloodstains in her hair
She sits there so refined, and kills who she can find
She lost her youth and she lost her Suzie
But she has her knife!
At the Loca, Loca Cabana
The bloodiest part of Manila
At the Loca, Loca Cabana
Murder and torture were always the fashion
At the Loca....don't bring a knife
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
Pointless Rambling
Before we go on, I'd like to point out that I consider this little thing to be a small, but significant, tactical victory in one of the many battles I fight.
Anyway, let's move on.
I've recently come upon the decision to dual-boot my trust old laptop, Sakura, with WinXP (the day I change to that disaster area Microsoft dares call an operating system is the day I believe in religion) and Ubuntu. I highly doubt I'll ever get rid of XP for a number of reasons.
1. Linux software is near-impossible to come by in this country, and while I like OpenOffice more than MS Word, Documents to Go (software on my Palm) synchronizes better with Word. Besides that, I'm more comfortable with Photoshop's interface and style than GiMP's.
2. While it runs, Infinity Engine-based games like Planescape: Torment and Baldur's Gate II: Shadows of Amn don't run quite so well on WINE. In fact, most games I play don't run quite well on WINE.
3. Bluetooth support is, so far, limited for Ubuntu. That means I'll have to keep WinXP around, as my phone's data cable has proven rather unreliable.
Besides that, I'm still working on my fiction projects. No change there.
Also, I took a test. Here are the results.
And, finally, some useful links for the writer in all of us:
How to write with style By Kurt Vonnegut
How to Build a High-Traffic Web Site (or Blog) by Steve Pavlina
Top 10 Tips for Overcoming Writer's Block by Ginny Wiehardt
Anyway, let's move on.
I've recently come upon the decision to dual-boot my trust old laptop, Sakura, with WinXP (the day I change to that disaster area Microsoft dares call an operating system is the day I believe in religion) and Ubuntu. I highly doubt I'll ever get rid of XP for a number of reasons.
1. Linux software is near-impossible to come by in this country, and while I like OpenOffice more than MS Word, Documents to Go (software on my Palm) synchronizes better with Word. Besides that, I'm more comfortable with Photoshop's interface and style than GiMP's.
2. While it runs, Infinity Engine-based games like Planescape: Torment and Baldur's Gate II: Shadows of Amn don't run quite so well on WINE. In fact, most games I play don't run quite well on WINE.
3. Bluetooth support is, so far, limited for Ubuntu. That means I'll have to keep WinXP around, as my phone's data cable has proven rather unreliable.
Besides that, I'm still working on my fiction projects. No change there.
Also, I took a test. Here are the results.
| You scored as Nihilism, Your life is marked by strong Nihilism: You feel that nothing in the world, even your life, has much or any meaning. "For out of fear and need each religion is born, creeping into existence on the byways of reason." "There are no facts, only interpretations." “Every belief, every considering something-true, is necessarily false because there is simply no true world” --Friedrich Nietzsche More info at Arocoun's Wikipedia User Page...
What philosophy do you follow? (v1.03) created with QuizFarm.com |
And, finally, some useful links for the writer in all of us:
How to write with style By Kurt Vonnegut
How to Build a High-Traffic Web Site (or Blog) by Steve Pavlina
Top 10 Tips for Overcoming Writer's Block by Ginny Wiehardt
Friday, August 10, 2007
Ebb And Flow
"Time is like a river; it both ebbs and flows."
I don't recall where I got that, but anyway...
It, in many ways, is the truth. For example, in my shiny, shiny new office, I tend to have an excess of time on my hands. You see, with the quota effectively cut in half and my time to actually write increased because there's no over-sensitive and fundamentally flawed article checking software I have to contend with, I don't have much to do. Sure, I can slow down and take up the entirety of the working shift just to meet that particularly low quota, but that's not how I've been wired. Even before my overly demanding and unreasonable place of previous employment, I've always pushed my mind to produce as much worthy content as possible. 'Tis my nature.
I find ways to whittle away that extra time without looking lazy, like doing advanced research on the next day's articles, or hammering away on the details for a special project of mine. I rarely ever do any work on Darkness & Stars in the office, however. For some reason, while I can actually add to it there, nothing I add ever feels...worthy of the piece. On some days, I look up random pages of Wikipedia, or search for various Japanese models, idols, and AV actresses on YouTube. I particularly favor Maria Ozawa and Reon Kadena at the moment for videos, but Rena Tanaka will always be my favorite photo girl.
This, however, stands as a stark contrast to when I get home. The moment I get home, I can feel it. I no longer have the time to do anything more than eat and sleep. I barely have time to add more material to Darkness & Stars, which is sad, as the story is starting to really pick up. I'm not sure, but I feel as if I suddenly lose the time I had earlier. Whenever I try to press myself into finding the time to do the things I enjoy doing at home, I get this nagging feeling that time has suddenly experienced a burst artery and start bleeding away.
But this all probably moot by the time the weekend hits, anyway. By then, I have more time to work on the things I want to work on. Speaking of things I want to work on...
I'm carving out another fiction project, as well as lining up a few others. My main creative focus still lies on Darkness & Stars, but this other one is a bit of a nod to an older piece of mine, one that has managed to endure in my conscious mind for far longer than it should have. The story's been nagging me to be re-tooled and retold, so here I am, making the plans to do just that.
I need more sleep.
And to stop blogging so damn much.
Anyway, in keeping with my almost-established pattern, here's Sato Hiroko:
I don't recall where I got that, but anyway...
It, in many ways, is the truth. For example, in my shiny, shiny new office, I tend to have an excess of time on my hands. You see, with the quota effectively cut in half and my time to actually write increased because there's no over-sensitive and fundamentally flawed article checking software I have to contend with, I don't have much to do. Sure, I can slow down and take up the entirety of the working shift just to meet that particularly low quota, but that's not how I've been wired. Even before my overly demanding and unreasonable place of previous employment, I've always pushed my mind to produce as much worthy content as possible. 'Tis my nature.
I find ways to whittle away that extra time without looking lazy, like doing advanced research on the next day's articles, or hammering away on the details for a special project of mine. I rarely ever do any work on Darkness & Stars in the office, however. For some reason, while I can actually add to it there, nothing I add ever feels...worthy of the piece. On some days, I look up random pages of Wikipedia, or search for various Japanese models, idols, and AV actresses on YouTube. I particularly favor Maria Ozawa and Reon Kadena at the moment for videos, but Rena Tanaka will always be my favorite photo girl.
This, however, stands as a stark contrast to when I get home. The moment I get home, I can feel it. I no longer have the time to do anything more than eat and sleep. I barely have time to add more material to Darkness & Stars, which is sad, as the story is starting to really pick up. I'm not sure, but I feel as if I suddenly lose the time I had earlier. Whenever I try to press myself into finding the time to do the things I enjoy doing at home, I get this nagging feeling that time has suddenly experienced a burst artery and start bleeding away.
But this all probably moot by the time the weekend hits, anyway. By then, I have more time to work on the things I want to work on. Speaking of things I want to work on...
I'm carving out another fiction project, as well as lining up a few others. My main creative focus still lies on Darkness & Stars, but this other one is a bit of a nod to an older piece of mine, one that has managed to endure in my conscious mind for far longer than it should have. The story's been nagging me to be re-tooled and retold, so here I am, making the plans to do just that.
I need more sleep.
And to stop blogging so damn much.
Anyway, in keeping with my almost-established pattern, here's Sato Hiroko:
Thursday, August 09, 2007
Gripe #10: Down With The People!
Prompted by this post on Digital Buryong.
People who've talked politics with me will know I am completely and utterly against the democratic system. I think the system is flawed, cracked, and inapplicable to the Philippines. Mainly because this entire country acts as the prime example of just why the people should never, ever be given any sort of authority to rule.
You see, a single individual is a sensible, rational being. Their decisions make sense and, in some ways, they understand the vague concept of "the greater good." However, when you get two or more people together, you're asking for chaos. What you get when you huddle together the tired, poor, and uneducated masses is not a stable ruling body, but a mob. And a mob is when man descends to the nature of the beast. The mob is incapable of running something as delicate as a country, plain and simple.
Of course, if we're going to remove the current system of government, what do we replace it with? The most efficient and effective would be a centralized, totalitarian state. Take the power away from the people, but leave power to those few who understand what needs to be done with it.
Hell, while we're at it, bring down the thrice-damned justice system! Remove this whole "due process" and "innocent until proven guilty" crap. If they're accused and there is evidence to prove it, then go straight to the slow, painful, and public execution. Torture them to death and televise it, to make sure everyone knows what sorts of horrible things await those who violate the law. I'm not saying this should be implemented for major crimes. I'm saying this should be implemented for all crimes and misdemeanors.
Focus finances on tourism and agriculture production, as they are going to form the economic backbone of the country. The country lacks the technical know-how to compete with the manufacture of mechanics and electronics the way Japan, Germany, and the US can. So we compete with what the country is abundant in, which would be natural wonders and crop production. Improve the efficiency of the agricultural sector and maintain the beauty of our beaches and forests. While we're at it, forcibly move the excess people in the urban areas back to the countryside and have them work there. Have all food production be monitored by state authorities and make the jobless who have no suitable skills start working the farms. It'll be better than having them begging on the streets!
As for who should be running the show, I propose an intellectual oligarchy. Have the country be ruled by the ones best qualified to actually rule it, rather than those who can afford to have fancy campaign ads and have sexy young nymphets dance on stage before they give their speech. I'm not talking about elections, as those are fraught with deception, manipulation, and bribery. I'm talking picking out the most qualified in terms of education and experience (experience should be the priority here, not educational attainment) and put them where they can be of use. Have the country be run like a thrice-damned corporation, not a madhouse where the inmates have taken over.
Of course, this idea, while sensible, will never happen. The Philippine people will never accept any measure, let alone a revolution, that threatens to take away their "basic freedoms." The moment you even suggest anything remotely like what I've rambled about above, you'll have the press and the mobs screaming "Martial Law" and making sure that the pressure from the public will effectively cripple any improvements that could have happened. Any attempt to improve the status quo that can be slightly interpreted as limiting what a person can or cannot do without government interference is going to get killed by the myriad of groups that this country has that, while not having the place to do so, like to meddle in administrative affairs.
Honestly, I believe life would have been much simpler if we were under an absolutist monarch similar to Louis XIV. He may thought of himself as "the State" (though the quote is probably little more than a creative twisting of his actual words), but at least he knew how to run a country.
"Down with the people!"
Now, to lighten the mood, the cute-cute Saya Misaki:
People who've talked politics with me will know I am completely and utterly against the democratic system. I think the system is flawed, cracked, and inapplicable to the Philippines. Mainly because this entire country acts as the prime example of just why the people should never, ever be given any sort of authority to rule.
You see, a single individual is a sensible, rational being. Their decisions make sense and, in some ways, they understand the vague concept of "the greater good." However, when you get two or more people together, you're asking for chaos. What you get when you huddle together the tired, poor, and uneducated masses is not a stable ruling body, but a mob. And a mob is when man descends to the nature of the beast. The mob is incapable of running something as delicate as a country, plain and simple.
Of course, if we're going to remove the current system of government, what do we replace it with? The most efficient and effective would be a centralized, totalitarian state. Take the power away from the people, but leave power to those few who understand what needs to be done with it.
Hell, while we're at it, bring down the thrice-damned justice system! Remove this whole "due process" and "innocent until proven guilty" crap. If they're accused and there is evidence to prove it, then go straight to the slow, painful, and public execution. Torture them to death and televise it, to make sure everyone knows what sorts of horrible things await those who violate the law. I'm not saying this should be implemented for major crimes. I'm saying this should be implemented for all crimes and misdemeanors.
Focus finances on tourism and agriculture production, as they are going to form the economic backbone of the country. The country lacks the technical know-how to compete with the manufacture of mechanics and electronics the way Japan, Germany, and the US can. So we compete with what the country is abundant in, which would be natural wonders and crop production. Improve the efficiency of the agricultural sector and maintain the beauty of our beaches and forests. While we're at it, forcibly move the excess people in the urban areas back to the countryside and have them work there. Have all food production be monitored by state authorities and make the jobless who have no suitable skills start working the farms. It'll be better than having them begging on the streets!
As for who should be running the show, I propose an intellectual oligarchy. Have the country be ruled by the ones best qualified to actually rule it, rather than those who can afford to have fancy campaign ads and have sexy young nymphets dance on stage before they give their speech. I'm not talking about elections, as those are fraught with deception, manipulation, and bribery. I'm talking picking out the most qualified in terms of education and experience (experience should be the priority here, not educational attainment) and put them where they can be of use. Have the country be run like a thrice-damned corporation, not a madhouse where the inmates have taken over.
Of course, this idea, while sensible, will never happen. The Philippine people will never accept any measure, let alone a revolution, that threatens to take away their "basic freedoms." The moment you even suggest anything remotely like what I've rambled about above, you'll have the press and the mobs screaming "Martial Law" and making sure that the pressure from the public will effectively cripple any improvements that could have happened. Any attempt to improve the status quo that can be slightly interpreted as limiting what a person can or cannot do without government interference is going to get killed by the myriad of groups that this country has that, while not having the place to do so, like to meddle in administrative affairs.
Honestly, I believe life would have been much simpler if we were under an absolutist monarch similar to Louis XIV. He may thought of himself as "the State" (though the quote is probably little more than a creative twisting of his actual words), but at least he knew how to run a country.
"Down with the people!"
Now, to lighten the mood, the cute-cute Saya Misaki:
Wednesday, August 08, 2007
Wrath Of The Storm Lord
I don't know about the rest of the world, but for the Philippines, it is the season of Talos, the Storm Lord. Yes, most ordinary people will never understand the Forgotten Realms reference.
I'm unusual in that I don't like rain, but I love storms. I love the raging winds, the destruction, and the tempestuous chaos that a storm brings with it. I find difficulty dealing with a rainy season that doesn't have any sort of destruction and doom associated with it. It reminds me of the natural power of nature and just how insignificant people really are in the grand scheme of things.
Storms also remind me, oddly, of the Justine and Juliette, two novels written by the Marquis de Sade.
I'm actually rather fond of both of the leads of the novels, despite most fans preferring one sister over the other. I like Juliette for her willingness to use whatever means necessary to achieve what she wants, not to mention her rather "practical" outlook on a few things. On the other hand, I like Justine for her sheer willpower in adhering to her principles and beliefs, despite just how many times she's been exposed to things that should have proven her wrong.
If you're asking what any of this has to do with storms, I can't answer. I honestly don't know why I'm reminded of de Sade's work when there's a storm. Then again, de Sade isn't the only thing I'm reminded of when there's a storm, but that's for another day.
For now, cute girl time!
Maria Ozawa, I think.
I'm unusual in that I don't like rain, but I love storms. I love the raging winds, the destruction, and the tempestuous chaos that a storm brings with it. I find difficulty dealing with a rainy season that doesn't have any sort of destruction and doom associated with it. It reminds me of the natural power of nature and just how insignificant people really are in the grand scheme of things.
Storms also remind me, oddly, of the Justine and Juliette, two novels written by the Marquis de Sade.
I'm actually rather fond of both of the leads of the novels, despite most fans preferring one sister over the other. I like Juliette for her willingness to use whatever means necessary to achieve what she wants, not to mention her rather "practical" outlook on a few things. On the other hand, I like Justine for her sheer willpower in adhering to her principles and beliefs, despite just how many times she's been exposed to things that should have proven her wrong.
If you're asking what any of this has to do with storms, I can't answer. I honestly don't know why I'm reminded of de Sade's work when there's a storm. Then again, de Sade isn't the only thing I'm reminded of when there's a storm, but that's for another day.
For now, cute girl time!
Maria Ozawa, I think.
Tuesday, August 07, 2007
Audition
I like ultraviolence. I think blood, gore, and that sort of thing can be expressed artistically. I call it aesthetic brutality. The term may or may not be original. Now, if we're talking about this sort of stuff, Japan has the market practically cornered. However, most people will likely just cite Battle Royale as an example. Granted, Battle Royale is a magnificent film and one worthy of all the praise it has gotten. However, there are two films that, for me, are better examples of the principles and concepts that embody my idea of aesthetic brutality.
The first, In The Realm Of The Senses, is a rarity to find. If you can find a copy for it, original or otherwise, consider yourself a lucky, lucky person.
The second, however, is more recent, and has a trailer on YouTube. This one is called Audition.
I can only one day hope that my fiction can achieve the same levels of beauty and madness that the three films I mentioned above did. My hopes are particularly high for the re-make of Yuki's Diary, which I've decided to do. More on that later, folks.
The first, In The Realm Of The Senses, is a rarity to find. If you can find a copy for it, original or otherwise, consider yourself a lucky, lucky person.
The second, however, is more recent, and has a trailer on YouTube. This one is called Audition.
I can only one day hope that my fiction can achieve the same levels of beauty and madness that the three films I mentioned above did. My hopes are particularly high for the re-make of Yuki's Diary, which I've decided to do. More on that later, folks.
Monday, August 06, 2007
Your Move, Mate.
So, now that I've been working in my new office for roughly two weeks, what else have I seen?
Well, most of my initial impressions remain. The place still looks and feels better managed than, say, Intellicrap. The quota is significantly lower and the environment is rather friendly. However, I have noticed a hiccup or two in the structure. There appears to be a general lack of structure and direction, particularly outside the front lines. Basically, the main problem I've seen is that the web content department is relatively new and, so far, nobody seems to really have an idea how to handle the writers and their work. There's an idea of what they're there for, but the lack of experience in managing an entire department devoted solely to web content is apparent. I've dropped a few hints here and there on what worked for my previous job, but I'll have to wait and see for how things are going to work out. At one point or another, someone is going to have to arrive to get a proper, working hierarchy installed.
One more thing I've noticed is how annoying the call center agents can get. Since we're sharing PCs with call center agents, your private files aren't really private. Now, I can get by with downloading stuff, sending them to myself through e-mail, and then deleting the copies on the computer itself. However, the fact that I have to constantly reset my wallpaper each and every time I turn on my PC gets annoying. Plus, the agents seem to have no concept of shutting down a PC. Nor do they appear to have any sort of sense of cleanliness, as they tend to leave all sorts of junk scattered around the desk. Not to mention how haphazardly they leave their very expensive headsets.
I'm kind of disappointed that the USB ports on some of the PCs don't work. In particular, I'm disappointed that mine don't work. That'd certainly spare me a lot of trouble in getting files to and from the office. Not that those files are going to be work-related, but the convenience of not having to open my PC to download things I could have just plugged into a portable HD is something I miss.
However, for all the little things I don't like, I do think I'll enjoy working here. Better pay than Intelligraph Corporation, easier workload, and the environment actually feels rather similar to what my old job used to be. Considering the tyrannical nature of the management at my former place of employment...
Anyway, moving on then.
I've managed to get past Chapter 21 of Darkness & Stars at last. I've started work on Chapter 22, but I don't feel like updating the Tuxedo Jack Forums thread on it, or adding the new chapter as a download somewhere else. Maybe when I manage to work all the way to Chapter 25. I've already got another project in line that I intend to start as soon as I'm done with Chapter 22. I don't expect to write for it often, but it does represent a little experiment for me.
I think that the time has come for someone to put a darker spin to the mahou shoujo sub-genre...
Well, most of my initial impressions remain. The place still looks and feels better managed than, say, Intellicrap. The quota is significantly lower and the environment is rather friendly. However, I have noticed a hiccup or two in the structure. There appears to be a general lack of structure and direction, particularly outside the front lines. Basically, the main problem I've seen is that the web content department is relatively new and, so far, nobody seems to really have an idea how to handle the writers and their work. There's an idea of what they're there for, but the lack of experience in managing an entire department devoted solely to web content is apparent. I've dropped a few hints here and there on what worked for my previous job, but I'll have to wait and see for how things are going to work out. At one point or another, someone is going to have to arrive to get a proper, working hierarchy installed.
One more thing I've noticed is how annoying the call center agents can get. Since we're sharing PCs with call center agents, your private files aren't really private. Now, I can get by with downloading stuff, sending them to myself through e-mail, and then deleting the copies on the computer itself. However, the fact that I have to constantly reset my wallpaper each and every time I turn on my PC gets annoying. Plus, the agents seem to have no concept of shutting down a PC. Nor do they appear to have any sort of sense of cleanliness, as they tend to leave all sorts of junk scattered around the desk. Not to mention how haphazardly they leave their very expensive headsets.
I'm kind of disappointed that the USB ports on some of the PCs don't work. In particular, I'm disappointed that mine don't work. That'd certainly spare me a lot of trouble in getting files to and from the office. Not that those files are going to be work-related, but the convenience of not having to open my PC to download things I could have just plugged into a portable HD is something I miss.
However, for all the little things I don't like, I do think I'll enjoy working here. Better pay than Intelligraph Corporation, easier workload, and the environment actually feels rather similar to what my old job used to be. Considering the tyrannical nature of the management at my former place of employment...
Anyway, moving on then.
I've managed to get past Chapter 21 of Darkness & Stars at last. I've started work on Chapter 22, but I don't feel like updating the Tuxedo Jack Forums thread on it, or adding the new chapter as a download somewhere else. Maybe when I manage to work all the way to Chapter 25. I've already got another project in line that I intend to start as soon as I'm done with Chapter 22. I don't expect to write for it often, but it does represent a little experiment for me.
I think that the time has come for someone to put a darker spin to the mahou shoujo sub-genre...
Friday, August 03, 2007
Writer's Block
I haven't had a case of writer's block recently. Although the last case I had lasted from mid-2006 to mid-2007, almost a year's worth of being unable to write anything of any satisfactory quality. Every writer, no matter how talented, has to deal with this at one point or another. It is just the way the writing world works. However, I doubt that you can find two writers that will agree on how to break a block, or what causes the block in the first place. With that in mind, I'll admit that what I've found out about my writer's block, as well as my cures for it, may not work for everyone. Hell, it may not even work for anyone out there but me. Still, the slight possibility that it might is probably enough reason for me to tell people about it. If nothing else, the writing community should help each other through this common creative malady.
For me, saying that you can't write because of life is just an excuse, not writer's block. Your imagination doesn't stop just because you're busy with homework or the job. Your mind is constantly working and creating and crafting, so lack of time isn't writer's block. Lack of time merely prohibits you from putting your ideas down to the written word. By my definition, that isn't writer's block, as I define writer's block as the complete inability to make any satisfactory creative output on the written word. Even if you don't have the time, you might still have a good idea.
In my case, writer's block comes after completing a personal project. The longer the project and the higher the quality of it, the longer I go without being able to produce worthwhile fiction afterwards. I think the drain I place on my mind causes the block, such that something in my head needs to take the time to recuperate and not produce any ideas.
So far, the only way I've found around this is to start a new project as I'm finishing up an old project. Outlines, no matter how detailed, have never really worked for me. Outlines tend to make me feel restricted and, while I appreciate having some sort of backbone to work with when I write and forget where I am, I'd rather be given enough freedom to work out the ideas as they come to me.
Of course, there is a danger to this approach. You might burn yourself out creatively at critical points by writing two projects at the same time. In my case, this happened near the end of the second project. By then, I was digging the bottom of the barrel and was desperate to finish the story. The fact is, doing two projects at the same time helps delay writer's block, not prevent it entirely. At one point, you're going to burn your mind out and, worst-case scenario, you're stuck in the middle of a story that you feel you need to actually finish.
Another cause of writer's block for me comes when I distract myself. This is generally an event that occurs when I get my hands on a good, long book. I honestly can't write anything worth dirt when I'm reading a book. The most recent culprit of this is Douglas Adams' The Ultimate Hitchhiker's Guide, which is a compilation of all the books in the Hitchhiker's "trilogy." I guess this has something to do with my mind too busy processing and digesting the contents of the book to really be able to come up with original content.
The solution to this is not to stop reading. Thankfully for me, this sort of writer's block doesn't last long. At least, as long as I don't read books consecutively. If I do, that causes some problems. This one involves more of waiting the storm out than anything else, really.
As of now, I don't have much along the lines of writer's block. Sure, I don't have as much time as I did before, but my mind is more active than ever. I feel confident that I can finish Darkness & Stars without too much trouble aside from the sheer amount of time needed.
We'll see.
For me, saying that you can't write because of life is just an excuse, not writer's block. Your imagination doesn't stop just because you're busy with homework or the job. Your mind is constantly working and creating and crafting, so lack of time isn't writer's block. Lack of time merely prohibits you from putting your ideas down to the written word. By my definition, that isn't writer's block, as I define writer's block as the complete inability to make any satisfactory creative output on the written word. Even if you don't have the time, you might still have a good idea.
In my case, writer's block comes after completing a personal project. The longer the project and the higher the quality of it, the longer I go without being able to produce worthwhile fiction afterwards. I think the drain I place on my mind causes the block, such that something in my head needs to take the time to recuperate and not produce any ideas.
So far, the only way I've found around this is to start a new project as I'm finishing up an old project. Outlines, no matter how detailed, have never really worked for me. Outlines tend to make me feel restricted and, while I appreciate having some sort of backbone to work with when I write and forget where I am, I'd rather be given enough freedom to work out the ideas as they come to me.
Of course, there is a danger to this approach. You might burn yourself out creatively at critical points by writing two projects at the same time. In my case, this happened near the end of the second project. By then, I was digging the bottom of the barrel and was desperate to finish the story. The fact is, doing two projects at the same time helps delay writer's block, not prevent it entirely. At one point, you're going to burn your mind out and, worst-case scenario, you're stuck in the middle of a story that you feel you need to actually finish.
Another cause of writer's block for me comes when I distract myself. This is generally an event that occurs when I get my hands on a good, long book. I honestly can't write anything worth dirt when I'm reading a book. The most recent culprit of this is Douglas Adams' The Ultimate Hitchhiker's Guide, which is a compilation of all the books in the Hitchhiker's "trilogy." I guess this has something to do with my mind too busy processing and digesting the contents of the book to really be able to come up with original content.
The solution to this is not to stop reading. Thankfully for me, this sort of writer's block doesn't last long. At least, as long as I don't read books consecutively. If I do, that causes some problems. This one involves more of waiting the storm out than anything else, really.
As of now, I don't have much along the lines of writer's block. Sure, I don't have as much time as I did before, but my mind is more active than ever. I feel confident that I can finish Darkness & Stars without too much trouble aside from the sheer amount of time needed.
We'll see.
Thursday, August 02, 2007
Darkness & Stars - the story so far
I'm in a relatively good mood. So here I am, making use of my time in posting the drafts of the first 20 chapters of Darkness & Stars. They're in ZIP format, so you'll have to unzip first. Also, they're just in the draft stages. Once the story is done, I'll put up the master document, which is the one that's getting all the editing and polish as the story goes along, when the whole thing is done.
That'll take a long, long while.
The Download Link
Enjoy.
So, what's this all about?
Well, this is your pretty standard "boy meets girl" story, except the characters have personalities that are about as odd as can possibly be made.
The main narrator, who has a real name that is never revealed, is probably the least likely ladies' man in the world. He's nihilistic, lazy, seems to have a variety of personality disorders, and is just this side of being locked up in an institution. To top it all off, there's a very good chance that none of the things he's narrating are real, though there's an equally good chance that he's perfectly sane and the whole story actually did happen.
The main female character, Cecilia, is a cold, calculating shrew. She's a conniving witch in the vein of Lady Macbeth, though she's far less...malignant in how she manifests her desires. Yet, she has a sweet, tender side that the main character brings out of her. She's highly aristocratic in her behavior, with a clear psychological need to dominate the people around her. 'Dominate' in the non-sexual sense, mind you.
The other main female, Mint, is your standard hyper-active girl with boundless energy and a lot of spunk. However, she's probably just as crazy as her sister is, though she clearly has a very different set of issues. She's interested to the point of morbid obsession with the guy, even though he's her sister's boyfriend. She's nearly brutally honest about her feelings, not to mention having what appears to be a knack for predicting how other people will feel about her.
Factor in that this story virtually has no other male dramatis personae, the shady nature of the girls' family's business, the complications of the guy's two friends (both female) and past relationships, and the inevitable chaos of two sisters fighting over the same guy. For some reason, I couldn't help but let slips of philosophy and political theory worm their way into the narrative, with some of the conversations echoing my own internal arguments exactly.
This story, Darkness & Stars, is not for everyone. Indeed, there are elements of this story that are bound to offend someone out there. Hell, I'd be offended if it didn't offend anyone! Still, this story is the one I'd finish even if it killed me. So here it is, not quite ready to be torn apart by the people of the Net, but there anyway.
That'll take a long, long while.
The Download Link
Enjoy.
So, what's this all about?
Well, this is your pretty standard "boy meets girl" story, except the characters have personalities that are about as odd as can possibly be made.
The main narrator, who has a real name that is never revealed, is probably the least likely ladies' man in the world. He's nihilistic, lazy, seems to have a variety of personality disorders, and is just this side of being locked up in an institution. To top it all off, there's a very good chance that none of the things he's narrating are real, though there's an equally good chance that he's perfectly sane and the whole story actually did happen.
The main female character, Cecilia, is a cold, calculating shrew. She's a conniving witch in the vein of Lady Macbeth, though she's far less...malignant in how she manifests her desires. Yet, she has a sweet, tender side that the main character brings out of her. She's highly aristocratic in her behavior, with a clear psychological need to dominate the people around her. 'Dominate' in the non-sexual sense, mind you.
The other main female, Mint, is your standard hyper-active girl with boundless energy and a lot of spunk. However, she's probably just as crazy as her sister is, though she clearly has a very different set of issues. She's interested to the point of morbid obsession with the guy, even though he's her sister's boyfriend. She's nearly brutally honest about her feelings, not to mention having what appears to be a knack for predicting how other people will feel about her.
Factor in that this story virtually has no other male dramatis personae, the shady nature of the girls' family's business, the complications of the guy's two friends (both female) and past relationships, and the inevitable chaos of two sisters fighting over the same guy. For some reason, I couldn't help but let slips of philosophy and political theory worm their way into the narrative, with some of the conversations echoing my own internal arguments exactly.
This story, Darkness & Stars, is not for everyone. Indeed, there are elements of this story that are bound to offend someone out there. Hell, I'd be offended if it didn't offend anyone! Still, this story is the one I'd finish even if it killed me. So here it is, not quite ready to be torn apart by the people of the Net, but there anyway.
Wednesday, August 01, 2007
I Really Like This Show...
Waiting for episode 4 of School Days to get subbed was like Hell, really. However,the wait was worth it. I have to admit that I had my doubts about just how much I was going to enjoy this show, particularly since it seemed to have a more comedy-themed style than the original game. Still, I've found the show to be likable so far, particularly because the characters don't seem to have deviated that far from their original incarnations.
For some reason, I have a feeling that this is going to be more like Summer Days than School Days, which means no violent endings and Makoto's not a complete and total jerk, but let's hope I'm proven wrong. I have a good feeling I will be, considering just how much of a tool and an idiot he's been so far.
Initially, I actually disliked Sekai. But now that I've had a chance to go through her route and watch the show, I have to admit that I sympathize with her a lot more. Granted, I think she still made a mistake of moving in on Makoto while he was with Kotonoha, but I blame him more for letting her get that close. Quite frankly, I've had enough time to find all of the girls in the game to be sympathetic and likable, even the ones that bullied Kotonoha. However, I honestly can't bring myself to even tolerate Makoto.
I swear, the show should end with the bridge scene, but modified so that Kotonoha cuts Makoto's neck.
That'd be much better.
So far, let's recap.
Sekia helps Makoto get closer to Kotonoha.
Setsuna suspects something is going on between Sekai and Makoto.
Nobody seems to know about Kotonoha and Makoto.
Kotonoha is really having trouble adjusting to Makoto's idiocy.
Makoto is moving way too fast.
Sekai's just this close to outright seducing Makoto, whether she knows it or not.
Why do I have a feeling this is going to end badly? Or maybe that's just my inner Marquis de Sade talking, I don't know. I do know I like Kotonoha, Kokoro, and Sekai, though. Kotonoha's still my favorite character, though Sekai's a close second. Kokoto's just adorable, even if she is jailbait.
Not much else to say right now, so I'll end this with a picture.
For some reason, I have a feeling that this is going to be more like Summer Days than School Days, which means no violent endings and Makoto's not a complete and total jerk, but let's hope I'm proven wrong. I have a good feeling I will be, considering just how much of a tool and an idiot he's been so far.
Initially, I actually disliked Sekai. But now that I've had a chance to go through her route and watch the show, I have to admit that I sympathize with her a lot more. Granted, I think she still made a mistake of moving in on Makoto while he was with Kotonoha, but I blame him more for letting her get that close. Quite frankly, I've had enough time to find all of the girls in the game to be sympathetic and likable, even the ones that bullied Kotonoha. However, I honestly can't bring myself to even tolerate Makoto.
I swear, the show should end with the bridge scene, but modified so that Kotonoha cuts Makoto's neck.
That'd be much better.
So far, let's recap.
Sekia helps Makoto get closer to Kotonoha.
Setsuna suspects something is going on between Sekai and Makoto.
Nobody seems to know about Kotonoha and Makoto.
Kotonoha is really having trouble adjusting to Makoto's idiocy.
Makoto is moving way too fast.
Sekai's just this close to outright seducing Makoto, whether she knows it or not.
Why do I have a feeling this is going to end badly? Or maybe that's just my inner Marquis de Sade talking, I don't know. I do know I like Kotonoha, Kokoro, and Sekai, though. Kotonoha's still my favorite character, though Sekai's a close second. Kokoto's just adorable, even if she is jailbait.
Not much else to say right now, so I'll end this with a picture.
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