So I Just Watched...

Gone With The Wind.

And, despite all the accolades and praises this movie has gotten, the only thing I can bring myself to say about it is that...well, it starts off dreadfully BORING. Don't get me wrong, business picks up after the first hour or so, but it starts off so slowly that I almost fell asleep. And I know a lot of fans of this movie will be very displeased with this comment and will likely be attempting to argue with me about how the first part of it is anything but dull, and this is what I have to say to them:

Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn.

I Like This Build

As many of you have already come to realize, I like the Magic color black a little bit too much for my own good. I'm also the type to lean more into an aggressive, quick strategy than one that revolves more around how two cards interact or on playing defense until very late in the game. In short, I prefer aggro over control or combo. Not just any type of aggro, though. I like my aggro fast and able to deliver a lot of pressure quickly and reliably. With that in mind, I set about to build a type of deck that has, sadly, faded from the face of the Magic competitive scene: black weenie.

The archetype has been around since the beginning, with cards like Black Knight and Dark Ritual. However, it slowly faded out or was adapted into other forms because small black creatures didn't have the same quality that white, green, or red did. Blue is an entirely different matter, but only recently has mono-blue weenie really been a viable alternative. Shows how different things are in the current environment, I suppose. Anyway. I know black weenie isn't the competitive monster archetype that it used to be, and that builds like Eva Green and Suicide Black are more modern evolutions of it, but I'm stubborn.

So anyway, my current build on MWS, which I have affectionately nicknamed Kotonoha Katsura:

Lands:
18 Swamp

Spells:
4 Thoughtseize
4 Duress
3 Cursed Scroll
4 Dark Ritual
3 Bonesplitter
2 Liliana Vess

Creatures:
4 Black Knight
4 Nantuko Shade
4 Hypnotic Specter
4 Dauthi Slayer
4 Mourning Thrull
2 Ashling the Extinguisher

It isn't the best deck in the world, but I've come to like this build a lot and I think it's a relatively solid weenie deck. I'd love to find a way to stick Hunted Horror into the deck, however. A 7/7 trample 2-drop is just too good to not include if I can find an easy way around the drawback without having to go into other colors.

This.

A serial killer who died more than a decade ago is the person who decapitated the 6-year-old son of "America's Most Wanted" host John Walsh in 1981, police in Florida said Tuesday. The announcement brought to a close a case that has vexed the Walsh family for more than two decades, launched the television show about the nation's most notorious criminals and inspired changes in how authorities search for missing children.

This made me smile. John Walsh and his family deserve this closure.

You're Beneath Me

Call center agents, for what it's worth, are generally decent, hard-working, honest people. I should know, I've worked with many of them and have been one myself. However, I learned a while ago that each call center breeds a different type of agent. Hell, even separate accounts within a single company can breed drastically different types of agents. Completely different animals, as it were. And 'animals' is a very, very appropriate term for the breed that works where I am.

We've already firmly established these people are complete slobs. They're also lying slobs, frequently blaming their messes on the dayshift IT people. Even with photographic evidence and eyewitness testimonial from IT and tech support people, they still have the gall and the audacity to pin the blame on us.

But let's not dwell on that flaw when we can discuss their apparent "air of superiority," not to mention their over-possessiveness of their stations. Or their lack of a sense of time.

You see, the typical call center agent in Ascend Asia's other division (not the one that is currently relocated; they seem like decent enough people) are a bunch of...well, animals. They have this tendency to act like they own the computers they're using for work and treat their stations as such. Sure, it's fine to personalize their stations a little, but don't you think it can be a bit much when you're actually claiming literal ownership? Especially since the real owners saw fit to let the IT people use those computers during the day?

News flash: These are not your personal property, folks. You're not even paying rent on them. You're just being allowed to use them to accomplish your tasks for work. The company didn't give them to you, and it is theirs to do with as they please. And it pleases them to let us use them until the computers taken by the NBI are returned or replaced appropriately. Deal with it.

Here's another bit of information you may want to get through to your thick skulls: when your shift is over and there's no mandatory meeting or anything, you're supposed to get the fuck out of the office. Isn't it common courtesy, common decency to leave when you know that the people next in line for using those computers are there, waiting, and are already starting their work at least half an hour late because you refuse to leave ON. FUCKING. TIME?

The fact is, we've already had our shift moved down an hour - with all the serious effects that has on commute time and sleep schedules - and we're still starting our work later than we should. All because these agents can't get it through their thick skulls that, Hello, you're not alone anymore and you have to act like decent human beings for once in your miserable lives. More on this at a later date.

No, you don't get any right to complain when we do about your sloppy habits, your dirty computers, and your lack of common courtesy when leaving. You don't get to act like you own the place and tell us we have no right to ask you to go. You don't even have any right to tell us off when we make you get the fuck out. Your shift is over and other people need those PCs, so act like the mature human beings you're supposed to be and leave, dipshits.

So here's a message from me and the other disgruntled members of the IT department, and I'll say it in Filipino, so the agent's simple minds can actually process it without having to strain themselves in the process:

"Wag kang aangas-angas. Agent ka lang."






* This post has been brought to you by the IT division (SEO, Voice Logs, Writers, Web Design, etc.).

It's That Time Of Year Again

No, not the ridiculously overblown Christmas season. The day after my birthday. I feel old. Positively ancient.

Methinks The Agents Doth Protest Too Much...

For a few days now, we've been sharing space with the night shift agents of a different division of the company I'm in. There are a few policies and rules that are standard between our divisions. No bringing in personal items into the work floor, no bringing in food, and other things. Yet, almost the day after we started using their computers during the day, our night-time superiors were bombarded with complaints from the agents about us being "dirty," "messy," "sloppy," and generally messing with their things.

I think the agents protest too much, especially considering we're largely NOT GUILTY.

The agents, however, are.

Exhibit A:

Wrappers for a local salted nuts snack. Found under an agent's desk the moment I got into the office, right after they left. With no time for anyone from my division (IT) to have eaten it and put it there. Therefore, logic dictates that the agent did it.

Want to see what was on the agent's desk? Let me show you Exhibit B:

Well, what was on his desk? Junk. Lots of it. There was a book in there, and it looked not so worn. Probably doesn't get read very often. There were papers there, and a couple of chocolate wafer things. No wonder it was infested with ants.

But enough about someone else's desk. Let's take a look at the stuff on the one that was on mine. Now, the agent who used the computer I used was pretty clean, and did not seem like the type to have food or personal items. In fact, all the agent had was a plastic envelope of what may or may not be work-related documents. And straws from a fast food join.

Yes, straws.


But of course, there's one agent that takes the cake. He sits at one of the ends of the row of cubile-like desks we use. His desk looks relatively clean and orderly, until you take a closer look.

You see, his desk, his keyboard, and his Avaya-like thing is infested with ants. Infested.


And this agent I have a name for folks, as he proudly displayed it near his ant-infested desk.


So please, call center agents, before you go calling the dayshift IT people messy, why not take a look in the mirror and fix yourself first, hmm?

In Pursuit Of Perfect Black Aggro

As I was digging through my files the other day, I stumbled upon the folder named "Decks" under my Magic Workstation directory.

For the unaware, Magic Workstation is a piece of software that allows people to play Magic on the Internet without having to play via Wizards of the Coast's own system, Magic Online. Completely free, the updated database has all the expansions (up to the latest releases), and easy to use. The only real hassle is how damn long it takes to get all the art for the cards. But enough of that. I was digging through my files, found the folder for the decks I've made in it, and realized something.

I've made close to 50 of them.

And, for the most part, they're the kind of decks I'd make if I could afford to actually buy the cards. Or if I could find them. So hard finding older cards nowadays, with Wizards preferring to focus on promoting and supporting the "Standard" tournament environment, which includes only the latest of sets and the latest "core edition." This is "Type 2" for us older players, who were around and active prior to the ridiculously large number of expansions that came out - and the ridiculous amount of abilities, mechanics, keywords, rules changes, and whatnot that came with them. I also have a few people I play with online, and many of them are the type to experiment with different decks or themes. In other words, I am having fun with the game again.

And, fortunately, I actually have almost all the art. I'm just missing art for some promotional cards, but I have the ones I want. Oddly, I got into Magic because of the artwork on the cards. I left because there was nobody left to play with by the time I left for college. Now, though, both "concerns" have been answered.

I don't win a lot, but I have a decent ratio. And I get an odd sense of satisfaction when I make other players go "What the fuck?" after I do something utterly unconventional. With that in mind, I'm oddly focused on one particular build: black aggro, or sometimes known as suicide black.

Black has always been one of my favored colors. I don't know why, really, but it appeals to me. The color also gives me a wide range of options for the type of deck I have in mind, but making it all fit in a 60-card deck without sacrificing the chances of me drawing them is tough. I have a total of five variations on black aggro on MWS, and will likely end up building more in time. I'm just not fully satisfied with their speed, power, and even their raw offensive capacity.

Playing on the Internet has somehow re-invigorated my desire to upgrade my own real-life decks, as odd as that might sound. Maybe it's because I've been exposed to some good cards thanks to the software. Not sure.

I'll have to ponder that. Eventually.

But for now, I pursue the perfect blend of speed, power, and defense in my pursuit of the perfect black aggro deck.

A Short Piece

Dedicated to my mother, whom I have lived in constant terror of all my life.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Helena looked at Alicia’s expression and, instantly, she realized something was woefully amiss.

There was a smile on her face. A genuine, bright smile.

The instant that the image had been processed and the realization took hold, she decided to figure out just what caused such a thing to occur. She looked around the surrounding area first, almost too eager to see if anything was…out of the ordinary. Nothing looked to be different or altered among the more visible fixtures of the room.

The small TV was where it was usually perched, across the room and largely untouched. Helena had only seen it in use a few times since Alicia moved into the condo unit they shared. It was largely left to occupy space or gather dust rather than be put to use.

The bed was a mess, with the sheets just barely being on it and the pillows in disarray. There were bits of brown smattered across the summer colors of the sheets, little chips of paint feeling from the floor and sticking to Alicia’s bare feet. The unused TV’s remote was there too, lying on the bed. In other words, nothing changed there either.

The laptop, which Alicia had named ‘Kaguya’ as soon as it was taken home, sat flat on the desk it usually occupied. It wasn’t on with a few programs running, but nothing seemed out of the ordinary or strange. Helena learned long ago that Alicia had a tendency to leave ‘Kaguya’ on if she had something to do that interrupted whatever it was she was up to on the laptop. Either that or she was downloading something. The fact that it was on despite not being used, therefore, was not at all strange.

It was then that she saw a strange new addition to the darkened room’s usual empty dreariness: another human being.

“Well, I’ll be going now,” the new person said as he turned for the door, towards Helena.

“Yeah,” Alicia said. The smile, Helena noted, had not faded. “Thanks for the good news.”

Once the door was closed, Helena let her curiosity get the better of her. “Excuse me,” she began, “who are you?”

He gave her a mildly annoyed look, and then sighed. “I’m her brother.”

“Do you mind if I ask you a few questions?”

Again, he shot the annoyed look, but again he seemed to just accept her inquiry as inevitability. “Fine, go ahead.”

“Well, I’ve been living with her for about two years now, and I’ve never seen her so happy,” she said. “In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever seen her happy.”

He paused for a moment, as if letting the answer roll around in his head. Then, with a look of what Helena believed was both apathy and resignation in his eyes, he spoke. “You know what life is like when, from a very young age, you learn that you’re terrified, absolutely mortified by the mere presence of someone that’s supposed to make you feel safe?”

Helena blinked, but didn’t respond.

“Alicia and I learned to put on masks, to pretend not to care, to just let things slide off our shoulders like dust. It wasn’t something we wanted to learn, but it sort of became a required skill for survival.”

He paused, as if what he said had stirred up something inside him.

“We couldn’t let our real personalities show, and I think, for her, the mask killed who she really was, could be,” he said as he looked at the closed door. “Her emotions came along for the ride. She learned to kill the real ones and cultivate the false ones, pruning and trimming, grooming them like a bonsai tree.”

Helena kept silent, still uncertain what to say.

“We learned to fake sincerity and became inordinately proficient at it, too. We’d display the appropriate emotions at the appropriate times, and we’d be absolutely convincing while doing it. All the while, we kept the only real emotion we felt hidden from everyone but us. Let it take root, you could say.”

“What…was it?”

“Terror.”

“I don’t understand. What does that have to do with my question?”

“What I told her was good news, and that made her smile. That’s the short answer of it.”

“What was the news, then?”

“Our mother is dead,” he said with a sincere smile. “Which means she can let herself feel emotions again.”

He turned and walked to the door again, but paused briefly before he left.

“She’s free at last.”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Erwin Tulfo: Sensationalist Moron

It is no secret that the "journalist" Erwin Tulfo is a sensationalist moron. This is not a matter of debate, not with numerous libel convictions under his belt. Quite frankly, it would be amazing enough that he's still allowed to go about writing "news," but then I realize I'm in the Philippines and things here suck. Case in point: Erwin Tulfo, a convicted libel journalist that could make the paparazzi seem tame by comparison, is still allowed a column in a newspaper. Granted, it happens to be a tabloid, but still.

I've read the "account" he wrote, mind you. Quite funny, if you ask me. Still, it does come down to his usual sensationalist drivel. He mentions boxes of evidence. Of course the cops would have "evidence" by the box, they took our desktop computers, laptop computers, our servers, and even an LCD TV, you moron. How else would the cops, who gleefully used and took various personal items that happened to be in our workplace, haul them out of our office unjustly? In shopping bags? Let's not forget them taking cables, pliers, various tools for technical support, and even security cameras.

Setting up a computer shop, guys? Or do you just need the cash to support for multiple mistresses that you know you can't afford on your meager salaries? Don't be surprised if the NBI website suddenly gets an upgrade sometime in the near future. Those computers had Photoshop, Dreamweaver, and whatever else they might need to give the site a face-lift, from what I'm told.

(On a somewhat related note: No, I don't really expect the company to get our stuff back. If the company does, it'll likely be damaged beyond repair. It's how the crooks known as the National Bureau of Investigation works, don't you know?)

His article also has an intriguing detail that I can't help but question. You see, the raid conducted by the NBI was done with the assumption that we were using illegal software. Were we? Wouldn't know, seeing as how all we ever seem to use is Ubuntu (a free distribution of Linux) and various free open-source programs. You know, the kind you can buy in various locations? The cheap computer programs that most everyone installs on their home computers. That's the reason the NBI gave, anyway. Yet, despite this fact, he makes references to completely different accusations. Stuff about selling prescription drugs, spamming, credit card fraud, and somesuch garbage. Most intriguing, really. See, none of those things were mentioned as the reason for the raid when the NBI came barging in. So where'd he get the info, hmm?

Now, Ascend Asia does operate an online pharmaceutical website. Incidentally, said website is down since the NBI took our servers. So naturally, we would be selling prescription medications to US citizens. Credit card fraud? Last I heard, we regularly fired anyone caught doing that. It's kind of standard call center procedure, folks. Spamming? Oh, that's a tough one. I'm not sure we stock any delicious canned meat products here. Oh, wait, the moron's talking about e-mail spam, which is an entirely subjective thing. One man's advertising is another man's spam, after all. But as far as I know, we don't spam. And I'd know, considering I work in the department that would theoretically be best-equipped to spam.

He also has the gall - the gall! - to question why the higher-ups of the company were not detained. Okay, so how do you detain the higher-ups of a company when they're overseas, in the US? How about the local ones, he points out. There's evidence, he says. Again, what evidence? They're computers, you sensationalist dipshit. Any evidence of wrongdoing (assuming there is any) would be found on them, and they took close to 100 computers. You think you'll get that kind of information out of that many PCs in one night?

On a related note, they did put people to keep an eye out on one of the local bosses. And no, not even the NBI people keeping an eye on him knew why they had to. He wasn't even "armed and dangerous," like they were told.

But, despite all the logic pointing to Erwin Tulfo being the sensationalist tabloid "journalist" that he is, people will not believe the truth. This is the Philippines, after all. People would prefer to dismiss logic and common sense than deny the possibility that sensationalist, libelous crap is actually false. Go figure.

Of course, he might be in the pocket of one Karl Chua. Who knows?

Post Update

So, here I am, fresh back from that meeting I mentioned in my last post. What happened?

Short story? Some guy was pissed he got fired for stealing money from the customers.

Long story? It all began with a guy who had some middle or lower-management position that was using said position to, basically, get money from the company and the customers of the sales agents. Got fired because he was too stupid to get caught, the moron. So now he's trying to get back at the company for justly firing him. Turns out, he has connections with the cops - which explains the rather excessive raid.

The raid's story itself was rather interesting from how it was told to me. Cops with big guns kicking sliding doors down, holding people and questioning them about things completely unrelated to the apparent charges they said. They took everything, I'm told. Even personal items like someone's jacket, and one truly unlucky guy lost his personal laptop.

Now, work resumes tomorrow. Theoretically, we will attempt to continue as normal. Theoretically.

We'll see.

Note:
Oddly enough, I'm not angry about this at all. I actually don't really care. What I'm mildly annoyed about is that I wasted two vacation days when I wouldn't have needed to report for work anyway.

Job Security

Someone once told me that you can believe as much as you like about what your employer tells you, just never believe anything he says regarding "job security." I see now that she had a very good point.

Recent circumstances have made me suspect there really is no such thing as job security, and even in situations where you're likely not to lose your job, you're still in more danger of becoming unemployed than you can readily imagine. Or accept, one would assume.

Anyway.

I think about this now because, well...because it fits perfectly. Later on today, I will be heading into a "meeting" related to work, and will be meeting with people from work. About as much as a gathering of the members of a small department with their relevant supervisors in a small area would count as a "meeting" of any business sort. What is said there could determine whether or not I still have a job, or if it will simply fade into nothingness sometime soon. Not sure.

It all comes down to unexpected events cropping up and having unexpected effects. It is no secret that the NBI (the local rip-off of the FBI, because everything here is a rip-off of something) has conducted raids on my office before. Something about child porn or piracy or somesuch garbage. It is no secret that, come morning, it had become business as usual for us. We'd hear about it from the ones that went home late, laugh, and continue on. So I find it distinctly alarming that such a case is not applying this time.

We've been raided before, but we've never been informed that we wouldn't have to show up for work because of it before. I find this alarming, as do some of the other co-workers of mine that I've talked to. It is most uncharacteristic behavior, and the relative silence behind it does not enforce any confidence in me.

They're hiding something, naturally. Everybody hides something. And I don't like the implications it might have on my current status.

I don't like keeping my hopes up (I never have, come to think of it), and I've already assumed the worst. All I really need now is some sort of confirmation, verbal or otherwise.

Quantom Of Solace

Yes, I recently watched the latest James Bond movie. Sadly, I left it a little...underwhelmed. Maybe I'm growing soft, or maybe I'm just tired of watching explosions and gunfights, but I just couldn't bring myself to get into the film. Objectively, it was a good movie, and a good Bond film. But for me, personally? I yawned. Twice.

In other news, I love Magic Workstation. All the cards in the game (even up to the latest expansion), but none of the hassle or cost. Just as long as you can find people willing to play with you.

So I Watched...

High School Musical 3: Senior Year.

Fun movie. Not as good as the first one, but definitely much better than the second one. I approve. Although I was kind of hoping of a better ending for Ashley Tisdale's character, Sharpay. She was easily more entertaining than Gabriella, but oddly, I didn't like her as much as I liked Kelsi. But as always, the music is good. I wouldn't expect anything less than that, really.

Stupid Jokes Are Stupid

Some might argue that I have no sense of humor. Indeed, at one point or another, I even considered the possibility myself. But I also find some things funny, which means I do have a sense of humor. Then it came to me. I realized that many of the jokes that people around me laugh at come across as annoying or stupid to me. Which then made me wonder.

Why do I find so many popular jokes stupid?

Mind you, I get why they're supposed to be funny. However, there's a difference between actually finding something funny and knowing why said something is funny. Parody songs, toilet humor, cross-dressing, weird and annoying impersonations of popular children's characters by grown men who have no business doing so, and other things that make people around me laugh just make me groan inwardly and wish they'd shut up. I know why they're supposed to be funny, but I can't, for the life of me, bring myself to laugh.

Is that really so odd?

Not In My Job Description

Maybe it's the laziness in me, or it could be that I'm just so bored that even this I'm willing to actively dislike, but I simply can't bring myself to like a job where I'm being told to do something that I don't think really falls under my job description. I'm the sort of stubborn fool that firmly believes in the elliptical logic that if you were hired to do one thing, paid to do one thing, and are being told to do something that is not the initial thing, then you've got every right to complain.

Yes, I just made sense. Do not question me.

Anyway, as I said. I don't like being told to do things that I don't believe are in my job description. I'm willing to make leeway for modifications of existing tasks, and even quietly accept additional tasks that are related to my previous tasks, but I draw the line when I'm given something that simply is no longer my job.

For now, I'll bloody do it. I'd just like to openly state that I don't get paid enough to put up with this new shit, and my patience has been strained enough recently by work and other factors, thank you very much. Like I said before, I think I finally need to move on and find new work, or at least take a couple of months off as a vacation - a well-deserved one, some might add. We'll wait and see, won't we?

You don't just assign people (an entire division, no less) a bunch of arbitrary tasks that not only take up half of their working hours to complete, but are also well outside what you hired them for. It's like asking a horse to pull a plow - sure, he can do it, but it isn't the task he's supposed to be doing. Not one of us has spoken up about this, naturally. Jobs at risk, and all that. But the thing is, if none of us do, won't they just eventually pile on more bullshit tasks on us? Things that are more than just arguably outside of our responsibilities, as implied by our titles and job descriptions?

At one point, I guess somebody will buck up and say something. Who knows? I sure as Hell hope it won't be me, but then, doesn't my doing this technically count? Bah.

All I can say for certain is that, somewhere down the line, this needs to end. One way or another.

Me? I will endure, and in enduring, grow stronger. That, and maybe focus my attention on better ways to spend my time. Or job-hunting. Whichever. I need to re-design my black aggro from scratch, anyway.

Random Note:
As of today, whenever I am capable of obtaining adequate paper, I'm starting a little project to help me relax. A piece of Japanese folklore I picked up once said that folding 1,000 paper cranes as an offering to the kami will get a person one wish granted. True, I don't believe in the "wish granting" bit, but I'm not about to deny just how relaxing I find folding paper into cranes to be.

I ought to buy one of those origami books one of these days.

Anyway, I think I'll start if off today. Wonder if I'll ever make it to 1,000?

I Think...

...I need to find a new employer.

Everything In Life...

...is about location, location, location.

And right now, I really, really don't like my office's location. I've never liked having to go to work in locations too far from the MRT, and I especially don't like doing that in fucking Makati. I don't like the long walk, the excessive heat I have to endure on the way to work in the morning, and the unbearably slow and unreliable elevators in the building. Now, initially, I wanted to just sit back and see if I could make this ridiculously stupid new location work for me.

I'm almost at the end of my patience.

Granted, it isn't just the new location that's pissed me off. It's a lot of little things, not the least of which is the monotony I alluded to in my last entry. I've made myself stomach as much as I'm ever going to stomach. My natural laziness has made it hard for me to move from this moderately pleasant job, but I think it really is about time that I get the Hell out and find better openings.

Time to go hunting.

Drowning Sharks

Factoid: Sharks can drown. Sharks, with the exception of some species, are unable to float in water. If they stop moving, they tend to sink and drown. The movement of their bodies forces water through their gills, and allows them to breathe. In human terms, if they stop running, they choke to death. Interesting, isn't it?

Moving on, then.

I'm bored.

That's a bad thing.

Work has become a near-mindless repetition of things, and frankly, I'm so sorely tempted to find some way to break it. Options come down to getting into some sort of trouble or risking things and trying to find another job. Either one would provide much more excitement than the status quo. I need something to break up the monotony of work or I'll snap and do something inexplicably stupid, simply because it'll end the boredom for a while.

I can feel my mind starting to slowly rot little by little, possibly from lack of any serious use. I try to get into other projects to occupy my mind, exercise my creature urges, but it doesn't work. The problem with that strategy, you see, is that I might be applying it too late. I don't think I have it in me anymore, as my mind has become as lazy as the body. It's nearly impossible to motivate me to think of anything now.

I need to find some idea to occupy the part of my brain that writes before it rots away completely. As much as I like to blend into the background and go unnoticed, I'd rather not have that at the cost of my writing.

If this sounds familiar, it's because it's happened before. I endured this same problem at Intelligraph when the project assigned to me stuck with me for a little too long. The monotony and familiarity, along with the relentless repetition of the things that my mind works on, eventually left me feeling empty and depressed. Of course, it didn't help that I wanted to do some not-nice things to my former employer.

The situation now is very similar. I've gone past hatred of what I need to write and have managed to progress into outright apathy. I only do my job because it gets me money. I'm not motivated to really put as much effort into it as I should. I barely even really try or care to try any more. The fact is, I just...don't find any interest in this anymore. It feels cut and dry, and while I know the work isn't completely monotonous, it feels that way. By this point, how it feels matters more than the actual situation.

On the bright side, at least I don't hate my employer. Some of my co-workers, on the other hand...I'll refrain from commenting for now.

Honestly, who'd have thought writing for a living would kill my writing skills? I know I didn't expect it.

The creative mind, I think, is like a shark. It needs constant movement --- and the space to move --- or it'll just...well, drown.

Fun Flashes

Link here.
I particularly like the "Suika tries to obtain alcohol" one.

Fiction: Withdrawal

Written by a friend who wishes to remain anonymous. Put up here by request.

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I miss you...

She can barely contain her emotions, but she understands she has to.

She believes letting them out isn't an option. She can only begin to imagine what it'd feel like to openly admit how badly she wants her lover back, to feel that soft touch and taste those supple lips again. She wants to be held, to be touched, to be tasted. But mostly, she just wants her lover back. The sensation, the desire, the overwhelming need gnaws at her constantly. She tries desperately to hold the torrent in, to keep the emotions contained, to hold the line separating the public mask and the real woman behind it.

But you see, it's not quite enough. Nor that simple.

Is she upset? Our last conversation really end so well...

She worries. Worries quite a bit. Worries over the littlest things.

It is in her nature, to be frank about it. She worries and she questions and she doubts. External factors frustrated her last they talked, and she didn't quite realize that she'd ended it on such a sour, mildly unhappy note. She didn't realize until too late that their last conversation was going to be their last for a while. She chides herself, lashes her mind for not realizing how upset her lover seemed at her decision to just end the conversation and leave. She should have seen it, she tells herself.

She's tried to make up for it, of course.

She's sent little things. Private messages on the forums they frequented before she left, numerous e-mail messages, and --- despite the stupidity of it --- messages on her AIM while she was clearly offline. She should have known better. In fact, she did know better. For the next several weeks, she might as well not have existed. Still, stubborn girl that she was, she kept going.

I'm sure she'll appreciate these when she gets back. Won't she?

She keeps writing letters. She keeps sending them. She knows that her lover won't be able to read them yet, won't even know they exist for a few weeks, at the very least. Still, she is stubborn. Still, she is persistent. So she writes and writes and writes, afraid of rambling on and on about the most pointless of topics, yet aware that she needs to keep writing about things. She knows she shouldn't ramble, but she feels that her lover would appreciate a letter that wasn't short and succinct, that the message was long and heartfelt and...well, the right word seemed to escape her.

It didn't matter.

It won't matter what she says, because somewhere, she knows her lover would be pleased to know that she sent something. Anything. It would have kept her lover from feeling lonely, the thought that someone was waiting for her to come back. That someone cared enough and thought about her enough to send messages that might never be read.

Still, she tries so hard not to ramble.

She'll come back. She promised me she'll come back. To me.

She believes it wholeheartedly. Her lover will come back. Sure, things might not be exactly the same as before, but her lover will come back. Her lover will come back, hold her tight and safe, and whisper words in her ears that will mean nothing at all to others, but will mean the world to her. Simply because they came from her lover's precious lips, spoken in her lover's gentle voice.

Yet, sometimes...

Sometimes...

She takes a deep breath, and reminds herself not to falter.


I love you, baby.

She does. She loves with the hopeless devotion and devoted hopelessness that characterizes women so deeply, madly in love. It devours her every thought, taking her attention side by side with memories and images of her lover. She's become used to the contact, to the sharing of attention, to the constant presence. She's accustomed to it, has come to crave the sensation and the truth of being loved.

She tries so hard to hide one awful little fact.

Come back soon, baby. I'm...I'm...

Without you here, I'm...I...

Please. Come back soon. I don't think I can...I'll try to hold it in, but...

Without her lover...

...it hurts without you.

She's falling apart.

Look! A Meme!

Normally, I don't buy into memes (certain exceptions apply, but generally not here), but I've got nothing better to do anyway. So here we go.

(A) Four places I go over and over:

1. Office. - to quote Blink 182: "Work sucks. I know."
2. House. - this ought to be obvious
3. Those 4 malls in Makati that are connected to one another and the MRT station - because, you know, I pass through them every day on the way home
4. Neutral Grounds in Greenhills - Magic: the Gathering. 'Nuff said.



(B) Four people who email me regularly:

1. Jobstreet - a wise man once told me that you should never close all your doors, because opportunity doesn't break into houses
2. The In Nomine Mailing List - because I signed up for it because, you know, I play the game when I have the chance
3. N/A
4. N/A



(C) Four of my favorite places to eat:

1. Pizza Hut - for the pizza
2. Chef d'Angelo. - I like me my pasta
3. Burger King - the steakhouse burger
4. Home - do I have to explain this, or do people understand the value of a home-cooked meal?



(D) Four places I'd rather be:

1. Rome, Italy - the heart of what was once the most dominant empire the Western world has ever seen
2. Kyoto, Japan - because I have always been fascinated by Japanese history and Shinto, and Kyoto is the spiritual center of Japan
3. Paris, France - one place: Notre Dame de Paris
4. The British Museum in Cairo, Egypt - I dabble in Egyptology every once in a while



(E) Four people I think will respond:

1. Not a one. Anyone I know that would respond either already has, or is the one that sent me this in the first place
2. Okay, maybe Digital Buryong, a.k.a. Richard
3.
4.




(F) Four TV shows I could watch over and over:

1. MacGyver - I'm a child of the 80s, and I grew up watching this, so it be nostalgic, mates
2. Mythbusters - fun and educational at the same time, not to mention very interesting
3. Gakuen Utopia Manabi Straight - potentially the most heart-warming show I've seen in a long, long time, and one of the few anime I'd re-watch for fun, rather than to catch details in the animation
4. A toss-up between Farscape and Babylon 5 - perhaps the two best sci-fi series/franchises ever created, and both ended up canceled while garbage like Star Trek keeps chugging along

Hmm.

Tired, Angry, Frustrated

I hate Makati.

This is no secret. I have been mentioning how much I despise Makati for a long, long time now. The entire city is just one convoluted mess, filled with more buildings and towers than anyone can possibly care to imagine. All the roads and alleys and the streets just annoy me to no end. It doesn't help that the city is just so inconveniently far from where I am, to the point where I'm willing to turn down any job that puts me in that blasted, accursed city. And earlier today, I just added another small even that makes me loathe this blasted city even more than I already do.

You see, as you may or may not now, my office was supposed to have transferred to another building recently. Earlier this morning, according to the last bit of information given to me, I was supposed to report for work in the new building. Which, by the way, is TOO FUCKING FAR. And when I get there, I'm tired and eager to just sit down, relax for a few minutes, and maybe --- just maybe --- get to work. But as I get out of the elevator and look around, I realize something.

Nothing is ready.

I talk a bit and end up finding out that work is still at the old office because the move hasn't been completed yet. I would have been fine with this, had someone actually told me I wasn't supposed to go there yet. That pisses me off.

Honestly. How hard is to to send one text message over a long weekend to tell your employees that no, we haven't moved offices yet? God damn it. An hour and a half of walking down the drain. Hour and a half I could have spent on more productive things.

Bah. Enjoy the picture.

Castle of Cards

This is the Doomgape, my current favorite card in Magic: the Gathering.

Also the symbol of the insanity that's going on with my card collection. You see, I have more cards than I really know what to do with. A large number of them are garbage, like the card collections of pretty much any casual Magic player. Granted, my collection is actually a really small one, but I still don't have a whole lot of room for it. I can only imagine it'd be much, much worse if I could find the cards I managed to pile up from the last time I was really active in Magic, back in high school. Man, that was about three times the size of what I have now.

In an effort to alleviate the problem of having too many unused cards, with a number among them being basic lands, I decided to see if I could build a deck or two out of them. Just for kicks, you know? In the end, aside from my black/green hybrid deck (built out of the cards included in the Eventide Death March precon) and my pure green Elf token deck, I ended up with two more. There's also a third that might come along, which is both a new version of my old black deck and a modified version of the Eventide Life Drain precon.

After much digging, I managed to come up with at least one not-completely crappy deck. A white weenie that has a touch of red in it, of all things. Mostly Kamigawa block, and making heavy use of the Bushido ability. In reality, it isn't a new deck as it is a revival of an older deck, minus the limited burn capability. In exchange, I believe I gave it the ability to boost the power of the creatures in it more. Not entirely sure. I could have just simply added more samurai. I do know that Enduring Renewal and Debtor's Knell were not in the original version - though the two make for a potent combo if you can get them both in play.

Planning on making a black/red deck a little later, to find a home for my copies Demigod of Revenge, Ashenmoor Gouger, and Ashenmoor Liege - along with any other useful black/red hybrid cards that didn't end up in my brother's black/red elemental wither deck. Probably give it plenty of cheap weenies, like goblins and such. I suppose it can serve as a home to my now-displaced Black Knight and Knight of Stromgald cards.

Of course, there's the black/white deck I'm planning. That one's barely complete, and I know I need a few more cards to finish it. However, I also know there are some cards I want to put in there, but am not sure if I can figure out what needs to be taken out to make them all fit. There is also a card that fits the concept of the black/white I'm building very well, but the casting cost is too high for it and it also forces me to remove four other cards that might be useful. That's four cards that'll end up unused and stuck in a box until I decide to tweak one deck or the other again.

All because I got back into the game and now can't dig myself out. Still, it is quite fun, and it gives me something to ponder aside from work and other things that I'd rather not dwell on.

Fitting

This picture is oddly fitting for what's going on with my friend, I think. "Something beautiful is now unraveling and fragmenting," she told me.

Distracted Focus

I need to focus more on the distractions of my life. Anyway, random mini-topics now.

First:
The office is moving. My current place of employ is moving locations to one that is going to take longer for me to get to than it currently is. I am not happy with this, but for the sake of decent pay, I'll put up with this shit. I already walk a lot to and from work to get to the MRT station, and do not relish the idea of needing to walk even further to get to work. It's annoying.


Second:
I'm stumped for something to write. I've ended Darkness & Stars at a somewhat reasonable point, but have decided not to spread it out yet. Maybe when I feel more like spreading awful writing out onto the Internet. As for other projects, I'm drawing a blank. I want to write, but I can't think of anything to write. I take this as proof of the old claim I once made: work kills creativity.


Third:
I have delved back into playing video games in what spare time I can muster. I've got a Gameboy Advance emulator, Warriors Orochi, Samurai Warriors 2, Blood-Over, and Baldur's Gate II all on my PC right now. Oh, and a little beauty called Gadget Trial. Will likely install Planescape: Torment later, too. Been playing a lot more Magic than usual lately, now that I think about it.


Fourth:
I have far too much anime waiting in the wings to be watched, and not enough time or motivation to watch them. Right now, I've decided to focus my attention on Code Geass R2 and Koihime Musou. Once one of them is done, I'll fire up ef - A Tale of Memories, or any of the others in the pipeline.


Fifth:
For a few reasons, I am not happy. In fact, I'm arguably downright depressed. I assume it will pass. It usually does.

Agony

Words cannot describe how much pain I feel right now. So I drown myself in distractions. In video games. In work. In writing. Anything to take my mind off what how awful, empty, and depressed I feel.

Don't ask for an explanation, please. It's far too personal.

The Other Side Of A Pillow

You probably know how it feels. When you rest your head on a pillow all through the night, and when you turn it over and lay your head on it again, it feels...cool, somehow. More comforting. More soothing. Even though it is the same pillow. It's an odd feeling, and one that is so very fleeting. Yet, for what it's worth, it is probably as close to pure, untouched, divine calm as anyone can possibly get while still alive. The sensation is like a string of beautiful music: easy to remember, but impossible to catch. Of course, there are times when that feeling happens to you in life. When that same comfort, that same sense of security, rightness, and calm manifests because of something said or an event - even a minor one. The sensation is positively...intoxicating.

While the story will not be told, the twisted, creative side of me just had one.

And it is a good feeling.

Product Of Boredom

First and foremost, I love the hybrid mechanic. It just makes things so much easier, and allows mono-color decks to access cards and abilities they wouldn't be able to otherwise. Which is probably why my mono-black weenie deck is populated by a number of hybrid black creatures, such as Demigod of Revenge (black/red), Wasp Lancer (black/blue), and even a couple of new creatures from Eventide.

I'm thinking of grabbing this little beauty:

Or this:


At the same time, I'm working on upgrading my old green token deck. It's already an efficient deck for producing tokens. My brother (and my friend, Alicia) are both capable of generating thousands (literally!) of elf tokens with the deck. However, I've always worried that if it couldn't get certain cards into play, it just lacked a big amount of hitting power. However, thanks to hybrid cards from the latest expansion, I can add that much-needed hitting power.

Thank you to the Doomgape and Creakwood Liege.

Oh, and on an unrelated note, I feel bad for my friend Alicia. She's found a woman that's basically the second love of her life, and now she only has two weeks left with her. Kind of sad, really. Still, she's happy she's found love, even for a short while.

Self-Destruction

It's one thing to destroy yourself. It's another thing completely to watch someone else do the same.

One thing that most people don't expect about me is just how empathic I can be. Which is one of the many, many reasons I try not to let people too close. I tend to feel their problems as if it was mine, which is a tendency to make life difficult for me if I'm unable to solve those problems and get them out of my way. Still, man can't live life alone, and even I have a few people that have gotten closer to me than I should have ever allowed.

An old friend of mine has been effectively put through more emotional turmoil in a matter of days than most people have to go through their whole lives. Granted, she's got more issues than Time magazine, but the other girl involved in this equation, from what I'm told, has pretty much the same amount of problems. Just of a different nature. Of course, my friend isn't the talkative type, and the other girl involved in this is someone I don't know. Even so, their problems are starting to really get on my nerves, as thinking about how to fix it has begun to disrupt my perfectly orchestrated daily routine.

This is particularly true now, with my friend effectively destroying herself over a girl who, from what I've seen, probably could not care any less about her. Sadly, my friend has never been one to listen to my advice unless I'm mistaken about something. Since she won't take my advice and cut her losses, that can only mean I'm right and she's setting herself up for an inevitable and irreversible disaster.

I hate not being able to fix things. Hate it.

Yin And Yang

All things in the world, so the belief goes, are governed by the opposing and complimentary forces of Yin and Yang. Day must not exist without night. Life must not exist without death. Prey must not exist without predator. This is the way things are, with Yin and Yang struggling for dominance, and somehow attaining balance halfway through. That is, if the object that serves as the vessel or phylactery for Yin and Yang is a stable creature, one that does not have the sentience needed to question the very nature of what it is and what it is meant for.

So what of people?

Naturally, Yin and Yang must be adapted to people before this question can be answered properly.

Yin is traditionally the feminine principle. It represents the cold, logic, rationality, and the lack of change. It is the guardian of how things are. Yang is more often believed to be a masculine principle. It represents warmth, emotion, creativity, and the impulsiveness in a person. It is what breaks down barriers, forms relationships, and fuels change in an otherwise static soul.

Assuming that all creation behaves in flows and counter-flows of Yin and Yang, humans should also fall under this mandate. Theoretically, Yin and Yang should find balance in people. There should be equal amounts of both forces present in any given individual's personality, even if some of the forces and traits are more prominent at times than others. Yet, as I have often observed, that is not always the case. Some people have more Yin, others exhibit signs of a severe imbalance towards Yang. Under normal circumstances, this would only display itself as personality quirks and not cause massive damage.

That is, unless the imbalance manifests during a relationship.

Relationships, as has often been said, are about balance. What if the people in this relationship do not have their own balance set? What if one is attuned too much to Yin, behaving more coldly rational than is called for and always looking at things with an analytical eye? What if they were to love someone attuned to Yang, who follows instinct, impulse, and prefers to live in the now and deal with the uncertain consequences of their actions later? What happens when their opposing views collide?

If a Yin-attuned person encounters a Yang-attuned person, does it create balance in their relationship? Do their opposite natures collide and cause friction, eventually tearing them apart over their differences?

What happens when a Yin imbalance meets another Yin imbalance? There is no balance, but there might be some initial harmony between them. However, cold rationality is often a poor thing to consistently display in a relationship that is meant to be tied with emotional bonds. Would the excessive Yin between them also tear them apart? Would a situation like this, only with both having an excess of Yang, also result in the same problem?

What happens when someone with an imbalance collides with someone who has no imbalance? When excessive Yang or Yin encounters someone grounded in the center? The possibilities of that are even more disturbing to comprehend than a collision of Yin and Yang, as there is no telling how the imbalance will react to the balance in the long-term.

It is an interesting thing that has started to gnaw on me, as my friend describes her current relationship as "Yang colliding far too often with Yin for either one of them to really be compatible in the long-term." Yes, theoretically, the Yang and Yin they possess should balance each other out. However, it is also theoretically possible for them to just collide and damage one another until they pull apart.

I wish her and the object of her affections well, and hope that she is incorrect in her assessment. I also have this gnawing belief that my friend Alicia is wrong about the girl she's in love with, that this girl (her name has not been made known to me, let alone other details) is not Yin-imbalanced, but merely more comfortable displaying Yin characteristics.

Of course, if Alicia is Yang and this girl is balanced between the two, I can only pray it does not end in disaster.

Coffee Culture Confused

We seem to be living in a semi-global culture obsessed with coffee. If nothing else, the prevalence of Starbucks and Seattle's Best stores exemplifies that. These places, along with smaller and more "little guy" establishments often serve a myriad of concoctions and mixes and modifications. And, for some reason I do not understand, people are willing to pay the most exorbitant of prices for them. I just don't get it. I mean, it's just coffee.

Between the fact that it's nothing more than coffee with a lot of bells and whistles, and that they're insanely expensive for what they are, I don't understand the obsession. I mean, for the prices they charge for a single glass (or whatever they call it) of their stuff, I could get myself a decent meal somewhere. Frankly, I'd much rather have a decent meal than excellent coffee - much more long-term benefit out of the former for me. Or for anyone with even the slightest modicum of sense, really.

I see nothing special about it. Mind you, I'm not one of those detractors that has never even tried the stuff. I'll admit that, once upon a really bored time, I tried a couple of Starbucks mixes. They were good, but not really all that special. One of them tasted a little too much like liquefied, brownie-like ice cream. The other was just coffee, cooled to a nice, icy state and maybe a little sweeter than normal. Nothing that the average creative (or bored) person can do at home with the right stuff available.

I just honestly don't get the point. I mean, it's fancy coffee, but in the end, it's just coffee. I mean, it's not even a long-term investment, like the purchase of a sourcebook for a pen and paper RPG you play, or that new Magic: the Gathering card that fits perfectly into your deck. It's just coffee.

Hedgehog's Dilemma

I'll open up to the fact that, in countless ways, my past is not squeaky clean. The damn thing would probably have a rather disturbing checkered pattern on it, with the occasional blood stain and burn mark as added accent. In simpler terms, I've done a lot of awful things, and usually to people who didn't deserve any of it. Awful things, simply because they seemed like good ideas at the time. I usually knew there would be consequences, but I couldn't be bothered to, as my friend Alicia once put it, "look at the victims."

The contrast she would later point out intrigued me. I don't think about the consequences of my actions, and rarely consider the impact my decisions and my statements might have on the people around me. I never consider anything when I do a lot of things, really. Well, so long as they don't really involve whatever my mind pushes as a priority at the time the decision needed to be made. Which brings up the contrast.

I hate hurting people, and like most people, I don't enjoy getting hurt. However, the best means of avoiding both is to go against general human nature.

Which then leads us to the Hedgehog's Dilemma, which inspired the title of this post.

Hedgehogs, for the unaware, are little critters that have lots and lots of spines on them. Lots. These spines are very painful to touch, such that anything that gets too close is guaranteed to get hurt. However, being mildly social creatures (and let's not forget the need to reproduce), the hedgehogs will eventually need to get physically close. However, this poses a dilemma. By getting close to another hedgehog, one is setting one's self up for being hurt, while also risking hurting the other one. So, given the desire to avoid pain and the conflict it poses to the situation at hand, what does one do?

Human beings, as pointed out in Neon Genesis Evangelion, are in much the same situation. Human relationships are fraught with the risk of hurting someone and being hurt - frightfully, they usually go hand in hand with one another. Which leaves people seeking relationships that mean something, that result in something close, but still slightly pull away because they're afraid of committing everything and then being burned by what they've given up.

Human relationships are things that are, by nature, very dangerous. There is an inherent amount of pain in being in a relationship, and for some people, that pain outweighs whatever benefits there might be to being in one.

What does this all have to do with my past, you might ask? Plenty.

I've come to understand the nature of the hedgehog's dilemma. I've managed to somehow have an instinctive understanding of it for many, many years. Which has resulted in me simultaneously seeking out relationships with people, but also working to push them away and attempting to sabotage them from the inside. And that has result in me being hurt, but also in a lot of other people I've come to care about (even a little) to be hurt. A lot, in some cases.

I sort of feel sad thinking about that.

So what has that gotten me? Not a whole lot. I'm solidly against getting too close to people, but I tend to seek out ways to get closer to people too. I guess, in a way, I'm a perfect example of someone trapped in the hedgehog's dilemma.

Cyborg Name Decoder

My friend thinks it funny. I do too.

Get Your Cyborg Name

That's 'Captain' To You!

In celebration of the impending release of Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots, Captain Mei Ling:


Players who ran through Metal Gear Solid would remember those little bits of wisdom Mei Ling would spout off whenever you saved your game. It took me a long, long while, but I think I finally got most of them down.

"You must cross the river before you tell the crocodile he has bad breath."
"Nought's had, all's spent, where our desire is got without content."
"He who knows that enough is enough will always have enough."
"Friendly counsel cuts off many foes."
"If there are more wolves, the people are eaten; if there are more people, the wolves are eaten."
"The cautious seldom err."
"It is better to live ugly than die beautiful."
"When walking through a melon patch, don't adjust your sandals."
"He who is firm in will molds the world to himself."
"Solitude sometimes is best society, and short retirement urges sweet return."
"The proud man does not eat rotten meat even when hungry, nor steal water from another's well when he thirsts."
"Once the fox gets his nose in, he'll soon find a way to make his body follow."
"It is the strong swimmer who most often drowns."
"Gather ye rosebuds while ye may, old time is still aflying, this same flower, that smiles today, tomorrow will be dying."
"Rashness brings success to few, misfortune to many."
"The snake, knowing itself, strikes swiftly."
"Win in any way you can. Nice guys finish last."
"I'll fight, till from my bones my flesh be hack'd, give me my armour."
"War he sung, is toil and trouble; honour but an empty bubble."
"The graveyards are full of indispensable men."
"The mind cannot be in two places at once."
"Oh, it is excellent to have a giant's strength, but it is tyrannous to use it like a giant."
"The tongues of dying men enforce attention, like deep harmony."
"The superior man is modest in his speech, but exceeds in his actions."
"Wise men ne'er sit and wail their loss, But cheerily seek how to redress their harms."
"Come, what come may, time and the hour runs through the roughest day."

Maybe? Could Be? Nah, Probably Not.

I read this somewhere once. "Money can't buy you happiness, but somehow, love can."

Personally, I thought this was rubbish. Until just recently.

So now, I'm starting to wonder...

Last Days In The Trenches

Today is officially the last working day that I am among Ascend Asia's rank and file content writers. No, I haven't done something that would get me fired. On the contrary, I've somehow managed to get myself roped into being, of all things, promoted. For me, this is both a good and bad thing.

This is a good thing because more money is coming to me. Money is always a good thing to have more than adequate amounts of. Between my constant upgrading process for my black deck and my "still in construction" white/green deck (that is designed to directly oppose the black deck on many levels and mirror it on others), not to mention the latest addition to my laptop collection, Kaguya, and the new PDA I plan to buy sometime after the next few months, I estimate that I'm going to need a much larger cash flow than I have now.

Yeah, pretty much money is the only real positive I see about this.

The first thing I worried that I'd lose when my promotion becomes official, however, is time. I have never been one to willingly and consistently sacrifice time. I can donate money. I can donate some bits of my unusual wisdom. I can lie about my understanding other people's problems and donate my sympathy and empathy. However, I do not like the idea of having to donate time. Much less sacrifice it.

And damn it, sacrificing my time is likely going to be the first thing that I end up doing if certain people don't shape up and certain conventions are not...restored to their proper state. Unfortunately, despite being promoted, I am rapidly becoming certain that I still do not have the administrative power needed to correct the glaring mistake I see in how things are being done by the day shift writers, and it sickens me. Mainly because, for as long as this is done, I'm bound to not only have to deal with it, but also end up sacrificing my time for it.

Naturally, I want to expect them to be willing to sacrifice their own time, but I know this aspect of their behavior well. They'd be more willing to leave the work (and whoever is handling the editing) hanging because they've got somewhere to go than live up to their responsibilities. I know I'm not the perfect, work-work-work employee, but for the love of Cthulhu, I at least know how to finish on time despite distracting myself from my work. My day shift co-workers, clearly, do not. Until they can finish everything within the shift, I'm afraid that I'm going to be spending a lot more time with Sumire (my PC at work, which I have decided to name such).

Maybe I can fix this, but that's unlikely. The person that's higher in rank than me (in practice, but not on paper) is just as likely to condone the offending practice as the others are to continue it, regardless of who's in charge. She's a capable enough person on her own to handle all the duties, and she has a good head between her shoulders, but I'm almost certain she'll simply be too lenient to do anything about the problem. This leniency, of course, will just encourage them to continue it.

The worst, most sickening part of this? I know that these bastards can actually get things done. Even get things done early. It happened once before, when they had no choice but be under my watch. Sure, the requirements then were half of what are required now, but come on. If I can do it, and I'm not even trying, why can't they?

Given the chance, I'd be more than happy to do what I have to in keeping them in-line. I'm no big fan of Intellicrap policies regarding backlog work and variances, but I'm also a creature of practicality. I'm not about to refuse the use of a working tool to improve the performance of the whole, no matter how much I dislike the tool itself. I'd hate to have to end up feeling like I have no choice but to suggest the most rigid, draconian of measures be implemented, either. I only hope that things never come to that.

But these are just my worries. We'll see how things work out when it actually comes. I'm not hoping for the best, but I am preparing for the worst.

On another note, I am now experiencing what I think is being on the wrong side of a one-sided interest of the possibly romantic variety. I find this sensation...slightly disarming.

No, I'm not talking about this.

I Buy Sushi

Some may get the subtle reference/joke that is the title of this post. Most won't.

Anyway, a vaguely entertaining weekend just passed me by. I managed to snag a copy of Warriors Orochi for the PC, and spent a few hours or so in hack-and-slash fun. Sure, it isn't the deepest, most engaging plot in the world, but right now, I need less thinking, more killing in my games. Doesn't help that the female characters of the game are just so darn cute sometimes. Mildly annoyed by how hard it is to complete everything in the game, though. Not to mention how disturbing it is to notice that the lines of spoken dialog seem to suffer from an ungodly delay, which can seriously be detrimental to completing some of the tasks. Still, the game is repetitive but fun overall. Definitely a nice game to break in my new laptop, Kaguya, with.

I also discovered that, after many years of loyal service and hours of fun, my time-worn copy of Baldur's Gate II is now officially dead. The "redundant cycle check" problem, not to mention some scratches here and there from years of abuse, have finally taken their toll. The prospects of me finding another copy anytime soon are rather low, which is sad, really. Sure, I don't play the game as often as I used to back when I first got it, but I delve into the Forgotten Realms and install it every now and again for a few hours. Or when there's a new mod that I'm interesting in trying out. This would not have been a problem had I kept a clean install somewhere, but I neglected to do that after formatting my older laptop, Sakura, who had been suffering from some hard drive problems.

Yesterday, me and the family also went to Manila Ocean Park. Lots of fish, which is good. Lots of people, which is bad. And sharks, which is just beautiful. I am mildly disappointed that there wasn't much in terms of variety. There weren't any truly exotic species there, either, but I guess that is understandable. Still, the place had sharks (including my favorites, the black-tip reef shark) and rays, so I'm not that disappointed.

Pictures!

Oops.

For a few months now, I've had a couple of things nagging me at the back of my mind. I know I'm supposed to do something, but can't, for the life of me, remember what they are. In such cases, I just tend to gloss over them --- let them fester like the sensation of omnipresent aching you get from an old battle wound. So I did just leave it there, not paying one bit of attention to it.

Then, last Friday, someone kindly reminded me of one of them.

So sorry about the delay. My bad. Here they are.







Late, late, late addition:


Oh, and for those who play these sorts of things:
Touhou 11: Scarlet Weather Rhapsody is now available. Chaotic fun.