School Days is finally done. And the ending is satisfactory for me, to say the least.
Episode 12, Part 1
Episode 12, Part 2
Episode 12, Part 3
The Asylum Director
- VIIIofSwords
- "The only thing I was fit for was to be a writer, and this rested solely on my suspicion that I would never be fit for real work, and that writing didn't require any." - Russel Baker
Friday, September 28, 2007
Thursday, September 27, 2007
Gripe # 11: People That Need To Die
Death to...optimists!
I don't understand optimists. I fail to see how they can possibly interpret the world as anything but the decaying husk that it is, even as it desperately attempts to put on the mask of "everything's going fine." How can they possibly view the corruption, the prevalent disregard for the so-called "higher ideals" of civilization, the utter insanity of the paradox known as modern life, and still believe there is a silver lining?
I believe there is hope in the world, don't get me wrong. I just think optimists are going about it completely wrong. There is hope, but optimists tend to see more hope than there actually is. Humanity is on a downward spiral into complete and utter self-destruction. We're raping the environment. We're stabbing each other in the back. We're abandoning the great lies that civilization is built upon, such as "justice" and "mercy."
My problem with optimists is that they tend to insist on relying on the good that simply isn't there anymore. There is still good in the world, but your typical optimist does nothing to bring it out. Optimists the world over are doing nothing but attempting to make people see the bright side, which tends to work. However, seeing the bright side of things is not as easy as it sounds. Optimists and their ilk tend to see the bright side and stare at it, yet do nothing to grab it and expand it.
Mind you, I don't like pessimists either, but as often been said...pessimists tend to take care of themselves.
Death to...incompetent superiors!
According to modern psychology and personality analysis, I tend to sit back and not take a leadership role unless the leader in place is incompetent. However, according to modern psychology and personality analysis, I also prefer to just work in the background and not be the one actually at the helm of the ship. Princes get shot. Advisers tend to have enough time to escape. Despite that tendency, I absolutely despise incompetent superiors.
I can't stand them, particularly if they choose (I refuse to believe that anyone who gets into a position of authority can be so blatantly idiotic as to be unaware of her own incompetence) to ignore her own inability to perform even the simplest tasks of her position. They decide to be completely and utterly oblivious to all of their weaknesses and flaws, while at the same time deciding to lord their status over their underlings. As if their having rank by some quirk of seniority or fate actually makes them qualified to have that rank. Idiots.
The worst part is having to actually deal with them and their incompetence on a regular basis. They fail to understand why people dislike them. They cannot understand why people don't trust them. They are incapable of fathoming people's reasons for the lack of faith that their underlings show in their non-existent managerial capabilities. From the Panda that ran my last job and is running that company into the ground, to a certain individual in my current place of work whose name I will not mention, I want them all dead. Dead, you here me? DEAD!
Death to...vegetarians!
Vegetarians are scum. They all deserve to be beaten to death in a public place, but not before being made to renounce their idiocy and tyranny by being made to eat meat. Vegetarians are even worse than religious zealots, in that religious zealots are not likely to throw a perfectly good steak (that you happen to be eating) on the ground just because it goes against their beliefs. Vegetarians, and their terrorist cousins the vegans, deserve to be wiped out in as cruel and painful a manner as possible.
I dislike the way they shove their beliefs down as many people's throats as they can, to the point of attempting to force people into vegetarianism in government-controlled areas. I dislike the very idea of vegetarianism! People got along just fine for ages without eating nothing more than "rabbit food," so why should we stop now? And what about the livestock we keep? The havoc that uncontrolled livestock can wreak on the environment would be disastrous!
Another problem is that they constantly whine about the "needless" bashing of their subhuman ilk. They whine and complain that they don't deserve that sort of treatment and that they're just trying to make things better for everyone. Guess what? You're wrong! Vegetarians scum and vegan subhumans deserve every last bit of bashing they get from the people around them! It's people like them that should be beaten, tied up, tortured, and sent to fight wars unarmed and unprepared. That way they'd be able to at least make some minor contribution to human development.
Remember kids: vegetarians and vegans are the scum of the earth and should be mocked, beaten, and killed more than any other group or minority.
Yare yare, I've been reading Maddox way too much. But seriously, optimists, incompetents, and vegetarians all need to DIE.
I don't understand optimists. I fail to see how they can possibly interpret the world as anything but the decaying husk that it is, even as it desperately attempts to put on the mask of "everything's going fine." How can they possibly view the corruption, the prevalent disregard for the so-called "higher ideals" of civilization, the utter insanity of the paradox known as modern life, and still believe there is a silver lining?
I believe there is hope in the world, don't get me wrong. I just think optimists are going about it completely wrong. There is hope, but optimists tend to see more hope than there actually is. Humanity is on a downward spiral into complete and utter self-destruction. We're raping the environment. We're stabbing each other in the back. We're abandoning the great lies that civilization is built upon, such as "justice" and "mercy."
My problem with optimists is that they tend to insist on relying on the good that simply isn't there anymore. There is still good in the world, but your typical optimist does nothing to bring it out. Optimists the world over are doing nothing but attempting to make people see the bright side, which tends to work. However, seeing the bright side of things is not as easy as it sounds. Optimists and their ilk tend to see the bright side and stare at it, yet do nothing to grab it and expand it.
Mind you, I don't like pessimists either, but as often been said...pessimists tend to take care of themselves.
Death to...incompetent superiors!
According to modern psychology and personality analysis, I tend to sit back and not take a leadership role unless the leader in place is incompetent. However, according to modern psychology and personality analysis, I also prefer to just work in the background and not be the one actually at the helm of the ship. Princes get shot. Advisers tend to have enough time to escape. Despite that tendency, I absolutely despise incompetent superiors.
I can't stand them, particularly if they choose (I refuse to believe that anyone who gets into a position of authority can be so blatantly idiotic as to be unaware of her own incompetence) to ignore her own inability to perform even the simplest tasks of her position. They decide to be completely and utterly oblivious to all of their weaknesses and flaws, while at the same time deciding to lord their status over their underlings. As if their having rank by some quirk of seniority or fate actually makes them qualified to have that rank. Idiots.
The worst part is having to actually deal with them and their incompetence on a regular basis. They fail to understand why people dislike them. They cannot understand why people don't trust them. They are incapable of fathoming people's reasons for the lack of faith that their underlings show in their non-existent managerial capabilities. From the Panda that ran my last job and is running that company into the ground, to a certain individual in my current place of work whose name I will not mention, I want them all dead. Dead, you here me? DEAD!
Death to...vegetarians!
Vegetarians are scum. They all deserve to be beaten to death in a public place, but not before being made to renounce their idiocy and tyranny by being made to eat meat. Vegetarians are even worse than religious zealots, in that religious zealots are not likely to throw a perfectly good steak (that you happen to be eating) on the ground just because it goes against their beliefs. Vegetarians, and their terrorist cousins the vegans, deserve to be wiped out in as cruel and painful a manner as possible.
I dislike the way they shove their beliefs down as many people's throats as they can, to the point of attempting to force people into vegetarianism in government-controlled areas. I dislike the very idea of vegetarianism! People got along just fine for ages without eating nothing more than "rabbit food," so why should we stop now? And what about the livestock we keep? The havoc that uncontrolled livestock can wreak on the environment would be disastrous!
Another problem is that they constantly whine about the "needless" bashing of their subhuman ilk. They whine and complain that they don't deserve that sort of treatment and that they're just trying to make things better for everyone. Guess what? You're wrong! Vegetarians scum and vegan subhumans deserve every last bit of bashing they get from the people around them! It's people like them that should be beaten, tied up, tortured, and sent to fight wars unarmed and unprepared. That way they'd be able to at least make some minor contribution to human development.
Remember kids: vegetarians and vegans are the scum of the earth and should be mocked, beaten, and killed more than any other group or minority.
Yare yare, I've been reading Maddox way too much. But seriously, optimists, incompetents, and vegetarians all need to DIE.
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
Old Friends, New Ideas
Sometimes, talking to an old friend is all a mind needs to get a spark going.
I wrote about how I'd rather forget my high school experience once. That still holds true. There's just so much of high school (And grade school, and college) that I'd much rather forget. However, as I said back then, there are some people from those years that I really wouldn't mind getting to know all over again, or at least becoming reacquainted with. I recently had a nice IM chat with one such figure from the old days, which was something that I thoroughly enjoyed.
Apart from the standard ritual of making attempts to summarize the past seven years of our lives into a few messages, we tossed around some ideas. I can't say I was displeased when I learned that someone else from my batch ended up discovering a kick for writing, even if there's a distinct possibility that she's always known she had a knack for the art. The fact that what she's writing isn't exactly something I'd bother to write myself is negligible. The fact that I actually managed to contact her after all this time (especially since she didn't have my contact info when she left), however, does matter to me.
Talking to her has made me realize two things. First, that I really ought to find a way to get back in touch with some of my friends from high school. A very small number of them, actually. As I said before, I didn't like HS all that much, and I don't particularly care for most of them even up to now. There are only a few I'd willingly spend time with again. The second thing? That I still have ideas in my head that need to be written out, and that talking to other writers can help me toss around a few ideas that I once deemed too rough for me to work on.
As I write this, I have also come to realize that I am really over-extending my creative faculties. I have my work quota to fulfill, plus this blog, and my new blog. Yet, I can't bring myself to consider it forgivable if I'm not writing at the top of my game. Weird, that. Considering how lazy and haphazard I am when I write, this strikes me as a stark contradiction to my own nature as a writer.
Man, do I have a lot on my plate. I suppose I might have to thank someone for my being able to prioritize my writing projects. As it stands, aside from work, here is the "ranking" for my current fiction projects:
Top Tier: Darkness & Stars
Middle Tier: Lie To Me, Lady In Black
Bottom Tier: assorted vignettes, Sisters Of The Storm
More on what these projects actually are later on.
Also, after much time contemplating things thanks to a particular post made by my friend, the cough syrup junkie, I have come to understand something. I cannot define my life without first defining myself.
About a week after that hit me, I realized I have no idea how to define myself. So that got me into even deeper thinking about life, the universe, and everything else. After more deliberation, I finally decided that I probably would remain at my current state, stagnant and decaying, unless I found a way to give myself a direction. Religion is obviously not an option, as religion would turn me into a drone rather than give me the answers I seek. To that end, I've come to realize that, to define myself, I need to answer four philosophical questions.
They are as follows:
Who are you?
What do you want?
Why are you here?
Where are you going?
Sadly, I don't have the answers. Not yet.
Oh, and the very definition of stupidity:
This one is much better.
Either version is actually ridiculously funny. If only because of the sheer stupidity of both the person who made the video and Britney Spears herself.
I wrote about how I'd rather forget my high school experience once. That still holds true. There's just so much of high school (And grade school, and college) that I'd much rather forget. However, as I said back then, there are some people from those years that I really wouldn't mind getting to know all over again, or at least becoming reacquainted with. I recently had a nice IM chat with one such figure from the old days, which was something that I thoroughly enjoyed.
Apart from the standard ritual of making attempts to summarize the past seven years of our lives into a few messages, we tossed around some ideas. I can't say I was displeased when I learned that someone else from my batch ended up discovering a kick for writing, even if there's a distinct possibility that she's always known she had a knack for the art. The fact that what she's writing isn't exactly something I'd bother to write myself is negligible. The fact that I actually managed to contact her after all this time (especially since she didn't have my contact info when she left), however, does matter to me.
Talking to her has made me realize two things. First, that I really ought to find a way to get back in touch with some of my friends from high school. A very small number of them, actually. As I said before, I didn't like HS all that much, and I don't particularly care for most of them even up to now. There are only a few I'd willingly spend time with again. The second thing? That I still have ideas in my head that need to be written out, and that talking to other writers can help me toss around a few ideas that I once deemed too rough for me to work on.
As I write this, I have also come to realize that I am really over-extending my creative faculties. I have my work quota to fulfill, plus this blog, and my new blog. Yet, I can't bring myself to consider it forgivable if I'm not writing at the top of my game. Weird, that. Considering how lazy and haphazard I am when I write, this strikes me as a stark contradiction to my own nature as a writer.
Man, do I have a lot on my plate. I suppose I might have to thank someone for my being able to prioritize my writing projects. As it stands, aside from work, here is the "ranking" for my current fiction projects:
Top Tier: Darkness & Stars
Middle Tier: Lie To Me, Lady In Black
Bottom Tier: assorted vignettes, Sisters Of The Storm
More on what these projects actually are later on.
Also, after much time contemplating things thanks to a particular post made by my friend, the cough syrup junkie, I have come to understand something. I cannot define my life without first defining myself.
About a week after that hit me, I realized I have no idea how to define myself. So that got me into even deeper thinking about life, the universe, and everything else. After more deliberation, I finally decided that I probably would remain at my current state, stagnant and decaying, unless I found a way to give myself a direction. Religion is obviously not an option, as religion would turn me into a drone rather than give me the answers I seek. To that end, I've come to realize that, to define myself, I need to answer four philosophical questions.
They are as follows:
Who are you?
What do you want?
Why are you here?
Where are you going?
Sadly, I don't have the answers. Not yet.
Oh, and the very definition of stupidity:
This one is much better.
Either version is actually ridiculously funny. If only because of the sheer stupidity of both the person who made the video and Britney Spears herself.
Monday, September 24, 2007
Suzumiya Haruhi no Gekisou
I recently acquired a copy of the DVD of Suzumiya Haruhi no Gekisou, the concert that featured the seiyuu (voice actors) and songs from the hit show Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuutsu.
Here are a few choice clips from YouTube:
Here are a few choice clips from YouTube:
Bored Man's Bluff
For reasons I do not yet quite understand, I've added Ego Monster's blog to my set of links. Normally, I avoid linking to things where there's not much going on, but in this case, I've somehow talked myself into making an exception. Must be the picture she uses. I've always had a..."thing" for nice legs and the picture...well, it's eye-candy, to be sure. I wonder if they're hers?
Never mind I said that.
Now, let me see...take this test. According to that, I am a:
# very expressed introvert
# distinctively expressed intuitive personality
# moderately expressed thinking personality
# slightly expressed judging personality
I took a more detailed description and this is what it said:
Yeah. Not entirely sure if that actually suits me, to be honest with you. I don't think it suits me at all.
I've decided to set up Kanaverse. This second blog is an archive of all the fiction I'll be writing from here on end. To borrow from the description of it I made...
This move was partially inspired by Chuva of the Chenes, who developed a blog strictly for her artwork.
In theory, doing this should cut down on all the fiction-related clutter of this blog. I've decided not to delete any fiction-related posts on this one, as well as retain Darkness & Stars here, but only for the sake of continuity and archiving.
Most of my friends from Intelligraph are gone from said company. I suppose it couldn't be helped. All the best to the lot of them, 'cause we all know anyone from that company is going to need it.
Never mind I said that.
Now, let me see...take this test. According to that, I am a:
# very expressed introvert
# distinctively expressed intuitive personality
# moderately expressed thinking personality
# slightly expressed judging personality
I took a more detailed description and this is what it said:
Of the four aspects of strategic analysis and definition, it is the contingency planning or entailment organizing role that reaches the highest development in Masterminds. Entailing or contingency planning is not an informative activity, rather it is a directive one in which the planner tells others what to do and in what order to do it. As the organizing capabilities the Masterminds increase so does their inclination to take charge of whatever is going on.
It is in their abilities that Masterminds differ from the other Rationals, while in most of their attitudes they are just like the others. However there is one attitude that sets them apart from other Rationals: they tend to be much more self-confident than the rest, having, for obscure reasons, developed a very strong will. They are rather rare, comprising no more than, say, one percent of the population. Being very judicious, decisions come naturally to them; indeed, they can hardly rest until they have things settled, decided, and set. They are the people who are able to formulate coherent and comprehensive contingency plans, hence contingency organizers or "entailers."
Masterminds will adopt ideas only if they are useful, which is to say if they work efficiently toward accomplishing the Mastermind's well-defined goals. Natural leaders, Masterminds are not at all eager to take command of projects or groups, preferring to stay in the background until others demonstrate their inability to lead. Once in charge, however, Masterminds are the supreme pragmatists, seeing reality as a crucible for refining their strategies for goal-directed action. In a sense, Masterminds approach reality as they would a giant chess board, always seeking strategies that have a high payoff, and always devising contingency plans in case of error or adversity. To the Mastermind, organizational structure and operational procedures are never arbitrary, never set in concrete, but are quite malleable and can be changed, improved, streamlined. In their drive for efficient action, Masterminds are the most open-minded of all the types. No idea is too far-fetched to be entertained-if it is useful. Masterminds are natural brainstormers, always open to new concepts and, in fact, aggressively seeking them. They are also alert to the consequences of applying new ideas or positions. Theories which cannot be made to work are quickly discarded by the Masterminds. On the other hand, Masterminds can be quite ruthless in implementing effective ideas, seldom counting personal cost in terms of time and energy.
Yeah. Not entirely sure if that actually suits me, to be honest with you. I don't think it suits me at all.
I've decided to set up Kanaverse. This second blog is an archive of all the fiction I'll be writing from here on end. To borrow from the description of it I made...
Here you will find my random bits of creativity, ranging from vignettes to novellas, romance to science fiction. In other words, don't expect much good sense to come of this.
This move was partially inspired by Chuva of the Chenes, who developed a blog strictly for her artwork.
In theory, doing this should cut down on all the fiction-related clutter of this blog. I've decided not to delete any fiction-related posts on this one, as well as retain Darkness & Stars here, but only for the sake of continuity and archiving.
Most of my friends from Intelligraph are gone from said company. I suppose it couldn't be helped. All the best to the lot of them, 'cause we all know anyone from that company is going to need it.
Friday, September 21, 2007
I'm Bored. Sue Me.
First, let's get rid of the useless trite in my head:
If you look up EduNara on Google, the fourth result is my post on it. Funny, that.
If you look up Intelligraph Corporation on Google, my entire July 2007 Archive pops up on the first page of results.
Finally, I'm thinking of setting up a separate blog as an archive for my new story idea, but the chances of my finishing that story are relatively minimal. Still, I guess having an online archive that's in the public eye would be a mild motivation for updated writing.
Not really a whole lot to talk about in this entry. Just needed something to take my mind off of Darkness & Stars for a bit, 'tis all. Besides, updating my links to other sites/blogs sort of got me into this mood.
Oh, and this:
If you look up EduNara on Google, the fourth result is my post on it. Funny, that.
If you look up Intelligraph Corporation on Google, my entire July 2007 Archive pops up on the first page of results.
Finally, I'm thinking of setting up a separate blog as an archive for my new story idea, but the chances of my finishing that story are relatively minimal. Still, I guess having an online archive that's in the public eye would be a mild motivation for updated writing.
Not really a whole lot to talk about in this entry. Just needed something to take my mind off of Darkness & Stars for a bit, 'tis all. Besides, updating my links to other sites/blogs sort of got me into this mood.
Oh, and this:
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
School Days, episode 12 - delayed!
This is sad news for me. It really is.
I was hoping to see how the trainwreck ends. However, the fact that they delayed the ending because of that report implies to me that the ending is not a pleasant one for one of the characters. There have been subtle hints going around that this will not end well, particularly with all the focus on knives, but I think this action confirms it. The ending has to have at least one murder in it for them to delay this because of a murder.
Incidentally, this particular murder seems like an echo of the Nevada-tan incident a while back. Hmm...School Days-tan sounds a little odd, though. I think 'Axe Murder-tan' would work much better.
I'm hoping that they air the episode, rather than go for a straight-to-DVD release. I've invested way too much time and interest in this show not to see it as soon as possible.
...you know, this post was supposed to be an excerpt from a side project I was working on entitled Lie To Me, but that can wait.
Anyway, I just love this video to bits!
I was hoping to see how the trainwreck ends. However, the fact that they delayed the ending because of that report implies to me that the ending is not a pleasant one for one of the characters. There have been subtle hints going around that this will not end well, particularly with all the focus on knives, but I think this action confirms it. The ending has to have at least one murder in it for them to delay this because of a murder.
Incidentally, this particular murder seems like an echo of the Nevada-tan incident a while back. Hmm...School Days-tan sounds a little odd, though. I think 'Axe Murder-tan' would work much better.
I'm hoping that they air the episode, rather than go for a straight-to-DVD release. I've invested way too much time and interest in this show not to see it as soon as possible.
...you know, this post was supposed to be an excerpt from a side project I was working on entitled Lie To Me, but that can wait.
Anyway, I just love this video to bits!
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
Best Laid Plans
One of my many frustrations as a writer is my inability to follow through on a number of my plans. Chalk it up to writer's block, performance anxiety, or whatever-you-will. The fact is, 80% of all my ideas never get finished. Some never even get started beyond that one page worth of text. Sure, I save all of my "almost starts" and "halfway theres" in a folder I call "Unfinished Business," but I don't think I ever really managed to get back to any of them. Even The Vampire Nicoletta, the piece in that folder that got the farthest (a good 30% of the story was done) hasn't been dusted off and added to in a long, long time.
Of course, this situation contrasts with the pieces that I have managed to finish.
I suppose I should take a bit of pride in what I've managed to finish, even if I'm not exactly proud of how they turned out when compared to how I wanted them to be. Sure, there are aspects of them that are retained and, somehow, I managed to keep my core idea for the pieces coherent despite the degeneration of the narratives themselves, but...well, I'm not sure exactly. I suppose the changes reflect my moods whenever I wrote, but there's something more to it I can't quite place off the top of my disjointed little head. I guess it has something to do with my rather contradictory writing nature.
You see, when I manage to land a hook on a project I truly enjoy, I keep at it until the end is done. However, even if I'm into the project at the start, my interest might wane after I've started. If the contents of my "Unfinished Business" folder are any indication, then I tend to lose interest more often than stay interested. A sad state of affairs, particularly for a number of pieces that could have been good, solid short stories. Nothing major or grandiose, but able to stand their own ground against casual critics. I find it sad, really. Looking at the contents of that folder (it's about 300MB [roughly] of unfinished fiction, which is a lot when you consider the relative file sizes of MS Word documents) makes me feel like a killer - in the bad way. Every one of them feels like a dream I shot down, with the worst part being that they're my own in many ways.
I'm not worried about my mind suddenly abandoning Darkness & Stars, but work on that darling piece is slow-going. Now more than ever, thanks to work and other ideas running around my head. Literally, I might add.
I literally hear the voices and see the images of the various characters I've created in my head at all times. It's like they've populated my head and turned part of it into an ever-expanding metropolis that they populate. In many ways, attempting to think about how they all fit into the already-jumbled mess that is my mind scares me. The fact that I thoroughly imagine them to be rather hostile to me fills me with even greater alarm. Oddly enough, I don't hear the voices of the characters who appear in my finished works. Their voices die out as soon as I'm finished with their story, but the ones who never get their "time in the spotlight" stick around and torment me whenever I close my eyes.
Yes, I know I sound schizophrenic. Maybe, in some ways, I am. Who really knows?
Which brings me to what brought about this bout of introspection.
I've got another plan in the works. This one...well, I'm not even sure how to put it together exactly. Maybe it will never come together, who knows? All I know is, the main characters, Pamela and Ivy, are causing a real ruckus in my head whenever I sleep. If ever mere fragments and aspects of a person's subconscious could be defined as "persistent" and "unrelenting," those two would fit the bill. It doesn't help that I have no idea how I came up them or which of my thousands of ideas they came from (though I do detect vague hints of the Batman Poison Ivy [the version seen in The New Batman Adventures] in the way my mind designed their appearance).
It amazes me, actually. The level of detail and dedication my subconscious mind can attribute to characters and worlds that are in my head. Then, the moment I try to get them down on paper (or screen, as the case may be), the whole thing just goes downhill.
Ah, but I'm probably just defeating myself with this. I'm sure my latest idea, Pamela & Ivy, won't end up in "Unfinished Business." At least, I hope not. It is a rather plain, nice concept, but one that won't be too long and probably won't have much room for all the insanity and oddness I'm known to stuff into my work.
Of course, this situation contrasts with the pieces that I have managed to finish.
I suppose I should take a bit of pride in what I've managed to finish, even if I'm not exactly proud of how they turned out when compared to how I wanted them to be. Sure, there are aspects of them that are retained and, somehow, I managed to keep my core idea for the pieces coherent despite the degeneration of the narratives themselves, but...well, I'm not sure exactly. I suppose the changes reflect my moods whenever I wrote, but there's something more to it I can't quite place off the top of my disjointed little head. I guess it has something to do with my rather contradictory writing nature.
You see, when I manage to land a hook on a project I truly enjoy, I keep at it until the end is done. However, even if I'm into the project at the start, my interest might wane after I've started. If the contents of my "Unfinished Business" folder are any indication, then I tend to lose interest more often than stay interested. A sad state of affairs, particularly for a number of pieces that could have been good, solid short stories. Nothing major or grandiose, but able to stand their own ground against casual critics. I find it sad, really. Looking at the contents of that folder (it's about 300MB [roughly] of unfinished fiction, which is a lot when you consider the relative file sizes of MS Word documents) makes me feel like a killer - in the bad way. Every one of them feels like a dream I shot down, with the worst part being that they're my own in many ways.
I'm not worried about my mind suddenly abandoning Darkness & Stars, but work on that darling piece is slow-going. Now more than ever, thanks to work and other ideas running around my head. Literally, I might add.
I literally hear the voices and see the images of the various characters I've created in my head at all times. It's like they've populated my head and turned part of it into an ever-expanding metropolis that they populate. In many ways, attempting to think about how they all fit into the already-jumbled mess that is my mind scares me. The fact that I thoroughly imagine them to be rather hostile to me fills me with even greater alarm. Oddly enough, I don't hear the voices of the characters who appear in my finished works. Their voices die out as soon as I'm finished with their story, but the ones who never get their "time in the spotlight" stick around and torment me whenever I close my eyes.
Yes, I know I sound schizophrenic. Maybe, in some ways, I am. Who really knows?
Which brings me to what brought about this bout of introspection.
I've got another plan in the works. This one...well, I'm not even sure how to put it together exactly. Maybe it will never come together, who knows? All I know is, the main characters, Pamela and Ivy, are causing a real ruckus in my head whenever I sleep. If ever mere fragments and aspects of a person's subconscious could be defined as "persistent" and "unrelenting," those two would fit the bill. It doesn't help that I have no idea how I came up them or which of my thousands of ideas they came from (though I do detect vague hints of the Batman Poison Ivy [the version seen in The New Batman Adventures] in the way my mind designed their appearance).
It amazes me, actually. The level of detail and dedication my subconscious mind can attribute to characters and worlds that are in my head. Then, the moment I try to get them down on paper (or screen, as the case may be), the whole thing just goes downhill.
Ah, but I'm probably just defeating myself with this. I'm sure my latest idea, Pamela & Ivy, won't end up in "Unfinished Business." At least, I hope not. It is a rather plain, nice concept, but one that won't be too long and probably won't have much room for all the insanity and oddness I'm known to stuff into my work.
Friday, September 14, 2007
The Truth.
"In an insane world, going crazy is the sane reaction. Anything else is just insane."
I have now adopted this as my mantra for pretty much anything that happens in my life.
Thoughts On School Days, Post Episode 11
This picture about sums up what I think of Itou Makoto, lead male of School Days.
I think part of the appeal of School Days for me is the schadenfreude element of it. I'm getting a sick, sadistic pleasure out of watching the inevitable train wreck that will be the ending of it. If my guess is correct, that idiot is going to die, die, die, and it'll be a happy ending for the show. Any ending where this bastard actually lives is going to be a severe disappointment and living proof that there is no damn justice in the world, even in fiction!
Here's a working recap of pretty much all his offenses.
However, for me, the real problem lies in his blatant inability to see his own fault in this whole mess. He's effectively ruined Sekai's life with what he's done, ostracized his old friend Otome, used and discarded Setsuna and Hikari like they were tissues, and from the way episode 11 ended, he's on his way to ruining Kotonoha as well. Although technically, I think he's already done that in an indirect manner, getting her raped by Sawanaga and ruining her fragile emotional state. The sad part is that, prior to Sekai getting pregnant, all the girls on the show seemed to be falling head over heels for the despicable little rat.
About the only good thing he's done so far is to apologize to Kotonoha. And that only came about because he thought his actions had driven her batshit insane, which they did. Sure, his apology has managed to bring Kotonoha back from the brink of being the psychotic killer that she could have become (somehow, the sight of her fondling a kitchen knife is not all that scary to me, however), but how long is that going to last? Knowing Makoto, he's going to do something utterly and inexcusably stupid and Kotonoha snaps again.
Right now, I'd want to see Sekai kill Makoto for going back to Kotonoha and breaking her heart. Never mind the fact that her believing Kotonoha stole Makoto from her is basically what she did to Kotonoha earlier on. After getting a knife to the gut, Sekai snaps back to reality and runs. Kotonoha, however, catches on to this and snaps, tracking down and killing Sekai in the process. And after that, she completely breaks down mentally.
Yes, that's what I think is going to happen at the end. I do have a little wishful thinking that Kotonoha still continues to attend school despite having broken down completely, with Otome changing from bully to supportive friend. Possibly even lover. Yes, wishful thinking in the extreme. Still, it would be oddly appropriate, considering the nature of the show.
Oh, and someone please find me and shoot me. Dead.
I'm listening to the soundtrack of High School Musical.
Shoot me.
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
Weird And Pointless Trite
MarryOurDaughter.com
I find this site both entertaining and disturbing. Even if it is just a hoax. Here's a testimonial from the site itself:
How To Seduce Your Sister
I know. Weird. I...would rather not explain this.
No, I don't have any sisters.
That I'm aware of.
Ain't that the truth?
No, I did not write this. But it does sound oddly similar to how I view love and romance.
These, my friends, are words only true love can inspire in someone. Again, I did not come up with that.
A summary of episode 11 of School Days, "Everyone's Makoto."
The fact that this could be used as a set-up for a good, happy, sappy ending makes me sick to my stomach. After all that investment in the slow, depraved psychosis that Kotonoha goes through, and they spring this on people? Sick and wrong, that's what this is.
I want by "Conclusion of Blood," damn it!
I find this site both entertaining and disturbing. Even if it is just a hoax. Here's a testimonial from the site itself:
"At first we were worried that Janine was too young to get married, but then her new husband bought her a house and a car and jewelry and the money we got let us buy a house for ourselves. Getting out of the trailer park at our age was the best thing that ever happened to us, and it’s all thanks to Marry Our Daughter!"
—Mr. Jack M.
How To Seduce Your Sister
This little self-help guide is designed to help you achieve the goals that you have chosen for yourself. In this particular edition, we will cover the steps needed to go from wanting to become your sister's lover to actually being your sister's lover.
I know. Weird. I...would rather not explain this.
No, I don't have any sisters.
That I'm aware of.
I firmly believe that religion is the world's biggest, most blatantly milked cashcow.
Ain't that the truth?
"Tragic, deceptive, insane, innocent-looking, manipulative, immoral, lonely... it's what makes a girl fascinating and desirable. So lonely and hurt in her heart you absolutely want to comfort her, so insane and immoral you absolutely fear to become close to her, so deceptive and manipulative you wonder if you're acting out of your free will.
This is what I call 'fascination'. This is what describes my ideal girl."
No, I did not write this. But it does sound oddly similar to how I view love and romance.
"Watashi ga inakunattara, ippai kurushinde, kanashinde, watashi no omoide ni shibarate ite hoshiindesu."
Translation: I don't want you to forget about me... When I am gone, I want you to be in great pain and sadness being tied down by your memories with me.
These, my friends, are words only true love can inspire in someone. Again, I did not come up with that.
A summary of episode 11 of School Days, "Everyone's Makoto."
Sekai reveals to Makoto that she is pregnant. Makoto sleeps with multiple girls. However, they start to turn away from him when the rumors of her pregnancy spread. Makoto realizes the damage he's done to Kotonoha and apologizes. She returns to normal.
The fact that this could be used as a set-up for a good, happy, sappy ending makes me sick to my stomach. After all that investment in the slow, depraved psychosis that Kotonoha goes through, and they spring this on people? Sick and wrong, that's what this is.
I want by "Conclusion of Blood," damn it!
Monday, September 10, 2007
The Mad Scribe's Musings On "The Art"
Note: Most of what I'm about to write down ought to be common knowledge to all writers. In fact, I'm sure everything I'm about to mention has been written about already writers who understood the art better than I did. However, seeing as how I'm stretched for workable ideas on what to write here without it feeling like pointless spam later on, I guess it wouldn't hurt to put my own spin on things.
Disclaimer: Some of this advice may or may not make sense to you. Some of this advice may or may not apply to you. Heed these words at your own creative risk. You have been forewarned.
1. Writers should write what they know, but understand how to wrap what they know around what they don't know.
In other words, learn how to associate the key concepts of one thing to the key concepts of another. My ex-girlfriend, a wise-but-batshit-insane woman, once told me that "Everything in life can be compared to war." After much deliberation on her words, I have come to realize that she's absolutely right on that. Being a student of military history and tactics, she often compared situations and events in her life (including her love life) to war and military strategy. This helped her cope with her problems better, giving her an angle that she could work in without having to go unprepared into an area of expertise she knew little of.
Basically, she figured out that by using something she understood (war) to explain something she didn't understand (love) to herself, she could get a better idea of how to deal with it. The same principle applies when you're writing. If you can't do the research or you can't get the materials you need first-hand, then you may be better off wrapping something you know around that unknown factor in your writing. For example, if you're trying to write about a critical point in a romantic relationship, rather than force yourself to write about emotions you have little grasp of, you can take something you know and use it as a metaphor. The last time I did this, I used blackjack and it worked fine.
2. Details. Manage them.
It is integral for a writer to know the details of what he's writing, even if most of it doesn't get anywhere near whatever it is he happens to be writing at the time. Understanding the little things helps you understand the big picture, and all that. You don't have to stick all those details in, as a good narrative can stand even without the level of background detail that Tolkien gave Middle-Earth. However, if you don't give the piece enough of a background, then it will lack a spine and the construct that is written will fail to stand up to any level of scrutiny. To put this metaphorically, you should know how to see the trees, but also be able to see the forest too. For most people, they can only see either the forest or the individual trees. You'll have to train yourself to see both, but still be able to tell them apart when you need to.
While this one applies more to fiction, it can also be adapted to writing non-fiction. In both areas, you're basically writing about something that your readers are likely to be unfamiliar with. They may have some idea, but their knowledge is likely far, far removed from being in-depth. As such, you have to know how to strike a balance with what you include. Give them enough details for them to understand what's going on and what already went on. However, don't give them so much that your flow of ideas is regularly interrupted by you showing off your encyclopedic knowledge of what might be a minor tangent of what's going on.
3. A little psychology and sociology goes a long, long way.
Understand how the human mind works, and how human minds work when gathered together. It's amazing what insights you can get if you just sit back and observe a few things. This, in turn, can help your writing, as you have a better grasp of what would make your readers (or characters) tick. It also helps show the differences between individual thought and group thought, as the two are painfully different things. Having a decent grasp of how the two work, as well as how they correlate with one another, is a useful thing to have. Works great with characterization in fiction, but can also be useful when constructing something that's designed to sell a product in a subtle way. Psycholinguistics, and all that, mates.
While the one previous to this was better suited for fiction, I think this one is more applicable to non-fiction. Or at least advertising copy. The point of advertising copy (and, on a tangent, what I'm getting paid to write by my current job) is to sell something. Since you're not speaking to the customers directly, you can't hammer down any resistance like you would if you were talking to them. Instead, the best way to sell a product (or cajole a person into clicking a link) is a little subtle manipulation. Make the article an interesting piece, but make sure you leave out enough to make them want to check out your link as a potential resource. The whole "sense of urgency" strategy of sales works too, but you'd need to better understand your target audience if you're writing. Basically, if you know what buttons to press, then your job is a lot easier.
This can apply to writing fiction as well, particularly if you're trying to grab as big an audience as you can. A little sociology can help in marketing the book and getting it off the shelves. However, you'll need a touch of psychology to get people to read the book and, if there are sequels planned, eat those up too. The right words in the right places, folks.
4. Creativity is like Mother Nature. You can drop a suggestion or two, but ultimately, she follows her own course. Best to just sit back, relax, and enjoy the ride.
Seriously. If you get writer's block, don't panic. Stay calm, meditate, avoid getting too caught up in the problem. Think of writing as being similar to The Force, from Star Wars. Rather than shove the ideas from mind to paper, let the ideas flow. Let the ideas and your own creativity guide you, rather than forcing your mind to be creative. If nothing comes to mind, take a moment or two to relax for a bit and let the thoughts simmer a little. When your mind truly refuses to cooperate, don't force it to bend to your will and leave the notion aside for another day. Work on something else, if you have to.
The key here is to never stop writing. Not thinking, but writing. Never let the creativity die down simply because you don't need to write at that particular moment. To keep your writing skills and your creativity sharp, you need to constantly hone them, sharpen then. It's kind of like fighting with a lightsaber: you're never going to get good enough if you don't practice with a live opponent, spar with an experienced master, and constantly acclimate your body and mind to how you want to use the weapon. The same concepts apply to writing. You can't really master writing if you stop writing in your head just because you don't have to write for that particular time. Keep your creative juices flowing, even if most of your ideas will never make it past your head. That way, the few that do get to be written down on paper will be products of a sharp, skilled creative mind.
5. Every scar a step closer to enlightenment, every cut a badge of honor, every cry a fragment of perfection.
Never accept the limits and borders that your culture, upbringing, and environment have set upon you when you write. Writing has always been about pushing limits, pushing buttons, and pushing boundaries. Never let your own limitations be the limitations of the characters you write or the scenarios you create. Just because you're happy and optimistic doesn't mean that everything you write has to have a happy and optimistic tone. Sure, it's easier to do, but it hardly forces you to exercise your ability to think and get into someone else's frame of mind. Continue to expand your boundaries and push new visions forward.
As a writer, you are part of a global community, a global breed of artists. As an artist, you have to have just that touch of madness, that sense of recklessness and spite for the status quo that you have to represent, to a degree. Artists have to be able to look outside the status quo, to envision things that most people could not. Or would not. Even if what you're writing is hardly something you'd want your name associated with, you have to keep poking.
6. A writer ought to be, by his very nature, a perpetual student of life, the universe, and everything.
Personally, I think every writer should continually expand his horizons, learn more things, and embrace new ways of looking at old ideas. There really is no such thing as an original concept in this world anymore, so sometimes, you have no other choice but to take the old and try to make it shiny and new. However, most people who do have a tendency to fail miserably. Writers should always try to expand what they are capable of writing, and not merely be content with wrapping the known around the unknown. Writing is a discipline that, like Jeet Kune Do, should not be made static. Instead, it should embrace the flow of new ideas, reinterpretations of old material, and the evolution of archaic systems and genres.
A writer, if you ask me, is both a student and an observer. You have to observe the world, take note of the minutiae and watch the drama unfold from as objective a view as your mind can afford you. At the same time, you have to take notes and study the phenomena of the world, society, and the human being sitting next to you. Anything and everything can be taken to have an ulterior meaning, a deeper significance. It is up to the individual mind to put their own personal spin on it. There are more than two sides to every proper story, and for every angle on a topic, there are a thousand ways to spin it around. Just don't force yourself to find those spins. Let them find you.
7. Bounce ideas around.
There is one place you can go that can provide you with a million and one ideas at no cost, if you can train yourself to separate the mindless rabble from the golden opportunities. Other people.
Listen to other people. Minimize your participation in other people's conversations. Rather than talk, listen. Take in everything and sort through their statements later with your mind. Chances are, you'll pick up an idea or two that you can work with immediately and a few others you might want to put away for use at a later date. The fact is, people have a tendency to just talk and talk and talk, with little to no regard on what ideas they might be spewing out. As a writer, one of my greatest tricks is to listen to other people, assimilate the ideas that I could, and put the rest under consideration for future use. What you can't make sense of now might be something you embrace after a few more life experiences. Listen to the people, hear what they have to say, and learn how to make use of it.
The inspiration for the next great novel could just come from the mouth of the beer-guzzling idiot sitting next to you, or from the mouth of that kid who looks like he's planning how to steal your car. You never know.
8. Writers are like organized serial killers, in that we tend to have personal rituals we need to perform before we can truly start working.
As a writer, I tend to be very, very superstitious with my writing. I always clean the inboxes of my multitude of e-mail addresses first, then check out Deviantart and Akibakko for new pictures to add to my collection, then check other people's blogs before I start writing for the day. This is because this is my quirk, my ritual. For others, it involves plugging in headphones and dancing along to some obscure RnB track that I'm not fond of. For others, it is checking out the online version of a local newspaper. It all varies from person to person, but every writer has a quirk, a ritual they have to perform. It really shouldn't matter and, in theory, even without it, we can write. However, we choose not to.
The fact is, writers can sometimes be a very ritualistic lot. What worked once for us, we tend to believe will work for us constantly. It helps us write, if only because it serves as a psychological comfort zone for us. It's kind of like a security blanket that you need to fall asleep, even if you don't need it to stay asleep. We have rituals we need to perform before the creative part of us allows the rest of the mind to catch up. I suppose, in many ways, we don't really need that, but we endure our rituals anyway.
That's it for today, folks. No more, because no more have come to me. What, you expected a flat 10? Please. Anyway, I've done my work for the day, and I've done this not-quite-as-pointless-as-the-rest blog post, so I can safely say that I need to get back to writing Chapter 22 of Darkness & Stars. Bye for now, ladies and gits.
Now, permit me to leave you with this happy picture...
Disclaimer: Some of this advice may or may not make sense to you. Some of this advice may or may not apply to you. Heed these words at your own creative risk. You have been forewarned.
1. Writers should write what they know, but understand how to wrap what they know around what they don't know.
In other words, learn how to associate the key concepts of one thing to the key concepts of another. My ex-girlfriend, a wise-but-batshit-insane woman, once told me that "Everything in life can be compared to war." After much deliberation on her words, I have come to realize that she's absolutely right on that. Being a student of military history and tactics, she often compared situations and events in her life (including her love life) to war and military strategy. This helped her cope with her problems better, giving her an angle that she could work in without having to go unprepared into an area of expertise she knew little of.
Basically, she figured out that by using something she understood (war) to explain something she didn't understand (love) to herself, she could get a better idea of how to deal with it. The same principle applies when you're writing. If you can't do the research or you can't get the materials you need first-hand, then you may be better off wrapping something you know around that unknown factor in your writing. For example, if you're trying to write about a critical point in a romantic relationship, rather than force yourself to write about emotions you have little grasp of, you can take something you know and use it as a metaphor. The last time I did this, I used blackjack and it worked fine.
2. Details. Manage them.
It is integral for a writer to know the details of what he's writing, even if most of it doesn't get anywhere near whatever it is he happens to be writing at the time. Understanding the little things helps you understand the big picture, and all that. You don't have to stick all those details in, as a good narrative can stand even without the level of background detail that Tolkien gave Middle-Earth. However, if you don't give the piece enough of a background, then it will lack a spine and the construct that is written will fail to stand up to any level of scrutiny. To put this metaphorically, you should know how to see the trees, but also be able to see the forest too. For most people, they can only see either the forest or the individual trees. You'll have to train yourself to see both, but still be able to tell them apart when you need to.
While this one applies more to fiction, it can also be adapted to writing non-fiction. In both areas, you're basically writing about something that your readers are likely to be unfamiliar with. They may have some idea, but their knowledge is likely far, far removed from being in-depth. As such, you have to know how to strike a balance with what you include. Give them enough details for them to understand what's going on and what already went on. However, don't give them so much that your flow of ideas is regularly interrupted by you showing off your encyclopedic knowledge of what might be a minor tangent of what's going on.
3. A little psychology and sociology goes a long, long way.
Understand how the human mind works, and how human minds work when gathered together. It's amazing what insights you can get if you just sit back and observe a few things. This, in turn, can help your writing, as you have a better grasp of what would make your readers (or characters) tick. It also helps show the differences between individual thought and group thought, as the two are painfully different things. Having a decent grasp of how the two work, as well as how they correlate with one another, is a useful thing to have. Works great with characterization in fiction, but can also be useful when constructing something that's designed to sell a product in a subtle way. Psycholinguistics, and all that, mates.
While the one previous to this was better suited for fiction, I think this one is more applicable to non-fiction. Or at least advertising copy. The point of advertising copy (and, on a tangent, what I'm getting paid to write by my current job) is to sell something. Since you're not speaking to the customers directly, you can't hammer down any resistance like you would if you were talking to them. Instead, the best way to sell a product (or cajole a person into clicking a link) is a little subtle manipulation. Make the article an interesting piece, but make sure you leave out enough to make them want to check out your link as a potential resource. The whole "sense of urgency" strategy of sales works too, but you'd need to better understand your target audience if you're writing. Basically, if you know what buttons to press, then your job is a lot easier.
This can apply to writing fiction as well, particularly if you're trying to grab as big an audience as you can. A little sociology can help in marketing the book and getting it off the shelves. However, you'll need a touch of psychology to get people to read the book and, if there are sequels planned, eat those up too. The right words in the right places, folks.
4. Creativity is like Mother Nature. You can drop a suggestion or two, but ultimately, she follows her own course. Best to just sit back, relax, and enjoy the ride.
Seriously. If you get writer's block, don't panic. Stay calm, meditate, avoid getting too caught up in the problem. Think of writing as being similar to The Force, from Star Wars. Rather than shove the ideas from mind to paper, let the ideas flow. Let the ideas and your own creativity guide you, rather than forcing your mind to be creative. If nothing comes to mind, take a moment or two to relax for a bit and let the thoughts simmer a little. When your mind truly refuses to cooperate, don't force it to bend to your will and leave the notion aside for another day. Work on something else, if you have to.
The key here is to never stop writing. Not thinking, but writing. Never let the creativity die down simply because you don't need to write at that particular moment. To keep your writing skills and your creativity sharp, you need to constantly hone them, sharpen then. It's kind of like fighting with a lightsaber: you're never going to get good enough if you don't practice with a live opponent, spar with an experienced master, and constantly acclimate your body and mind to how you want to use the weapon. The same concepts apply to writing. You can't really master writing if you stop writing in your head just because you don't have to write for that particular time. Keep your creative juices flowing, even if most of your ideas will never make it past your head. That way, the few that do get to be written down on paper will be products of a sharp, skilled creative mind.
5. Every scar a step closer to enlightenment, every cut a badge of honor, every cry a fragment of perfection.
Never accept the limits and borders that your culture, upbringing, and environment have set upon you when you write. Writing has always been about pushing limits, pushing buttons, and pushing boundaries. Never let your own limitations be the limitations of the characters you write or the scenarios you create. Just because you're happy and optimistic doesn't mean that everything you write has to have a happy and optimistic tone. Sure, it's easier to do, but it hardly forces you to exercise your ability to think and get into someone else's frame of mind. Continue to expand your boundaries and push new visions forward.
As a writer, you are part of a global community, a global breed of artists. As an artist, you have to have just that touch of madness, that sense of recklessness and spite for the status quo that you have to represent, to a degree. Artists have to be able to look outside the status quo, to envision things that most people could not. Or would not. Even if what you're writing is hardly something you'd want your name associated with, you have to keep poking.
6. A writer ought to be, by his very nature, a perpetual student of life, the universe, and everything.
Personally, I think every writer should continually expand his horizons, learn more things, and embrace new ways of looking at old ideas. There really is no such thing as an original concept in this world anymore, so sometimes, you have no other choice but to take the old and try to make it shiny and new. However, most people who do have a tendency to fail miserably. Writers should always try to expand what they are capable of writing, and not merely be content with wrapping the known around the unknown. Writing is a discipline that, like Jeet Kune Do, should not be made static. Instead, it should embrace the flow of new ideas, reinterpretations of old material, and the evolution of archaic systems and genres.
A writer, if you ask me, is both a student and an observer. You have to observe the world, take note of the minutiae and watch the drama unfold from as objective a view as your mind can afford you. At the same time, you have to take notes and study the phenomena of the world, society, and the human being sitting next to you. Anything and everything can be taken to have an ulterior meaning, a deeper significance. It is up to the individual mind to put their own personal spin on it. There are more than two sides to every proper story, and for every angle on a topic, there are a thousand ways to spin it around. Just don't force yourself to find those spins. Let them find you.
7. Bounce ideas around.
There is one place you can go that can provide you with a million and one ideas at no cost, if you can train yourself to separate the mindless rabble from the golden opportunities. Other people.
Listen to other people. Minimize your participation in other people's conversations. Rather than talk, listen. Take in everything and sort through their statements later with your mind. Chances are, you'll pick up an idea or two that you can work with immediately and a few others you might want to put away for use at a later date. The fact is, people have a tendency to just talk and talk and talk, with little to no regard on what ideas they might be spewing out. As a writer, one of my greatest tricks is to listen to other people, assimilate the ideas that I could, and put the rest under consideration for future use. What you can't make sense of now might be something you embrace after a few more life experiences. Listen to the people, hear what they have to say, and learn how to make use of it.
The inspiration for the next great novel could just come from the mouth of the beer-guzzling idiot sitting next to you, or from the mouth of that kid who looks like he's planning how to steal your car. You never know.
8. Writers are like organized serial killers, in that we tend to have personal rituals we need to perform before we can truly start working.
As a writer, I tend to be very, very superstitious with my writing. I always clean the inboxes of my multitude of e-mail addresses first, then check out Deviantart and Akibakko for new pictures to add to my collection, then check other people's blogs before I start writing for the day. This is because this is my quirk, my ritual. For others, it involves plugging in headphones and dancing along to some obscure RnB track that I'm not fond of. For others, it is checking out the online version of a local newspaper. It all varies from person to person, but every writer has a quirk, a ritual they have to perform. It really shouldn't matter and, in theory, even without it, we can write. However, we choose not to.
The fact is, writers can sometimes be a very ritualistic lot. What worked once for us, we tend to believe will work for us constantly. It helps us write, if only because it serves as a psychological comfort zone for us. It's kind of like a security blanket that you need to fall asleep, even if you don't need it to stay asleep. We have rituals we need to perform before the creative part of us allows the rest of the mind to catch up. I suppose, in many ways, we don't really need that, but we endure our rituals anyway.
That's it for today, folks. No more, because no more have come to me. What, you expected a flat 10? Please. Anyway, I've done my work for the day, and I've done this not-quite-as-pointless-as-the-rest blog post, so I can safely say that I need to get back to writing Chapter 22 of Darkness & Stars. Bye for now, ladies and gits.
Now, permit me to leave you with this happy picture...
Friday, September 07, 2007
You Know...
You know you're using your computer too much when you can't play solitaire with a real deck of cards.
You know you're texting too much when you believe 'you' is the improper spelling of the word 'u.'
You know you've been using Windows too long when you name your three kids Control, Alt, and Delete.
You know you're being too philosophical when you start comparing life to paint drying.
You know you've watched too much porn when you imagine everybody fully dressed to calm yourself down.
You know you've watched too much anime when you imagine a semi-nude transformation sequence every time a girl says she has to change.
You know you've watched too many foreign movies when you look for subtitles while watching a show in your native language.
You know you're bored when watching grass grow sounds like an exciting activity.
You know you need to get a life when you go to your first confession in a month, and you've got nothing to confess.
You know you have bad taste if you go to an ice cream parlor with 42 incredible flavors, and you pick vanilla.
You know you're poor when you don't even have calcium deposits.
You know you're stupid if you go in the window before checking if the door was locked.
You know you're stalking someone if they don't know who you are, but you know whether they put their pants on one leg at a time.
You know you need to buy a new car when snails start outrunning you and you're at top speed.
You know you're depressed if you think you're dead, look around, and believe that the afterlife is a severe disappointment.
You know you're not supposed to get married when you're third fiance doesn't show up.
You know you've got marital problems when your husband wants to be a girl.
You know you've been doing too many drugs when Britney Spears' songs actually start to sound like music to you.
You know you're watching too many soap operas when you start wondering if you're talking to your girlfriend's evil twin the moment she acts a little funny.
You know you're in shark-infested waters when you find that your leg's been chewed off.
You know you've been hanging around girls too much when you tell them "I understand" and actually mean it.
You know you need exercise when you can't even lift the TV remote.
You know you're texting too much when you believe 'you' is the improper spelling of the word 'u.'
You know you've been using Windows too long when you name your three kids Control, Alt, and Delete.
You know you're being too philosophical when you start comparing life to paint drying.
You know you've watched too much porn when you imagine everybody fully dressed to calm yourself down.
You know you've watched too much anime when you imagine a semi-nude transformation sequence every time a girl says she has to change.
You know you've watched too many foreign movies when you look for subtitles while watching a show in your native language.
You know you're bored when watching grass grow sounds like an exciting activity.
You know you need to get a life when you go to your first confession in a month, and you've got nothing to confess.
You know you have bad taste if you go to an ice cream parlor with 42 incredible flavors, and you pick vanilla.
You know you're poor when you don't even have calcium deposits.
You know you're stupid if you go in the window before checking if the door was locked.
You know you're stalking someone if they don't know who you are, but you know whether they put their pants on one leg at a time.
You know you need to buy a new car when snails start outrunning you and you're at top speed.
You know you're depressed if you think you're dead, look around, and believe that the afterlife is a severe disappointment.
You know you're not supposed to get married when you're third fiance doesn't show up.
You know you've got marital problems when your husband wants to be a girl.
You know you've been doing too many drugs when Britney Spears' songs actually start to sound like music to you.
You know you're watching too many soap operas when you start wondering if you're talking to your girlfriend's evil twin the moment she acts a little funny.
You know you're in shark-infested waters when you find that your leg's been chewed off.
You know you've been hanging around girls too much when you tell them "I understand" and actually mean it.
You know you need exercise when you can't even lift the TV remote.
Thursday, September 06, 2007
Madness And The Art
Do you have to be crazy to write? I've heard the words "All writers are crazy; it just differs on what specifically makes us crazy" so many times that I've started to wonder if there's even any truth to it. People, by nature, can be creative. All it takes, I believe, is a little prodding and a little push in the right direction. There's a best-seller inside every person's mind, but the discrepancy comes in whether or not those people have the skills and faculties to put that baby onto that blank page in front of them. But what is that missing quality, that unknown factor that makes a person able to put down his thoughts and emotions into the written word, while others are left gnawing their teeth and bewildered as to how to begin?
Is it madness?
I can understand the use of the phrase above in the Philippines. Artistic pursuits are looked upon with extreme disfavor by this country, unless you're a singer or actress. Even then, you're admired less for your art and more for...well, your visual (or comedic) appeal. However, other countries are not so inherently anti-artist in their culture, yet the phrase persists anyway. Writers are considered to have some sort of mental defect that inspires both envy and terror in other people. Writers are automatically seen to be very intelligent, well-read, and knowledgeable, but at the same time, they are stereotyped to me just this side of insane, not really "normal" in the social sense, and probably not that adept in the socio-cultural graces of others their age. I realize this is a bad stereotype, but the sad truth is, it wouldn't have become a stereotype if there wasn't some sort of evidence for it.
Do writers have to be detached from reality, even by just a small degree, to write effectively? It seems a little excessive, but there is a grain of truth to it. That is, if you include the common perception and acceptance of things as aspects of reality at large. Using this as a backdrop, then a little detachment can be useful in providing the observations and ideas that writers put forth in their work. However, this does not explain non-fiction and technical writers. Technical writers are exempt from this, as the common perception of technical writer is someone who is a little too obsessed with a specific field, such as computers or physics. Non-fiction, in theory, is also exempt, but for different reasons. Which leaves fiction writers.
Keeping that in mind, time to retool the question.
Are fiction writers all insane?
Well, fiction writers have to be detached from reality, I think. Otherwise, they would likely not be able to come up with good ideas or "spins" on old concepts. But does that make them batshit insane? Is the picture below the face of the typical, hardcore fiction writer?
It is an interesting idea, and an even more intriguing concept.
Is it madness?
I can understand the use of the phrase above in the Philippines. Artistic pursuits are looked upon with extreme disfavor by this country, unless you're a singer or actress. Even then, you're admired less for your art and more for...well, your visual (or comedic) appeal. However, other countries are not so inherently anti-artist in their culture, yet the phrase persists anyway. Writers are considered to have some sort of mental defect that inspires both envy and terror in other people. Writers are automatically seen to be very intelligent, well-read, and knowledgeable, but at the same time, they are stereotyped to me just this side of insane, not really "normal" in the social sense, and probably not that adept in the socio-cultural graces of others their age. I realize this is a bad stereotype, but the sad truth is, it wouldn't have become a stereotype if there wasn't some sort of evidence for it.
Do writers have to be detached from reality, even by just a small degree, to write effectively? It seems a little excessive, but there is a grain of truth to it. That is, if you include the common perception and acceptance of things as aspects of reality at large. Using this as a backdrop, then a little detachment can be useful in providing the observations and ideas that writers put forth in their work. However, this does not explain non-fiction and technical writers. Technical writers are exempt from this, as the common perception of technical writer is someone who is a little too obsessed with a specific field, such as computers or physics. Non-fiction, in theory, is also exempt, but for different reasons. Which leaves fiction writers.
Keeping that in mind, time to retool the question.
Are fiction writers all insane?
Well, fiction writers have to be detached from reality, I think. Otherwise, they would likely not be able to come up with good ideas or "spins" on old concepts. But does that make them batshit insane? Is the picture below the face of the typical, hardcore fiction writer?
It is an interesting idea, and an even more intriguing concept.
Wednesday, September 05, 2007
When September Ends
Before anything, this:
Now, moving on...
I really don't have much to talk about. I've been brushing up on my regional politics, if only to make a better estimate of what might happen if China becomes the leading country in SE Asia. I can imagine that the loss of control would be a nasty surprise for the US, particularly if economic ties with China weaken those same ties with America. Oh, happy day!
I've finally progressed to Chapter 23 of Darkness & Stars, though I may have to come back to Chapter 22 at some point. It feels a little void of something, but I'm not sure what. I'm sure it'll come to me eventually, so I'll just leave it as it is for now. However, as for my other project, I don't even know what it should be anymore.
More on that later. For now, I sleep as I attempt to fight a nasty cough & cold.
Late, Late Edit:
Folks, I know that I'll be the first to admit that my memories of Intelligraph Corporation are tainted by a sense of bitterness, I have come to realize a few things. Yes, the management sucked more than even the worst crack-whore. Yes, I do acknowledge that Gene Cruz's management style was probably outlined for him by the aforementioned crack-whore. Yes, I will admit that writing and business are two fields that should not be made to mix with one another. Yes, I will admit that writing as if part of some sort of a twisted production line is bad for creativity. However, I will also admit now that it has given me...for lack of a better word, discipline.
Make no mistake about it, this is not praise for the management style. This is praise for the harsh working conditions that we all had to endure. Like the warriors of Sparta, working at that Hell-hole of a company trained me to think faster and write faster, which has come in handy. It didn't train me to be more creative, but that's an impossibility. It also taught me that if you're trying to make writing into your career, you're liable to go insane. Also, if you already are insane, then you've got very little to worry about.
However, this post by a good friend reminded me of what mattered most to me during my tenure there: the people.
I am not a people person. Ask anyone who's known me prior to my working with them in the office and you'll get that. I simply don't like people. I'm not fond of how inefficient they seem, how they remind me of social norms and mores I have to adhere to, how they blindly follow the misinterpreted teachings of a dead Jew, and a thousand other things. However, I have a tendency, a weakness that makes me like certain individuals. No matter what office or company I go to, I always manage to find an individual or two who I genuinely enjoy spending time with.
It's a complicated thing.
I will genuinely miss the people I worked with at the ol' TCS department. And Ambergris. And ePLDT. And TeleTech. Oddly, I doubt that I'll miss the people I spent my college and grade school years with, for reasons that are diametrically opposed but related to memory nonetheless. High school is...an odd question. Ah, but this is about May and Ja-Ja and Miss Marilou and Miss Leslie and R-Con and so many others, so let me get back to them.
I can't say I had a deep seated personal connection to any one of them, likely from lack of trying. But the time I spent there with them, fighting in the trenches of the Eastern front, made us comrades-in-arms of sorts. To this day, I'd trust few other people to critique my work aside from my fellow Intelligraph Writers. I'm open to having them read it, but the only serious suggestions I'd listen to would come from the old TCS division.
Part of me is sad at the news that a whole bunch of them are going. Part of me thinks it isn't right, that they've been there and endured, and should continue to do so. But most of me understands that they have to move on, to seek greener pastures. There was, after all, only so much that I could be expected to endure from the dumb-ass boss. It follows suit that they also had their limits, though the backs of their camels were broken by that fatal straw and not hammered down. It makes me feel...melancholic to hear that they're all splitting up and finding new places to go, new offices to inhabit, and new things to write about.
Don't get me wrong, I'm happy to know that they're all getting (or will get) the rest they deserve. But I am a touch unhappy at the idea that it won't be a group thing. Cheesy as it may sound, I don't think I ever really blended in with the people I worked with as well as I did back there. Sure, that sounds like an odd way to describe me, the strangest writer the company has likely ever had, but that's how it felt for me. I've never felt so integrated into an office as back then, due entirely to the people I worked with and not the people I worked for.
An odd feeling, that.
Well, for now, I look to the crimson sunset and ponder. I suppose the only thing I can really say to my former comrades is this:
"Let them throw at us what they will. We have endured far worse."
Also, if School Days fails to have a bloody, gory ending, I will be severely disappointed, possibly even homicidal in the Higurashi no Naku Koro ni way.
Take the Magic: The Gathering 'What Color Are You?' Quiz.
Now, moving on...
I really don't have much to talk about. I've been brushing up on my regional politics, if only to make a better estimate of what might happen if China becomes the leading country in SE Asia. I can imagine that the loss of control would be a nasty surprise for the US, particularly if economic ties with China weaken those same ties with America. Oh, happy day!
I've finally progressed to Chapter 23 of Darkness & Stars, though I may have to come back to Chapter 22 at some point. It feels a little void of something, but I'm not sure what. I'm sure it'll come to me eventually, so I'll just leave it as it is for now. However, as for my other project, I don't even know what it should be anymore.
More on that later. For now, I sleep as I attempt to fight a nasty cough & cold.
Late, Late Edit:
Folks, I know that I'll be the first to admit that my memories of Intelligraph Corporation are tainted by a sense of bitterness, I have come to realize a few things. Yes, the management sucked more than even the worst crack-whore. Yes, I do acknowledge that Gene Cruz's management style was probably outlined for him by the aforementioned crack-whore. Yes, I will admit that writing and business are two fields that should not be made to mix with one another. Yes, I will admit that writing as if part of some sort of a twisted production line is bad for creativity. However, I will also admit now that it has given me...for lack of a better word, discipline.
Make no mistake about it, this is not praise for the management style. This is praise for the harsh working conditions that we all had to endure. Like the warriors of Sparta, working at that Hell-hole of a company trained me to think faster and write faster, which has come in handy. It didn't train me to be more creative, but that's an impossibility. It also taught me that if you're trying to make writing into your career, you're liable to go insane. Also, if you already are insane, then you've got very little to worry about.
However, this post by a good friend reminded me of what mattered most to me during my tenure there: the people.
I am not a people person. Ask anyone who's known me prior to my working with them in the office and you'll get that. I simply don't like people. I'm not fond of how inefficient they seem, how they remind me of social norms and mores I have to adhere to, how they blindly follow the misinterpreted teachings of a dead Jew, and a thousand other things. However, I have a tendency, a weakness that makes me like certain individuals. No matter what office or company I go to, I always manage to find an individual or two who I genuinely enjoy spending time with.
It's a complicated thing.
I will genuinely miss the people I worked with at the ol' TCS department. And Ambergris. And ePLDT. And TeleTech. Oddly, I doubt that I'll miss the people I spent my college and grade school years with, for reasons that are diametrically opposed but related to memory nonetheless. High school is...an odd question. Ah, but this is about May and Ja-Ja and Miss Marilou and Miss Leslie and R-Con and so many others, so let me get back to them.
I can't say I had a deep seated personal connection to any one of them, likely from lack of trying. But the time I spent there with them, fighting in the trenches of the Eastern front, made us comrades-in-arms of sorts. To this day, I'd trust few other people to critique my work aside from my fellow Intelligraph Writers. I'm open to having them read it, but the only serious suggestions I'd listen to would come from the old TCS division.
Part of me is sad at the news that a whole bunch of them are going. Part of me thinks it isn't right, that they've been there and endured, and should continue to do so. But most of me understands that they have to move on, to seek greener pastures. There was, after all, only so much that I could be expected to endure from the dumb-ass boss. It follows suit that they also had their limits, though the backs of their camels were broken by that fatal straw and not hammered down. It makes me feel...melancholic to hear that they're all splitting up and finding new places to go, new offices to inhabit, and new things to write about.
Don't get me wrong, I'm happy to know that they're all getting (or will get) the rest they deserve. But I am a touch unhappy at the idea that it won't be a group thing. Cheesy as it may sound, I don't think I ever really blended in with the people I worked with as well as I did back there. Sure, that sounds like an odd way to describe me, the strangest writer the company has likely ever had, but that's how it felt for me. I've never felt so integrated into an office as back then, due entirely to the people I worked with and not the people I worked for.
An odd feeling, that.
Well, for now, I look to the crimson sunset and ponder. I suppose the only thing I can really say to my former comrades is this:
"Let them throw at us what they will. We have endured far worse."
Also, if School Days fails to have a bloody, gory ending, I will be severely disappointed, possibly even homicidal in the Higurashi no Naku Koro ni way.
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