And though I had slain a thousand foes less one,
The thousandth knife found my liver;
The thousandth enemy said to me,
'Now you shall die,
Now none shall know.'
And the fool, looking down, believed this,
Not seeing, above his shoulders, the naked stars,
Each one remembering.
--John M. Ford, The Final Reflection

The Asylum Director

My photo
"The only thing I was fit for was to be a writer, and this rested solely on my suspicion that I would never be fit for real work, and that writing didn't require any." - Russel Baker

Friday, August 10, 2007

Ebb And Flow

"Time is like a river; it both ebbs and flows."

I don't recall where I got that, but anyway...

It, in many ways, is the truth. For example, in my shiny, shiny new office, I tend to have an excess of time on my hands. You see, with the quota effectively cut in half and my time to actually write increased because there's no over-sensitive and fundamentally flawed article checking software I have to contend with, I don't have much to do. Sure, I can slow down and take up the entirety of the working shift just to meet that particularly low quota, but that's not how I've been wired. Even before my overly demanding and unreasonable place of previous employment, I've always pushed my mind to produce as much worthy content as possible. 'Tis my nature.

I find ways to whittle away that extra time without looking lazy, like doing advanced research on the next day's articles, or hammering away on the details for a special project of mine. I rarely ever do any work on Darkness & Stars in the office, however. For some reason, while I can actually add to it there, nothing I add ever feels...worthy of the piece. On some days, I look up random pages of Wikipedia, or search for various Japanese models, idols, and AV actresses on YouTube. I particularly favor Maria Ozawa and Reon Kadena at the moment for videos, but Rena Tanaka will always be my favorite photo girl.

This, however, stands as a stark contrast to when I get home. The moment I get home, I can feel it. I no longer have the time to do anything more than eat and sleep. I barely have time to add more material to Darkness & Stars, which is sad, as the story is starting to really pick up. I'm not sure, but I feel as if I suddenly lose the time I had earlier. Whenever I try to press myself into finding the time to do the things I enjoy doing at home, I get this nagging feeling that time has suddenly experienced a burst artery and start bleeding away.

But this all probably moot by the time the weekend hits, anyway. By then, I have more time to work on the things I want to work on. Speaking of things I want to work on...

I'm carving out another fiction project, as well as lining up a few others. My main creative focus still lies on Darkness & Stars, but this other one is a bit of a nod to an older piece of mine, one that has managed to endure in my conscious mind for far longer than it should have. The story's been nagging me to be re-tooled and retold, so here I am, making the plans to do just that.

I need more sleep.

And to stop blogging so damn much.

Anyway, in keeping with my almost-established pattern, here's Sato Hiroko:

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

i found your site while googling intelligraph corp.:) im scheduled for an exam tomorrow (for the position of web writer)... parang ayoko na yatang magaksaya ng panahon pumunta bukas. :)mas pipiliin ko pa yung present company ko kasi sa previous employer mo.:)

snizz said...

Maria Ozawa is on top yeah you got that right. Here is a site of hers nsfw by the way but really good :) Maria Ozawa