And though I had slain a thousand foes less one,
The thousandth knife found my liver;
The thousandth enemy said to me,
'Now you shall die,
Now none shall know.'
And the fool, looking down, believed this,
Not seeing, above his shoulders, the naked stars,
Each one remembering.
--John M. Ford, The Final Reflection

The Asylum Director

My photo
"The only thing I was fit for was to be a writer, and this rested solely on my suspicion that I would never be fit for real work, and that writing didn't require any." - Russel Baker

Monday, March 31, 2008

Magic: The Gathering Nostalgia Moment

If you've never played Magic: The Gathering in your life, ignore this post.

I haven't played this old game in years. Years. I also haven't seen my favorite deck build (at the top of my game, I had seven), my old discarder, in years. I kind of miss it, seeing as how it could easily beat the living daylights out of virtually any other deck that my brother has now. Although, being an ancient thing, I think it due a bit of an upgrade. Missing as it is, I decided to just try and remember as much about it as I could and fill in the holes with newer stuff.

Here's what I came up with.

3 Wrench Mind
2 black, sorcery
Target player discards two cards unless he or she discards an artifact card.


4 Hymn To Tourach
2 black, sorcery
Target player discards two cards at random.


4 Stupor
2 colorless, 1 black, sorcery
Target opponent discards a card at random, then discards a card.


3 Coercion
2 colorless, 1 black, sorcery
Target opponent reveals his or her hand. Choose a card from it. That player discards that card.


2 Mindstab
5 colorless, 1 black, sorcery
Target player discards three cards.
Suspend 4-Black Mana (Rather than play this card from your hand, you may pay Black Mana and remove it from the game with four time counters on it. At the beginning of your upkeep, remove a time counter. When the last is removed, play it without paying its mana cost.)


2 Bottomless Pit
1 colorless, 2 black, enchantment
At the beginning of each player's upkeep, that player discards a card at random.


3 Megrim
2 colorless, 1 black, enchantment
Whenever an opponent discards a card, Megrim deals 2 damage to that player.


1 Maga, Traitor to Mortals
X colorless, 3 black, legendary creature - Human Wizard
Maga, Traitor to Mortals comes into play with X +1/+1 counters on it.
When Maga comes into play, target player loses life equal to the number of +1/+1 counters on it.


1 Havoc Demon
5 colorless, 2 black, creature - Demon
Flying
When Havoc Demon is put into a graveyard from play, all creatures get -5/-5 until end of turn.


4 Dark Ritual
1 black, instant
Add 3 black to your mana pool.


4 Hypnotic Specter
1 colorless, 2 black, creature - Specter
Flying
Whenever Hypnotic Specter deals damage to an opponent, that player discards a card at random.


4 Terror
1 colorless, 1 black, instant
Destroy target nonartifact, nonblack creature. It can't be regenerated.


2 Knight of Dusk
1 colorless, 2 black, creature - Human Knight
2 black: Destroy target creature blocking Knight of Dusk.


2 Damnation
2 colorless, 2 black, sorcery
Destroy all creatures. They can't be regenerated.


1 Feldon's Cane
1 colorless, artifact
Tap, Remove Feldon's Cane from the game: Shuffle your graveyard into your library.


I haven't considered what would be good sideboard cards yet, though.

Thursday, March 27, 2008

[this space intentionally left blank]

Behold! A new religion is born!

The Church Of Google!

There is nothing I can say about this that would adequately do the very idea of this justice, so let me just take something right off of their site.
We at the Church of Google believe the search engine Google is the closest humankind has ever come to directly experiencing an actual God (as typically defined). We believe there is much more evidence in favor of Google's divinity than there is for the divinity of other more traditional gods.

We reject supernatural gods on the notion they are not scientifically provable. Thus, Googlists believe Google should rightfully be given the title of "God", as She exhibits a great many of the characteristics traditionally associated with such Deities in a scientifically provable manner.


Yes, I know the whole thing is patently ridiculous, but that's what makes it so much fun. Besides, the whole thing is infinitely more believable than the crockery known as the Cult of $cientology.

Seriously. There's a lot of crockery in this whole Church of Google (or Church of Anything, really) idea, but that pales in comparison to the stuff that the average Scientologist actually believes.

Monday, March 24, 2008

Confessions Of A Digital Packrat

If there's one thing I genuinely dread about Windows XP, it has to be that little balloon message that pops up to warn me that I'm running out of hard drive space.

If there's one thing that annoys me more about Windows XP, it has to be that little balloon message that pops up to warn me that I'm running out of hard drive space.

Sakura, my laptop, has been in service since my late college years. She's stood by me through a lot of crap, has been the victim of numerous late-night sessions playing Baldur's Gate II, and has endured about as much software-related abuse as I could be bothered to think of. But she has never, ever warned me that I was running out of hard drive space to dump all my files in. Until recently.

Her poor, overloaded 40GB hard drive is almost full, mostly from downloaded anime and various pieces of software that I only rarely use to their full functionality. I've got about 10MB to 30MB worth of space remaining. So, with the help of my 80GB external hard drive, Mint, I decided to alleviate some of Sakura's burden. I moved my installers, my files, my personal projects, and whatever else I could afford to into Mint's space. I left only the downloaded anime, which still eats up more space than I'd like. Incidentally, that would explain my willingness to purchase DVDs of the series on my disk, even if I'd already watched them.

So much space was being taken up that I needed to move my collection of pictures (all 5.something GB worth) into a separate 8GB flash drive, and my work-related files to a 1GB flash drive. The bigger of the two is newer, and I haven't decided whether or not to name her Milan or Venice, after the cities in Italy. As for the 1GB, Tsukasa is chugging along just fine since she doesn't have too much stored in her. None of it is even really critical to me.

But this process of moving files from one end to another, and trying to make sense of it all, has prompted me to explore the inner recesses of my laptop, my external hard drive, and my three flash drives. It turns out that Sakura, Mint, 8GB, Tsukasa, and Haruhi (my 512MB MP3 player/flash drive) all contained random files that I've left lying around for a long, long, long time. One of them even had a copy of my first resume from way back in my pre-Sakura college days, when my PC was a desktop I so remorselessly named Madoka. I wasn't too shocked by finding files that are older than Sakura herself on my computer, but I was rather surprised that I didn't delete any of said files - even the ones that could not possibly have been of any use to me then, let alone now.

I have a distinct inability to let go of files once they've made it to my computer. Things from work, random notes, weird pictures, and whatnot. I let them all slowly pile up until they become a massive folder worth of digital clutter. Even then I can't bring myself to get rid of it. Sure, my desktop only has two columns of icons and they're mostly shortcuts, but don't let that fool you. Inside Mint are several folders, with folders within those folders, and folders within those folders. My collection of data can easily be considered the digital equivalent of one of those Russian doll things. The way the files inside (apart from the pictures) are organized makes about as much sense as a game of Mao.

My inability to get rid of my files means that, even if I have a lot of external storage media now, it is only a matter of time before I end up needing more. Even at this stage, with a total of around 21 or so GB of free space across all of my storage media, I'm planning to purchase a 250GB hard drive to serve as my primary storage.

I give it 20 years before I need even more space than that, but I can't be too sure.

Monday, March 17, 2008

Massugu Go!


I've been known to watch more anime than is healthy for me. It has gotten to the point where most of it stops having any sort of effect on me, even when it tries so damn hard to. It might have something to do with how themes that are common threads of real life are presented in worlds that are as far from real as can be imagined. That's not saying that there are no shows that can affect me as intended. Far from it. However, the ones that can do that tend to be a truly, truly short list. There's the mind-fuck that is Shin Seiki Evangelion, for one. Grave of the Fireflies is another, even if I can't bring myself to watch it more than once a year.

But these things have one thing in common: negativity. I watch these shows and I get the overwhelming impression that they're built from the ground up to affect viewers negatively, to bring out emotions like despair and depression, to build up a cloud of gloom and doom. In fact, some of the most moving or affecting of shows relied heavily on negativity. Higurashi no Naku Koro ni relied on shock value and horror at the thought of people turning into monstrous-but-cunning killers, along with showing the slow descent of the person's mind such that their actions actually start to look reasonable from the right angle, for one thing. However, very few anime that focuses more on the positive aspects of life are really all that powerful, emotionally speaking.

Until I watched Gakuen Utopia Manabi Straight! that is.

For the unaware, the show is 12 episodes filled with high school girls trying to put together a fun, memorable school festival --- the last one their school will ever have. Why this is positive and uplifting, when this is an otherwise mundane and dull concept, requires explanation.

The show takes place in the not-so-near future, where birth rates have declined such that there are very few students. It gets even worse when you learn that many students prefer to make a living, rather than study. This leaves most of the schools underpopulated, and the few kids that choose to study rather than work find it depressing and dull. Even more so than normal school, anyway. School activities are slowly being removed one by one, largely due to student apathy and lack of participation. Some schools are even shutting down due to lack of actual students.

The show's setting, Seioh High School, is no different. Until Amamiya Manami comes along.

The show revolves around Manami (nicknamed Manabi) and the other members (official and otherwise) of the student council. Initially, it just consists of her and another character, Mika Inamori (nicknamed Mikan). The core of the plot revolves around Manabi and Mikan trying to get Seioh's student population to actually care. It starts off with little things, like Manabi becoming student council president by singing the school's anthem, which resonates deeply in the student body. She eventually gets them to help renovate the student council office, which had sort of turned into an overgrown storage closet with boxes much older than any of the students being somewhere in it. All of this is because she triggers something in them that hasn't been alive in a long, long time: school spirit.

However, the whole "put together a school festival that everyone can enjoy" premise is really little more than a vehicle for the show to focus on the five main characters.



Each of the Manabi girls has their own quirks and personalities, making them easily distinct from one another. Whether they're distinct from other anime characters of the type is arguable. The real heart of the show, and the aspect that really pulls on the heart strings, is how we get to watch how the friendship between the girls develops and grows over time. This is no mean feat to make believable, largely because they're all so different from one another.

Manabi is hyperactive and energetic, but almost completely unreliable on a practical level. Mikan is shy and withdrawn, lacking confidence in herself. Mucchi is a tomboy, more interested in sports and physical activities, and not much else. Momo is just plain strange, and anyone who's seen the show will likely enjoy a chuckle or two when they hear the words "Made in China." And then there's Mei, who starts off as your average "looks cold, but is actually quite shy" girl that eventually learns to accept friendship from those around her.

Friendship and being able to develop lifelong bonds with people that you barely share anything with, I feel, lies at the heart of the show' appeal. This is perhaps best expressed in a few key scenes and characters. While seemingly small, the dialog shared by Mucchi and Mikan in the Miss Donut shop reveals much about the relationships of the characters. Fundamentally, they share very little in common, but have become such close friends over the course of the series that the prospect of geographical distance separating them doesn't worry them in the least. Of particular highlight here are two characters Mika "Mikan" Inamori and Mei "Mee-chan" Etoh.

Mikan, over the course of the show, grows from an insecure girl with no confidence to someone who is willing to break her own boundaries and explores a world completely alien to her own by studying in America. She gains confidence in herself, granting her an inner strength that was absent at the start. This is best exemplified by moments of her doubting herself and her bond with her friends gradually fading throughout the series, such that she does not fear losing her friendship with Manabi, Momo, Mucchi, or Mei by going to America.

Mei is a different case. She begins the series cold and aloof, preferring to just walk on by whenever someone greets her. This isn't because of genuine coldness, but an intense shyness and unwillingness to befriend people due to negative experiences in the past. Over the course of the series, she comes to accept offers of friendship and learns to trust in those around her. Manabi stated that she believed Mei was capable of earning more money than she needed by using her skills, but was at school because she was looking for something. Whereas she started the series avoiding taking on any sort of authoritative position because she fears being burdened with taking on everyone's responsibilities, she eventually comes to a position in the student council after realizing that Manabi and the others had been what she'd been seeking all along.

I don't normally go around suggesting anime on this blog. If I have, it has been a long, long time since I did so. Even rarer are the times when I say that any given show is something that must be watched. I can unequivocally recommend Gakuen Utopia Manabi Straight! though. The show doesn't have a whole lot in terms of plot depth, but the dialog and the characters give this show a life and vibrancy that you can't find in a whole lot of shows nowadays. The theme of friendship and the bond between the characters is very touching at several moments, and it just might remind you of what it means to have a truly treasured friend.

And just because I can and because she's my favorite character, a picture of Mei.


So for now, I leave you with the words that, while simple, have proven to be the driving force behind the show, and the condensed representation of the optimism and hope that underline the show.

Massugu Go!

Thursday, March 06, 2008

Something To Make You Think

As I was going to St. Ives,
I met a man with seven wives,
And every wife had seven sacks,
And every sack had seven cats,
And every cat had seven kits,
Kits, cats, sacks, wives,
How many were going to St. Ives?


Just a little something I picked up.

Wednesday, March 05, 2008

Points Of Reflection

Someone once told me that I really wouldn't be who I am if I didn't have a healthy dose of what she called "restrained arrogance." Looking back, maybe she was right. I can, when in my element, be a complete bastard, and a cocky one at that. Even the people that know me the best wouldn't be able to tell that I spend most of my days reviewing and analyzing the past, trying to find glimpses of interest or wisdom from it. I've found that history repeats itself all too often in the arena of interpersonal relationships, so I might as well make use of my past and try to learn a few things from it.

Which, oddly, brings us to this post. I got to reviewing things while I was looking over my history of posts and felt like it was time for me to finally recognize the little gems I've had over time. The posts that actually meant something to me and were not random spills from my constantly leaky thought-faucet. I've made some rather scathing posts in the past, hopefully balanced by the occasionally useful bit of insight into human nature. Or this could all just be an exercise in arrogance and cockiness, whichever you prefer. Whatever the case, I've decided to waste a few minutes of my time looking up some of my favorite posts from the past, along with the ones that have garnered some measure of...reputation.

From oldest to newest:

Gripe #2 Goodbye Wave 3.3
Gripe #6 Thank You For Calling Circuit City Direct?
Gripe #7 Hum Of The Corporate Machine
The Good, The Bad, And The Ugly
To Be Earned
First Thoughts: EduNara
Gripe #8 One For The Old Guard
Obsession
Happy, Happy People
Cry. Scream. Die. Rinse. Repeat.
Remembering High School
BS From The Boss
I'm Unemployed. Again.
Elegy For A Perfect Rose
We Are Little More Than Whores Of The Capitalist Machine
Contemplating Suicide
To Slay The Beast
Writer's Block
Gripe #10 Down With The People!
Seems Like I Missed Something Here
Madness And The Art
The Mad Scribe's Musing On "The Art"
Old Friends, New Ideas
Of Personableness (Or Lack Thereof)
New Year, Old Blog
Gripe #13 A Return To Corporate Exploitation
Rules For Breaking Up